Getting money to leave your situation. Be it a bad boss, place or relationship

Alone and looking out for the danger

Many times we are either stuck in place, or being held in a bad place or relationship by our own mistakes or a controlling person.

A few dollars or shekels reluctantly handed over at times, when we are at the end of our tether.

Many pseudo-wealthy use this technique to maximize their control (abuse), just within the margins of the law.

Like the pseudo-wealthy, there is not much use bringing someone to account while they are doing it, unless you can invoke an authority they will listen to - (it doesn't have to be yours, and is better if it isn't really.)

Seriously, we must extricate ourselves (get out of the bad place), and prevent it happening again to us.


Both domestic abusers, and bad bosses or employers do give away their tendencies early on.

Yet for now we must re-establish ourselves.....

6 Ways to Be Financially Independent From a Controlling person

Don’t lose hope.

Keep trying. If you’ve been with a controlling husband or wife or partner – or importantly - a critical person – for a long time, you may feel hopeless. This is their plan, to make you feel inadequate so they won't lose you. In psychology, your perception is called 'learned helplessness.' You may believe you’ll never learn how to become financially independent because your abuser keeps telling you that you need them to survive, and in some way/s you are not good enough. Don’t lose hope! Remember that others have got out of these sort of situations too. You Must Leave these people - they will replace you with a better deal on a whim.

Remember that; interdependence' is more a help here than 'independence'

Interdependence means you’re part of a community that supports each other. This community might be a neighbor, a workplace, a book club, a walking or gardening group, somewhere you can have a clear thinking space. Note - not a conversational pity party, or verbal bashing place - negative realism is good,- forward action is what will help you most. When you’re learning how to become financially independent in a controlling situation, focus on finding a network or community of people that you can rely on – and who can rely on you. Do connect with others, be interdependent, even for a short while.

Find people who found financial independence themselves

The best way to learn how to become financially independent with you’re in a controlling relationship, or situation is to connect with others who have 'Been There, Done That.'
They may be able to guide you in the right direction. DO NOT use a banker, lawyer, or their associates, as your mentor or guide. Those groups are there to do what you tell them to do, and they will only work for their advantage - not yours - ever.
Try for an honest business man or woman, with some years of experience, or a trusted Rabbi or priest.

Humble yourself

It’s very difficult for most productive people to ask for financial help. Applying for government assistance, researching housing allowances for single parents with children, or similar - finding ways to support yourself is a humbling (or worse) experience. It need only be temporary, and you can pay it back in the future, in real form or volunteering. If it is restart to a more productive life - you can justify it to yourself.

LISTEN to financial advice about how you handle money

If you aren’t a financially independent now, maybe you were never taught how to handle money or balance a budget. Maybe you enjoy spending money, as most of us do; – and think -- maybe you married a controlling partner so you had an external source of structure.

Again, the successful impartial honest - business person or religious minister, may be your best source of advice - do avoid government sponsored programs, unless you get to deal with a very old retired adviser with a positive empathetic attitude. Like the lawyers, bankers, etc the government programs are there for their benefit, not yours at all.

Be a burden

"I have no family support and I don’t want to burden anyone,"..... "I want out of this marriage/relationship/job so bad, but I don’t have the money to leave. She/He knows I can’t make it on my own financially, and they always want me to pay something so I have no money left from my paycheck."
This is unbelievably common - as if it is a standard operations procedure taught to abusers - and we are so often led into this place.

No normal person wants to be a burden on their kids, friends, family, or coworkers! But on occasion you can succeed a lot easier with getting help from others. You will return the favor in the future, right?
Again be very suspicious of the bankers, mortgage, or finance brokers - avoid them in fact, they are there to further their own aims, not yours. A temporary written agreement that you repay as soon as you can, between friends etc., is always better.

Financial independence will cost you time, energy, resolve, humility, and focus. But the rewards are really worth it!

Be Aware now, and once you 'escape,' always have a reserve of even survival money - unknown, and usually untouchable - you can have it all over the world nowadays - so long as it is tax paid money, and ownership proven - it is legal and moral to do so - do keep it out of the public view.
Feel free to contact us in confidence to know how.




Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple...

  Patricia Evan's books:- Recognizing and dealing with verbal abuse. (buy and read them all!)

 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.



Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -

Is it better to be alone for a while, than in bad company? Red flags to pay attention to.

Bare maiden making her own way in life

Ideally, you would surround yourself with people who make you a better person and let go of those who don’t. Sometimes we are in we think someplace or somewhere too deep, and at a point in life, determined for us by others.

Bad company can be inspiring in the real sense, that it lets us or brings us to a place in our life that 'forces' us to begin to change for the better.

We must be alert to the often well hidden indicators of bad influence. It is always better to prevent a disease, rather than deal with the aftermath if at all possible. Many of the qualities listed below must awaken you to your own value and inspire you to choose your own life path.

Some other people will only......

1.  Make time for you when it’s convenient for them.

Don’t use too much of your time with someone who only wants you around when only it’s convenient for them. You shouldn’t have to force someone to make a space in their life for you, or be in a relationship with someone who overlooks your worth. Know that you are self-worthy, and do move ahead. It’s obvious, but any relationship without regular interaction and communication is going to have problems, especially when there’s a lack of commitment.

2.  They hold your past against you.

Some people will refuse to accept that you are no longer who you used to be – that you’ve made mistakes in the past, learned from them, and moved past them.  They may not be accept that you’re growing and moving on with your life, and they will try to control you. Keep moving forward.

3.  You feel trapped.

Healthy relationships leave the doors and windows wide open.  Plenty of acceptance is flowing and no one feels trapped.  Relationships do thrive in this kind of unrestricted environment.  You, or your partner can come and go as you please, but you choose to stay because where you are is where you want to be.
 

4.  They discredit your dreams and abilities.

If you allow others to define your dreams and abilities, then you let them to hold you back.  What you’re capable of achieving is not a function of what other people think is possible for you.  It depends a lot on what you choose to do with your time and energy. They of course will try to get you to devote time and energy only towards them.
  Do look beyond the presumptions and limitations of others, and  en-vision of how YOUR life can be. And move towards it.

5.  They have lied to you more than once.

Love is an activity, no matter what the mass media tell you. Love is not just feelings of passion and romance between lovers; it is an approach and behavior among friends and family.  If someone lies to you, more than a couple of times - they do not value your relationship. You must address the events, and resolve them, or limit your contact in those areas they have trouble with. Be it all, or in part.

6.  Their negativity is rubbing off on you.

The negative people in your life don’t just behave negatively towards you, but towards life.  What they say and do is a projection of their own reality – their own inner challenges.
This is important to remember because what these negative people say and do shouldn’t be taken to heart.  Although you don’t have control over what they say and do; you do have control over whether or not you allow them to say and do these things to you. Remember they cannot tip dirty water into the bucket if the lid is closed.

7.   They are excessively envious of what you have.

Envy is not OK, when someone is envious of what you have, there’s a good chance what they really want is to steal it from you. Either show them how they can get a similar (or to them a better thing), or dispose of them as surely as you can.
(That doesn't mean to kill them, as much as that might be the right thing to do - the best way is to use an authority they respect in their life to control them in a direction away from you-)
Excessive envy doesn’t tell you how much someone admires you, it tells you how much they dislike themselves.

8.  They motivate you to be judgmental or hateful.

Some people are avoidable, and some types even more so. Yet to tell a personality quickly you find out how they talk about others - this is the real them.
If you judge others as a group by their culture, religion, skin color, or their outer beauty, you do miss something good about who they really are.
People who motivate you to judge or hate others are bad company. They will turn on you as soon as it's needed to for their own gratification.
Some groups, and their belief systems, are ones you do want to be around,  do move with your feet, rather than your mouth - you will more easily get to where you want.

9.  They want you to be someone else.

If someone expects you to be someone you’re not, take a step back. Ask yourself, and then them, why?
Maybe you could be on the path to a better life - make sure it is yours - not theirs.  It’s wiser to lose relationships over being who you are, than to keep them intact by pretending to be like someone you’re not.

Thought for the day: Be aware of the ways the insecure use to hold you. 

Move forward, and keep moving forward. There are some good people in the world, it is up to you to invite and welcome, and be a little attractive to the good into your life

Recommended links to help you now

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -

pic courtesy of Bare maidens

Being Brave and How to End a Relationship - Not the right time for you or even a bad one

Developing your strength of mind as well.

Have you given the relationship a fair chance? If you change your mind you won't be able to go back - and you'll often find that your partner refuses to resume the relationship, or will have too many conditions on you, or plain doesn't trust you.

And there where be some later 'cosmic' reaction - guaranteed.
People's - yours and theirs, non verbalized or subconscious minds do store events for a later resolution, some sooner than later - some violent or not.

Hard to think of while you are in the heat of the moment -  but this is an absolute reality - so think and then choose wisely.

In the future do you really want this person to drive past you while you are in a bad accident? You don't need them to feel sorry for you or to be guilty for their previous actions - your aim is to encourage them that their decision, or decision making is OK for them, so you and they feel comfortable in at least the same town, even if you don't like each other.


Be Brave

Once you've decided that you definitely want to break up with your partner, the next step is to do that. Again that means to do try in an honest and straight forward way.

This is the opposite technique to a lot of people use, which is to try and get their partner to dump them – by acting cold, distant and not like themselves, until their partner decides they've had enough and ends the relationship.
If you are trying to get your partner to dump you, and you tell yourself you're doing it for their benefit, the reality it is that you are doing it out of your own fear – an indicator that you still have both some people skills, and relationship skills to learn.

 

Timing

 

Sooner, rather than letting it drag out of course. Giving a reasonable consideration to each party's easy movement away. There is no need, and it is a bad move to babysit your soon to be ex, yet you will find they will leave faster, and without repercussions (bad stuff aimed at you) - if you encourage their plans away from you. Giving psychic permission almost.

Be Kind

Most inadequate partners give the other an excuse that "you need to find yourself" or that you're "going through stuff." Others use the techniques of deception above, and others almost seem to invite violence in their verbal statements.
Being honest and straight forward doesn't mean letting it all hang out,it means being accurate in your statements.
Mostly it is best to consider that it is not what they did that is the problem, or not what they are, but rather your reaction to that, and lastly always give someone praise in their abilities - in the direction you would like them to go.
 This way you don't leave them feeling undesirable or unlovable,(which by now they may be to you). You simply leave them realising that the relationship is not this one, this will generally ensure your safety, even if they are disappointed, and help you feel in control.


Leave It

The next stage is to 'walk away' and to allow each other physical space. If they do continuously message you and you feel you need to respond then simply address the issues raised in short polite sentences, and then end the message. Learn to limit your words - this saves you trouble.
This way you will be able to draw a line under your relationship and both begin a process of healing.

Living in the world later 

 

Start some new activity or hobbies to bring new experiences to your life. In an ideal world you would enjoy your singleness, while you grow yourself within. Hobby ideas from amazon.

 

Moving forward

 

Think about what you can change in you to get more of a relationship you want. An easy book to start with is Roy Sheppards - "..Be The One"

Safety, threats, violence. blackmail, etc

 

 No one wants, or hopefully expects these - they are generally methods used by a weaker person to get control.

If you have gone through the above carefully, it will be unlikely - go through the above again -then if it does start - it needs to be stopped.

Anonymous and truthful complaints from third parties - e.g. a religious minister, or an individual with some social or business standing to - an authority in that offending person's life - are the most effective in giving them a chance to evaluate their life direction.
 (Do remember the natural law of reaction: - we have known people to wait more than 20 years to effect devastating lifestyle blows to a false complainant).


Recommended Links To Help You....Choose a couple...


'The Dangerous Woman'  or  'Venus the dark side'  -- Both Highly recommended reads

Become Self Assertive, and more a Confident you, from today with -

Or take an Assertiveness course. These will help you stand your ground without becoming aggressive or hostile.
If you feel physically intimidated by people, you might want to consider a self-defense course, or training books as well.



Assertiveness training, stress handling techniques by the world famous David Bonham-Carter.

Plan your next escape ; - you choose where to - with Webjet.

Relationship and marriage enhancement and improvement techniques and help.

***

Weights and fitness for Men and Women - taught by Mark McManus

***

or The 12 week muscle building program By Brad Pilon M.Sc.

***

*If your situation is unsafe/or may be unsafe - get local trusted registered professional advice from more than two unrelated identities.see important note. 


pic courtesy public domain

Being called a fat kid, I wish they would go away, or maybe if only I was thinner

Cellulite, and loving or being loved for me.

As a budding adult who felt at times like a whale, or at least called it often enough to think it may be true. I thought that if  I couldn’t stop my desire for food with a combination of prayer and will power, then I felt I was a failure.

*If you have a health problem- see your local licensed professional.(click this link) There may be an underlying problem, which is easy to fix.


Key point: - People sometimes can convince themselves to believe things that serve their self-interest, evidence not really proving that it is true. Our choices do matter.


The medical establishment and diet industry respond with any number of products, and with  broad words that blame faulty diets and the dieters for our inability to weigh less. Each product, and each profession is the only answer - and so they try to sell us.

We are told people who regain weight need to exercise more and eat more vegetables or try the next new magic tool: A big breakfast, paleo, detoxification, eat only this..,pasta, nut, vege, fruit, or this eating plan from this country or region, or any number of brand name solutions- . . .and so on.

The bottom line is, if you don’t lose weight and keep it off, you're told you chose the wrong one or did it wrong -now choose this idea.
This show does have some similarities to the one-product-fixes-everything performers. of the Victorian reign.

Fat need not be about being weak or lazy or sloppy or indifferent.
It’s mostly about biology, and your, and your available, choices of response behaviour.

There is a mismatch between modern culture, fashions, economics, technologies, the food promoted, and the average human body.

It is time to tell anyone who suggests it is easy to lose 10 kilos or twenty pounds, to consider reality. 

• We already know we’d be better off health-wise if we lost weight. 
• We already know we’d have better odds in romance and job interviews, and just being accepted. 
• You don’t need to convince us to care, lectures do not help.
• For many of us, it’s not a matter of where there’s a will there’s a way; it’s a matter of where there’s a way there’s a will. 
• If doctors and other public health advocates (salespeople) were more honest - they would take the time to understand the combination of issues and realities we face.

Promoting diets is about as sophisticated and effective as promoting sexual abstinence for teens.
Part of the answer, and of course the 'best' way - it does seem to ignore the other components of life.

And just beneath the surface, many 'fat' people are caught in endless cycles of self-scrutiny and self-blame about their weight:

• Was it my childhood?
• Is it my medication or birth control? 
• Is it my conflict avoidance, or comfort in life? 
• Am I staying up too late? 
• Am I going to bed too early? 
• .............and it goes on.

The recriminations, especially to yourself are no help. They draw energy away from your dreams and projects, or the wonders and beauties of the world, and the creativity and passion you have to making your world better.

Weight loss is achieved, with food (or hopefully) nutrition selections, activity (body movement) choices, hormonal/biochemical changes in our body, social reinforcements (both positive and negative), all on a pleasant? ongoing basis.
A mentor, or guide, as in one who has truthfully gone before is superb.
No one single proposal is the answer, your body is a system.


Perhaps the biggest gift, is the freedom you can get from the constant chatter in your head. that interrupts us at most times.

 By using simple thought changes, with some positive reinforcement the changes can be faster.

One of the easiest, and long lasting ways = is to change your situation; sometimes that is easier, and in fact best to do that within ourselves a little first.

It may seem like an ad for hypnotherapy- yet if you look past the fluff- the following programs do work (and they are fully guaranteed).
In fact they produce a sure positive change in nearly everyone that applies them. (you'll need to do other daily and important things as well - these are the beginning factor to your new life)
Some people say it feels like magic because it is so easy to make powerful changes;- and they are correct in a way, as the learning opens up new ways of help.

You Deserve This! Choose one!


Recommended links to help you now.

****

Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition  


   


OR

Reinvent yourself with a personalized Dukan Diet.









photo courtesy of Robert & Mihaela Vicol at publicphoto.org

Someone suggested self hypnosis - does it really work?

'Getting what you want in life'

When we think of hypnosis we often think of or remember the on stage shows of Derren Brown, Émile Coué de la Châtaigneraie, The Amazing Kreskin, - or the native witchdoctor and their spells.

Those all change peoples behaviour responses to the showman/shamans intonations or command.


When you see what is happening you can make the technique work easily - and do it for you to help you.

It is a simple 4 step system, with an invocation by someone in authority. In this case the authority of you is going to be you.

It's claimed to fix any health, love,weight, or money - any problem you have in fact. If you have a big problem- see your local licensed professional. 

What is does and will do - is change your response to triggers or events - if you have a good teacher.

You are better with a program without direct person contact initially, some therapists are in a guru mentality, and may take advantage of you.



One 4 step system (with a guarantee)
Step 1. CLEARING This is a hypnotic recording that allows the release of negative energy and influence in general. An  imagery used is that you are lying in a most pleasant stream of water. You are asked to conceptualize how you want to be.


Step 2. HYPNOSIS This recording will take you as deep into hypnosis as you want.
At the deepest level you are given hypnotic suggestions identical to the suggestions that relate to the other parts.

Step 3.  SUBLIMINAL
Brings growth into the suggestions (effective while you do other things).

Step 4. SLEEP LEARNING Continues the suggestions effect while you sleep;- the committment of action is the reinforcer here.


Other styles follow similar ways - and given time to experiment - you can even learn to do it for others.

Like everything, it is uncommon for bags of gold, or whatever you want to directly fall from the empty sky- you must move towards it or them with some activity, to make sure it works for you.

Having done years of sleep tapes alone, my advice would be a short sleep tape as you go to sleep--not the mass media TV-- and only a short one so your body can recover and rebuild while you sleep.
Then on awakening try for quietness -use that time for reading something helpful/inspiring or for your own thoughts.You may have to awake several minutes early.

Doing your self hypnosis exercises mid-morning, or mid-afternoon - while you can stay awake after,seems to have the fastest results.




Recommended links to help you now.



OR



Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition  


   


Turn your computer into the ultimate meditation assistant.





 





pic courtesy Keith Allison- flickr

The source of luck - reaping the fruits of success.

As the fruit to the tree and the water to the source, so results are to thoughts.

In nature it's the result of to us, of a silent growth; a process which has long been gathering force.

 The fruit of the tree and the water from the mountains are the effect of a combination of natural processes in the air and earth which work together to produce them, and some say the gift of their god.


If one allows a thought to enter his mind; and a second and a third time he welcomed it, and then allows it to remain, gradually he gets used to it, and being cherished, and fondled, and tended; it grows, until it becomes a part of the self; and at last it gains a strength and force that it attracts to itself the opportunity which allows it to burst forth and ripen into results.

The source of luck.

You must be careful- if you build your castles of thought on the shifting sands. the foundations will be gradually give way, so at last falls any strong man who allows corrupt thoughts to creep into his mind.

Guard well your thoughts, for what you really are in your secret thoughts today, be it good or not, you may in some form become, sooner or later.

Using Your Mental Attitude

 

As a being of thought, your dominant mental attitude will determine your condition in life. It will also be the gauge of your knowledge and the measure of your attainment.

 You are the thinker of your thoughts and as such you are the maker of yourself and condition. Thought is causal -(not casual) and creative, and appears in your character and life in the form of results.

A woman or a man thinks, and their life appears. 

You imagine your circumstances as being separate from yourself, but they are intimately related to your inner world of thought. Nothing is fated, everything is formed.  
The offering of fate is either an acquiescence, or a dictator's tool of control.

You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. You can alter your thoughts, and in time alter your condition.

You will often come to the place where your most abiding and intense thoughts have a sense of internal security.

You are as powerful to obey as you are to disobey; as strong to be pure as to be impure.

Ideally no man is hindered by another; he is only hindered by himself.

Yet. you must be careful- deceitful and insecure people will constantly try to unsettle you, so they are in a position of control.

Your mental attitude towards others will faithfully react upon yourself, and will manifest itself in every relation of your life.

(Use the pointing of the index finger while the other 3 fingers point back towards to you, to be reminded of that).

As the father-mother of your thoughts, and your children's if you have them. you are the maker of your/their state and condition.

When you know yourself, you will perceive, that every event in your life is weighed in a faultless balance.

As you begin to understand the law within your mind you will begin to regard yourself as an maker of circumstances, and will in time become the strong and seeing master of your reality, getting the results you want.


 
Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition  


   

Another Plato inspired story

pic courtesy of Public Domain Images