My Self Esteem,- Daily Habits and thought patterns of failure or success.

Casting of the spells maiden

Rituals or habits do define you. Many times we have seemingly woken up from a slumber, and found ourselves in a place we never thought we would be, whether it is a dead end job, bad relationship or bad place, the resulting thought is the same. How did this happen to me? Or how can I get out of this?
There must be more!    Apart from the ever increasing noise from the mass media, which encourages cognitive dissonance - a not happy with this - so buy this mentality.

The changing of our thought patterns to that of possibility thinking, is hopefully the initiative and an answer.

It is one of the answers - read below to find the rest of the habits that are guaranteed to change your life as you know it today-

• Change something and get different results. – It is better to change your reaction, or really response to events to get a different result. If you are making a cake, the end enjoyment comes from the ingredients you put in, and how you deal with them. Take one thing in your day, and come up with a different approach, and apply it for a week every day, and see what begins to happen.

• Waiting for the right time is good if you are prepared. –Don't wait to win the lottery, you might, yet you might starve in the meantime. Start learning the paths of success, and prepare yourself - someone said - for life's great adventure. Most of the time you must dare to jump when you have the opening or chance. If really feel that you want to start with some paid education - Udemy online  is a good place.

• Your planning and focus are on the way. – Planning is easy; just as you plan your clothes dressing before going out, formulate a pattern that works for you - it can just be a 60-second process.  Here is an idea:- Every night, think about three  things that you want to accomplish tomorrow, write down how long they will take, what prep will help, and write them down.  When you wake up in the morning look over the list, and then take the first step.  If you find yourself being lured to do something that’s not on that short list of three things, bring yourself back and focus. It is your list, and your life.

• Accept necessary risks. – Avoid unnecessary risks, they a huge waste of time. Yet living is about learning as you go, you can make adjustments and carry on with your life, looking back and congratulating yourself on handling that.

• The rejections of yesterday were learning experiences of the world yesterday. –Believing that you CAN is important, and this is what any domestic abuser will try to change. You learnt to walk or move, so you can learn to be in a better place for yourself. Yesterdays rejections means the other person or circumstance didn't suit us at the time.  It means we have more time to improve ourselves – to perfect our approach, and to build upon our ideas or skills.

• Take responsibility. – Not any or every event in your life is your fault, but they are all your responsibility.  Positively taking some responsibility for your situation, and mostly for your path forward can change everything.  Leave the unchangeable past/people behind you as you allow yourself to focus on the present moment.  Negatively blaming someone else, or some other past circumstance, will keep the blamer in that place. 

• Perfect is good. – Every one of us can be a perfectionist about something.  Learn to work out when your desire to make something perfect is advancing you, or preventing you from achieving what you ultimately want. It is better to say, this needs to last for 2/5/20 or 50 years, so you can move on to something else.

• Look for the truth. – Personal transformation and growth can be remarkably rewarding, but only when the process of change is based on your honesty and truth, as you see it.  When you’re not being authentic somewhere in your life or with someone in your life, it leads to anger and frustration with one party or the other.

• Be alert to new ideas and perspectives. – To make real progress you must let go of the assumption that you already have all the answers.  You can listen to others, learn from them, and successfully work with them even though you may not agree with every opinion they have.

• Avoid negative people who try to cover you with garbage. – It’s a lot easier for many to be negative than positive –and a lot easier to be critical than consider a possibility.  When you’re embarking on a new venture,your old associates may be happy enough in their pond, so instead of listening to the critics that will try to contain you, spend time talking to some of people in this world who are willing to support your efforts and acknowledge your potential, respectfully.

• Come up with a different story. – Forget what everyone else thinks of you; chances are, they aren’t thinking about you that often anyhow, if they are it will be helpful to avoid their control.  You do hopefully evaluate yourself by telling yourself a story inside of your head.  Create a positive or different narrative about your life that includes only the circumstances that matter. Look for a good mentor to copy their techniques. Jim Rohn, Les Brown, and Morgana Rae are good ones to start with. (Some links below)

• Evaluate reality –  Remind yourself that not everything is meant to be, and you can accept this. Only 1 in 300 people are worth your long term association, and the other 299 are in the world too, do not expect them to act or think like you - they wont.

• Expect things to be fun, not easy. – Easy things are good, a flow of, or pattern of results that go your way is the better aim. Many an old alcoholic woman, or grumpy old man are still waiting and expecting the easy life.

• Help others, a little too. –At some stage you may like the help they return you, it is a lot better than them not helping or cutting you down. Watch out for the 'sociopaths' or sharks and con-men and women. So give a little and get a fair exchange, or move on.

• Take small steps each day. – It is far more productive to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a giant leap only to stumble and fall and never get up again.  The path to every goal requires a number of small steps.  Figure out where you want to go, take a step, and keep on going, then keep on going again.  Reasonable honest effort and persistence with adapting approaches is the answer.

Easy Exercises to get the results.

• 1--Choose one area in your life that you want to improve, and then in private, and then put the writings only where you know: get a nice leather journal from Amazon;

• 2--Write down the specific details about your current circumstances.  (What’s bothering you?  What’s wrong?  What do you want to change? Focus on the what - not the Who.)

• 3--Write down your answer to this question: What maybe are the daily actions that have contributed to your current circumstances?  (What might you be doing that contributes to the situation you’re in?)

• 4--Write down the specific details about your ideal circumstances.  (What would make you happy?  

• 5--What does your ideal situation look like?

• 6--Write down your answer to this question:  What is the next one thing that will get you from where you are to where you want to be?  (Think about it.  What small, daily steps will help you move forward?)

• 7--Start now, it can be a phone call or two, a notebook, or one exercise.

• 8--Put the list/s away for the week, and tomorrow do the next step

• 9--Each lunchtime meditate or visualize your ideal for a few minutes, keep doing one or maybe two new things to get you closer to your goal. Keep it quiet- 'zip the lips' as a friend says.

• 10--Each and every night, think about three things that you want to accomplish tomorrow, write down how long they will take, what prep will help, and write them down.  When you wake up in the morning look over the list, and then take the first step.  If you find yourself being lured to do something that’s not on that short list of three things, bring yourself back and focus. It is your list, and your life.

• 11--Appreciate the change in you, and your life as it develops.

• 12--At the end of the 7 days, take out your list, and rewrite a new one, based on that one, get ready for a fun week next week.

• 13--Do it again this week, and so on - the results for you will be very good, very quickly - so long as you keep going with possibility thinking and adaption - guaranteed.

• 14-- Look back each 4 weeks to see where you have come, and what you can do to get closer to that pot of gold at the end of your rainbow.

 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

The Tarot helps - use it; - used as it is meant to be, it is another tool in your magic chest for getting what you want in life. It does make it easier for you.



Live Tarot readers for you today.


Desktop Tarot, books, cards and more - for you and your friends.



Award-Winning Tarot Cards, Kits, Books from The New World's trusted source.









 pic courtesy of bare maidens

How Can I Be More Convincing and Get Anything I Want?

Thinking about getting what I want

One of the most common manipulative techniques is what psychologists call the "fear-then-relief technique."

The technique focuses on a person's emotions. Here, the manipulator causes someone a great deal of stress or anxiety and then abruptly relieves that stress.

After this sudden mood swing, the person is disarmed, and less likely to make mindful or rational decisions, and more likely to respond positively to various requests.

Some examples in popular culture are;-

• The promotion of war - look out for the enemy - they are bad (they probably are to some degree as well) - we are here to save you, come and work for us (volunteer) for a promised possible reward- which you will end up as a slave/lender yourself.

• Insurance companies sales, and advertising - give us your earned money and we'll pay out if a disaster hits you - (so long as you meet all the other 15 + conditions, you are a low risk, and we can spare the money at the time).

• Global warming - look it is 'real', all of these scientists say so, and it is on TV - all of the beautiful out of the way holiday or vacation destinations need the scientists, journalists,(and your most unfavorite politicians, and support crew), to stay there studying it - while you work in the office or factory being unable to go on vacation. All true.

• They are all out to get you - come and join us - our group will protect you - many a cult uses this while they strip you of your identity/life/money, then discard you or encourages you to convert the newcomers.

 This fear-then-relief manipulation technique is most popularly portrayed on TV, and by the lower quality cop or government employee in real life - in the classic bad cop/good cop routine: one person frightens and scares you, another saves you, and then you're more willing to hand over information, time, money.

You see this in your everyday life, too - with unskilled managers or people who suggest your job or security is on the line, backtrack, and then say we need to work overtime, as they leave for a long lunch, or maximize their time off at your expense.
Or domestic abusers, who threaten their close ones, hoping they can control their world.

  It is usually more 'effective' when there is more than one factor of threat that can effect the person, or they or their close friends have been in a similar event.

Being such a common technique, if used with a genuine promise in the here and now, or an actually helpful result to the end user - (not the manipulator) - it is accepted and successful.

The secret is that, for you to use it, giving the other party what they thought was a fair reward, being aware of it, and protecting yourself. As much as most of us wish for longer, and many esoterics try to sell us - life time in the now is valuable to you, and limited.


Making You Feel Guilty: Social Exchange 
Another common strategy used mostly by unethical marketers, government agencies, con artists, and gangsters is social exchange. Offering of a favor to happen in the future - it wont happen - or a $5- $500 gift in return for a lifetime of donations from you. The item was free to them, or they or their associates will get it back off you later.
The classic example is - take a loan - house mortgage out with us, and we'll give you cash, blankets or a big screen TV when you are approved and start paying us.
Sorry to say, this has been factored in the earnings of the lender - much like the indigenous tribes of many countries being deceived out of their lifetime use of their land with a few colored blankets, and trinkets.

An everyday example: A co-worker or 'friend' will dramatically remind you about that time they bailed you out big time in the past, then use that as leverage every time he/she needs something. Or someone who loaned you money or knows a secret of yours could continually blackmail you into doing what they want.

Short term trinkets that are fashionable are very appealing to most people, and they will quickly hand over their long term assets - be it land or time to the more aware person who has a long term plan.

Priming You With a Small Request: The Foot-in-the-Door Technique

This technique is subtle, and simple. With the foot-in-the-door method, someone asks you to do a very small and easy request, like a survey, or some small actions for a few dollars, and then follows up with the real request.

Everyday example: A panhandler or street person who asks you for the time, then asks you to spare some change. They will then hold out their hand for a moment longer as if to say is that all? More please, I need to buy ???
Or rewarding a dog with a small treat, so it will always bring in the newspaper for example - treats or no more treats - just a thankyou pat.

By getting you to say yes to one request, you're more likely to say yes to a second one, much like the pet dog.

Reciprocation, is how humanity functions as a whole - which is partly why stealing/fraud is punished for most of us. 

If both parties are getting what they consider is 'fair', it works wonderfully - most genuinely successful people make a 'sandwich' out of it; a small offering once, twice, three times - then the larger request being fulfilled - followed by some small things unexpected once, twice, three times.

Avoiding These Manipulations

• In all walks of life, there are overly self-focused people - it is not so much not falling victim to them. Yet more, keeping them out of your life, and valuing your life, sharing what you want to share with them only.

• Nearly every manipulator uses emotions and emotional transference, so whenever you feel a surge in  emotions. You're more vulnerable at that time to do things unconsciously and at the suggestion of others.  The cheapest for the advertiser/manipulator is this general formula: [Something terrible] could have happened to you, but it [didn't/won't]. [Now do this]. It only costs you -$x down.

• Life is full of it when you look, and some very pseudo-wealthy people seem greatly skilled at it.

The idea for you is to be aware of the long term for you, and avoid giving away the short term, for the future. The sandwich idea above will bring you the greatest rewards - more so than most.

 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

The Seriously Wealthy - How come they have got more than me? Is it the way they choose?

Choosing your self belief or image of yourself

What is the difference between success and failure? - Especially when you see so many seemingly horrible or selfish people with wealth.

Mostly, it is a focus on the importance of that idea,or desire, and an unconscious self belief that they are 'entitled' to have.

Now this is a good attribute you must have,- one would draw the line at the 'narcissists' of the world, and of course those that damage others to get results for their ego.

To find a level of contentment or appreciation in things as they are in the moment, is indeed the true mark of success.

Now generally any approach or response will bring you results.  Something like 'The Law of Attraction' in the real world, with real people.

The important thing to consider is noticing the activity (or inactivity), and the result or results this does bring us.

A list follows of some of the actions - habits, and one offs, that are choices of the let's call them the 'winners' in the game of reality.


Read through them, noticing the ones you are going to work on in your life to markedly improve it.

• To eventually succeed, a continually adaptable plan is acted on.

• Look for success along the way. Increments are as important as at the finish line.

• To make a difference somehow in some form attracts more benefits to you and everyone else. 

• Winners create belief systems that others follow, rather than being subservient to another's plan for their life.

• Winners earn respect, which is a value orientated determination, from themselves and secondly others.

• Instead of seeing all the puddles in the way, and then falling into one. Winners look around for the solution, that gives value to others as well.

•  To review options, is good, yet action is rewarded. Winners act on decisions.

•  Winners add up all their small victories, to a continuum of a total picture.

•  To expect certain outcomes, and be prepared to deal with the unexpected.

•  Winners are paid for their results, as well as being paid for their time.

• Winners build things. Losers buy fashionable items. (The popular Robert Kiyosaki books are a good help here).

•  Winners see things they don’t understand and get curious.

•  Winners communicate, and share what is important.

• Winners make things happen, they actually make some moves to the goal posts.

• Winners help others get ahead too. Losers want to get ahead of others, being insecure or weak within.

• Winners limit their time with the worst of the losers, knowing they would prefer not to catch their flu.

• Losers label themselves as experts. Be careful of the noise, sometimes the loudest most flashy car for example, does not win the race. Winners know there is still much to learn in the real world.

• Winners over-deliver and negotiate agreeably. Losers over-sell not by enthusiasm, but by deceptive intent, they do manipulate.

• Winners smile from within. Losers frown, roll their eyes, smirk and other controlling facial tics.

• Winners realize the way they work brings opportunity to them. The way of the Wyrd. Losers think winners are lotto lucky.

•  Winners define their own success, creating fashions and others definitions of success.

• Winners face fears in realistic ways. Losers escape fears in the range of chemicals on offer.

• Winners use their free time (learning or experiencing something new). Losers waste their free time (watching TV). You can learn from TV, do be definite about what you want to learn, then if is safe go and try it out in the real world.

• Winners see constant familiarity as a risk. Think a pleasant bubbling stream or brook has better fish, water, and plants in it - than a many year stagnant pond Losers see the unknown as a risk. .

• Winners live life now based on lessons learned in the past, selling to the aforementioned losers.

Your mission is to go back and be aware of these points, being careful of the parasites and sharks;- and one by one, a week at a time change them to be the positive assets that will bring you long term success.






 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

more pics at Bare maidens

The habits of Being poor - definitions of failure prone people - My poverty or wealth?

The train of life

We all ask it at different times What is the difference between failing and success - be it wealth, relationships, or even health?

 Any approach or response will bring you results. The important thing to consider is noticing the activity (or inactivity), and the result or results this does bring us.

Something like 'The Law of Attraction' in the real world, with real people.

Many people find comfort in their place in life in no matter how damaging it is, and just to be clear, to find a level of contentment or appreciation in things as they are in the moment, is the true mark of success.

The dividing lines are where damage is pending, or happening in real terms. Something like sitting on the railroad tracks having a picnic - will a train come or not?
Do not do this - it is a metaphor or mind picture story to help you recognize that actions/in-actions may not have the ideal effect or result you wanted in your life.

A list follows of some of the actions - repeating, and one offs, that are choices of the let's call them 'failures' of the world, or losers in the game of reality.


Read through them, noticing the ones you are going to work on in your life to markedly improve it.

• Losers fail once and quit, use it as a war story and remain stuck, unable to eventually succeed.

• Losers look for success at the finish line, rather than along the way.

• Losers work to make money, which is good - yet to make a difference somehow as well is the ideal.

• Losers seek, and demand respect. Think of the errant judge, or the loudmouth you know.
• Winners earn respect, which is a value orientated determination.

•  Losers stare at the problem, like seeing all the puddles in the way, and then falling in one. Winners look around for the solution, that gives value to others as well.

•  Losers review options, sometimes for years. Winners act on decisions.

•  Losers attempt to conquer the world in one shot. Winners add up all their small victories.

•  Losers expect certain outcomes. Winners prepare themselves as well for the unexpected.

•  Losers are paid for their time, which is good, yet Winners are paid for their results.

•  Losers buy things. (The popular Robert Kiyosaki books are a good help here). Winners build things.

•  Losers see things they don’t understand and rubbish them. Winners see things they don’t understand and get curious.

•  Losers talk, gossip, abuse, and question to reduce another's value. Winners communicate, and share what is important.

•  Losers let things happen. Winners make things happen, they actually make some moves to the goal posts.

• Losers want to get ahead of others, being insecure or weak within. Winners help others get ahead too.

• Losers hangout with losers. Winners limit their time with the worst of the losers, knowing they would prefer not to catch their flu.

• Losers label themselves as experts. Be careful of the noise, sometimes the loudest most flashy car for example, does not win the race. Winners know there is still much to learn.

• Losers over-sell not by enthusiasm, but by deceptive intent, they do manipulate. Winners over-deliver and negotiate agreeably.

• Losers frown, roll their eyes, smirk and other controlling facial tics. Winners smile from within.

• Losers think winners are lotto lucky. Winners realize the way they work brings opportunity to them.

• Losers follow other people’s fashions and definitions of success. Winners define their own success.

• Losers escape fears in the range of chemicals on offer. Winners face fears in realistic ways.

• Losers waste their free time (watching TV). Winners use their free time (learning or experiencing something new). You can learn from TV, do be definite about what you want to learn, then if is safe go and try it out in the real world.

• Losers see the unknown as a risk. Winners see constant familiarity as a risk. Think a pleasant bubbling stream or brook has better fish, water, and plants in it - than a many year stagnant pond.

• Losers live in the past.

• Winners live life now based on lessons learned in the past, selling to the aforementioned losers.

Don't get too despondent - Some of the losers of the world have ingratiated themselves to seem successful.
No one really teaches these ideas to their children, and most administration or government employees or agents are in fact failure orientated.

Your mission is to go back and be aware of these points, being careful of the parasites and sharks;- and one by one, a week at a time change them to be the positive assets that will bring you long term success.


 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

How Women can Enhance their Credibility as Leaders. 23 Tips and resources.

To be valued and successful

Whether at work, church, home or out socially.

To be respected, listened to, and being able to lead the situation in a successful direction, brings superb rewards.

23 Tips and links for Women to Enhance their Credibility as Leaders. 

 

1-Think like a coach, not a controller; - buy, study and read- all the books by John Wooden

2-Give realistic positive, feedback. Aim for the possibility thinking style, and leave the red pen alone. Many a dictator has used the negative - and they have all been replaced, violently in most cases.

3-When coaching women, give the critical feedback first, followed by a positive directive statement.

4-Communicate ideas in a concise, focused manner. Considering each parties benefits, and beliefs.

5-Dress to suit the situation only - you have more value to offer than your body. In fact if this is what you display or flaunt, it indicates your lack of self value, and maybe your value to the world.

6-Do reduce visual distraction and err on the side of conservative, - rethink the bling.

7-Choose your makeup and fragrances very carefully, and be clean in hygiene and dress.

8-Use and choose effective and supportive footwear, your feet do dictate your body energy.

9-Make authentic non seductive eye contact. Focus on the people at hand.

10-Ensure your body language is self assured, not sexy, nor of subservience, acquiescence, or even overt superiority.

11-Watch the tone of voice, the barbie, or baby doll will bring you NO long term favours.

12-Think and talk about the future, as it applies to the situation, and stick to the issues at hand.

13-Leave the curses, and dramatic statements in the gutter, so you manage to stay out of it.

14-Associate mostly with other women, who are either on the same level or better. Your 'friends' will either follow, or you will make more supportive ones.

15-Clean your surroundings, your room, car, house or desk. No need to be over the top, just be noticeably tidy and clean. This habit gets assessed often.

16-Stay open to learning - even the whale will learn from its trusted peers and environment.

17-Take a course say - Udemy online, or Online Courses AU.- cheaper than a university, and you can do it in your own home. Pick one you really would like, pay for it and start.
Make it known - tactfully, that you are doing the course, and finish it.

18-Treat your mind as a royal garden, restrict the bad stuff (sadly most of hollywood and the mass media)
Use them for your benefit, not you be subject to theirs.

19-Study nutrition;- white rice, chocolate, biscuits, or McDonalds, are not the best choices for long term success or performance, as many a pancreatic cancer victim will attest.

20-The old studies of Weston Price, Jack Bragg, and the WW1, and WW2 dietary manuals are a good start. Buy the books, and take up, and stay with the practices.

21-Buy a juicer, some clean foods to go in it, and use it each day.

22-Buy a water filter and use it, chlorine, fluoride and the other water treatments are used to kill living organisms in your water. Long term on you - they cause cellular adaption = cancer, and nutritive diseases. The best; - a Water for Life USA water Ionizer - it works like your smart-phone.

23-Exercise a little each day, it is cheaper than anti-anxiety drugs, improves your sex life, makes you more attractive, and brings you a feeling of control over your life.

The aim for you is to live a long healthy, happy life. 

 

 

Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Grow yourself online in the privacy of your own home




Live Tarot readers - to find a new direction - for you today.
 


 

Getting money to leave your situation. Be it a bad boss, place or relationship

Alone and looking out for the danger

Many times we are either stuck in place, or being held in a bad place or relationship by our own mistakes or a controlling person.

A few dollars or shekels reluctantly handed over at times, when we are at the end of our tether.

Many pseudo-wealthy use this technique to maximize their control (abuse), just within the margins of the law.

Like the pseudo-wealthy, there is not much use bringing someone to account while they are doing it, unless you can invoke an authority they will listen to - (it doesn't have to be yours, and is better if it isn't really.)

Seriously, we must extricate ourselves (get out of the bad place), and prevent it happening again to us.


Both domestic abusers, and bad bosses or employers do give away their tendencies early on.

Yet for now we must re-establish ourselves.....

6 Ways to Be Financially Independent From a Controlling person

Don’t lose hope.

Keep trying. If you’ve been with a controlling husband or wife or partner – or importantly - a critical person – for a long time, you may feel hopeless. This is their plan, to make you feel inadequate so they won't lose you. In psychology, your perception is called 'learned helplessness.' You may believe you’ll never learn how to become financially independent because your abuser keeps telling you that you need them to survive, and in some way/s you are not good enough. Don’t lose hope! Remember that others have got out of these sort of situations too. You Must Leave these people - they will replace you with a better deal on a whim.

Remember that; interdependence' is more a help here than 'independence'

Interdependence means you’re part of a community that supports each other. This community might be a neighbor, a workplace, a book club, a walking or gardening group, somewhere you can have a clear thinking space. Note - not a conversational pity party, or verbal bashing place - negative realism is good,- forward action is what will help you most. When you’re learning how to become financially independent in a controlling situation, focus on finding a network or community of people that you can rely on – and who can rely on you. Do connect with others, be interdependent, even for a short while.

Find people who found financial independence themselves

The best way to learn how to become financially independent with you’re in a controlling relationship, or situation is to connect with others who have 'Been There, Done That.'
They may be able to guide you in the right direction. DO NOT use a banker, lawyer, or their associates, as your mentor or guide. Those groups are there to do what you tell them to do, and they will only work for their advantage - not yours - ever.
Try for an honest business man or woman, with some years of experience, or a trusted Rabbi or priest.

Humble yourself

It’s very difficult for most productive people to ask for financial help. Applying for government assistance, researching housing allowances for single parents with children, or similar - finding ways to support yourself is a humbling (or worse) experience. It need only be temporary, and you can pay it back in the future, in real form or volunteering. If it is restart to a more productive life - you can justify it to yourself.

LISTEN to financial advice about how you handle money

If you aren’t a financially independent now, maybe you were never taught how to handle money or balance a budget. Maybe you enjoy spending money, as most of us do; – and think -- maybe you married a controlling partner so you had an external source of structure.

Again, the successful impartial honest - business person or religious minister, may be your best source of advice - do avoid government sponsored programs, unless you get to deal with a very old retired adviser with a positive empathetic attitude. Like the lawyers, bankers, etc the government programs are there for their benefit, not yours at all.

Be a burden

"I have no family support and I don’t want to burden anyone,"..... "I want out of this marriage/relationship/job so bad, but I don’t have the money to leave. She/He knows I can’t make it on my own financially, and they always want me to pay something so I have no money left from my paycheck."
This is unbelievably common - as if it is a standard operations procedure taught to abusers - and we are so often led into this place.

No normal person wants to be a burden on their kids, friends, family, or coworkers! But on occasion you can succeed a lot easier with getting help from others. You will return the favor in the future, right?
Again be very suspicious of the bankers, mortgage, or finance brokers - avoid them in fact, they are there to further their own aims, not yours. A temporary written agreement that you repay as soon as you can, between friends etc., is always better.

Financial independence will cost you time, energy, resolve, humility, and focus. But the rewards are really worth it!

Be Aware now, and once you 'escape,' always have a reserve of even survival money - unknown, and usually untouchable - you can have it all over the world nowadays - so long as it is tax paid money, and ownership proven - it is legal and moral to do so - do keep it out of the public view.
Feel free to contact us in confidence to know how.




Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple...

  Patricia Evan's books:- Recognizing and dealing with verbal abuse. (buy and read them all!)

 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.



Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -

I have No energy for life - Is my friend A Bad friend? and How do you know?

Associates determined to help you or themselves?

11 Signs Someone in your life-space is Toxic to You.

Some people will complicate your life. Either by their own habits, or mostly to fill their own lives with some value.

These people are not helpful in your quest for a good, if not better life.

Time slips away as they draw you in to their world, and you deal with their issues, and as you take a step back, you wonder why you feel so drained.

This is the definition of a toxic person, one to avoid, or protect yourself against. If these actions are repetitive, or damaging to you - that is the true indicator.

Figuring out What a Toxic person is by their actions/in-actions.

1-They drain you. – You feel psychologically and emotionally depleted after spending time with them, instead of uplifted.  

2-They are not supportive. – You choose not to tell them about new, important aspects of your life because they’ve been un-supportive or demeaning about your ideas in the past.

3-They are up to no good. – They regularly partake in activities that are against human norms.

4-Their values and interests are opposite to your own. – Dissimilar value systems doesn’t necessarily mean the other person is wrong, it just means they aren’t right for you, at this moment in time.

5-They are often unreliable. – They break their promises sometimes, or does it feel like they lie to maintain control. If they are consistent in their untruths - choose to limit your exposure to that part of their life.

6-They aren’t meeting you a little way. – If you are always the one calling your friend to make plans and going out of your way to be with them, do bring up a solution, if that doesn't work after a few times - find out why.

7-They are jealous of you or others. – Jealousy is:  "I want what you have and I will take it away from you."

8-They have zero ambition. – Beware; a lack of ambition can be contagious. They probably need to be given a lot of security - can you afford this?? 

9-They constantly drive you to moments of insanity. – Another power and control technique - especially used by domestic abusers - women mostly, they are trying to be seen as the perfect one - and set you up for a fall.

10-They talk about others - or other groups in a black and white demeaning way. A lot of groups are not good, and avoidable e.g. politicians, some government agencies - yet to talk about the others, without concrete actions indicates a manipulative personality.

11-They threaten you or your valued things, achievements - Something similar to the jealousy or envy- they are unable or unwilling to do things for themselves, so they will reduce what is yours to make themselves appear valuable to the world. These ones particularly are unsaveable - dispose of them by whatever means possible - within the law.

How to End a Toxic Relationship or Friendship

If you still want to or have to allow this person in your life, just to a lesser degree:

Stop responding to fake crisis calls. – Don’t drop everything and offer to help all the time. Suggest they can deal with it, and move on with your own day.

Take positive control of negative conversations. – It’s okay to change the direction of the conversation to something better in their world.

Demonstrate that you won’t be insulted or belittled. – Say something like, "I know how it must be for you....I have to go now."

Be reasonably honest. – That means with reason (play nice), not partly as in half truth. Some people really don’t consciously recognize their own tendencies or their inconsiderate behavior. They can be shown what verbalizations or actions do get them good results for them. Your fair and tactful honesty may ensure that any future is built on mutually beneficial ground.

If you just want to completely end your relationship with the person in question;

Stop taking their calls completely. – If you’re stuck seeing them on a regular basis, like a coworker, keep things on a 100% professional level alone.  Find a reason to leave and excuse yourself as needed.

Firmly tell them you’ve had enough. – If you’ve decided it’s time to cut a truly toxic influence out of your life, you can let them know honestly (without being cruel).  “I just can’t be friends with you right now” isn’t fun to hear, but it has the benefit of putting everybody on the same page.

Make new friends worth having. –Give your time to friends you connect with and enjoy.  The long shadows of toxic friends shrink considerably when you’ve got better things to do with your time than worry about their negativity.

If they are a real pain - go and read the toxic people post, then come back here.

Finally, Be a Good Friend

It is a good start to cut toxic people out of your life, yet you can easily get quality friendships if you want them. Not all of the 17 billion people in the world are bad, there are a few good ones out there.

Part of the responsibility is with you to maintain and direct the partnership in the way that makes both of your lives better. And for you to begin to take control of your own life direction.





Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple...

  Patricia Evan's books:- Recognizing and dealing with verbal abuse. (buy and read them all!)

 

 'The Dangerous Woman'  or  'Venus the dark side'  -- Both Highly recommended reads

 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.







Become Self Assertive, and more a Confident you, from today with -

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Assertiveness training, stress handling techniques by the world famous David Bonham-Carter.

Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition