My Self Esteem,- Daily Habits and thought patterns of failure or success.

Casting of the spells maiden

Rituals or habits do define you. Many times we have seemingly woken up from a slumber, and found ourselves in a place we never thought we would be, whether it is a dead end job, bad relationship or bad place, the resulting thought is the same. How did this happen to me? Or how can I get out of this?
There must be more!    Apart from the ever increasing noise from the mass media, which encourages cognitive dissonance - a not happy with this - so buy this mentality.

The changing of our thought patterns to that of possibility thinking, is hopefully the initiative and an answer.

It is one of the answers - read below to find the rest of the habits that are guaranteed to change your life as you know it today-

• Change something and get different results. – It is better to change your reaction, or really response to events to get a different result. If you are making a cake, the end enjoyment comes from the ingredients you put in, and how you deal with them. Take one thing in your day, and come up with a different approach, and apply it for a week every day, and see what begins to happen.

• Waiting for the right time is good if you are prepared. –Don't wait to win the lottery, you might, yet you might starve in the meantime. Start learning the paths of success, and prepare yourself - someone said - for life's great adventure. Most of the time you must dare to jump when you have the opening or chance. If really feel that you want to start with some paid education - Udemy online  is a good place.

• Your planning and focus are on the way. – Planning is easy; just as you plan your clothes dressing before going out, formulate a pattern that works for you - it can just be a 60-second process.  Here is an idea:- Every night, think about three  things that you want to accomplish tomorrow, write down how long they will take, what prep will help, and write them down.  When you wake up in the morning look over the list, and then take the first step.  If you find yourself being lured to do something that’s not on that short list of three things, bring yourself back and focus. It is your list, and your life.

• Accept necessary risks. – Avoid unnecessary risks, they a huge waste of time. Yet living is about learning as you go, you can make adjustments and carry on with your life, looking back and congratulating yourself on handling that.

• The rejections of yesterday were learning experiences of the world yesterday. –Believing that you CAN is important, and this is what any domestic abuser will try to change. You learnt to walk or move, so you can learn to be in a better place for yourself. Yesterdays rejections means the other person or circumstance didn't suit us at the time.  It means we have more time to improve ourselves – to perfect our approach, and to build upon our ideas or skills.

• Take responsibility. – Not any or every event in your life is your fault, but they are all your responsibility.  Positively taking some responsibility for your situation, and mostly for your path forward can change everything.  Leave the unchangeable past/people behind you as you allow yourself to focus on the present moment.  Negatively blaming someone else, or some other past circumstance, will keep the blamer in that place. 

• Perfect is good. – Every one of us can be a perfectionist about something.  Learn to work out when your desire to make something perfect is advancing you, or preventing you from achieving what you ultimately want. It is better to say, this needs to last for 2/5/20 or 50 years, so you can move on to something else.

• Look for the truth. – Personal transformation and growth can be remarkably rewarding, but only when the process of change is based on your honesty and truth, as you see it.  When you’re not being authentic somewhere in your life or with someone in your life, it leads to anger and frustration with one party or the other.

• Be alert to new ideas and perspectives. – To make real progress you must let go of the assumption that you already have all the answers.  You can listen to others, learn from them, and successfully work with them even though you may not agree with every opinion they have.

• Avoid negative people who try to cover you with garbage. – It’s a lot easier for many to be negative than positive –and a lot easier to be critical than consider a possibility.  When you’re embarking on a new venture,your old associates may be happy enough in their pond, so instead of listening to the critics that will try to contain you, spend time talking to some of people in this world who are willing to support your efforts and acknowledge your potential, respectfully.

• Come up with a different story. – Forget what everyone else thinks of you; chances are, they aren’t thinking about you that often anyhow, if they are it will be helpful to avoid their control.  You do hopefully evaluate yourself by telling yourself a story inside of your head.  Create a positive or different narrative about your life that includes only the circumstances that matter. Look for a good mentor to copy their techniques. Jim Rohn, Les Brown, and Morgana Rae are good ones to start with. (Some links below)

• Evaluate reality –  Remind yourself that not everything is meant to be, and you can accept this. Only 1 in 300 people are worth your long term association, and the other 299 are in the world too, do not expect them to act or think like you - they wont.

• Expect things to be fun, not easy. – Easy things are good, a flow of, or pattern of results that go your way is the better aim. Many an old alcoholic woman, or grumpy old man are still waiting and expecting the easy life.

• Help others, a little too. –At some stage you may like the help they return you, it is a lot better than them not helping or cutting you down. Watch out for the 'sociopaths' or sharks and con-men and women. So give a little and get a fair exchange, or move on.

• Take small steps each day. – It is far more productive to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a giant leap only to stumble and fall and never get up again.  The path to every goal requires a number of small steps.  Figure out where you want to go, take a step, and keep on going, then keep on going again.  Reasonable honest effort and persistence with adapting approaches is the answer.

Easy Exercises to get the results.

• 1--Choose one area in your life that you want to improve, and then in private, and then put the writings only where you know: get a nice leather journal from Amazon;

• 2--Write down the specific details about your current circumstances.  (What’s bothering you?  What’s wrong?  What do you want to change? Focus on the what - not the Who.)

• 3--Write down your answer to this question: What maybe are the daily actions that have contributed to your current circumstances?  (What might you be doing that contributes to the situation you’re in?)

• 4--Write down the specific details about your ideal circumstances.  (What would make you happy?  

• 5--What does your ideal situation look like?

• 6--Write down your answer to this question:  What is the next one thing that will get you from where you are to where you want to be?  (Think about it.  What small, daily steps will help you move forward?)

• 7--Start now, it can be a phone call or two, a notebook, or one exercise.

• 8--Put the list/s away for the week, and tomorrow do the next step

• 9--Each lunchtime meditate or visualize your ideal for a few minutes, keep doing one or maybe two new things to get you closer to your goal. Keep it quiet- 'zip the lips' as a friend says.

• 10--Each and every night, think about three things that you want to accomplish tomorrow, write down how long they will take, what prep will help, and write them down.  When you wake up in the morning look over the list, and then take the first step.  If you find yourself being lured to do something that’s not on that short list of three things, bring yourself back and focus. It is your list, and your life.

• 11--Appreciate the change in you, and your life as it develops.

• 12--At the end of the 7 days, take out your list, and rewrite a new one, based on that one, get ready for a fun week next week.

• 13--Do it again this week, and so on - the results for you will be very good, very quickly - so long as you keep going with possibility thinking and adaption - guaranteed.

• 14-- Look back each 4 weeks to see where you have come, and what you can do to get closer to that pot of gold at the end of your rainbow.

 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

The Tarot helps - use it; - used as it is meant to be, it is another tool in your magic chest for getting what you want in life. It does make it easier for you.



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 pic courtesy of bare maidens

How Can I Be More Convincing and Get Anything I Want?

Thinking about getting what I want

One of the most common manipulative techniques is what psychologists call the "fear-then-relief technique."

The technique focuses on a person's emotions. Here, the manipulator causes someone a great deal of stress or anxiety and then abruptly relieves that stress.

After this sudden mood swing, the person is disarmed, and less likely to make mindful or rational decisions, and more likely to respond positively to various requests.

Some examples in popular culture are;-

• The promotion of war - look out for the enemy - they are bad (they probably are to some degree as well) - we are here to save you, come and work for us (volunteer) for a promised possible reward- which you will end up as a slave/lender yourself.

• Insurance companies sales, and advertising - give us your earned money and we'll pay out if a disaster hits you - (so long as you meet all the other 15 + conditions, you are a low risk, and we can spare the money at the time).

• Global warming - look it is 'real', all of these scientists say so, and it is on TV - all of the beautiful out of the way holiday or vacation destinations need the scientists, journalists,(and your most unfavorite politicians, and support crew), to stay there studying it - while you work in the office or factory being unable to go on vacation. All true.

• They are all out to get you - come and join us - our group will protect you - many a cult uses this while they strip you of your identity/life/money, then discard you or encourages you to convert the newcomers.

 This fear-then-relief manipulation technique is most popularly portrayed on TV, and by the lower quality cop or government employee in real life - in the classic bad cop/good cop routine: one person frightens and scares you, another saves you, and then you're more willing to hand over information, time, money.

You see this in your everyday life, too - with unskilled managers or people who suggest your job or security is on the line, backtrack, and then say we need to work overtime, as they leave for a long lunch, or maximize their time off at your expense.
Or domestic abusers, who threaten their close ones, hoping they can control their world.

  It is usually more 'effective' when there is more than one factor of threat that can effect the person, or they or their close friends have been in a similar event.

Being such a common technique, if used with a genuine promise in the here and now, or an actually helpful result to the end user - (not the manipulator) - it is accepted and successful.

The secret is that, for you to use it, giving the other party what they thought was a fair reward, being aware of it, and protecting yourself. As much as most of us wish for longer, and many esoterics try to sell us - life time in the now is valuable to you, and limited.


Making You Feel Guilty: Social Exchange 
Another common strategy used mostly by unethical marketers, government agencies, con artists, and gangsters is social exchange. Offering of a favor to happen in the future - it wont happen - or a $5- $500 gift in return for a lifetime of donations from you. The item was free to them, or they or their associates will get it back off you later.
The classic example is - take a loan - house mortgage out with us, and we'll give you cash, blankets or a big screen TV when you are approved and start paying us.
Sorry to say, this has been factored in the earnings of the lender - much like the indigenous tribes of many countries being deceived out of their lifetime use of their land with a few colored blankets, and trinkets.

An everyday example: A co-worker or 'friend' will dramatically remind you about that time they bailed you out big time in the past, then use that as leverage every time he/she needs something. Or someone who loaned you money or knows a secret of yours could continually blackmail you into doing what they want.

Short term trinkets that are fashionable are very appealing to most people, and they will quickly hand over their long term assets - be it land or time to the more aware person who has a long term plan.

Priming You With a Small Request: The Foot-in-the-Door Technique

This technique is subtle, and simple. With the foot-in-the-door method, someone asks you to do a very small and easy request, like a survey, or some small actions for a few dollars, and then follows up with the real request.

Everyday example: A panhandler or street person who asks you for the time, then asks you to spare some change. They will then hold out their hand for a moment longer as if to say is that all? More please, I need to buy ???
Or rewarding a dog with a small treat, so it will always bring in the newspaper for example - treats or no more treats - just a thankyou pat.

By getting you to say yes to one request, you're more likely to say yes to a second one, much like the pet dog.

Reciprocation, is how humanity functions as a whole - which is partly why stealing/fraud is punished for most of us. 

If both parties are getting what they consider is 'fair', it works wonderfully - most genuinely successful people make a 'sandwich' out of it; a small offering once, twice, three times - then the larger request being fulfilled - followed by some small things unexpected once, twice, three times.

Avoiding These Manipulations

• In all walks of life, there are overly self-focused people - it is not so much not falling victim to them. Yet more, keeping them out of your life, and valuing your life, sharing what you want to share with them only.

• Nearly every manipulator uses emotions and emotional transference, so whenever you feel a surge in  emotions. You're more vulnerable at that time to do things unconsciously and at the suggestion of others.  The cheapest for the advertiser/manipulator is this general formula: [Something terrible] could have happened to you, but it [didn't/won't]. [Now do this]. It only costs you -$x down.

• Life is full of it when you look, and some very pseudo-wealthy people seem greatly skilled at it.

The idea for you is to be aware of the long term for you, and avoid giving away the short term, for the future. The sandwich idea above will bring you the greatest rewards - more so than most.

 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

The Seriously Wealthy - How come they have got more than me? Is it the way they choose?

Choosing your self belief or image of yourself

What is the difference between success and failure? - Especially when you see so many seemingly horrible or selfish people with wealth.

Mostly, it is a focus on the importance of that idea,or desire, and an unconscious self belief that they are 'entitled' to have.

Now this is a good attribute you must have,- one would draw the line at the 'narcissists' of the world, and of course those that damage others to get results for their ego.

To find a level of contentment or appreciation in things as they are in the moment, is indeed the true mark of success.

Now generally any approach or response will bring you results.  Something like 'The Law of Attraction' in the real world, with real people.

The important thing to consider is noticing the activity (or inactivity), and the result or results this does bring us.

A list follows of some of the actions - habits, and one offs, that are choices of the let's call them the 'winners' in the game of reality.


Read through them, noticing the ones you are going to work on in your life to markedly improve it.

• To eventually succeed, a continually adaptable plan is acted on.

• Look for success along the way. Increments are as important as at the finish line.

• To make a difference somehow in some form attracts more benefits to you and everyone else. 

• Winners create belief systems that others follow, rather than being subservient to another's plan for their life.

• Winners earn respect, which is a value orientated determination, from themselves and secondly others.

• Instead of seeing all the puddles in the way, and then falling into one. Winners look around for the solution, that gives value to others as well.

•  To review options, is good, yet action is rewarded. Winners act on decisions.

•  Winners add up all their small victories, to a continuum of a total picture.

•  To expect certain outcomes, and be prepared to deal with the unexpected.

•  Winners are paid for their results, as well as being paid for their time.

• Winners build things. Losers buy fashionable items. (The popular Robert Kiyosaki books are a good help here).

•  Winners see things they don’t understand and get curious.

•  Winners communicate, and share what is important.

• Winners make things happen, they actually make some moves to the goal posts.

• Winners help others get ahead too. Losers want to get ahead of others, being insecure or weak within.

• Winners limit their time with the worst of the losers, knowing they would prefer not to catch their flu.

• Losers label themselves as experts. Be careful of the noise, sometimes the loudest most flashy car for example, does not win the race. Winners know there is still much to learn in the real world.

• Winners over-deliver and negotiate agreeably. Losers over-sell not by enthusiasm, but by deceptive intent, they do manipulate.

• Winners smile from within. Losers frown, roll their eyes, smirk and other controlling facial tics.

• Winners realize the way they work brings opportunity to them. The way of the Wyrd. Losers think winners are lotto lucky.

•  Winners define their own success, creating fashions and others definitions of success.

• Winners face fears in realistic ways. Losers escape fears in the range of chemicals on offer.

• Winners use their free time (learning or experiencing something new). Losers waste their free time (watching TV). You can learn from TV, do be definite about what you want to learn, then if is safe go and try it out in the real world.

• Winners see constant familiarity as a risk. Think a pleasant bubbling stream or brook has better fish, water, and plants in it - than a many year stagnant pond Losers see the unknown as a risk. .

• Winners live life now based on lessons learned in the past, selling to the aforementioned losers.

Your mission is to go back and be aware of these points, being careful of the parasites and sharks;- and one by one, a week at a time change them to be the positive assets that will bring you long term success.






 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

more pics at Bare maidens

The habits of Being poor - definitions of failure prone people - My poverty or wealth?

The train of life

We all ask it at different times What is the difference between failing and success - be it wealth, relationships, or even health?

 Any approach or response will bring you results. The important thing to consider is noticing the activity (or inactivity), and the result or results this does bring us.

Something like 'The Law of Attraction' in the real world, with real people.

Many people find comfort in their place in life in no matter how damaging it is, and just to be clear, to find a level of contentment or appreciation in things as they are in the moment, is the true mark of success.

The dividing lines are where damage is pending, or happening in real terms. Something like sitting on the railroad tracks having a picnic - will a train come or not?
Do not do this - it is a metaphor or mind picture story to help you recognize that actions/in-actions may not have the ideal effect or result you wanted in your life.

A list follows of some of the actions - repeating, and one offs, that are choices of the let's call them 'failures' of the world, or losers in the game of reality.


Read through them, noticing the ones you are going to work on in your life to markedly improve it.

• Losers fail once and quit, use it as a war story and remain stuck, unable to eventually succeed.

• Losers look for success at the finish line, rather than along the way.

• Losers work to make money, which is good - yet to make a difference somehow as well is the ideal.

• Losers seek, and demand respect. Think of the errant judge, or the loudmouth you know.
• Winners earn respect, which is a value orientated determination.

•  Losers stare at the problem, like seeing all the puddles in the way, and then falling in one. Winners look around for the solution, that gives value to others as well.

•  Losers review options, sometimes for years. Winners act on decisions.

•  Losers attempt to conquer the world in one shot. Winners add up all their small victories.

•  Losers expect certain outcomes. Winners prepare themselves as well for the unexpected.

•  Losers are paid for their time, which is good, yet Winners are paid for their results.

•  Losers buy things. (The popular Robert Kiyosaki books are a good help here). Winners build things.

•  Losers see things they don’t understand and rubbish them. Winners see things they don’t understand and get curious.

•  Losers talk, gossip, abuse, and question to reduce another's value. Winners communicate, and share what is important.

•  Losers let things happen. Winners make things happen, they actually make some moves to the goal posts.

• Losers want to get ahead of others, being insecure or weak within. Winners help others get ahead too.

• Losers hangout with losers. Winners limit their time with the worst of the losers, knowing they would prefer not to catch their flu.

• Losers label themselves as experts. Be careful of the noise, sometimes the loudest most flashy car for example, does not win the race. Winners know there is still much to learn.

• Losers over-sell not by enthusiasm, but by deceptive intent, they do manipulate. Winners over-deliver and negotiate agreeably.

• Losers frown, roll their eyes, smirk and other controlling facial tics. Winners smile from within.

• Losers think winners are lotto lucky. Winners realize the way they work brings opportunity to them.

• Losers follow other people’s fashions and definitions of success. Winners define their own success.

• Losers escape fears in the range of chemicals on offer. Winners face fears in realistic ways.

• Losers waste their free time (watching TV). Winners use their free time (learning or experiencing something new). You can learn from TV, do be definite about what you want to learn, then if is safe go and try it out in the real world.

• Losers see the unknown as a risk. Winners see constant familiarity as a risk. Think a pleasant bubbling stream or brook has better fish, water, and plants in it - than a many year stagnant pond.

• Losers live in the past.

• Winners live life now based on lessons learned in the past, selling to the aforementioned losers.

Don't get too despondent - Some of the losers of the world have ingratiated themselves to seem successful.
No one really teaches these ideas to their children, and most administration or government employees or agents are in fact failure orientated.

Your mission is to go back and be aware of these points, being careful of the parasites and sharks;- and one by one, a week at a time change them to be the positive assets that will bring you long term success.


 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

How Women can Enhance their Credibility as Leaders. 23 Tips and resources.

To be valued and successful

Whether at work, church, home or out socially.

To be respected, listened to, and being able to lead the situation in a successful direction, brings superb rewards.

23 Tips and links for Women to Enhance their Credibility as Leaders. 

 

1-Think like a coach, not a controller; - buy, study and read- all the books by John Wooden

2-Give realistic positive, feedback. Aim for the possibility thinking style, and leave the red pen alone. Many a dictator has used the negative - and they have all been replaced, violently in most cases.

3-When coaching women, give the critical feedback first, followed by a positive directive statement.

4-Communicate ideas in a concise, focused manner. Considering each parties benefits, and beliefs.

5-Dress to suit the situation only - you have more value to offer than your body. In fact if this is what you display or flaunt, it indicates your lack of self value, and maybe your value to the world.

6-Do reduce visual distraction and err on the side of conservative, - rethink the bling.

7-Choose your makeup and fragrances very carefully, and be clean in hygiene and dress.

8-Use and choose effective and supportive footwear, your feet do dictate your body energy.

9-Make authentic non seductive eye contact. Focus on the people at hand.

10-Ensure your body language is self assured, not sexy, nor of subservience, acquiescence, or even overt superiority.

11-Watch the tone of voice, the barbie, or baby doll will bring you NO long term favours.

12-Think and talk about the future, as it applies to the situation, and stick to the issues at hand.

13-Leave the curses, and dramatic statements in the gutter, so you manage to stay out of it.

14-Associate mostly with other women, who are either on the same level or better. Your 'friends' will either follow, or you will make more supportive ones.

15-Clean your surroundings, your room, car, house or desk. No need to be over the top, just be noticeably tidy and clean. This habit gets assessed often.

16-Stay open to learning - even the whale will learn from its trusted peers and environment.

17-Take a course say - Udemy online, or Online Courses AU.- cheaper than a university, and you can do it in your own home. Pick one you really would like, pay for it and start.
Make it known - tactfully, that you are doing the course, and finish it.

18-Treat your mind as a royal garden, restrict the bad stuff (sadly most of hollywood and the mass media)
Use them for your benefit, not you be subject to theirs.

19-Study nutrition;- white rice, chocolate, biscuits, or McDonalds, are not the best choices for long term success or performance, as many a pancreatic cancer victim will attest.

20-The old studies of Weston Price, Jack Bragg, and the WW1, and WW2 dietary manuals are a good start. Buy the books, and take up, and stay with the practices.

21-Buy a juicer, some clean foods to go in it, and use it each day.

22-Buy a water filter and use it, chlorine, fluoride and the other water treatments are used to kill living organisms in your water. Long term on you - they cause cellular adaption = cancer, and nutritive diseases. The best; - a Water for Life USA water Ionizer - it works like your smart-phone.

23-Exercise a little each day, it is cheaper than anti-anxiety drugs, improves your sex life, makes you more attractive, and brings you a feeling of control over your life.

The aim for you is to live a long healthy, happy life. 

 

 

Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Grow yourself online in the privacy of your own home




Live Tarot readers - to find a new direction - for you today.
 


 

I hate my job! It feels like being in a briar patch-prickles and all....

A bed of perfumed roses, would be ideal, not what feels like a struggle every day, through a mass of brambles, complete with prickles and thorns. (A polite interpretation here).

If you are unhappy at work, it sometimes can feel like that; being in position of discomfort, where you hope each minute to escape somewhere better.

Sometimes you just have to get out, and find something more meaningful, something where you feel in sync with yourself, and maybe actually make a difference.
But getting out of these jobs is usually hard. Money often, social contacts and comfort at other times.

All that is significant:- especially if you need the job - for whichever reason.

A good plan is to do that, plan--take time out away from the distractions of life. Yes they are part of our lives,and do make things seem more bearable.
Ensure to do your planning in private, some of your workmates, no matter what they verbalize, will be happy with your downfall to their advantage.

The Guide to happiness in an unhappy place.

1. Think about, and write out why you’re unhappy, and ways to change initially the small things you can.

Writing it down and reviewing it, gives you the chance to measure positive change, as well as identify the starting points.

Rather than accepting your current situation “as-is,” be proactive and work toward improving it. Can you ask your boss for more challenging projects? Can you be transferred to a different division? What skills can you improve on? What education does this employment give you? What courses can you either run for the company, or that they'll send you on.

2. Change the story you tell yourself about your career: it may be time to diversify.
Most jobs or careers aren’t total rubbish. We often feel miserable because of the stories we tell ourselves about our job:- they can be a creation of your mind and are neither true nor false. (No matter what your 'friends', say).

A certain attitude is created when we create and repeat stories like- “I can’t stand this,” “This is awful,” or “I should be doing something else with my life.”
Another sort of attitude is created when you say- “I will continue working with this, toward a meaningful career... or ..What I’m doing right now is only temporary.”

3. Shift your perspective a little at a time - it’s a training ground, not a prison sentence.


It might seem like that, especially the way some people behave around us.

Throughout the world, there are lots of people who would be confused if you told them that you were miserable in your current job. They’re making a lot less money, while working longer hours, and often in far worse conditions. You want to avoid that scenario.
There is a story told by Zig Ziglar -that helps get through this.

4. Build meaning however you can.

You can always create meaning right where you are, now. While it may be easier for you to create meaning in some careers than others. Find one or two things that you like about you current job situation and focus your time and energy on those.

5. Connect your job to other values.

If you can’t find anything meaningful about your current job, then try connecting your job to other values.Of community, family, or development enhancement issues.


6. Focus on other parts of your life.

Accept that it will take time to move to a more meaningful career. And that for now, your work won’t be a primary source of meaning in your life. It may be the primary source of staying alive - yet not your ultimate life focus.

Build the best, most meaningful relationships that you can. Explore all different hobbies or explore one in-depth. Become involved in volunteer activities that allow you a sense of meaning. Increase your people association, in a positive way.

 You can make your future start now- without always waiting for a better future to arrive. A moving river creates it's path, a stagnant pond depends upon another force to grow.

Be the river, and move forward with a flow towards your ideal, it will work really easily for you.

“The rose bush is full of thorns:- be happy that the thorn bush has roses, feed it water it- and you get to enjoy it all.” 

                                Recommended link to help you now

pic courtesy of pdpnet- Lisa Martin

The ability to arouse our emotions either for good or bad is what really drives us

We can either do this for ourselves, or allow others to do it for - or
to us.


Your ability to use emotion to connect with others is something that will have a profound impact on your success in the world.

People are seeking connection, and  this is one of the most important things others generally desire. Their decision-making ability is based on emotions, and/or the seeking of that connection.

One of the biggest mistakes most of us make in our work or business, is thinking that being professional is enough. As well as the practical skills, an emotional connection and to allow another to  feel connected or heard

The more of a bond you create with others, the more you are likely to be employed, and the more you are likely to do well.

If people feel an emotional connection to you, they are likely to want to be around you.


A note in point - if someone is unable to connect with others emotionally, they will typically feel alone and isolated.

Connectivity is what every relationship is built upon. It’s getting in touch, feeling what the people you are with feel, seeing life the way they see it, and looking at the situation from their point of view.

 It’s about conveying to others that you appreciate what they’re doing and that they are of some value.


You can do this even if you do not like them,and what they are doing at that moment may not be of use;-

 Yet to them it is - so encourage them for what good they do.

As you must encourage and value you for the good you do.

pic courtesy of  www.public-domain-image.com

Why me, what am i doing to deserve this?

 Changing my life, to change my results.

 

Are you letting early interpretations of the world to shape and control your destiny? Most of us do, it seems only natural.

In fact. that is how our elders teach us to fit in to their world.

We need to take our experiences and frame them in a way that makes us stronger and makes life work for us. (As usual-within the terms of the law and mores of your society.)

Sometimes I think Mars or another habitable planet, would be a good idea, I would want to first there though, and to live forever.


Firstly, a story:-

“That’s impossible,” they said on the phone “She was found dead this morning in the office. She had been dead since Friday night.”
This was the beginning and the end of my crazy summer working for the government.

There were lots of things I didn't enjoy about working there. My job was strange. I was working in a tall building with hardly any windows. The pay was low and the people I was working with did not appear to be happy.
One of the strangest things about my experience working there was the group of people who I shared the office with. Every day, an older very large woman would come in with a very young man, and they would sit in the office with me all day. They would do nothing but spend their time playing games on the computer, eating, and looking at me. I never saw them talk to anyone else, or in fact leave their chairs. As far as I knew, they did nothing.
When I would answer the phone or type on the keyboard they would seem annoyed. “Have to answer that phone faster,” one would say. “Yeh good bl....y job!” the other would follow on.
 As well as taking calls from other divisions, I was involved in research projects that just made no sense to me. One of them involved a series of unrelated questions about battery powered cars exploding, The job, the people, the whole setting… not much of it was appealing. I looked forward to escaping each day. I worried I would become like the woman who was found dead at her desk.

Until, halfway through my 3 month tenure,- my boss wanted me to go and live in his house while he and his family went on vacation, and take care of their parrot. Great I thought - free rent, big TV, bar fridge, comfy house, a tame friend - I had wonderful visions,
Not to be, unfortunately.

I got to move,- into his basement;- where I was surrounded by boxes and a collection of old (empty) bottles. Despite the surroundings, the living conditions in the basement were much better than the cheap motel I had landed in a few weeks ago, when I first had come to town.
 I was now living  in a basement surrounded by old bottles and boxes of who knew really what, with a noisy parrot upstairs in the main room.

I remember the phone ringing in the house late one night, and I rushed upstairs from the basement to grab it. It was a my brother, whom I'd not spoken to for 6 months, as he was working in the desert. There was a delay in the communication because he was calling on his satellite phone.

I told him, I was not interested in working for the government, the pay was low and that the work was crazy and seemed pointless. I'll never forget what he said to me.
“Isn’t this but the most you can expect out of your life? If you do this, you will have really succeeded.”
For me, this was not what I wanted in my life, he was saying it was. This was nothing like I wanted.

 My idea of what it meant to be employed was much much more than this. Had I chosen to believe and accept his words, I might have spent my whole life doing something that would have made me an extra in Pink Floyd's musical "The Wall".

Regular fixed pay, but without a chance of developing my skills outside the block walls. And seemingly doomed to life in a seedy motel, or a basement.

I quickly created a reference for myself that the worst possible thing that could happen to me was to work for the government. I had had such a strange  experience, enhanced by the basement life. Working for the government had gone from being my dream to my nightmare.

This makes no sense, of course. our references are what control how we think about things. 

People, like my brother, provide us with references as to how we may choose to view our lives, and we can either accept them or deny them.

 His implying that this was the best I could expect for myself made me furious. I didn't want to be judged for being part of the government world as I experienced it.

When my tenure had ended, I left and I tried to get as far away from a government career as possible.

*******************************************************************

Are you allowing early interpretations of the world to shape and control your destiny? Most of us do, it seems only natural.

We need to take our experiences and frame them in a way that makes us stronger and makes life work for us.

One of the saddest things that can happen to a person is to be abused when they are young. Each person reacts differently to the experience. One can either protect yourself from it, try to numb the feelings, or accept it as an event that happened before. Perhaps a good example,of positive response- is the public story of Nelson Mandela.

 Follows is a quote from a famous musician....

"This experience was one of the best things I have ever gone through. I have never given in to any kind of self-pity for longer than two minutes since then. I realized I can solve my own problems. It showed me that what I thought was my own hell was nothing compared with the hell of others. I have taken that 21-year-old with me throughout my life. He has helped me through the deaths of friends, family matters, personal-relationship issues......"

The most important things we have in our lives are references.

What determines the quality of our lives is how we evaluate situations.

I  think of my early experience with the government. I formed personal beliefs about what the government was like and used this to propel myself away from it.


The references you have for the way the world is, will impact everything that happens to you, and will shape your life.

Your references do not need to be only things that have happened in the past. They can also be references you set up for yourself and what will happen in your future.

The often told story of Sony.
When Sony first started marketing radios in the United States in the 1950s, Bulova offered to buy 100,000 units, but insisted they be marketed under the Bulova brand name. This was to be the largest order Sony had ever received and would give the floundering company money to grow and prosper.

At the time, Sony co-founder Akio Morita barely had any money. Morita was firm he did not want to accept the order and told headquarters that he was not going to take it. Headquarters thought he was crazy.

When Morita told Bulova about his decision, they stated, “Our company name is a famous brand name that has taken over 50 years to establish. Nobody has ever heard of your brand name. Why not take advantage of ours?”
Morita remained steadfast in his views and refused to accept the order.
His reply to Bulova: “Fifty years ago, your brand name must have been just as unknown as our name is today. I am here with a new product, and I am taking the first step for the next fifty years of my company. Fifty years from now I promise you that our name will be just as famous as your company name is today.”



 We use references to give us certainty about the way things are.

When Thomas Edison was designing the light bulb and failing again and again, he told himself, and others- he was one step closer to creating the light bulb each time.
My personal thinking is -"oh well that way didn't work." 

When you look at your past in a way that empowers you, every single day is a new opportunity for growth. When you look at your past in this way, you may realize the worst days of your life were actually your best.

Always link the meaning to your experiences that will strengthen you.

Stand guard at the door of your mind. Do not let your past represent something negative that can hurt you now. Not many of us have had perfect life experiences.

There is in fact no limit to your life except the limits you impose on it. (You may have to move away sometimes). Your future and the world are wide open to you.

 Try to look at everything you’ve done in the past as a powerful lesson that’s making you stronger and better every day. Never be limited by your own mind. Allow your mind to interpret the world for your benefit, and not your detriment.


Once again: Your life is shaped by the reference points through which you experience the world.You must learn to take these experiences and frame them in a way that makes you stronger. This is really very easy in practice.

Keep reading this site.



 pic courtesy of Public Domain Images