My Self Esteem,- Daily Habits and thought patterns of failure or success.

Casting of the spells maiden

Rituals or habits do define you. Many times we have seemingly woken up from a slumber, and found ourselves in a place we never thought we would be, whether it is a dead end job, bad relationship or bad place, the resulting thought is the same. How did this happen to me? Or how can I get out of this?
There must be more!    Apart from the ever increasing noise from the mass media, which encourages cognitive dissonance - a not happy with this - so buy this mentality.

The changing of our thought patterns to that of possibility thinking, is hopefully the initiative and an answer.

It is one of the answers - read below to find the rest of the habits that are guaranteed to change your life as you know it today-

• Change something and get different results. – It is better to change your reaction, or really response to events to get a different result. If you are making a cake, the end enjoyment comes from the ingredients you put in, and how you deal with them. Take one thing in your day, and come up with a different approach, and apply it for a week every day, and see what begins to happen.

• Waiting for the right time is good if you are prepared. –Don't wait to win the lottery, you might, yet you might starve in the meantime. Start learning the paths of success, and prepare yourself - someone said - for life's great adventure. Most of the time you must dare to jump when you have the opening or chance. If really feel that you want to start with some paid education - Udemy online  is a good place.

• Your planning and focus are on the way. – Planning is easy; just as you plan your clothes dressing before going out, formulate a pattern that works for you - it can just be a 60-second process.  Here is an idea:- Every night, think about three  things that you want to accomplish tomorrow, write down how long they will take, what prep will help, and write them down.  When you wake up in the morning look over the list, and then take the first step.  If you find yourself being lured to do something that’s not on that short list of three things, bring yourself back and focus. It is your list, and your life.

• Accept necessary risks. – Avoid unnecessary risks, they a huge waste of time. Yet living is about learning as you go, you can make adjustments and carry on with your life, looking back and congratulating yourself on handling that.

• The rejections of yesterday were learning experiences of the world yesterday. –Believing that you CAN is important, and this is what any domestic abuser will try to change. You learnt to walk or move, so you can learn to be in a better place for yourself. Yesterdays rejections means the other person or circumstance didn't suit us at the time.  It means we have more time to improve ourselves – to perfect our approach, and to build upon our ideas or skills.

• Take responsibility. – Not any or every event in your life is your fault, but they are all your responsibility.  Positively taking some responsibility for your situation, and mostly for your path forward can change everything.  Leave the unchangeable past/people behind you as you allow yourself to focus on the present moment.  Negatively blaming someone else, or some other past circumstance, will keep the blamer in that place. 

• Perfect is good. – Every one of us can be a perfectionist about something.  Learn to work out when your desire to make something perfect is advancing you, or preventing you from achieving what you ultimately want. It is better to say, this needs to last for 2/5/20 or 50 years, so you can move on to something else.

• Look for the truth. – Personal transformation and growth can be remarkably rewarding, but only when the process of change is based on your honesty and truth, as you see it.  When you’re not being authentic somewhere in your life or with someone in your life, it leads to anger and frustration with one party or the other.

• Be alert to new ideas and perspectives. – To make real progress you must let go of the assumption that you already have all the answers.  You can listen to others, learn from them, and successfully work with them even though you may not agree with every opinion they have.

• Avoid negative people who try to cover you with garbage. – It’s a lot easier for many to be negative than positive –and a lot easier to be critical than consider a possibility.  When you’re embarking on a new venture,your old associates may be happy enough in their pond, so instead of listening to the critics that will try to contain you, spend time talking to some of people in this world who are willing to support your efforts and acknowledge your potential, respectfully.

• Come up with a different story. – Forget what everyone else thinks of you; chances are, they aren’t thinking about you that often anyhow, if they are it will be helpful to avoid their control.  You do hopefully evaluate yourself by telling yourself a story inside of your head.  Create a positive or different narrative about your life that includes only the circumstances that matter. Look for a good mentor to copy their techniques. Jim Rohn, Les Brown, and Morgana Rae are good ones to start with. (Some links below)

• Evaluate reality –  Remind yourself that not everything is meant to be, and you can accept this. Only 1 in 300 people are worth your long term association, and the other 299 are in the world too, do not expect them to act or think like you - they wont.

• Expect things to be fun, not easy. – Easy things are good, a flow of, or pattern of results that go your way is the better aim. Many an old alcoholic woman, or grumpy old man are still waiting and expecting the easy life.

• Help others, a little too. –At some stage you may like the help they return you, it is a lot better than them not helping or cutting you down. Watch out for the 'sociopaths' or sharks and con-men and women. So give a little and get a fair exchange, or move on.

• Take small steps each day. – It is far more productive to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a giant leap only to stumble and fall and never get up again.  The path to every goal requires a number of small steps.  Figure out where you want to go, take a step, and keep on going, then keep on going again.  Reasonable honest effort and persistence with adapting approaches is the answer.

Easy Exercises to get the results.

• 1--Choose one area in your life that you want to improve, and then in private, and then put the writings only where you know: get a nice leather journal from Amazon;

• 2--Write down the specific details about your current circumstances.  (What’s bothering you?  What’s wrong?  What do you want to change? Focus on the what - not the Who.)

• 3--Write down your answer to this question: What maybe are the daily actions that have contributed to your current circumstances?  (What might you be doing that contributes to the situation you’re in?)

• 4--Write down the specific details about your ideal circumstances.  (What would make you happy?  

• 5--What does your ideal situation look like?

• 6--Write down your answer to this question:  What is the next one thing that will get you from where you are to where you want to be?  (Think about it.  What small, daily steps will help you move forward?)

• 7--Start now, it can be a phone call or two, a notebook, or one exercise.

• 8--Put the list/s away for the week, and tomorrow do the next step

• 9--Each lunchtime meditate or visualize your ideal for a few minutes, keep doing one or maybe two new things to get you closer to your goal. Keep it quiet- 'zip the lips' as a friend says.

• 10--Each and every night, think about three things that you want to accomplish tomorrow, write down how long they will take, what prep will help, and write them down.  When you wake up in the morning look over the list, and then take the first step.  If you find yourself being lured to do something that’s not on that short list of three things, bring yourself back and focus. It is your list, and your life.

• 11--Appreciate the change in you, and your life as it develops.

• 12--At the end of the 7 days, take out your list, and rewrite a new one, based on that one, get ready for a fun week next week.

• 13--Do it again this week, and so on - the results for you will be very good, very quickly - so long as you keep going with possibility thinking and adaption - guaranteed.

• 14-- Look back each 4 weeks to see where you have come, and what you can do to get closer to that pot of gold at the end of your rainbow.

 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

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 pic courtesy of bare maidens

The Seriously Wealthy - How come they have got more than me? Is it the way they choose?

Choosing your self belief or image of yourself

What is the difference between success and failure? - Especially when you see so many seemingly horrible or selfish people with wealth.

Mostly, it is a focus on the importance of that idea,or desire, and an unconscious self belief that they are 'entitled' to have.

Now this is a good attribute you must have,- one would draw the line at the 'narcissists' of the world, and of course those that damage others to get results for their ego.

To find a level of contentment or appreciation in things as they are in the moment, is indeed the true mark of success.

Now generally any approach or response will bring you results.  Something like 'The Law of Attraction' in the real world, with real people.

The important thing to consider is noticing the activity (or inactivity), and the result or results this does bring us.

A list follows of some of the actions - habits, and one offs, that are choices of the let's call them the 'winners' in the game of reality.


Read through them, noticing the ones you are going to work on in your life to markedly improve it.

• To eventually succeed, a continually adaptable plan is acted on.

• Look for success along the way. Increments are as important as at the finish line.

• To make a difference somehow in some form attracts more benefits to you and everyone else. 

• Winners create belief systems that others follow, rather than being subservient to another's plan for their life.

• Winners earn respect, which is a value orientated determination, from themselves and secondly others.

• Instead of seeing all the puddles in the way, and then falling into one. Winners look around for the solution, that gives value to others as well.

•  To review options, is good, yet action is rewarded. Winners act on decisions.

•  Winners add up all their small victories, to a continuum of a total picture.

•  To expect certain outcomes, and be prepared to deal with the unexpected.

•  Winners are paid for their results, as well as being paid for their time.

• Winners build things. Losers buy fashionable items. (The popular Robert Kiyosaki books are a good help here).

•  Winners see things they don’t understand and get curious.

•  Winners communicate, and share what is important.

• Winners make things happen, they actually make some moves to the goal posts.

• Winners help others get ahead too. Losers want to get ahead of others, being insecure or weak within.

• Winners limit their time with the worst of the losers, knowing they would prefer not to catch their flu.

• Losers label themselves as experts. Be careful of the noise, sometimes the loudest most flashy car for example, does not win the race. Winners know there is still much to learn in the real world.

• Winners over-deliver and negotiate agreeably. Losers over-sell not by enthusiasm, but by deceptive intent, they do manipulate.

• Winners smile from within. Losers frown, roll their eyes, smirk and other controlling facial tics.

• Winners realize the way they work brings opportunity to them. The way of the Wyrd. Losers think winners are lotto lucky.

•  Winners define their own success, creating fashions and others definitions of success.

• Winners face fears in realistic ways. Losers escape fears in the range of chemicals on offer.

• Winners use their free time (learning or experiencing something new). Losers waste their free time (watching TV). You can learn from TV, do be definite about what you want to learn, then if is safe go and try it out in the real world.

• Winners see constant familiarity as a risk. Think a pleasant bubbling stream or brook has better fish, water, and plants in it - than a many year stagnant pond Losers see the unknown as a risk. .

• Winners live life now based on lessons learned in the past, selling to the aforementioned losers.

Your mission is to go back and be aware of these points, being careful of the parasites and sharks;- and one by one, a week at a time change them to be the positive assets that will bring you long term success.






 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

more pics at Bare maidens

The habits of Being poor - definitions of failure prone people - My poverty or wealth?

The train of life

We all ask it at different times What is the difference between failing and success - be it wealth, relationships, or even health?

 Any approach or response will bring you results. The important thing to consider is noticing the activity (or inactivity), and the result or results this does bring us.

Something like 'The Law of Attraction' in the real world, with real people.

Many people find comfort in their place in life in no matter how damaging it is, and just to be clear, to find a level of contentment or appreciation in things as they are in the moment, is the true mark of success.

The dividing lines are where damage is pending, or happening in real terms. Something like sitting on the railroad tracks having a picnic - will a train come or not?
Do not do this - it is a metaphor or mind picture story to help you recognize that actions/in-actions may not have the ideal effect or result you wanted in your life.

A list follows of some of the actions - repeating, and one offs, that are choices of the let's call them 'failures' of the world, or losers in the game of reality.


Read through them, noticing the ones you are going to work on in your life to markedly improve it.

• Losers fail once and quit, use it as a war story and remain stuck, unable to eventually succeed.

• Losers look for success at the finish line, rather than along the way.

• Losers work to make money, which is good - yet to make a difference somehow as well is the ideal.

• Losers seek, and demand respect. Think of the errant judge, or the loudmouth you know.
• Winners earn respect, which is a value orientated determination.

•  Losers stare at the problem, like seeing all the puddles in the way, and then falling in one. Winners look around for the solution, that gives value to others as well.

•  Losers review options, sometimes for years. Winners act on decisions.

•  Losers attempt to conquer the world in one shot. Winners add up all their small victories.

•  Losers expect certain outcomes. Winners prepare themselves as well for the unexpected.

•  Losers are paid for their time, which is good, yet Winners are paid for their results.

•  Losers buy things. (The popular Robert Kiyosaki books are a good help here). Winners build things.

•  Losers see things they don’t understand and rubbish them. Winners see things they don’t understand and get curious.

•  Losers talk, gossip, abuse, and question to reduce another's value. Winners communicate, and share what is important.

•  Losers let things happen. Winners make things happen, they actually make some moves to the goal posts.

• Losers want to get ahead of others, being insecure or weak within. Winners help others get ahead too.

• Losers hangout with losers. Winners limit their time with the worst of the losers, knowing they would prefer not to catch their flu.

• Losers label themselves as experts. Be careful of the noise, sometimes the loudest most flashy car for example, does not win the race. Winners know there is still much to learn.

• Losers over-sell not by enthusiasm, but by deceptive intent, they do manipulate. Winners over-deliver and negotiate agreeably.

• Losers frown, roll their eyes, smirk and other controlling facial tics. Winners smile from within.

• Losers think winners are lotto lucky. Winners realize the way they work brings opportunity to them.

• Losers follow other people’s fashions and definitions of success. Winners define their own success.

• Losers escape fears in the range of chemicals on offer. Winners face fears in realistic ways.

• Losers waste their free time (watching TV). Winners use their free time (learning or experiencing something new). You can learn from TV, do be definite about what you want to learn, then if is safe go and try it out in the real world.

• Losers see the unknown as a risk. Winners see constant familiarity as a risk. Think a pleasant bubbling stream or brook has better fish, water, and plants in it - than a many year stagnant pond.

• Losers live in the past.

• Winners live life now based on lessons learned in the past, selling to the aforementioned losers.

Don't get too despondent - Some of the losers of the world have ingratiated themselves to seem successful.
No one really teaches these ideas to their children, and most administration or government employees or agents are in fact failure orientated.

Your mission is to go back and be aware of these points, being careful of the parasites and sharks;- and one by one, a week at a time change them to be the positive assets that will bring you long term success.


 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

How Women can Enhance their Credibility as Leaders. 23 Tips and resources.

To be valued and successful

Whether at work, church, home or out socially.

To be respected, listened to, and being able to lead the situation in a successful direction, brings superb rewards.

23 Tips and links for Women to Enhance their Credibility as Leaders. 

 

1-Think like a coach, not a controller; - buy, study and read- all the books by John Wooden

2-Give realistic positive, feedback. Aim for the possibility thinking style, and leave the red pen alone. Many a dictator has used the negative - and they have all been replaced, violently in most cases.

3-When coaching women, give the critical feedback first, followed by a positive directive statement.

4-Communicate ideas in a concise, focused manner. Considering each parties benefits, and beliefs.

5-Dress to suit the situation only - you have more value to offer than your body. In fact if this is what you display or flaunt, it indicates your lack of self value, and maybe your value to the world.

6-Do reduce visual distraction and err on the side of conservative, - rethink the bling.

7-Choose your makeup and fragrances very carefully, and be clean in hygiene and dress.

8-Use and choose effective and supportive footwear, your feet do dictate your body energy.

9-Make authentic non seductive eye contact. Focus on the people at hand.

10-Ensure your body language is self assured, not sexy, nor of subservience, acquiescence, or even overt superiority.

11-Watch the tone of voice, the barbie, or baby doll will bring you NO long term favours.

12-Think and talk about the future, as it applies to the situation, and stick to the issues at hand.

13-Leave the curses, and dramatic statements in the gutter, so you manage to stay out of it.

14-Associate mostly with other women, who are either on the same level or better. Your 'friends' will either follow, or you will make more supportive ones.

15-Clean your surroundings, your room, car, house or desk. No need to be over the top, just be noticeably tidy and clean. This habit gets assessed often.

16-Stay open to learning - even the whale will learn from its trusted peers and environment.

17-Take a course say - Udemy online, or Online Courses AU.- cheaper than a university, and you can do it in your own home. Pick one you really would like, pay for it and start.
Make it known - tactfully, that you are doing the course, and finish it.

18-Treat your mind as a royal garden, restrict the bad stuff (sadly most of hollywood and the mass media)
Use them for your benefit, not you be subject to theirs.

19-Study nutrition;- white rice, chocolate, biscuits, or McDonalds, are not the best choices for long term success or performance, as many a pancreatic cancer victim will attest.

20-The old studies of Weston Price, Jack Bragg, and the WW1, and WW2 dietary manuals are a good start. Buy the books, and take up, and stay with the practices.

21-Buy a juicer, some clean foods to go in it, and use it each day.

22-Buy a water filter and use it, chlorine, fluoride and the other water treatments are used to kill living organisms in your water. Long term on you - they cause cellular adaption = cancer, and nutritive diseases. The best; - a Water for Life USA water Ionizer - it works like your smart-phone.

23-Exercise a little each day, it is cheaper than anti-anxiety drugs, improves your sex life, makes you more attractive, and brings you a feeling of control over your life.

The aim for you is to live a long healthy, happy life. 

 

 

Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Grow yourself online in the privacy of your own home




Live Tarot readers - to find a new direction - for you today.
 


 

As a woman can I have it all? Determining my own path..

As a women having it all

I had thought before, that a great measure of civilization might be the influence of good women. - Adapted from - Ralph Waldo Emerson 

We’ve all seen great examples of women who appear to juggle a successful career along with entertainment, life, and motherhood.
Women are asked to stay emotionally attached to their career path and to not leave as soon as they plan for a family.

The discussion at times has been pitting working mothers against stay-at-home mothers. An engineered war of division?
The stay-at-home mothers at times are either envied or looked down on for having left the corporate world. Especially, since marketing and society is heavily pushing for more women to enter the corporate world and the realm of politics. One would guess so as to be seen as role models, so that the subservient ones will buy the merchandise they wear and promote, of course as well as another taxation unit - almost like another duped farm animal sadly.

Yes, we can have it all, but can we do it all, and more importantly — is having and doing it all truly, truly what we want? Ask some questions to consider your true path.....


1. Get honest with yourself. What do you truly want? Write out your own definition of success. What does it allow you? This is not about what your family,friends, minister, or work 'friends' think you should do with your life. It’s about what you want deep down in your heart.
Then start quietly creating that ideal for you, day by day, and keep going- based upon how you’ve crafted your purpose.

2. Allow other women to create their own success definitions. We need to give other women the right to choose what they want. Just because you might not want to be a stay-at-home mom doesn’t mean that someone else isn’t entitled to make this choice.

3. Throw out the 50% rule. While we might represent any % of the population, yet do we truly need to fight for anyone else's cause? Our choice shouldn’t be based upon this percentage, or the desire to be seen as accepted by the group, but because this is something we truly desire. Go and read the bold sheep post, then come back here.

4. In saying that - join together with other women to create your own cause, not 'society's'. Don’t be the lone ranger out there; look for other women who can help you influence the redefining of success for women and men.

5. Communicate clearly and persuasively. Use your voice to impact change. Challenge people to rethink their expectations of women and men in the workplace and what careers have to look like. Let women know that they have choices and don’t have to follow a subscribed path. Paint a new picture for what success can look like for women.
And especially yourself.



Recommended Links to help you...

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Grow yourself online in the privacy of your own home





Live Tarot readers - to find a new direction - for you today.

Become Self Assertive, and more a Confident you, from today with -

Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.
 

How do you get over a Man? A breakup I never thought would happen to me.

The man of my dreams.

If you want to cure a problem, the first thing you must ask is what causes it.

In the same way, the question, “How do I get my boyfriend back?” can be resolved by identifying the main reasons why you broke up.

Reconciliation can occur on positive terms, if in the first place you’re truly sure why the split happened.

By asking yourself (not your 'friends') some difficult questions, you can get to the bottom of the problem, and move ahead in the best direction for you.

Did your personal differences clash?
Many couples split up because they get to a point where they can’t tolerate or complement each other’s personality. If your relationship ended for this reason, you can fix this by sincere communication. Give him a call and invite him for a daytime chat in a cafe.-That means no alcohol, drugs, sports distractions, or sex. Do not flirt, or wear revealing clothes, - this is a calm yet serious conversation, or two.
Discuss together what traits you appreciate and what adjustments you can do for the relationship, and what he thinks would help (what he will consider doing.). When you talk to him, keep yourself calm and undemanding. Call your empathy every time you find him difficult to understand. If he doesn’t feel like having a word with you, there is a chance he feels unable to trust you; don’t pressure him.


Did the hectic schedules get in your way?
Couples last longer when they choose to spend moments with each other, to strengthen the bond and to create positive memories together. If both of your hands were quite full, and you lacked the discipline to put time into your relationship, it was bound to fail. Now that you ask yourself, “How do I get my boyfriend back”, make sure you put his name in your organizer, not just your friends. Be careful you are considerate of his time as well as your own, and don’t overdo it, as persistent emails, text messages and calls are seen as harassment.


Did you get bored with each other?
If your relationship happened to be monotonous, you might have run out of creative ideas to have kept it going. Explore your own hobbies, talents and interests, no real man wants a doormat around him. Now that you want him back, you can’t return to the same total focus of you and him, or expect him to be interested in what brand of makeup/clothing you do or don't like.


Was there any kind of abuse in the relationship?
If you underwent physical and emotional abuses in a past relationship, how have you changed?
Are you recreating the same responses here with this one?
How can you change your words, or inner self talk?

If there is abuse, usually it is better to change yourself first - being in someones face, or minimizing them or their accomplishments will aggravate the calmest person in the world. They may or may not hit you, but they will avoid you or leave, and your name will be mud in the community.


Was he dissatisfied with your physical intimacy?
Men are turned off with all women who react like robots to his hugs and kisses. As well as demands, 'twenty seven' conditions to be right before intimacy, and flirting with other men or woman, will bring you failure. It greatly affects his, and your satisfaction in the relationship.
Enhance your looks, and hygiene, and be confident within yourself, do not verbalize your faults, only your improvements. When ever you get a chance to talk to him, show your honest smile and interested gaze.


Did you try and contain or entrap him?
A real man will avoid in his mind, imprisonment - he may love the security of your devotion, but he is almost like a cat, - they always come home to where they are cared for, and welcome. They are never happy trapped in containment.


Was he feeling the relationship was one way?
It doesn't take long for most men to get tired of financially (or otherwise) supporting someone, who does not offer any real value, What real value can you offer this partnership? A decorative accessory, lazy cook, or baby factory - just does not cut it. How can you improve yourself? Buy Roy Sheppards book - "..Be The One", and read it, and start to work at it a little at a time.


 Were there infidelity issues?
If he’s currently happy with another woman, move on with your life. If you made a mistake and caused it - that was a life learning experience. If he came back to you - talk about how to make things more satisfactory for both of you. Maybe study the Kama Sutras together.


 Once you’re over the question, “How do I get my boyfriend back?” value the second chance that has been given to you. Apply yourself and work at it.

The 6 Biggest Mistakes Women Make
Trying To Get Their Men Back

Unfortunately, most women go about fighting for their man the wrong way and pay the price dearly. In most cases, these mistakes actually push him further away! Mistakes like…

• Promising to change who you are
• Sending flowers or a touching letter
• Trying to make him feel guilty
• Stalking and/or spying on him
• Calling his friends and relatives
• Giving up

Let's face it, you're scared, depressed, or both, and just want to get back together with your man once and for all. 


 Want to still get your ex back - Oprah's relationship specialist has the answers for you.

A few steps to getting over a breakup

1) Understand that you're thoughts and memories create the 'feelings' that you are are still in love with him. As attractive, as he was, that was a great life experience then.


2) There are millions of date-able men in the world. There are literally millions of men as good in different ways. And of course millions who are similar or worse - let's think 50/50 for the moment - reality says otherwise - but think like this for now.


3) He is not your soulmate, your true love, the one or anything else. You partnered with him for this while.
Soulmates and true love is an invention of the mass media, movies and sold to the gullible masses.
If he was your soulmate or your true love you would still be with him and everything would be roses.


4) Realize that when another one comes along you will begin to forget all about the old one. The new one will of course force this requirement as well. The way you get over your cat’s death is you mourn for a while and then you go to the cat pound and pick up a new one. Similarly, the way you truly get over a man is to get a life outside of them.


5) Do not watch emotional movies or listen to popular music. The media is planned to hold in this place, so you will waste money trying to find contentment in valueless purchases. Rather than consume media that makes you sad, you must consume media that uplifts you and motivates you for the future - whether you are with him or not.


6) Realize that you dodged a bullet by breaking up. As it could not last, it will not last, it is best that it’s over with now, instead of in the future when much more will be at stake. A little heartache is a whole lot better than being unsupported later.


7) Realize that you may be sad and lonesome for a little while and accept it. You wouldn’t be too human if you had no emotions at all. Maybe you’ll spend a week or two listening to sad music and drinking too much. Just don’t let it become habit. Get it out, get it over with and move on to your new and better life. You have learned something here.

8) You can now learn from your mistakes and get a better companion for your future. That doesn’t mean you should pay them more attention or buy more gifts, or trap someone, you absolutely must not.
If you want a man to be head over heels in love with you, you must be a worthwhile person in yourself. 


Ninety percent of men want a good sex partner - you are seeking a 30% that will continuously participate and contribute actively to a shared life as well - it is called a partnership for a reason. 


9) Never, ever take advice from your friends, on how to get men. They will lie, and tell you to be nice and be yourself and/or buy gifts, knowing full well that they despise the losers who do such things. And be aware, another STD, or unplanned child, is not a good idea.
The best person to take advice from is the older genuine woman who has succeeded in what you have worked out you want.


10) Realize that a lot of modern men will never be the perfect man, your 100% soulmate, or a white knight in shining armor. This is the stuff of a fantasy novel, and for your sanity, best left inside the books.

These are some men whom you cannot please no matter what. If you’re dating such a man you should let him go immediately and find a better companion. Don’t fall for the romance idea. He is an abuser in waiting.


11) If you need physical closeness or sex- find a companion with that mutually in mind, or ideally - as Napolean Hill says - transmute it - redirect the hormonal and societal thinking into an achievement power for yourself, and your new future.

Getting over a breakup is actually quite easy when you think about it in a logical way, and don’t listen to others.

 Dust yourself off and find yourself a better life, - there are sports, hobbies, building an empire, cats, gardening, dogs, sports, books - many many things to refocus your life on. 

 Be a better person yourself - for yourself.

Recommended links to Help you....


Hobby ideas from amazon.
 

Become Self Assertive, and more a Confident you, from today with -

 Want to still get your ex back - Oprah's relationship specialist has the answers for you.



Or do take an Assertiveness course. These will help you stand your ground, and get what you want easily.

Assertiveness training, stress handling techniques by the world famous David Bonham-Carter.

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

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Is my relationship OK? The ten indicators that maybe it is not, and time to move on.

My life desires - a contemplation.

Really the questions are; can I accept this partner's actions, male or female - while I change them? Or what are we each getting out of this partnership - emotionally and psychologically, as well as physically.

Some people are slow, or resistive to change - so "do I want to change me?" is the other question you must ask yourself.
 

One of the best signs of a healthy relationship, on a basic level is from Winnie the Pooh, by A.A. Milne.

 Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you." 

This goes both ways - you must establish what will bring that thinking out in your partner, and consistently do that, to keep a good relationship. As it would be valid for you to teach them, how you might best like it.

In a perfectly healthy relationship, as it progresses, you do feel sure of your partner- without having to ask for their reassurance..(Trust).

There are some signs of unhealthy relationships, and we often ignore the 'red flags' in the rush of enthusiasm. Not everyone is perfect, of course, the level of imperfection you decide to accept - is your choice, and decision alone.

10 Signs of Unhealthy Relationships 

 

The worst sign of all types of unhealthy relationships is the first one: secrets. If you can’t talk about what your partner says and does to you, then it’s an unhealthy relationship.
Another big sign of an unhealthy relationship is if you feel unhappy, insecure, and unloved, a major amount of the time, when you’re with your partner.

If either of these is the case, you need to evaluate properly

• a- the rewards of persisting;

• b- the how to- of changing you or them;

• c- your sanity and or safety;

Some relationships are better at a distance, or with different people - the key word to consider is partnership - with all of its qualities. 


Read on......for the 10 most unhealthy signs......


1. You keep your partner’s actions and words a secret. If you can’t tell your family or friends about the things your partner says and does, then you may not be in a healthy loving relationship. If you lie to protect her or him, then it’s time to get out of that unhealthy relationship. You’re not just with the wrong girl or guy…you’re helping them being the wrong type of person.

2. Your partner wants you to change. If your partner doesn’t love you as you are, and says or verbalizes a requirement that you change - you must consider truthfully 1;- whether it would be better to change; or 2;- is this a one-sided method of control.
This is one of the most important signs of unhealthy relationships: a woman who doesn’t love or accept you as you are.Or a man. Your partner has fantasy's of some type, - do you want to be part of that fantasy? And is it worth it to keep up with it long-term?

3. Your partner doesn’t trust you. Constant phone calls, demands on your time, and jealous fits are NOT signs of love! If your partner doesn’t trust you or accuses you of lying, then you need to re-evaluate your actions. You may be doing something or acting in a way that makes them insecure - equally - it is very very common for many not nice people to accuse you of what they are in fact doing or planning.
If it is the first, find out how to make it easier for both of you, if it is the second -talk about it quietly.
If it does not change - leave- quietly, and with both of your safety in mind. If they open your mail (as an new or unusual practice) or show up at work unexpectedly, he or she doesn’t trust you. This is a sign of deep insecurity, which needs to addressed;- being best together with a rabbi, priest, or similar 'impartial' believable authority as soon as possible.

4. Your partner puts you down, in private or in front of others. If they call you names, ridicule your thoughts or opinions, or makes you feel like a fool, even in jest (joking) more than once or twice - then they're no good for you! You can address the first one or two times, by saying about how you feel when they.. and you would prefer this .... behaviour.  
Should they minimize your request, or continue to do it, or even discuss it in the third person with you or others  - leave - their internal psychology is too immature for the life you want.

5. You don’t feel like an equal partner in your relationship. Does your 'partner' make all the decisions – or do you? An unequal balance of power is a sign of an unhealthy relationship, and a definitely either time to find out how to bring the relationship closer to a 50/50 contribution of thought or reality - or a sign it’s time to get out. Most importantly if you aren’t being treated equally,

6. You and your partner don’t have the same long or short-term goals. If you can’t agree on financial issues, family matters, or goals for your future, then you may want to think twice about your relationship. Nobody has the exact same plans for the future, but the happiest couples will have the same focus.
 
7. Your partner says they love you, but doesn’t act like they love you. Believe their nonverbal behavior (actions) over verbal behavior (talk,money, and things are cheap!). If she or he talks down to you, this needs to stop - it is verbal abuse, and leads to power and control issues a lot of people cannot manage.

8. You feel unhealthy, guilty, unhappy, depressed, or sad about your relationship. This tip is based on the quote of Piglet and Winnie the Pooh above. If you don’t feel secure, comfortable, and loved in your relationship, then you may be with the wrong person. If you truthfully putting in the effort to be the best you can, and honestly applying yourself to the partnership and you still have a perception of insecurity- it’s a sign you’re in an unhealthy relationship and you should think about leaving.

If your 'friend' or partner makes you feel unhealthy about yourself, they may have more unspoken challenges than you.You must create some distance -- be it emotionally or physically while you make yourself stronger.
 If you’re in an unhealthy relationship, learn how to empower yourself, improve your relationship, and change your life for the better.read The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?: A Woman’s Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go by Patricia Evans.


9. Your family and friends aren’t supportive of your relationship. We shouldn't choose our partners based on our family and friends’ opinions, in fact, some families are the cause of all the problems - but  we should evaluate their opinions. If your family or friends have strong reservations about your partner, ask for specific reasons. Find out the true basis of their feelings, and try to be objective, - do be aware they might be feeling insecure themselves.

10. You’re wondering about the warning signs of unhealthy relationships. The most important warning sign of love 'gone unhealthy' is your intuitive feeling! Why are you worrying about your relationship? The primary question to ask is would you want your sister, best friend, son or daughter to be in this relationship?
To find the strength and courage to either fix or leave an unhealthy relationship, you may need to talk to someone.

If these signs of unhealthy relationships are pointing you out the door, read Be Brave and How to End a Relationship - It was written it for all us who know their relationship is not helping us, but want to leave either safely, with some of our dignity intact, or with a future harmony in life.

The best way to predict if your relationship will last is to ask yourself if you’re willing to keep living with these signs of unhealthy relationships. What do you want from your life, relationship, what level can your partner meet? You are allowed to claim your own life. Don’t end up being be a passive observer in it! 

 Thought for the Day: Because I set a standard, I attract those who are good for me. I am strong. I have the courage to say NO to those who are wrong, and the goodwill to say YES to those who are right for me.

Recommended resources to help you...choose a couple....


Winnie the Pooh - a fable well worth having and reading


Should I Stay or Should I Go? A Guide to Knowing if Your Relationship Can — and Should — Be Saved by Lundy Bancroft


'The Dangerous Woman'  or  'Venus the dark side'  -- Both Highly recommended reads

Become Self Assertive, and more a Confident you, from today with -

Or take an Assertiveness course. These will help you stand your ground without becoming aggressive or hostile.
If you feel physically intimidated by people, you might want to consider a self-defense course, or training books as well.


 Plan your next escape ; - you choose where to - with Webjet.

Relationship and marriage enhancement and improvement techniques and help.

*If your situation is unsafe/or may be unsafe - get local trusted registered professional advice from more than two unrelated identities.see important note. 

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