My Self Esteem,- Daily Habits and thought patterns of failure or success.

Casting of the spells maiden

Rituals or habits do define you. Many times we have seemingly woken up from a slumber, and found ourselves in a place we never thought we would be, whether it is a dead end job, bad relationship or bad place, the resulting thought is the same. How did this happen to me? Or how can I get out of this?
There must be more!    Apart from the ever increasing noise from the mass media, which encourages cognitive dissonance - a not happy with this - so buy this mentality.

The changing of our thought patterns to that of possibility thinking, is hopefully the initiative and an answer.

It is one of the answers - read below to find the rest of the habits that are guaranteed to change your life as you know it today-

• Change something and get different results. – It is better to change your reaction, or really response to events to get a different result. If you are making a cake, the end enjoyment comes from the ingredients you put in, and how you deal with them. Take one thing in your day, and come up with a different approach, and apply it for a week every day, and see what begins to happen.

• Waiting for the right time is good if you are prepared. –Don't wait to win the lottery, you might, yet you might starve in the meantime. Start learning the paths of success, and prepare yourself - someone said - for life's great adventure. Most of the time you must dare to jump when you have the opening or chance. If really feel that you want to start with some paid education - Udemy online  is a good place.

• Your planning and focus are on the way. – Planning is easy; just as you plan your clothes dressing before going out, formulate a pattern that works for you - it can just be a 60-second process.  Here is an idea:- Every night, think about three  things that you want to accomplish tomorrow, write down how long they will take, what prep will help, and write them down.  When you wake up in the morning look over the list, and then take the first step.  If you find yourself being lured to do something that’s not on that short list of three things, bring yourself back and focus. It is your list, and your life.

• Accept necessary risks. – Avoid unnecessary risks, they a huge waste of time. Yet living is about learning as you go, you can make adjustments and carry on with your life, looking back and congratulating yourself on handling that.

• The rejections of yesterday were learning experiences of the world yesterday. –Believing that you CAN is important, and this is what any domestic abuser will try to change. You learnt to walk or move, so you can learn to be in a better place for yourself. Yesterdays rejections means the other person or circumstance didn't suit us at the time.  It means we have more time to improve ourselves – to perfect our approach, and to build upon our ideas or skills.

• Take responsibility. – Not any or every event in your life is your fault, but they are all your responsibility.  Positively taking some responsibility for your situation, and mostly for your path forward can change everything.  Leave the unchangeable past/people behind you as you allow yourself to focus on the present moment.  Negatively blaming someone else, or some other past circumstance, will keep the blamer in that place. 

• Perfect is good. – Every one of us can be a perfectionist about something.  Learn to work out when your desire to make something perfect is advancing you, or preventing you from achieving what you ultimately want. It is better to say, this needs to last for 2/5/20 or 50 years, so you can move on to something else.

• Look for the truth. – Personal transformation and growth can be remarkably rewarding, but only when the process of change is based on your honesty and truth, as you see it.  When you’re not being authentic somewhere in your life or with someone in your life, it leads to anger and frustration with one party or the other.

• Be alert to new ideas and perspectives. – To make real progress you must let go of the assumption that you already have all the answers.  You can listen to others, learn from them, and successfully work with them even though you may not agree with every opinion they have.

• Avoid negative people who try to cover you with garbage. – It’s a lot easier for many to be negative than positive –and a lot easier to be critical than consider a possibility.  When you’re embarking on a new venture,your old associates may be happy enough in their pond, so instead of listening to the critics that will try to contain you, spend time talking to some of people in this world who are willing to support your efforts and acknowledge your potential, respectfully.

• Come up with a different story. – Forget what everyone else thinks of you; chances are, they aren’t thinking about you that often anyhow, if they are it will be helpful to avoid their control.  You do hopefully evaluate yourself by telling yourself a story inside of your head.  Create a positive or different narrative about your life that includes only the circumstances that matter. Look for a good mentor to copy their techniques. Jim Rohn, Les Brown, and Morgana Rae are good ones to start with. (Some links below)

• Evaluate reality –  Remind yourself that not everything is meant to be, and you can accept this. Only 1 in 300 people are worth your long term association, and the other 299 are in the world too, do not expect them to act or think like you - they wont.

• Expect things to be fun, not easy. – Easy things are good, a flow of, or pattern of results that go your way is the better aim. Many an old alcoholic woman, or grumpy old man are still waiting and expecting the easy life.

• Help others, a little too. –At some stage you may like the help they return you, it is a lot better than them not helping or cutting you down. Watch out for the 'sociopaths' or sharks and con-men and women. So give a little and get a fair exchange, or move on.

• Take small steps each day. – It is far more productive to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a giant leap only to stumble and fall and never get up again.  The path to every goal requires a number of small steps.  Figure out where you want to go, take a step, and keep on going, then keep on going again.  Reasonable honest effort and persistence with adapting approaches is the answer.

Easy Exercises to get the results.

• 1--Choose one area in your life that you want to improve, and then in private, and then put the writings only where you know: get a nice leather journal from Amazon;

• 2--Write down the specific details about your current circumstances.  (What’s bothering you?  What’s wrong?  What do you want to change? Focus on the what - not the Who.)

• 3--Write down your answer to this question: What maybe are the daily actions that have contributed to your current circumstances?  (What might you be doing that contributes to the situation you’re in?)

• 4--Write down the specific details about your ideal circumstances.  (What would make you happy?  

• 5--What does your ideal situation look like?

• 6--Write down your answer to this question:  What is the next one thing that will get you from where you are to where you want to be?  (Think about it.  What small, daily steps will help you move forward?)

• 7--Start now, it can be a phone call or two, a notebook, or one exercise.

• 8--Put the list/s away for the week, and tomorrow do the next step

• 9--Each lunchtime meditate or visualize your ideal for a few minutes, keep doing one or maybe two new things to get you closer to your goal. Keep it quiet- 'zip the lips' as a friend says.

• 10--Each and every night, think about three things that you want to accomplish tomorrow, write down how long they will take, what prep will help, and write them down.  When you wake up in the morning look over the list, and then take the first step.  If you find yourself being lured to do something that’s not on that short list of three things, bring yourself back and focus. It is your list, and your life.

• 11--Appreciate the change in you, and your life as it develops.

• 12--At the end of the 7 days, take out your list, and rewrite a new one, based on that one, get ready for a fun week next week.

• 13--Do it again this week, and so on - the results for you will be very good, very quickly - so long as you keep going with possibility thinking and adaption - guaranteed.

• 14-- Look back each 4 weeks to see where you have come, and what you can do to get closer to that pot of gold at the end of your rainbow.

 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

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Defining Your Self Esteem or How to Change our Self-Image

Our life choices

Many of us were brought up with a form of brainwashing, by literally changing the structure of one’s brain, and creating strong neural pathways so that one thinks in a patterned way.

Picture a little child’s brain as a virgin jungle of trees and flowers.

When the child has a thought, it is like moving way through new territory, leaving behind a few footprints and a few broken twigs.

As he or she slowly matures, every time the same path  is taken, that faint path becomes a little more pronounced and easier to take, until it becomes a well-worn track, and eventually a road, and finally a regular highway, along which thoughts effortlessly zoom.

This is an analogy of what actually happens to the structure of one’s brain, while learning, and developing. The great tragedy, however, is that most of us have suffered unhealthy childhood brainwashing, brought on by immature parents and teachers, who were influenced themselves by the organizations determined to maintain their power.
Think of your un-favorite politician, or criminal banker, and how they influenced you - by whatever means possible - to maintain their lifestyle, until they were too gross in their behaviour.

It need not be as awful as direct abuse, more so a deceptive or one sided minimizing of your life value. While theirs is un-fairly maximized, as the notion of fairness is often applied in their favour - think of your telcos or internet providers 'fair use criteria.'

What feels true to us largely depends on what we have told ourselves over and over. If we have allowed years of programing our minds to accept something as truth, reaching the point where we accept the exact opposite as true takes a little maturity.

Each time we tell ourselves something, or accept as truth something someone else says about us, it is like putting a weight on one side of a balance.
  If at any time you  berate oneself with such putdowns as “I’m an idiot!” “I’m a useless waste of space!” “I can never do anything right!” “Everyone hates me!” or similar, be aware these are someone else's statements for you.
These are control and abusive mechanisms designed to limit you, and a possible true assessment of escape or the situation.
A standard KGB, prison, or female (especially) abusers - technique, to get you to meekly comply.

This degenerates into a deeply engrained habit, as strong and cruel as heroin addiction, and is designed as such.

Letting other people’s opinion – or whether they ever get around to expressing any good opinion they have of you – determine your self-esteem or your emotional well-being or your motivation, is on par with relinquishing control over your own life and destiny and signing it over to a snake or scorpion.

The difference is you can make new neural paths, and repair the damage easily. 

 

•  If you use an alias or nickname in emails, you might change it to something that builds your self-esteem. If you use nicknames or pet names with some of your friends, you might also seek a name that uplifts you.

• If you use computer passwords, you might say to yourself,  'I can do all things through Christ', while typing the first letter of each word. ICDATTC then becomes the new password.   If you are not a Christian, choose a Mnemonic (letters as a reminder of a phrase), that help you create the identity to help you.      Think of one now, and apply it - if you are really stuck - study some of Jim Rohn's works, and pick a quote to reuse for you.      No one negative could guess such an apparently random string of letters, and to remember it by rehearsing in your mind that positive declaration every time you use it is very very powerful.  

• Change your screensaver picture to some scenery in nature you would like to identify with - no words - this saves the attempted minimizing by 'the great unwashed'. Do the same for your phone, or pen, or bookmark.

• Perhaps you could put a little heart somewhere, or on your key ring, to remind you how much you are loved by God or the gods. Read the silver spoon post.

• If you are able to, dress a little better, better than normal, choose a new style or an accessory or two.  

• If possible clean your shoes or footwear daily, the psychology of this is very important  Kits from amazon.

• If is safe take a different physical path or roadway on your daily travels - it is often that the new environment, brings freshness to our perception.

• Choose a mentor, someone to copy their working habits -  whether it be your favourite entrepreneur a world away, or a successful aunt or distant cousin.

• Remember no one is perfect in every single aspect of life, and you can learn from the good and bad aspects of people to support your change for the better.

• Therefore, start to be pleasant to your daily contacts - be polite, and courteous- watch others and learn their techniques - be aware of the predators though.

• If you can manage caring for it - get a pet - one at a time, and involve yourself in its development as well. Pet ideas from amazon.

• Bring new people into your life, visit new online groups, begin and follow though on a new hobby. Hobby ideas from amazon. The previous associates you have, will either evolve with you, or leave; - freeing you up for a successful life. 

•  Hold your posture well. Learn Reiki, or the Alexander technique. Yoga is good - an older male teacher is best to get you started.

A few Christian verses for you

•     Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death . . .

•     Proverbs 18:7 A fool’s mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul.

•     Matthew 12:36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every  careless word they have spoken.

•     Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.







Become Self Assertive, and more a Confident you, from today with -

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Assertiveness training, stress handling techniques by the world famous David Bonham-Carter.

Turn your computer into the ultimate meditation assistant.





Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition  



Live Tarot readers - to find a new direction - for you today.


Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...
Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Watch Out for the Past! It seems to be a never ending struggle of What next? or What now?

A spiral path to where?

Many people have an anticipation of -"What next! or What now!" or in colloquial terms  'Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop'.

This negative expectancy and fear of the future is built on their observations, accurate as they are,

 

And coming from a fear and belief that our lives seem to go from one struggle to another.

• This is a learnt reaction to parental, religious - particularly Christian - or an abuser's, manipulations.

Somehow we naturally seem to believe that the past is somehow true in the here and now. For example, it seems logical that if money was lost in an investment in the past, or a stupid mistake caused us to loose money in then, that is evidence that we are stupid and unlucky now.
Rather than evidence of a need to change out our internal dialogue, and our actions that led us to that place.

Most have been taught that we are vulnerable to doing something in the present or future that will replicate the losses of the past. And any manipulator will try and use this invocation to control us.

To be successful in adapting to the world, we must find a way to stop living through the past as a determinant of our present or future.

You have probably heard of the book 'The Power of Now' which says that living in the present moment is the best way to live.
This doesn’t mean you forget your past. Of course, you want the wisdom of your past without the pain and suffering of the past.
And this doesn’t just mean your past when you were a child, with  either its security or insecurities.

The idea here is to let go of the struggle and painful aspects of the memories of the past.

One of the best books to help is 'The Path of Least Resistance' by Robert Fritz - buy it and read it each year.

You can start this process as well, by tuning in to the uncomfortable feelings and saying to yourself, 'that was me then, I've learnt now that ......'

When you are in touch with and remain connected with your inner soul presence of love, light and goodness that lives in your core, you will find that natural laws will bring more goodness, love and peace to your life.

That may seem like a bold statement, but not when you realize that the only reason you wouldn’t have all goodness, love and peace is because you are in resistance to it at some level.

 

The Secret - Think about how your day and life, is one story connected to another story. 

Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.







Become Self Assertive, and more a Confident you, from today with -

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Assertiveness training, stress handling techniques by the world famous David Bonham-Carter.

Turn your computer into the ultimate meditation assistant.





Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition  



Live Tarot readers - to find a new direction - for you today.


Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...
Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

How do you become gullible and why? And how can you tell if you are? Can it be fixed?

Accepting the status quo?

Being gullible generally requires some sort of action/response, such as handing money to a scammer, or being conned to donate time to another's cause or mission.

So, really it is being manipulated - generally by emotion - to give up something of value for something of little (particularly future) value.

These organizations, or people - exploit the gullible, by taking advantage of victims, and their lack of awareness in that situation. Whether it is your most un-favorite politician, a panhandler, or 'narcissist,' or the lawyer exploiting you.
It can best be described as giving trust when one should not have, or misplaced trust, not just once, but repeatedly. Always giving some unearned advancement of assets to the manipulator.

 
Gullibility in itself is somewhat amusing game for the observers. And the manipulator's ego thrives on this -them often being a 'damaged child' or 'lost soul' -- of course this is a prime indicator of someone to avoid in life.

What Damage Can Gullibility Cause? 

While many argue that it is harmless for people to believe whatever they want, as it is indeed their freedom to do so, the problem is gullibility or on the other hand, manipulative or exploitative behaviour, is never limited just a few beliefs, but rather is a pervasive pattern in that person's life, including politics and social interactions, and that affects other people, and the world as a whole.

Gullibility and health
People make decisions about health based on their beliefs, not always their own health, but those of their relatives and children. Belief in mainstream medicine often prevents that person from taking actions to prevent disease. As a belief in a fashionable diet trend, or anti-authority position leads them down a path to the nearest guru - whose self importance is his or her total aim. While beliefs are good, to be swayed by a singular and exclusive trend, is not of help to you.

Gullibility and Finance
While most financial opportunities simply have the gullible victim willingly handing over money, one particular type of scam apart from the standard banking system, does stand out;- the pyramid scheme.
A pyramid scheme takes advantage of gullible people by turning them into associates to recruit even more victims. Instead of the scammer defrauding dozens of people personally, they find two gullible people to pay and join up, convince them each to find two more gullible people to pay and join up, and repeat for as long as it lasts.
This is no different than your bank or share-market, apart from the fact is is unregulated, and more likely for the originators or their affiliates to take your assets or cash and leave you without.

Gullibility and Religion
Are religious people more gullible? The evidence is very clear, there are signs that religious people have a 'positive' bias, in that they believe fellow members will not be out to hurt them, regardless of the facts. Scammers often take advantage of this by pulling an 'affinity scam', where they join the church or the administration, to get close to the pastor and/or members in order to abuse them later.
NOTE: Affinity scam can be used on any sort of group, from religion to community to race to professional organization, even love relationships.

What Causes Gullibility? A few components:

1. Situation -- victim was influenced by social situation, such as 'friends.'
2. Cognition -- victim does not recognize the danger signs of a con man/woman or a standard manipulative plan.
3. Personality -- victim is susceptible to belief invocations.
4. State --incapacitated in some way, to make rational decisions
5. Seeking or desiring of something for nothing, or 'lazy.'
6. Expects or hopes the worlds comes to them.

Cognitive Tricks Scammers Use

Scammers use a variety of tricks to influence your thinking / cognition. Many of them involve logical fallacies, and others involve misdirection, half-truths or outright lies. Something like a deceptive lawyer or realtor.  Here are a few you need to be aware of (this list is NOT meant to be a comprehensive list).

Priming the Pump
Fundraisers, auctioneers, realtors, internet gurus, and scammers, all use this trick: when you put an offer in front of people, few if any will volunteer to be first. Those who are between yes and no often will want to see someone else go first, put their money in, THEN they will join the crowd and jump in.
These manipulators know this too, and they often have friends as 'shills', who pretend to be one of the normal, and start to buy up whatever it is the influencers are selling. And are reimbursed or favoured in some way. This is often enough to allow the seduced people to be deceived with the courage that 'it must be OK, look these normal people are doing it.'

Dominant Personality
People are swayed by dominant personality, and that is a fact. Just because a group agreed with a decision doesn't mean the decision was actually MADE by the whole group. Many use this by presenting in a seminar where they are actively pushing this idea upon you, the passive audience. When they are sufficiently fast-talking nobody will be asking questions, as they push the right emotional triggers and dominate your decision making abilities.


Claim Authority
By presenting oneself as the authority on the issue (no matter the validity of this claim) one automatically gains some sort of recognition, as if others are recognizing that if one is willing to put oneself in front of the group, one must have conviction about whatever it is he or she is pushing.
Lawyers, immature marketers, corrupt politicians, and scammers often take advantage of this by hiring fake experts or have the experts present a one sided perception of the events, as this is what they are paid to do.

How to Fight Gullibility

Following are things you can do to reduce your own gullibility, by exerting control over the factors named earlier.

• Always consider the Long-Term -- The manipulator has, and is. You must think this too. 

• You do not have to nice to everyone--Even at best, only 50% of people have the skills to obtain what they want without theft or manipulation - It is perfectly OK to avoid or not converse with these people.

• Record-- Take notes in front of your abuser, or manipulator - or use your phone or a recording device to record the interaction. 'To go over, or review later to make sure I understand'... or....'for training purposes.'    Mostly they have the right to a copy, yet you have the right to make them pay full legal pay rates before you release the copy. Don't tell them this, just 'I can get a copy to you later if you want - just send me a note if you need it.' Then reply with an account stating 'thank you for your request of xx - $xxxx-- copy sent upon receipt of cleared nonrefundable funds in full. Do please allow x days from receipt of payment'
• Have your interactions in front of a CCTV camera you hold the key for - if it is on your private property - (and you have generic signage obvious) your footage is yours. Do remind them as they leave, to only ever come back if you ask them to.

• Avoid Temptation -- if you know you're vulnerable to certain situations, don't go there. Much like breaking an addiction habit, you must avoid situations where you're forced into making decisions that you will regret later.

• Time Out -- refuse to commit to one side or another, play a little confused if you have to - go home and think about it. Do NOT make impulsive decisions. This also works when you are exhausted, either emotionally or physically and thus not capable of making proper decisions.

• Counter-attack -- instead of being pushed (such as high-pressure sales pitch), you push back, by countering with a question (what exactly did you call me for?), ask for a quick summary (You have 60 seconds) - then do not listen to it- put the phone down, meditate, or look past them focusing on a far away point; or interruption ( 'gee - just get to the point'), and so on. Instead of them pushing you, you push them. This disrupts their 'script' and puts them on the defensive.

• Escape clause -- find a way to get away, get out, avoid having to make a decision before you have gathered all the information to satisfy you.

• Sanity Check -- bring a friend, a relative, a trusted minister or rabbi; - Do make sure you bring someone who is 'wiser' and calmer than you are. Go back to the record or take notes for later plan.

• Critical Thinking -- learn what is critical thinking, preferably as early as possible, This would also cover logical fallacies (i.e. how to make something that seem logical but isn't) so you can spot those being used on you.

• Healthy Skepticism -- not cynicism, but understanding the source of the information, what bias it may contain, and how much of it is real raw information, and how much of it is "spin" and "opinion". Just because a scientist, religious person, or salesperson says so doesn't make it so, unless there is evidence.

• General Education --Learn for yourself the techniques the manipulators use- so you can avoid them.  
• Learn the legislation or rules, the other party operates with - Udemy online is a good place to learn from- and the loopholes they prefer. 
• Ask for the rules/acts, an authentic offerer will allow you full access, 'What are the 10 most common?' is a great question, followed by, 'hang on - I'll just write them down'; - or if you are buying something, ask 'what is the most common reason for return for this year? last year? why? how exactly is this one different? What exactly does the warranty/guarantee cover? Let's have a look at it -the written version - shall we?'

The Ultimate questions-- 

• Will this help me or my life long term? 

• What am I going to get out of all this as we go along? 

• Can I afford the cost of the time and or money out of my life? -- I do only live once.

"I know one thing: that I know nothing." - Socrates

 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple...

• Patricia Evan's books:- Recognizing and dealing with verbal abuse. (read them all!)

• George Simon's books:- Dealing with manipulative people. (buy and read them all!)

• 'The Dangerous Woman'  or  'Venus the dark side'  -- Both Highly recommended reads

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.







Become Self Assertive, and more a Confident you, from today with -

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Assertiveness training, stress handling techniques by the world famous David Bonham-Carter.

Turn your computer into the ultimate meditation assistant.

Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition  



Live Tarot readers - to find a new direction - for you today.


Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...
Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

How Can I Be More Convincing and Get Anything I Want?

Thinking about getting what I want

One of the most common manipulative techniques is what psychologists call the "fear-then-relief technique."

The technique focuses on a person's emotions. Here, the manipulator causes someone a great deal of stress or anxiety and then abruptly relieves that stress.

After this sudden mood swing, the person is disarmed, and less likely to make mindful or rational decisions, and more likely to respond positively to various requests.

Some examples in popular culture are;-

• The promotion of war - look out for the enemy - they are bad (they probably are to some degree as well) - we are here to save you, come and work for us (volunteer) for a promised possible reward- which you will end up as a slave/lender yourself.

• Insurance companies sales, and advertising - give us your earned money and we'll pay out if a disaster hits you - (so long as you meet all the other 15 + conditions, you are a low risk, and we can spare the money at the time).

• Global warming - look it is 'real', all of these scientists say so, and it is on TV - all of the beautiful out of the way holiday or vacation destinations need the scientists, journalists,(and your most unfavorite politicians, and support crew), to stay there studying it - while you work in the office or factory being unable to go on vacation. All true.

• They are all out to get you - come and join us - our group will protect you - many a cult uses this while they strip you of your identity/life/money, then discard you or encourages you to convert the newcomers.

 This fear-then-relief manipulation technique is most popularly portrayed on TV, and by the lower quality cop or government employee in real life - in the classic bad cop/good cop routine: one person frightens and scares you, another saves you, and then you're more willing to hand over information, time, money.

You see this in your everyday life, too - with unskilled managers or people who suggest your job or security is on the line, backtrack, and then say we need to work overtime, as they leave for a long lunch, or maximize their time off at your expense.
Or domestic abusers, who threaten their close ones, hoping they can control their world.

  It is usually more 'effective' when there is more than one factor of threat that can effect the person, or they or their close friends have been in a similar event.

Being such a common technique, if used with a genuine promise in the here and now, or an actually helpful result to the end user - (not the manipulator) - it is accepted and successful.

The secret is that, for you to use it, giving the other party what they thought was a fair reward, being aware of it, and protecting yourself. As much as most of us wish for longer, and many esoterics try to sell us - life time in the now is valuable to you, and limited.


Making You Feel Guilty: Social Exchange 
Another common strategy used mostly by unethical marketers, government agencies, con artists, and gangsters is social exchange. Offering of a favor to happen in the future - it wont happen - or a $5- $500 gift in return for a lifetime of donations from you. The item was free to them, or they or their associates will get it back off you later.
The classic example is - take a loan - house mortgage out with us, and we'll give you cash, blankets or a big screen TV when you are approved and start paying us.
Sorry to say, this has been factored in the earnings of the lender - much like the indigenous tribes of many countries being deceived out of their lifetime use of their land with a few colored blankets, and trinkets.

An everyday example: A co-worker or 'friend' will dramatically remind you about that time they bailed you out big time in the past, then use that as leverage every time he/she needs something. Or someone who loaned you money or knows a secret of yours could continually blackmail you into doing what they want.

Short term trinkets that are fashionable are very appealing to most people, and they will quickly hand over their long term assets - be it land or time to the more aware person who has a long term plan.

Priming You With a Small Request: The Foot-in-the-Door Technique

This technique is subtle, and simple. With the foot-in-the-door method, someone asks you to do a very small and easy request, like a survey, or some small actions for a few dollars, and then follows up with the real request.

Everyday example: A panhandler or street person who asks you for the time, then asks you to spare some change. They will then hold out their hand for a moment longer as if to say is that all? More please, I need to buy ???
Or rewarding a dog with a small treat, so it will always bring in the newspaper for example - treats or no more treats - just a thankyou pat.

By getting you to say yes to one request, you're more likely to say yes to a second one, much like the pet dog.

Reciprocation, is how humanity functions as a whole - which is partly why stealing/fraud is punished for most of us. 

If both parties are getting what they consider is 'fair', it works wonderfully - most genuinely successful people make a 'sandwich' out of it; a small offering once, twice, three times - then the larger request being fulfilled - followed by some small things unexpected once, twice, three times.

Avoiding These Manipulations

• In all walks of life, there are overly self-focused people - it is not so much not falling victim to them. Yet more, keeping them out of your life, and valuing your life, sharing what you want to share with them only.

• Nearly every manipulator uses emotions and emotional transference, so whenever you feel a surge in  emotions. You're more vulnerable at that time to do things unconsciously and at the suggestion of others.  The cheapest for the advertiser/manipulator is this general formula: [Something terrible] could have happened to you, but it [didn't/won't]. [Now do this]. It only costs you -$x down.

• Life is full of it when you look, and some very pseudo-wealthy people seem greatly skilled at it.

The idea for you is to be aware of the long term for you, and avoid giving away the short term, for the future. The sandwich idea above will bring you the greatest rewards - more so than most.

 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
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