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| The Cult of one. |
Which is only natural, as that is our primary learning method. A carryover of security seeking from our youth.
-----Often at times recreating a familiar, unresolved scene with newer characters later in life.
In this context - people who do this without much work and knowledge of the dynamics of manipulation, will be helpless to their natural inclinations and will possibly respond just as they did within the original settings.
Time for that to change for you.
To escape the Influence, coercion, and manipulation.
Ignoring the many opportunists - particularly those we call criminals, who find ways of making themselves 'indispensable' during someone’s hour of need. Most people who find themselves in abusive situations will only occasionally get there by accident.
- They either accepted or tolerated the behaviours
- the initial payoff was an ideal or necessity at the time
- the promises of the future matched their dream or perceived ideal
- they had yet to learn the deceit of others
- they had yet to acknowledge their own equal rights - to themselves
- they have yet to learn how to communicate their needs without threatening the (immature) abuser
- they pretended to ignore or accept the excuses for the 'red flags.'
Cults can be large or small, and most generally have a guru that controls individuals or small groups of individuals. Sometimes a one-on-one manipulative relationship between two individuals shows all the same dynamics of a large cult. Sadly, this can also occur when one leaves an abusive setting, be it work, religion, or relationship. When attempting to find support after leaving an abusive setting or circumstance, a person is very likely to encounter others who have the negative effects of abuse themselves. You must be careful to avoid getting caught up long term in a new cult relationship with other survivors, counselors, or other well-meaning people who do not have expertise in recovery from manipulation and abuse. Look for possibility people who are able to move forward without the emotions of fear/hate/anxiety.
A one-on-one cult is really a deliberately manipulative and exploitative intimate relationship between two persons, often involving abuse of the subordinate partner; commonly psychological, and emotional, many times physical - if not direct blows, health and stress induced trauma.
In the one-on-one cult, which we call a relationship, there is a significant power imbalance between the two participants. The stronger uses his (or her) influence to control, manipulate, abuse, and exploit the other.
The relationship may even be more intense than participation in a group cult since all the attention and abuse is focused on one person, often with more damaging consequences. Many marriages or domestic relationships where there is spousal abuse may be this way. If not, the habitual controller, will strip or demean the initially better person, so that they can have some power, - these people do leave clues -
- if their last partner committed suicide or developed nutritional health problems
- started drinking or started taking drugs or started gambling
- they've had a succession of people just up and leave them
- they talk badly about others
- they talk badly about their partner or previous life associates
- they favour their - particularly - horse, over people contact
- their children or parent/s are criminals
Do NOT get into a long term association with these people - they are repeat offenders, and you will never be safe. Quietly, and quickly fade away from their lives. Find someone else.
Other one-on-one cults may be found in bad boss/employee situations, in Christian churches, in therapist/client relationships, in prison officer/prisoner or interrogator/suspect situations, and in teacher/student environments.
Watch for the guru effect, especially from either;- a well presented, or poorly presented extreme.
The most common techniques used include -
- isolation and the provocation of fear;
- alternating kindness and threat to produce disequilibrium;
- the induction of guilt,
- or self-blame,
- the creation of a dependency,
- and enforced learned helplessness - as a way of survival.
The degree to which these features are present in a relationship affects the intensity of control and allows the relationship to be labeled one-sided or abusive.
The similarities between 1- devotion, and 2- the traumatic bonding that occurs between battered individuals and their abusers are striking.
An abused partner is usually made to, or influenced to submit to the following types of behaviors:
- early verbal and/or physical dominance
- sexual restriction as a tool, or sexual over domination
- isolation/imprisonment
- fear arousal and maintenance
- guilt induction expressions of love (for example - dependent on the number or frequency of chocolate bars given.)
- enforced loyalty to the controller
- promotion of powerlessness and helplessness
- expressions of jealousy
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hope-instilling behaviors - required secrecy
The graphic below, shows their overall plan for you.
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Some recommended links to start you on your easier life.....
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Buy Roy Sheppards book -"..Be The One", and read it, and start to work at it
