Dealing with the real estate agent, realtor, the lazy lawyer, or any manipulative person.

Which witch has the power?

Manipulative People. How to Deal with Them?

 

Manipulative people try not to be obvious in their mannerisms, which is part of their learnt deception.

 Whether, they are a difficult marriage partner, bad spouse, or one of the aforementioned, and notably government licensed people, their modus operandi and intent is the same.

They win by either taking from you what is yours, or minimizing its or your life value, and you lose.
In essence, a type of rape - using subterfuge to deceive you for their advantage.

We have come out on top several times, and it is a great feeling, even after that, they've generally pulled the inform the police card - a good reason for you to stay clean.

It takes effort, and time out of your life to deal with these people, and that fulfills their desire of self importance (a personality type - so do beware - this is a significant red flag).

When someone is openly assertive in outlining the requirements, you find it a lot easier to agree on a mutually beneficial outcome.

These other people are afraid of losing the advantage, something like the weak bully, so they will use the lies, half truths, and other mechanisms to trick you.

• A question disguised as a statement 
• Making a personal statement, and pretending it is someone else's
• Guilt trips
• Confrontational statements
• The "silent treatment"
• The "no way out" question
• Lies

1. A question disguised as a statement
Manipulative people hate asking questions because it means they may lose control. So they will use a directive question.
Examples:
"I am wondering why you..."
"Perhaps you could..."
"I wish you could..for us/me"
"I suppose you are going to..."

How to deal with it:
When dealing with manipulative people, answer questions only, not directives. Try to recognize the difference. You must learn to not get deceived by these.
Usually by saying "I can't look at this right now," or "I have to be somewhere in a minute, I'll catch up with you later" will defeat their objective.

2. Making a personal statement and pretending it's someone else's
This allows manipulative people to put the blame on someone else, therefore not taking responsibility for his or her opinion.
Examples:
"We were wondering if you..."
"They said you..."
"She thought you..."
"Everyone thinks you..."

How to deal with it:
Ask who is "we", "they", or "someone" and ask what the manipulator thinks is a solution. Then ignore whatever they have said - saying "I'll have to get some second opinions."

3. Guilt Trips
Manipulative people use statements to make you feel guilty about doing or not doing something. You don't expect it and it blinds your ordinarily good judgment.
Examples:
"I don't you care if...."
"If you loved me..."
"Everyone knows that..."
"Every decent person would..."
"I just knew you would say that!"
"Can't you take a joke?"
"You could never do..."
"I thought that's what you wanted"

How to deal with it:
Recognize the manipulative statement. If you can, reduce your exposure to the statement because they are trying to get it to stick to you. Whenever you hear it, just say "No", then "No", then "No" thanks.

4. Confrontational Statements:
 Those statements are used to put you on the defensive. If you play the manipulator's game, you will end up in a fight without knowing how it started.
Examples:
"Why do you always..."
"Do you expect me to..."
"I can't believe you would..."
"I thought we were going to..."
"Why should I have to..."
"I've been told that..."
"How could you..."
"Why don't you..."
"Did you hear me?"
"Well, does that mean that I have to..."
"I thought you..."
"Don't you think you (we) should..."
"Are you telling me..."
"I thought we agreed..."

How to deal with it:
Let things slide. Don't respond to their bad behavior, or demean yourself by apologizing.
You can choose not to fight by using one of the following replies:
"I'll have to think about that"
"We can talk later."
"I prefer it like that"
"I need to check with..."
"You're right" (and drop the subject)

5. The "Silent Treatment"
Manipulative people may stop talking to you altogether and want to find out how long it will take before you crack. This is a standard sales technique, and taken to its extreme is how they get control.

How to deal with it:
Simply say "Let me know when you feel like talking" and nothing else. Act like it is no big deal. Get busy with something else and put a smile on your face. If you crack now, they'll use this tactic again and again. Be aware that sometimes people need time to think things out, especially when they are angry. Mostly they will say, "I need some time out."

6. The "No Way Out" question
You are being asked a question and you think you are given a choice, but the answer has already been decided by the manipulator. The question shouldn't be the time of the appointment, but whether you want an appointment at all. After such a question, there is a pregnant pause and, since you are programmed to respond to a conversational pause by offering to help, you jump in and do whatever the manipulator wants you to do.
Examples:
"Would you like an appointment at 6:15 or 6:30?"
"Do you want the red one or the blue one?"
"Don't you think that...?"
"Aren't you happy that..."
"Have you stopped beating your wife?"

How to deal with it:
Be prepared to use one of those replies:
"I'll let you know"
"I'll have to think about that"
"No thanks"
"I disagree, I think you are mistaken/wrong"
"Sorry, I'm not interested"


7. Lies
- They add unnecessary details to an explanation.
- When you ask for an explanation or a clarification, they pause, or pretend not to know something,  even though they should know the answer.
- Hands to the face, twirling a pen, or in their pockets.
- They may be laughing nervously.
- They are not looking at you while speaking, or look at you too intensely.
- They will change the topic of the conversation.
- You feel something is wrong and your body may start reacting.
 He/she may start asking questions to put the focus on you, will start accusing you, or may be evasive saying "Oh well that all depends..." "I'm not sure...", or may change the subject completely.

How to deal with it:
With a compulsive liar, you have to accept that you will be deceived or let down. If you think you need them in your life, avoid any agreements you can, especially legal ones. Document and record and confirm all responses. Absolutely hide your copies safely, and privately. Reduce your contact time, and avoid questions. Don't ask a liar for anything and don't do anything for him/her either. Start to be self-reliant and financially and emotionally free.

Some Words of Caution

Remember that manipulative people are often so well practiced, that they use this as their only means of relating with the rest of society.
Many of the pseudo-wealthy, and 'experts' are masters at these deceptions. Something like the child's story of Rumpelstiltskin - they do not at any cost want to be exposed, and lose their 'power.'

For your own safety and well-being, refrain from addressing the issues; - they are always abusive when they or their offspring are held to account - use an anonymous tack towards an authority in their lives - Read the Miss Battles post.- and LEAVE, there are 17 billion people in the world, some good, be around them - not be poisoned by these ones.

Again - Whether, they are a difficult relationship partner, colleague, or especially government licensed people, their modus operandi and intent is the same. Watch for the 'entitlement' attitude.

They win by either taking from you what is yours, or minimizing its or your life value, and you lose.
In essence, a type of rape - using subterfuge to deceive you for their advantage, with their false entitlement.


  Recommended links to help you.....

• Patricia Evan's books:- Recognizing and dealing with verbal abuse. (read them all!)

• George Simon's books:- Dealing with manipulative people. (buy and read them all!)

• 'The Dangerous Woman'  or  'Venus the dark side'  -- Both Highly recommended reads

Live Tarot readers - to find a new direction - for you today.


Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition  






Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.
 Make money by putting LOVE first and Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Become Self Assertive, and more a Confident you, from today with -

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Assertiveness training, stress handling techniques by the world famous David Bonham-Carter.

Getting money to leave your situation. Be it a bad boss, place or relationship

Alone and looking out for the danger

Many times we are either stuck in place, or being held in a bad place or relationship by our own mistakes or a controlling person.

A few dollars or shekels reluctantly handed over at times, when we are at the end of our tether.

Many pseudo-wealthy use this technique to maximize their control (abuse), just within the margins of the law.

Like the pseudo-wealthy, there is not much use bringing someone to account while they are doing it, unless you can invoke an authority they will listen to - (it doesn't have to be yours, and is better if it isn't really.)

Seriously, we must extricate ourselves (get out of the bad place), and prevent it happening again to us.


Both domestic abusers, and bad bosses or employers do give away their tendencies early on.

Yet for now we must re-establish ourselves.....

6 Ways to Be Financially Independent From a Controlling person

Don’t lose hope.

Keep trying. If you’ve been with a controlling husband or wife or partner – or importantly - a critical person – for a long time, you may feel hopeless. This is their plan, to make you feel inadequate so they won't lose you. In psychology, your perception is called 'learned helplessness.' You may believe you’ll never learn how to become financially independent because your abuser keeps telling you that you need them to survive, and in some way/s you are not good enough. Don’t lose hope! Remember that others have got out of these sort of situations too. You Must Leave these people - they will replace you with a better deal on a whim.

Remember that; interdependence' is more a help here than 'independence'

Interdependence means you’re part of a community that supports each other. This community might be a neighbor, a workplace, a book club, a walking or gardening group, somewhere you can have a clear thinking space. Note - not a conversational pity party, or verbal bashing place - negative realism is good,- forward action is what will help you most. When you’re learning how to become financially independent in a controlling situation, focus on finding a network or community of people that you can rely on – and who can rely on you. Do connect with others, be interdependent, even for a short while.

Find people who found financial independence themselves

The best way to learn how to become financially independent with you’re in a controlling relationship, or situation is to connect with others who have 'Been There, Done That.'
They may be able to guide you in the right direction. DO NOT use a banker, lawyer, or their associates, as your mentor or guide. Those groups are there to do what you tell them to do, and they will only work for their advantage - not yours - ever.
Try for an honest business man or woman, with some years of experience, or a trusted Rabbi or priest.

Humble yourself

It’s very difficult for most productive people to ask for financial help. Applying for government assistance, researching housing allowances for single parents with children, or similar - finding ways to support yourself is a humbling (or worse) experience. It need only be temporary, and you can pay it back in the future, in real form or volunteering. If it is restart to a more productive life - you can justify it to yourself.

LISTEN to financial advice about how you handle money

If you aren’t a financially independent now, maybe you were never taught how to handle money or balance a budget. Maybe you enjoy spending money, as most of us do; – and think -- maybe you married a controlling partner so you had an external source of structure.

Again, the successful impartial honest - business person or religious minister, may be your best source of advice - do avoid government sponsored programs, unless you get to deal with a very old retired adviser with a positive empathetic attitude. Like the lawyers, bankers, etc the government programs are there for their benefit, not yours at all.

Be a burden

"I have no family support and I don’t want to burden anyone,"..... "I want out of this marriage/relationship/job so bad, but I don’t have the money to leave. She/He knows I can’t make it on my own financially, and they always want me to pay something so I have no money left from my paycheck."
This is unbelievably common - as if it is a standard operations procedure taught to abusers - and we are so often led into this place.

No normal person wants to be a burden on their kids, friends, family, or coworkers! But on occasion you can succeed a lot easier with getting help from others. You will return the favor in the future, right?
Again be very suspicious of the bankers, mortgage, or finance brokers - avoid them in fact, they are there to further their own aims, not yours. A temporary written agreement that you repay as soon as you can, between friends etc., is always better.

Financial independence will cost you time, energy, resolve, humility, and focus. But the rewards are really worth it!

Be Aware now, and once you 'escape,' always have a reserve of even survival money - unknown, and usually untouchable - you can have it all over the world nowadays - so long as it is tax paid money, and ownership proven - it is legal and moral to do so - do keep it out of the public view.
Feel free to contact us in confidence to know how.




Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple...

  Patricia Evan's books:- Recognizing and dealing with verbal abuse. (buy and read them all!)

 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.



Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -

25 Easy Ways To unlock the door way to success, and close it on failure

The power within ourselves to select our...

There seems to be as many thoughts and ways to success as their are US dollars in the world.

Sometimes, as well as focusing on the possibilities, and positive ambitions in your life, it pays equally as well to limit, or expunge (get rid of) a few of the unhelpful ones that block or slow our path.

As you read on, think of the best ways to deal with them for you just now, and to be really sure of your success write them  into a private journal, so you can look back upon your progress.

There are some nice journals you can get from  Amazon online - get one and continue your journey with ease.

So we begin the journey to notice and remove the road-blocks in our life.....

1-Distractions that keep you from special moments with special people. – Particularly your children, your chosen life partners and friends, and surprisingly yourself.
Count your mutual blessings, and appreciate what you have, be it time, things, or surroundings.  Let go for a little while and just BE in the world. There are 2 easy-to-read book authors that will add a lot of this value to your life;- 1) Carlos Castaneda, and 2) Marianne Williamson, buy several of their books and read them once or twice each year.

2-Compulsive busyness. – Note the similarity to the word business, activity is good- yet with an end purpose gives you a bigger reward. Schedule time each day to not be busy, many people say early am, if you aren't ready for that don't force it. You are better to take 15 minutes of quiet time at lunchtime, or even just after your day has ended, than create a failure reminder. Many call it meditation, reflection, or visualization time; do use it to rest your mind .

3-Negative thinking about your current situation. – Life is a mirror; we get the best results when we smile.  So talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems, both to yourself and to others. Success often requires some change to get there.

4-The needless drama around you. – Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you. There are people other than you paid to deal with most of that. Focus on the positives, and the negatives will begin to fade away.

5-The desire for everything you don’t have. – No, you won’t always get exactly what you want, but happiness comes to those who do appreciate what they already have, and build upon it.

6-Comparing yourself to everyone else. – Social comparison is the thief of happiness. and the manipulation of your loan or credit card provider. You can spend a lifetime worrying about what others have, but the envy wont assist you in getting you everything.

7-Thinking about who you were or what you had in the past. – You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago.  You’re always growing.  Experiences don’t stop.

8-Worrying about the mistakes you’ve made. – Let your mistakes be your motivation to work out a different approach or response, not your excuses.

9-Worrying about what everyone thinks and says about you. –You honestly can’t spend your life changing how people treat you or what they say about you. What you can do is change how you react and who you choose to be around.

10-Self-deception. – The first and best change you can take is to be honest with yourself.

11-A life path that doesn’t feel right. – Life is to be enjoyed, not endured.  When you truly believe in what you’re doing, it shows, and it pays.

12-Everyone else’s definition of success and happiness. – You can’t base your idea of success and happiness on other people’s opinions and expectations. Some of them are either too low, or a way of controlling you for their benefit.

13-Those who insist on using and manipulating you. – What you allow is what will continue.  Give as much as you predetermine, but don’t allow yourself to be used.  Do empathize with others, but don’t lose your own voice in the process.

14-Trying to impress everyone. – One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like us, and that’s perfect.

15-All the fears holding you back. – Fear is a perception, not a fact;- sometimes a valid warning, sometimes an indicator of a needed change. The best way to gain strength and self-confidence is to have a go at what you’re afraid to do.

16-Doubting and second-guessing yourself. – When in doubt just take the next small step.  Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the most positive choice.

17-People who continuously dump on your dreams. – It’s better to forge ahead alone, than allow negative people and their opinions derail you from your path. Others will crush your dreams.  Do just once what they say you can’t do, and you will either escape their mediocrity or inspire them.

18-Thinking the perfect time will come. – There are perfect moments - it is better you make and appreciate them. Let others wait for the perfect moment.  Sometimes you must dare to do it because life is too short to wonder what could have been.

19-'Band-Aids' and temporary fixes. – Sometimes necessary; --you must act, and accept these will fail, and ensure you have replacements set up to work for the long term. Deal with problems directly before they might deal with you.

20-Close-minded judgments. – Open your mind before you open your mouth.  Don’t hate what you don’t know.  Opportunities are there for you.

21-Other people’s mistakes and oversights. – Be tolerant of people’s mistakes and oversights, it simply means they are human. If it is important to your success, avoid them, guide them, or learn a new way from the experience.

22-Resentment. – Kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness, nor any forgiveness for acceptance.  It’s about knowing that resentment is valid, yet a huge time soak away from your goals. Move on, and learn for yourself.

23-Any prejudicial thoughts. –Treat everyone with empathy, even those who are rude to you – not because they are a pain, but because you are an example. 

24-Regrets of any kind. – You don’t have to be defined by the things you once did or didn’t do.  Don’t let yourself be controlled by regret.  Maybe there’s something you could have done differently, or maybe not.

25-Make moves to improve yourself.- Learn from the bad - what to change for the good, and do learn from the good what does work.
Learn from observing success in others, they may not tell you their 'secrets' - yet you will notice their actions and responses.

“Dost thou love life?  Then do not squander time,
for that’s the stuff life is made of.”
―Benjamin Franklin. 

Recommended links to help you now......

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Grow yourself online in the privacy of your own home
 


Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.
 

Is it better to be alone for a while, than in bad company? Red flags to pay attention to.

Bare maiden making her own way in life

Ideally, you would surround yourself with people who make you a better person and let go of those who don’t. Sometimes we are in we think someplace or somewhere too deep, and at a point in life, determined for us by others.

Bad company can be inspiring in the real sense, that it lets us or brings us to a place in our life that 'forces' us to begin to change for the better.

We must be alert to the often well hidden indicators of bad influence. It is always better to prevent a disease, rather than deal with the aftermath if at all possible. Many of the qualities listed below must awaken you to your own value and inspire you to choose your own life path.

Some other people will only......

1.  Make time for you when it’s convenient for them.

Don’t use too much of your time with someone who only wants you around when only it’s convenient for them. You shouldn’t have to force someone to make a space in their life for you, or be in a relationship with someone who overlooks your worth. Know that you are self-worthy, and do move ahead. It’s obvious, but any relationship without regular interaction and communication is going to have problems, especially when there’s a lack of commitment.

2.  They hold your past against you.

Some people will refuse to accept that you are no longer who you used to be – that you’ve made mistakes in the past, learned from them, and moved past them.  They may not be accept that you’re growing and moving on with your life, and they will try to control you. Keep moving forward.

3.  You feel trapped.

Healthy relationships leave the doors and windows wide open.  Plenty of acceptance is flowing and no one feels trapped.  Relationships do thrive in this kind of unrestricted environment.  You, or your partner can come and go as you please, but you choose to stay because where you are is where you want to be.
 

4.  They discredit your dreams and abilities.

If you allow others to define your dreams and abilities, then you let them to hold you back.  What you’re capable of achieving is not a function of what other people think is possible for you.  It depends a lot on what you choose to do with your time and energy. They of course will try to get you to devote time and energy only towards them.
  Do look beyond the presumptions and limitations of others, and  en-vision of how YOUR life can be. And move towards it.

5.  They have lied to you more than once.

Love is an activity, no matter what the mass media tell you. Love is not just feelings of passion and romance between lovers; it is an approach and behavior among friends and family.  If someone lies to you, more than a couple of times - they do not value your relationship. You must address the events, and resolve them, or limit your contact in those areas they have trouble with. Be it all, or in part.

6.  Their negativity is rubbing off on you.

The negative people in your life don’t just behave negatively towards you, but towards life.  What they say and do is a projection of their own reality – their own inner challenges.
This is important to remember because what these negative people say and do shouldn’t be taken to heart.  Although you don’t have control over what they say and do; you do have control over whether or not you allow them to say and do these things to you. Remember they cannot tip dirty water into the bucket if the lid is closed.

7.   They are excessively envious of what you have.

Envy is not OK, when someone is envious of what you have, there’s a good chance what they really want is to steal it from you. Either show them how they can get a similar (or to them a better thing), or dispose of them as surely as you can.
(That doesn't mean to kill them, as much as that might be the right thing to do - the best way is to use an authority they respect in their life to control them in a direction away from you-)
Excessive envy doesn’t tell you how much someone admires you, it tells you how much they dislike themselves.

8.  They motivate you to be judgmental or hateful.

Some people are avoidable, and some types even more so. Yet to tell a personality quickly you find out how they talk about others - this is the real them.
If you judge others as a group by their culture, religion, skin color, or their outer beauty, you do miss something good about who they really are.
People who motivate you to judge or hate others are bad company. They will turn on you as soon as it's needed to for their own gratification.
Some groups, and their belief systems, are ones you do want to be around,  do move with your feet, rather than your mouth - you will more easily get to where you want.

9.  They want you to be someone else.

If someone expects you to be someone you’re not, take a step back. Ask yourself, and then them, why?
Maybe you could be on the path to a better life - make sure it is yours - not theirs.  It’s wiser to lose relationships over being who you are, than to keep them intact by pretending to be like someone you’re not.

Thought for the day: Be aware of the ways the insecure use to hold you. 

Move forward, and keep moving forward. There are some good people in the world, it is up to you to invite and welcome, and be a little attractive to the good into your life

Recommended links to help you now

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -

pic courtesy of Bare maidens

Re-write our life history - Living without regret is it possible?

Looking outside of the fog created

Honesty with ourselves,- can you answer the questions of regret? And is it really possible to get past it all?  

Do not be wanting to be impressive to others. – When you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really wanted to be.


You don’t have to be perfect to impress and inspire lesser quality people.  Let them live their own lives, their ambition level is theirs to own.

Letting someone else create your dreams for you. – Sometimes you’ll do things considered different by others, and a lot of times they will either overtly, or with subterfuge try and keep you in their safe space. To be standing your ground and walking your own path, is a better choice than living a life of subservience.

Keeping negative company. – Don’t let someone who has a bad attitude give it to you. They can’t tip dirty water into the bucket if the lid is closed. Do remember that keeping the company of negative people is a choice, instead of an obligation. And do insulate yourself from them, they try and control their diminishing world, by removing other peoples lives.

Being selfish and egotistical. – A life focused on you is good - yet to be manipulative or gross in your demands will attract the multitudes of either parasites or 'defenders of the right' to you, and they will reciprocate the damage you cause.

Avoiding change and growth. – Growth, and adaption to positive circumstances are your ideal. To not do so, is to rot like an old fruit, or cabbage, with its attendant distaste.

Giving up when the going gets tough. – Even if things don’t turn out the way you had expected, don’t be too disheartened or give up.  Learn the ways and things that didn't work this time, and the parts that did.  Refresh your mind, and keep moving forward.

Trying to micromanage every little thing. – Life is better in results, and experience being guided, not strangled. To pay attention to the details is important, yet to form and operate a standard approach to include them is easier than trying to actively control them all, or other people.

Settling for less than you design. –Those that compromise make easy customers, it is better for you design your own life and pursue it with a little persistence - and adaption.

Endlessly waiting until tomorrow. – The trouble is, often there won’t be any more time to work on the things you’ve always wanted to do.  And at that point you either will have achieved the goals you set for yourself, or you will have a list of excuses for why you haven’t.

Being lazy and vague. – The world doesn’t owe you anything, or anyone else either really. Allow yourself have some responsibility for your life – take control one thing at a time. And then another, and so on. After a short while you will be getting what you want, rather than what others may or may not dispense you.

Recommended links to help you now

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -

To be Self reliant, Self determined, Self motivated and a little Selfish - isn't Success lonely?

Choosing a successful life

A successful life does mean that you are and can be self reliant, self determined, self disciplined, and in charge of your own destiny. 

Your fate is in the hands of you, and no-one else. You do get to to plan your life, and it's path.

Lonely- not really, you don't have the same amount, or thankfully the same type of friends as a less successful person.

You get to be selective, because you know the rules of -

1- contagion of failure, and negativity.
2- to others you appear as you seem to be, so you do avoid the lower echelons.
3- you know the value of time and life, and........
4- better thinking people do offer better opportunities to each other.


Consequently, there being more authentic people in this group, you have less, and more reliable friends, than perhaps the person happy with their regular employment.

Being a 'lone wolf,' as it has been called, and doing things your own way can give you more flexibility to  be with the ones you care about.

Being a 9-5er, or in fact whatever set hours you work - takes time away from you in a structured way, that could have been spent with your family and friends.

Being successful, allows you to incorporate different events into your schedule, small but valuable pockets of time.

To be alone at times, gives you essential time to reflect (meditate), and revise, and plan - without the influential chatter of society - which is not your most helpful guide.

It is not so much to be alone. You meet people, you are around people. Now you actually get the choose to have people in your association or not.

A secret- your friends encourage your success or not by emotional reinforcement. It could be time to be a reliable friend to some additional people, who allow you to be successful. The choice is yours.

If the right people don’t want to be around you then that is a problem you can start to correct.

Instead of alcohol, or some other diversion, that costs you, invest a little energy for self-improvement, and then a little action day by day.

Human beings are trained to be social creatures and most end up needing the company of humans.
In prison, and school, solitary confinement or an exclusion is used as a punishment. Yet that doesn't mean you need them all in your life. Choose those who are best for you.

It is better to not require constant attention, approval or validation from family, friends, peers and colleagues. They won't give it to you all, because of their fears, envy and personal insecurities.

It is better for you, to be driven from within. Their approval and validation may come with time and success but it won’t come from playing by their rules.


If you are worried about being alone, don’t let your loneliness become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Work out what you want, and what type of people you would like in your life -
 Even the puppy fat blonde seeking a wealthy husband to support her lifestyle thinks, plans ahead, and acts to get her reward. (Mostly she fails to maintain the effort to keep it going- but you can change this for you.)
Copy her programme, not her grasping philosophy, and you will succeed.

Be the person you wish to be and one that other people you value might feel OK about being with. It really is all up to you, and it is more rewarding for you that way.

Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple...

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.







Become Self Assertive, and more a Confident you, from today with -

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition  


   
photo courtesy pixabay

24 Ways To Be Attractive to Women, Aren't they just a parasite? or are they of value?

Attractive and knowing it.

Firstly ask yourself some questions;

1; Will you tolerate the existence of a parasite in your life?

2; How long can you handle supporting this parasite and their hosts?

3; Have you, or are you developing the strength to protect yourself?

4; What parts of your life, and your dreams are you willing to give up?

5; Are the rewards worth it? How can you make them worth it?

*****

90 % of western woman, particularly UK, US, AU, and NZ, and to a degree Scandinavian, and Canadian - have been brought up on the Hollywood fairy-tales of old, or the X-factor of today. 

(Sadly, the eastern Europe, Russian, and Asian beauties are heading this way too- their advantage, is there have been less generations exposed to the propaganda.)

These have shown these woman, their mothers with unlived lives, and their friends - that to look shiny - without any real contribution gets you picked from the crowd - to a life of eternal bliss and recognition. All at of course, other peoples cost and effort.


So this is the market you may have to choose from, Now either-

1; Move cultures and countries,
 (If you can find somewhere untouched by Hollywood - your chances will be better--possibly Mars, or even the Moon.)

2; Use the 90% as practice for the rare 10% - ensuring you have had a vasectomy, and avoid all the other traps they will try to use.
NB the 10% are often disguised, they definitely won't be blonde or coloured hair, employed by any part of government, or a horse rider.
All indicators of an easily duped, needy or dependent emotional manipulator.

3;Avoid all women, or men in that thinking zone

4;Accept the market situation, and show yourself in your best light to get some rewards, protecting yourself and your future.

*****

Numbers 2 and 4 being close to most peoples reality - read below.

These new qualities will give you the edge, to succeed. 
Read through and study them all, then take one a week, and start on it, and keep going to build  an amazing life.



1) Look Tall – Hold your posture well. Women want to look up to a man, literally and figuratively.

Learn Reiki, or the Alexander technique. Yoga is good - an older male teacher is best to get you started.
The woman or ego filled young 'male' will try to emasculate you sooner or later - keep them aware of where the money is coming from, and/or take what you have learnt and do it at home.

2) Be Rich – A rich man is a magnet to a beautiful woman. You'll often see the decorative girls in the company of the wealthy.

3) Be Handsome – You will find some people say "Looks don’t matter". A woman likes to be looked up to by her friends with an undercurrent of envy. Looks matter to them – make yourself look the best you can.

4) Be Physically fit – If you are in shape, you can handle both the good and the bad, from her and her world. Mostly it gives you more confidence too.Try The 12 week muscle building program By Brad Pilon M.Sc.

5) Be Highly Confident – You’ve seen the guy in the bar with the sideways baseball cap and the pathetic blonde on his arm following him. Women love the guys we call rubbish. Because the woman are inadequate in themselves, they think they need a protector - be confident enough to give that impression. (You don't need the bar or other loose tart, being with a real and easy confidence attracts a better quality person to you.)

6) Do Not Supplicate to Her – Like a pet almost, they like the security when someone else is in control. Keep her under control if she is not in the equal contribution group, not her keeping you.

7) Be Funny but not Self-Deprecating – Women need to be teased, as this has been their life to date, but they do not love when you make fun of yourself.
Study successful comedians, that do not depreciate others. Mr Bean is pretty good at it.
She wants to look up to you - so don’t tear yourself down, even in a joking manner.

8) Do Not Be Needy – Needy people are used by people or avoided. Get some self reliance started. These woman have been trained from a toddler to express their needs - yours mean nothing to them, unless they get there own way at some point.

9) Don’t be a Nice Guy – You don’t have to be mean or rude to all women, you just don’t ever want to be thought of as a "nice guy"- they get concerned you'll be taken from them, or taken advantage of - then them losing their security.

10) Be Pre-occupied with Your Own World – Make her a part of your world. Whatever you are excited about she will have to learn to be genuinely interested in as well.
If not - confine your time to the one aspect she may offer you, and focus on your life, and associating with others that support this.
There are many women interested in guy's pursuits e.g. hunting, fishing,cars.trucks etc. Do not become a part of her world – do not stay at home and watch chick flicks and TV shows about gay dancers or whatever that is that’s popular right now.
Do your own thing and make sure it is a priority for you. If you have nothing going on then start a new hobby and work on that.

11) Don’t be Too Available – It might seem like she wants a full time handbag (be very aware these get changed as soon as her friends comment on them). What most want is to know you are there for them - and not in bed with someone else. If you are - plan wisely to succeed.

12) Have Excellent Style – Give her an excuse to come and talk to you. Smile often, and be happy with life.
Clothe yourself  to give the impression of security - even charity shop clothes can look amazing - get the women assistants on your side with a story.

13) Make Decisions – When she says "what do you want for dinner?" you say shall we have-"Roast partridge with everything, and then dessert and wine".
Don’t play the "I dunno, what do you want?" game, or "I'd love rice, vegan, fried turtle toenails or locust eggs because you love them."
1- Nearly every western educated woman thinks either white rice, or McDonalds is a superior nutrition choice - you will die before 60 eating their fashionable food choices
and 2- They want to be lead, as this is their life training.

14) Be Assertive in Bed – Women do not like timidity, especially in the bedroom. Be a Gentleman in public, be a caveman in private. By all means study the  Kama Sutras together....and practice them, but you suggest the next move.

15) Do Not Fall for Internet Pick-Up Artist (PUA) advice – These programs. have a few good ideas, but even the lowest qualilty woman see through them, and now you. Concentrate on this list here, and be yourself.

16) Do not take advice from women about how to win a woman’s heart –Not even your mother, if you really get on with a close sister - maybe. They will lie to your face and tell you to be nice, buy her things, bring her roses and all the other things destined to diminish you. They will also lie to other women and say things like ....no, you aren’t fat! You should eat what you want! Your haircut doesn’t make you look like a boy, it’s super cute!
As inadequate beings, competition by any means is their mantra.

17) Give up Masturbation and Internet Porn - Porn is good for retraining your mind to accept different behaviors or norms. Also to see that there are some attractive women in the world - who do take care of themselves, and know how to act . Use the contact form if you want some good sites.
Reducing your attention to it, will do wonders for your confidence, your energy levels, your ambition and your charisma.
Masturbation on your own, is a good quick biochemical release, yet you will get more of a better quality woman when you can mentally control your 'hormones.' Buy and read Napoleon Hill's books.


18) Don’t Be Scared to Say Hi – Picking up women is simply a numbers game. If you see a desirable girl on the street, and she gives you some eye contact, go ahead and say "hi". "Hello" is a bit formal, "hi" is much better. To get over that fear of talking to women make a deal with yourself to say hi to 5 girls one day, 6 girls the next day, 7 girls the next - all ages and types - (remember the competition thinking; they are watching) - and so on until it’s a matter of habit. Next thing you know they want to talk to, and be with you..

19) Be skillful at something - Better you are not a showoff or blowhard, you'll only attract groupies with STD's, or baby factories looking to strip you of your assets and life. Do hide your wallet.
Having a skill, craft, or work even music, cooking, dog training, fly-fishing, sports etc, or other - allows them to look up to you, and talk to their 'friends' about you (respect.) And you enjoy your life.

20) Make sure you know there are many good women; best not to tell them this, yet if you have this true belief- your confidence and attractiveness will bring you many rewards.

21) Stay clean- STD's are an inconvenience at best, keep yourself clean, and assume they are not, until proven otherwise. Shower or bathing, and mouth washing immediately before sex should be an absolute, say something about now you love the feel of them after a shower/bath; and if you have sex for more than a couple of hours at a time - take a break, both of you shower/sauna/swim or bathe - then return to the fun.
Clean yourself between partners if you have more than one; - as well as freshening up by bathing, spermicidal gels are a good and socially acceptable inter-partner disinfectant, even if you have worn a condom.
(Read the label before applying, and follow the instructions.)

22) Get a vasectomy- it costs only a little, especially compared to a lifetime of emotional or financial drain; it should really be every lad's 14 year old birthday present.
Get affidavits receipts, and the clinical report following to show the success of it, and upload them somewhere private and safe - say DriveHQ . Keep it all to yourself, and have fun.
It can be reversed when needed, and there are many little children that need adopting - if this woman is suggesting children or talking about them, - Can you afford you, her, and them for the next 20 plus years??
Does she have a plan that she will act on to help you??- if not find a better deal - she will.

23) Get other people talking about you - most of my film, music, and TV personality friends find it easy to collect women or men of their choice.
Again, all the woman wants to do is is to satisfy her mother's unlived life, or be the top reptile in her gossip group of friends.
  As pathetic as that is - that is their destiny - so you may as well capitalize on it.
Doesn't need to be fame so much, more societal recognition with spending money. As many a priest, or guru will tell you. Do stick to what you want - good people in any pastime or work with other people's promotion is the aim.

24) Travel- It allows you to see all the choices in the world, it makes you appealing to her, as you can talk about all these mystical places with all the future that promises - It indicates you can focus on a goal and are unafraid to go through it.
 It gives her a concern you are a free spirit, so she will have to work at the relationship to be part of it - have you read and done #22 above?? Be aware of being trapped, there are only 10% of woman suitable for a partnership at best.

NB. If at any time they minimize you or your things, and do it once more after you've told them nicely that this is a better way to speak or think - find a new one as quietly and quickly as you can,
One does not tear down a money machine still expecting cash next week.

These woman are disposable, no matter even if they look beautiful, are ok in bed (there is always better), or wealthy- and you must allow yourself better.  

There are plenty more, just waiting for you now.

Go back and start with 8-9 of the above traits and you will see the change in women. 

Remember that 90 % of western woman, are brought up, trained by society and advertising, to be dependent passives; - you like in life must take charge to get anything close to what you want. 

The real truth is that you need to concentrate on your success and life, you do need to be the master of your own domain, and you do need to bring her into your world and not drop into her world (like always watching chick flicks, or eating diet food or white rice and chocolate biscuits every Friday night), and you need to hold yourself to a masculine standard.

You choose some of the furniture in your domain.

If you are not a woman, you don't need to act like one. Nor should she act like a 'man.'

Appreciate her, encourage her partnership with your life if you trust her, or trust her in the areas you might trust her - do not worship her, save that for the gods.
Then she has her psychic needs met and you will get your needs met, everybody is happy.




Some recommended links to start you on your better life.....

Buy Roy Sheppards book - "..Be The One", and read it, and start to work at it


Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.







Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Plan your next escape ; - you choose where to - with Webjet.

 

Again - check these girls out to find a good woman

photo courtesy of pixabay