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| Some ideals are constant- the art of manners. |
Step 3: Lovable Habits
Your inner development works best when supported by outer actions.
Actions are seen as a reflection of yourself, which of course they are.
What you do sadly tells people much about who you are. “Actions speak louder than words.”
As always actions have a more positive effect than talk.
As you develop into a more lovable person on an inner level, so your habits should reflect this. There is much to be said in how an individual treats others. We are drawn to people who are thoughtful and considerate. On the other hand, we are repelled by those who are rude and selfish. This isn't to say that all mannerly people are attractive. Those who are not genuine are as noxious as rude persons, but in other ways.
- Your mission is to be genuine. Like attracts like, as a comfort factor mostly.
- If you fall into the trap of being pretentious, you will pretty well attract people of a similar nature.
- If you are genuine, you will attract people who are honest and forthright.
- It is not enough to adopt a set of habits just to look good. You do need to back them up with the right attitudes.
Many of us have known someone whose behavior was exceptionally crude. It may have been their language, demeanor or lack of awareness, and response. You avoid including them. He or she may be a good person, but their behavior offends people.
The antidote is to develop the kind of behavior that people find acceptable. It is easier than you may think. The best remedy is basic manners.
- Make sure “Please” and “Thank You” are part of your everyday vocabulary.
- Minimize the use of swearing and vulgar references.
- Show consideration for those around you.
- Avoid doing things that might make them uncomfortable.
- Learn to be tolerant of the shortcomings of others without being a doormat.
- Use good, basic table manners when eating. Few people want to eat in the company of a slob. (You don't need to know how to use all the extra forks at a fancy dinner, just be pleasant.)
The Secret:- People who behave better will find themselves welcome in more places.
As you begin to develop your lovability, work to develop lovable habits. They can be the difference between companionship and loneliness.
1:
Meditation: Keeping with the previous two days meditation (keep doing them). Begin this daily thought - choose say a different time initially - lunchtime maybe -Imagine yourself going forth in the world and being welcomed everywhere. See yourself being met favorably. Imagine being invited to places that you have always admired, be they real or fictional. See your own courtesy being well-met. Know that within you, you are lovable and welcome. Know that this energy works through you See it really showing in the way you treat others.
2:
Journal or diary exercise: (You can get nice ones from Amazon if you want.)Take a piece of paper. Two columns. On one side, write down five things about yourself that you think people would find endearing. On the other, write five things which people might find uncomfortable about you. Take only five minutes to do this. When finished, put it away. Forget about it until tomorrow.
3:
Special Exercise: If you have a tendency toward profanity, make a “cuss jar.” Try very hard not to use foul language Every time you and use a vulgar word, put money in the cuss jar. A dollar should be okay. By making yourself pay, you get added incentive to avoid using profanity. this will help minimize your use of it. When finished, donate the money to a good cause.-Say; The Earth Forest Program.
4:
Go back to yesterday’s exercise: Allow yourself half an hour for this revision.Take out this list.
Look over it today, and see which of the things that you decided needing improvement, and the whys.
What little things have you done since you last saw this list, that have started you on the way to your desire? Did your activities work? Why or how can you do them differently to work for you? Write it all down, and what you can do in the next day or so to move on - on this piece of paper or an attached sheet.Put it away in a private space.
We will come back to this one tomorrow, as you see the progress as you improve and develop your strengths.
4:
Go to Amazon or Fishpond books and find a book on social graces and manners:- early 1900-1950's may be your best help - a link is below - and read and observe without desire or criticism -how people in previous ages have dealt with it. The library may be a good place too.
Thought for the Day: Everything I think, do and say is a reflection of myself.
With the help of my God/s, I am really getting better and better.
PS:-Note again how this also works for success in anything.
Part 4 tomorrow..
Recommend links to help you.
◊ Books and goodies - from Amazon
Again - check these girls techniques to learn.
pic courtesy of https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HawardenCameron.jpg-Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons
