Getting money to leave your situation. Be it a bad boss, place or relationship

Alone and looking out for the danger

Many times we are either stuck in place, or being held in a bad place or relationship by our own mistakes or a controlling person.

A few dollars or shekels reluctantly handed over at times, when we are at the end of our tether.

Many pseudo-wealthy use this technique to maximize their control (abuse), just within the margins of the law.

Like the pseudo-wealthy, there is not much use bringing someone to account while they are doing it, unless you can invoke an authority they will listen to - (it doesn't have to be yours, and is better if it isn't really.)

Seriously, we must extricate ourselves (get out of the bad place), and prevent it happening again to us.


Both domestic abusers, and bad bosses or employers do give away their tendencies early on.

Yet for now we must re-establish ourselves.....

6 Ways to Be Financially Independent From a Controlling person

Don’t lose hope.

Keep trying. If you’ve been with a controlling husband or wife or partner – or importantly - a critical person – for a long time, you may feel hopeless. This is their plan, to make you feel inadequate so they won't lose you. In psychology, your perception is called 'learned helplessness.' You may believe you’ll never learn how to become financially independent because your abuser keeps telling you that you need them to survive, and in some way/s you are not good enough. Don’t lose hope! Remember that others have got out of these sort of situations too. You Must Leave these people - they will replace you with a better deal on a whim.

Remember that; interdependence' is more a help here than 'independence'

Interdependence means you’re part of a community that supports each other. This community might be a neighbor, a workplace, a book club, a walking or gardening group, somewhere you can have a clear thinking space. Note - not a conversational pity party, or verbal bashing place - negative realism is good,- forward action is what will help you most. When you’re learning how to become financially independent in a controlling situation, focus on finding a network or community of people that you can rely on – and who can rely on you. Do connect with others, be interdependent, even for a short while.

Find people who found financial independence themselves

The best way to learn how to become financially independent with you’re in a controlling relationship, or situation is to connect with others who have 'Been There, Done That.'
They may be able to guide you in the right direction. DO NOT use a banker, lawyer, or their associates, as your mentor or guide. Those groups are there to do what you tell them to do, and they will only work for their advantage - not yours - ever.
Try for an honest business man or woman, with some years of experience, or a trusted Rabbi or priest.

Humble yourself

It’s very difficult for most productive people to ask for financial help. Applying for government assistance, researching housing allowances for single parents with children, or similar - finding ways to support yourself is a humbling (or worse) experience. It need only be temporary, and you can pay it back in the future, in real form or volunteering. If it is restart to a more productive life - you can justify it to yourself.

LISTEN to financial advice about how you handle money

If you aren’t a financially independent now, maybe you were never taught how to handle money or balance a budget. Maybe you enjoy spending money, as most of us do; – and think -- maybe you married a controlling partner so you had an external source of structure.

Again, the successful impartial honest - business person or religious minister, may be your best source of advice - do avoid government sponsored programs, unless you get to deal with a very old retired adviser with a positive empathetic attitude. Like the lawyers, bankers, etc the government programs are there for their benefit, not yours at all.

Be a burden

"I have no family support and I don’t want to burden anyone,"..... "I want out of this marriage/relationship/job so bad, but I don’t have the money to leave. She/He knows I can’t make it on my own financially, and they always want me to pay something so I have no money left from my paycheck."
This is unbelievably common - as if it is a standard operations procedure taught to abusers - and we are so often led into this place.

No normal person wants to be a burden on their kids, friends, family, or coworkers! But on occasion you can succeed a lot easier with getting help from others. You will return the favor in the future, right?
Again be very suspicious of the bankers, mortgage, or finance brokers - avoid them in fact, they are there to further their own aims, not yours. A temporary written agreement that you repay as soon as you can, between friends etc., is always better.

Financial independence will cost you time, energy, resolve, humility, and focus. But the rewards are really worth it!

Be Aware now, and once you 'escape,' always have a reserve of even survival money - unknown, and usually untouchable - you can have it all over the world nowadays - so long as it is tax paid money, and ownership proven - it is legal and moral to do so - do keep it out of the public view.
Feel free to contact us in confidence to know how.




Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple...

  Patricia Evan's books:- Recognizing and dealing with verbal abuse. (buy and read them all!)

 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.



Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -

25 Easy Ways To unlock the door way to success, and close it on failure

The power within ourselves to select our...

There seems to be as many thoughts and ways to success as their are US dollars in the world.

Sometimes, as well as focusing on the possibilities, and positive ambitions in your life, it pays equally as well to limit, or expunge (get rid of) a few of the unhelpful ones that block or slow our path.

As you read on, think of the best ways to deal with them for you just now, and to be really sure of your success write them  into a private journal, so you can look back upon your progress.

There are some nice journals you can get from  Amazon online - get one and continue your journey with ease.

So we begin the journey to notice and remove the road-blocks in our life.....

1-Distractions that keep you from special moments with special people. – Particularly your children, your chosen life partners and friends, and surprisingly yourself.
Count your mutual blessings, and appreciate what you have, be it time, things, or surroundings.  Let go for a little while and just BE in the world. There are 2 easy-to-read book authors that will add a lot of this value to your life;- 1) Carlos Castaneda, and 2) Marianne Williamson, buy several of their books and read them once or twice each year.

2-Compulsive busyness. – Note the similarity to the word business, activity is good- yet with an end purpose gives you a bigger reward. Schedule time each day to not be busy, many people say early am, if you aren't ready for that don't force it. You are better to take 15 minutes of quiet time at lunchtime, or even just after your day has ended, than create a failure reminder. Many call it meditation, reflection, or visualization time; do use it to rest your mind .

3-Negative thinking about your current situation. – Life is a mirror; we get the best results when we smile.  So talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems, both to yourself and to others. Success often requires some change to get there.

4-The needless drama around you. – Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you. There are people other than you paid to deal with most of that. Focus on the positives, and the negatives will begin to fade away.

5-The desire for everything you don’t have. – No, you won’t always get exactly what you want, but happiness comes to those who do appreciate what they already have, and build upon it.

6-Comparing yourself to everyone else. – Social comparison is the thief of happiness. and the manipulation of your loan or credit card provider. You can spend a lifetime worrying about what others have, but the envy wont assist you in getting you everything.

7-Thinking about who you were or what you had in the past. – You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago.  You’re always growing.  Experiences don’t stop.

8-Worrying about the mistakes you’ve made. – Let your mistakes be your motivation to work out a different approach or response, not your excuses.

9-Worrying about what everyone thinks and says about you. –You honestly can’t spend your life changing how people treat you or what they say about you. What you can do is change how you react and who you choose to be around.

10-Self-deception. – The first and best change you can take is to be honest with yourself.

11-A life path that doesn’t feel right. – Life is to be enjoyed, not endured.  When you truly believe in what you’re doing, it shows, and it pays.

12-Everyone else’s definition of success and happiness. – You can’t base your idea of success and happiness on other people’s opinions and expectations. Some of them are either too low, or a way of controlling you for their benefit.

13-Those who insist on using and manipulating you. – What you allow is what will continue.  Give as much as you predetermine, but don’t allow yourself to be used.  Do empathize with others, but don’t lose your own voice in the process.

14-Trying to impress everyone. – One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like us, and that’s perfect.

15-All the fears holding you back. – Fear is a perception, not a fact;- sometimes a valid warning, sometimes an indicator of a needed change. The best way to gain strength and self-confidence is to have a go at what you’re afraid to do.

16-Doubting and second-guessing yourself. – When in doubt just take the next small step.  Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the most positive choice.

17-People who continuously dump on your dreams. – It’s better to forge ahead alone, than allow negative people and their opinions derail you from your path. Others will crush your dreams.  Do just once what they say you can’t do, and you will either escape their mediocrity or inspire them.

18-Thinking the perfect time will come. – There are perfect moments - it is better you make and appreciate them. Let others wait for the perfect moment.  Sometimes you must dare to do it because life is too short to wonder what could have been.

19-'Band-Aids' and temporary fixes. – Sometimes necessary; --you must act, and accept these will fail, and ensure you have replacements set up to work for the long term. Deal with problems directly before they might deal with you.

20-Close-minded judgments. – Open your mind before you open your mouth.  Don’t hate what you don’t know.  Opportunities are there for you.

21-Other people’s mistakes and oversights. – Be tolerant of people’s mistakes and oversights, it simply means they are human. If it is important to your success, avoid them, guide them, or learn a new way from the experience.

22-Resentment. – Kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness, nor any forgiveness for acceptance.  It’s about knowing that resentment is valid, yet a huge time soak away from your goals. Move on, and learn for yourself.

23-Any prejudicial thoughts. –Treat everyone with empathy, even those who are rude to you – not because they are a pain, but because you are an example. 

24-Regrets of any kind. – You don’t have to be defined by the things you once did or didn’t do.  Don’t let yourself be controlled by regret.  Maybe there’s something you could have done differently, or maybe not.

25-Make moves to improve yourself.- Learn from the bad - what to change for the good, and do learn from the good what does work.
Learn from observing success in others, they may not tell you their 'secrets' - yet you will notice their actions and responses.

“Dost thou love life?  Then do not squander time,
for that’s the stuff life is made of.”
―Benjamin Franklin. 

Recommended links to help you now......

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Grow yourself online in the privacy of your own home
 


Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.
 

Is it better to be alone for a while, than in bad company? Red flags to pay attention to.

Bare maiden making her own way in life

Ideally, you would surround yourself with people who make you a better person and let go of those who don’t. Sometimes we are in we think someplace or somewhere too deep, and at a point in life, determined for us by others.

Bad company can be inspiring in the real sense, that it lets us or brings us to a place in our life that 'forces' us to begin to change for the better.

We must be alert to the often well hidden indicators of bad influence. It is always better to prevent a disease, rather than deal with the aftermath if at all possible. Many of the qualities listed below must awaken you to your own value and inspire you to choose your own life path.

Some other people will only......

1.  Make time for you when it’s convenient for them.

Don’t use too much of your time with someone who only wants you around when only it’s convenient for them. You shouldn’t have to force someone to make a space in their life for you, or be in a relationship with someone who overlooks your worth. Know that you are self-worthy, and do move ahead. It’s obvious, but any relationship without regular interaction and communication is going to have problems, especially when there’s a lack of commitment.

2.  They hold your past against you.

Some people will refuse to accept that you are no longer who you used to be – that you’ve made mistakes in the past, learned from them, and moved past them.  They may not be accept that you’re growing and moving on with your life, and they will try to control you. Keep moving forward.

3.  You feel trapped.

Healthy relationships leave the doors and windows wide open.  Plenty of acceptance is flowing and no one feels trapped.  Relationships do thrive in this kind of unrestricted environment.  You, or your partner can come and go as you please, but you choose to stay because where you are is where you want to be.
 

4.  They discredit your dreams and abilities.

If you allow others to define your dreams and abilities, then you let them to hold you back.  What you’re capable of achieving is not a function of what other people think is possible for you.  It depends a lot on what you choose to do with your time and energy. They of course will try to get you to devote time and energy only towards them.
  Do look beyond the presumptions and limitations of others, and  en-vision of how YOUR life can be. And move towards it.

5.  They have lied to you more than once.

Love is an activity, no matter what the mass media tell you. Love is not just feelings of passion and romance between lovers; it is an approach and behavior among friends and family.  If someone lies to you, more than a couple of times - they do not value your relationship. You must address the events, and resolve them, or limit your contact in those areas they have trouble with. Be it all, or in part.

6.  Their negativity is rubbing off on you.

The negative people in your life don’t just behave negatively towards you, but towards life.  What they say and do is a projection of their own reality – their own inner challenges.
This is important to remember because what these negative people say and do shouldn’t be taken to heart.  Although you don’t have control over what they say and do; you do have control over whether or not you allow them to say and do these things to you. Remember they cannot tip dirty water into the bucket if the lid is closed.

7.   They are excessively envious of what you have.

Envy is not OK, when someone is envious of what you have, there’s a good chance what they really want is to steal it from you. Either show them how they can get a similar (or to them a better thing), or dispose of them as surely as you can.
(That doesn't mean to kill them, as much as that might be the right thing to do - the best way is to use an authority they respect in their life to control them in a direction away from you-)
Excessive envy doesn’t tell you how much someone admires you, it tells you how much they dislike themselves.

8.  They motivate you to be judgmental or hateful.

Some people are avoidable, and some types even more so. Yet to tell a personality quickly you find out how they talk about others - this is the real them.
If you judge others as a group by their culture, religion, skin color, or their outer beauty, you do miss something good about who they really are.
People who motivate you to judge or hate others are bad company. They will turn on you as soon as it's needed to for their own gratification.
Some groups, and their belief systems, are ones you do want to be around,  do move with your feet, rather than your mouth - you will more easily get to where you want.

9.  They want you to be someone else.

If someone expects you to be someone you’re not, take a step back. Ask yourself, and then them, why?
Maybe you could be on the path to a better life - make sure it is yours - not theirs.  It’s wiser to lose relationships over being who you are, than to keep them intact by pretending to be like someone you’re not.

Thought for the day: Be aware of the ways the insecure use to hold you. 

Move forward, and keep moving forward. There are some good people in the world, it is up to you to invite and welcome, and be a little attractive to the good into your life

Recommended links to help you now

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -

pic courtesy of Bare maidens

Re-write our life history - Living without regret is it possible?

Looking outside of the fog created

Honesty with ourselves,- can you answer the questions of regret? And is it really possible to get past it all?  

Do not be wanting to be impressive to others. – When you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really wanted to be.


You don’t have to be perfect to impress and inspire lesser quality people.  Let them live their own lives, their ambition level is theirs to own.

Letting someone else create your dreams for you. – Sometimes you’ll do things considered different by others, and a lot of times they will either overtly, or with subterfuge try and keep you in their safe space. To be standing your ground and walking your own path, is a better choice than living a life of subservience.

Keeping negative company. – Don’t let someone who has a bad attitude give it to you. They can’t tip dirty water into the bucket if the lid is closed. Do remember that keeping the company of negative people is a choice, instead of an obligation. And do insulate yourself from them, they try and control their diminishing world, by removing other peoples lives.

Being selfish and egotistical. – A life focused on you is good - yet to be manipulative or gross in your demands will attract the multitudes of either parasites or 'defenders of the right' to you, and they will reciprocate the damage you cause.

Avoiding change and growth. – Growth, and adaption to positive circumstances are your ideal. To not do so, is to rot like an old fruit, or cabbage, with its attendant distaste.

Giving up when the going gets tough. – Even if things don’t turn out the way you had expected, don’t be too disheartened or give up.  Learn the ways and things that didn't work this time, and the parts that did.  Refresh your mind, and keep moving forward.

Trying to micromanage every little thing. – Life is better in results, and experience being guided, not strangled. To pay attention to the details is important, yet to form and operate a standard approach to include them is easier than trying to actively control them all, or other people.

Settling for less than you design. –Those that compromise make easy customers, it is better for you design your own life and pursue it with a little persistence - and adaption.

Endlessly waiting until tomorrow. – The trouble is, often there won’t be any more time to work on the things you’ve always wanted to do.  And at that point you either will have achieved the goals you set for yourself, or you will have a list of excuses for why you haven’t.

Being lazy and vague. – The world doesn’t owe you anything, or anyone else either really. Allow yourself have some responsibility for your life – take control one thing at a time. And then another, and so on. After a short while you will be getting what you want, rather than what others may or may not dispense you.

Recommended links to help you now

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -

To be Self reliant, Self determined, Self motivated and a little Selfish - isn't Success lonely?

Choosing a successful life

A successful life does mean that you are and can be self reliant, self determined, self disciplined, and in charge of your own destiny. 

Your fate is in the hands of you, and no-one else. You do get to to plan your life, and it's path.

Lonely- not really, you don't have the same amount, or thankfully the same type of friends as a less successful person.

You get to be selective, because you know the rules of -

1- contagion of failure, and negativity.
2- to others you appear as you seem to be, so you do avoid the lower echelons.
3- you know the value of time and life, and........
4- better thinking people do offer better opportunities to each other.


Consequently, there being more authentic people in this group, you have less, and more reliable friends, than perhaps the person happy with their regular employment.

Being a 'lone wolf,' as it has been called, and doing things your own way can give you more flexibility to  be with the ones you care about.

Being a 9-5er, or in fact whatever set hours you work - takes time away from you in a structured way, that could have been spent with your family and friends.

Being successful, allows you to incorporate different events into your schedule, small but valuable pockets of time.

To be alone at times, gives you essential time to reflect (meditate), and revise, and plan - without the influential chatter of society - which is not your most helpful guide.

It is not so much to be alone. You meet people, you are around people. Now you actually get the choose to have people in your association or not.

A secret- your friends encourage your success or not by emotional reinforcement. It could be time to be a reliable friend to some additional people, who allow you to be successful. The choice is yours.

If the right people don’t want to be around you then that is a problem you can start to correct.

Instead of alcohol, or some other diversion, that costs you, invest a little energy for self-improvement, and then a little action day by day.

Human beings are trained to be social creatures and most end up needing the company of humans.
In prison, and school, solitary confinement or an exclusion is used as a punishment. Yet that doesn't mean you need them all in your life. Choose those who are best for you.

It is better to not require constant attention, approval or validation from family, friends, peers and colleagues. They won't give it to you all, because of their fears, envy and personal insecurities.

It is better for you, to be driven from within. Their approval and validation may come with time and success but it won’t come from playing by their rules.


If you are worried about being alone, don’t let your loneliness become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Work out what you want, and what type of people you would like in your life -
 Even the puppy fat blonde seeking a wealthy husband to support her lifestyle thinks, plans ahead, and acts to get her reward. (Mostly she fails to maintain the effort to keep it going- but you can change this for you.)
Copy her programme, not her grasping philosophy, and you will succeed.

Be the person you wish to be and one that other people you value might feel OK about being with. It really is all up to you, and it is more rewarding for you that way.

Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple...

Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-
 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.







Become Self Assertive, and more a Confident you, from today with -

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition  


   
photo courtesy pixabay

Is it Poverty To be Average, or not? How do Rich People really Think?

Avoid the breadline - change your path.

Some of the ways rich people    Do   Think Differently - Than those who are happy being not wealthy. 

 To be 'rich' or genuinely wealthy read on -

1) Average people think MONEY is the root of all evil. Rich people believe POVERTY is the root of all evil.
Average people live in FEAR of money. You’ll  often hear average people say things like "I would never try and make money from this. I would never do this just for money" etc. This fear of money is a one-way ticket to a place you do not want to end up in. Don’t be ashamed of your need or want for money, or what it can do. Excuses are for those afraid to determine their very own path in life.


2) Average people think selfishness is a vice. Rich people think selfishness is a virtue.
Everyone is selfish, but there are two types of selfishness: overt selfishness and covert selfishness. You want to be OVERTLY selfish. Covert selfishness is for manipulators, and bullies. When you come out and say to yourself "I want it my way and I’ll have it my way, and allow others to have it their way" you do indeed get what you want.


3) Average people have a lottery mentality. Rich people have an action mentality.
 Losers state all the time, "if I could just win the lottery. If I could just get a chance. If my big break would come in"  Notice the  IF word, and the waiting without action.
To get the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow you most likely have to take movement towards it.


4) Average people think the road to riches is paved with formal education. Rich people believe in acquiring specific knowledge.
Universities are self perpetuating indoctrination facilities, and full of educated sponge/rs.
(And of course, dependent men and woman for your cheap entertainment).
You must educate yourself. You really don’t need to spend time in formal studies to learn it. Every thing is available in some way, for free. If you want to learn about it the only thing stopping you is you. It is up to YOU to learn your craft.
Out of the system - you can easily learn all you need to know to start your new million - in about 6 weeks.  Contact us if you would like.


5) Average people long for the good old days. Rich people dream of the future.
Some people call it planning for the future,  but equally so maintain a visual of the future and how you will be in it. Actually see yourself as you wish to be.
"Things used to be so great, but nowadays…."
Put that idea aside for the purchasers of your product, and shape your future the way you want it to be.


6) Average people see money through the eyes of emotion. Rich people think about money logically.
Money is like an extra emotion to poor people. They verbalize- "I can’t ever have enough to pay rent and the car payment and the electric bill."
Money is an emotion, in the sense of control and power, used in this way by skilled advertisers, politicians, bankers, and other manipulative 'criminals.'
Really start to think about it like you think about your next 3-30 chess moves. Learn to play chess, to improve your life skills. Chess sets here, and books to help here.
If you’re poor…..reduce outgoings…and then get to work, plan ahead, and quit spending your money on other people's plans for you.
Sadly the book The Richest Man in Babylon has a number of good ideas in it- buy it, study it, and implement some of the ideas.


7) Average people earn money doing things they don’t love. Rich people follow their passion.
The correct word is not passion- this is a deceit it is obsession with focus and persistence. Rich people persist actively in their obsessions to the ends of the earth and beyond. Average people can’t understand this because their obsession stops at their favorite sports team, TV show, the pub, or smoking THC or Meth, or some other similar activity


8) Average people set low expectations so they’re never disappointed. Rich people evaluate a challenge.
"Don’t worry about it. It’s no big deal. Why do you expect so much. Let’s just go and watch the game!"
"Oh well, that will do, it's near enough"
If you hear these comments - these people make easy customers - but  poor and ineffective employees, or life and business associates.



9) Average people believe you have to DO something to get rich. Rich people believe you have to BE something to get rich.
"What do I have to get or do to get rich?" or " What is the quickest way? I need it all now"
Rather than - "Now can we attract? What do they want?"


10) Average people follow fashions.Rich people promote trends.
The promoter gets the rewards, the follower, comes of course behind.


11) Average people dress to stand out.Rich people dress in a way to inspire others confidence.
An average person has a number of poorly kept fashion labels, or not, - in an attempt to be accepted or noticed. Something like an overly noisy car.
A wealthy person cares for their wardrobe, and dresses at all times to inspire confidence in others.


12) Average people believe you need money to make money. Rich people use other people’s money.
To remember, you were not born with a baby cot filled with dollars - and if you were - you do have to respond in certain ways to keep the flow coming to you.
A good starting attitude is -"How can I attract, and maintain the flow?"


13) Average people believe the markets are driven by logic and strategy. Rich people know they’re driven by emotion and greed.
Logic is only one part of the picture. If you look at everything logically you aren’t looking at the big picture, as most people in the world have been indoctrinated to think emotionally. When you speak to them logically you are not getting through to them. If you want to get access to them - you will have to inspire emotions -it is a lot faster.



14) Average people live beyond their means. Rich people live below theirs.
Your ambition is to have your expenses met by others, not for you to meet them - aim for this.


15) Average people teach their children how to survive. Rich people teach their youth to get rich.
An average person will only encourage those in their domain to be average. Generally the ideas that college, a full time job, then giving spare cash to the bankers to play with for retirement is the only answer. Safety - as proposed by your most unfavorite politician - is the mantra of the people destined to be poor.


16) Average people let money stress them out. Rich people find peace of mind in wealth.
Money is freedom and does indeed buy you freedom. If you have a money flow you have some control of your life. When you have money you do have the pleasure of saying no.


17) Average people would rather be entertained than educated. Rich people would rather be educated than entertained.
Television, magazines, celebrity websites, sports – the consumption of the average.
If you can’t learn or earn from it, avoid it, - or sell it to the majority.


16) Average people think rich people are snobs. Rich people just want to surround themselves with like-minded people.
Rich people understand the relevance of association, and the contagiousness of fear and poverty thinking. Average people cannot hide their envy and jealousy.
They made the poor decision to be employees, and now you’re a devil because you are either free and/or have money.

You must dispose of these types, by any means possible - they are the criminals that steal your time and assets, and they do sadly breed, reproducing more of the same.


18) Average people focus on saving. Rich people focus on earning.
How many people have told you of the wonderful benefits of saving for retirement and how you can finally live like a king when you’re 65? Most of these promoters, lose the fees (and taxes) you give them while they access your earned reserves, as in fact if it is money - it gets less in value as time goes on due to inflation and deception. Focus on creating a flow.



19) Average people play it safe with money. Rich people know when to take risks.
Considered risks bring rewards. Do ensure the promoter is you, not a government employee, or agent.


20)  People love to be 100% comfortable. Rich people find comfort in a future.
Average people don’t want to do anything except eat processed food and watch TV. Wasting your day in any form is not a valid life choice- these are the people that you can promote or sell to - you must be part of the active crowd to be wealthy.



21) Average people never make the connection between money and health. Rich people know money can save your life.
"Well, at least I have my health" The same people, eat and live fashionably, as proposed by their television.
If something has to advertised, or promoted by the news on TV - the camera only points the one way that they choose -not you.
The reality is that money is what is sought by the establishment trained doctors/dentists/drug companies- so it does buy -in western society- the best medical care and the best drugs, as unfair as that is.

You must make health part of your 13 point plan for success, learn how to be healthy, and do not use it as an excuse for failure. And of course avoid wasting your time and money with the essentially corrupt standard medical system.


22) An average person believes.A wealthy person creates belief.
Most average people respond passively to any thing, and believe like many a fairy tale character in the authorities show. Many a charity is formed with good intent, yet those who remain average use up their lifetime loudly convincing others to join the cause.
A consistently wealthy or rich person, will work to create a belief that that the consumers or average persons follow.



23) Average people believe they must choose between a great family and being rich. Rich people know you can have it all.
Average people are excuse-makers, (prime warning sign), and are mediocre because of their choice. A family isn’t a burden or an obstacle in making money, for these people it’s an excuse to be lazy and coast at a job. A friend was a solo father with children from the age of 2, growing up - and he still easily made over a million dollars in the real world. These children are now in their twenties, and very well grounded, and successful in their own right.
 (This doesn't say much for the previous and current crop of demanding solo-mothers).
Rich people demand more out of life, and they get it. Demand more, especially from yourself, and your quality of life will go up.


Stay away from poor thinking people - it is comparative to being around a contagious disease - their daily thoughts/habits/in-actions lead them to be in poor health. 
And like Ebola, Tuberculosis, and even the Flu, you absolutely do not want it - there must be no exceptions.

Do not allow them in your home, or mind - if they are there just now - start associating anyway you can with truly successful people - not the blowhards in the neighborhood or on the internet. Learn what success really is and associate with more of those people. Leave all the others to enjoy their chosen life. 





Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple...

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.



Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-



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Controlling Parents - are they all the same? Why can't I have my own life as an adult?

Our Lives are both unique and tied.

Controlling Parents – How Ever Do You Cope?!!  You only want to stop being manipulated by your mom and/or dad. Just an ordinary problem free relationship or visits must be possible. Many adult children who have controlling parents, think that.

To recognize the unease you have is a very positive step forward in your life.


There are lots of stories, where the 'controlled' children remained out their influencer's reach, and then succeeded remarkably well in their lives. As many millions of dollars, pounds, or francs have been made by the distancing practice as have the family support model. Interestingly enough, predominantly - the dollars/pounds - rather than other cultural upbringings.


To get started, let us assume, you are an adult trying to make your own way in the world- 


1- Let go of your need to please your parents. We do grow up seeking approval, affirmation, and love from our parents, and that really is OK. Even as grown children, we may want them to keep loving us, approving of us etc.,  and that is why it’s difficult to confront them, when we don’t want to disappoint or anger them.
A secret for coping with controlling parents – or any toxic person in your life – is to recognize your need to please them, and let go of it. Or, at the least, learn how to observe it all in the third person.


2-Learn to recognize emotional blackmail. This is one of the best ways to take your life back, - (from any abuser in fact) - and you have started by your questions.
If you have controlling parents, you may recognize that they disguise their criticism with jokes at your expense, or by pointedly saying how well another is doing - seeming to try to make you feel guilty for past behavior, or constantly make you feel bad about your life.
They don’t seem to want to let you live your life! Before confronting difficult parents, it’s important to recognize and learn to deal with emotional blackmail.


3-Separate emotion from an action plan. An action plan says, "I want a better life, better relationships. and I will have it for me." You might have to do something you don’t want to do;-  change a job you enjoy parts of, move to a different place, set and stay with your boundaries, develop some assertiveness, and stand up to other  members of the family. All good challenges for you to meet.
It is easy to take your life back, and it’s effective.
Put aside the emotions of "I’m scared/tired/frustrated/miserable," - you were taught these responses for your parents benefit.


4-Stop wishing your parents less controlling, or different. These controlling parents are yours, and if you’re still wishing they were different, that is a good start, yet won't help your reality to change. Don’t  give up hope for a better relationship with your parents, as an adult you now have a different one.  They may continue to be overbearing, difficult, and so on....but really you are now an adult, and you are free to distance yourself emotionally, physically, socially, and financially. Start a little today.


 5-Cut your financial ties to parents who want to control. Some parents use a supply or not of money to control you- which might be OK as a child, but instead of staying financially beholden, you might find ways to free herself and take your life back. A bank loan is definitely not ideal, yet if you are 200% sure it is worth it and you can pay the interest - fees - and - principal off - it could be worth the release - even if the money was originally a gift.
It’s not a 'gift' if it’s taking an emotional toll, and used as such. Or, if everyone agrees that the money isn’t owed (the mortgage help or baby food was a gift, for example), then sign something together, that states there is no money owing - and put it somewhere independently safe.This paper contractual evidence does help.



6- Services- If a big deal or drama is made over babysitting - usually- start a babysitting club with some trustworthy friends. If they are helping maintain your home, or lifestyle - get some friends around to do yours and the friends. Your parents must redefine their own lives. If a regular visit, or meal is a trial - leave the county, or country - and send lovely postcards or photos on that family day. Your mental health, and your overall well-being will remarkably improve.


7- Same house-/accommodation- Develop different hobbies, or at least something educational or creative, Udemy has plenty of good courses for in home study - that separates your life from theirs.
They will disapprove, that is their power and control technique - listen -empathize - and move on with your life.
Moving out may be a better option - they will complain - abuse - cry - gossip etc. etc.- you can allow them this; - again - observe in the third person -move on with your life. Then they can begin to move on with theirs.

Read - Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life.

Then read or watch some harmless humour - and now begin to move forward in your life.


Are your parents toxic, and perhaps even destructive? A small percentage are, and they have a massive societal effect. Give up your expectations - it is your life, and you are allowed it. Assist them if you wish - that is fair enough - it helps them to feel as they have been acknowledged for the work in bringing you up. This is what most 'normal' parents are seeking.

 You must begin to 'rule' or take charge of your own life, it may be the healthiest thing you ever do for yourself.



Recommended links to help you...

Become Self Assertive, and more a Confident you, from today with -

Or take an Assertiveness course. These will help you stand your ground without becoming aggressive or hostile.
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Assertiveness training, stress handling techniques by the world famous David Bonham-Carter.

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Rules of the game that make us, - our Success, our Luck, and my and your lives.

Playing - will I win?

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else. Albert Einstein  

The Rules that Govern Our Lives 

 

We learn, or try to learn, to live in a world that others have created over the course of known history. We are schooled either formally in an institution, or by our observations to the created world around us.
As children often reply, when asked why do they go to school by their parents - "because you, and the government make me go"

People do live life partly on their terms, - some more than others, - and partly following the plans set by other people and society.


Laws, plans, and rules are created by  -


1; - governments and institutions, and
2; - a set of rules we think we have made for ourselves; that are reflected in our values, beliefs, and in our personal standards.

Some good and helpful, some not so much.


These rules have been conditioned into our mind over the course of a lifetime by others, and by society in general.

However, we have also played our part in this conditioning process. We have been willing, or unwilling actors - and have accepted things to be that particular way.

Most of us have good intentions and honorable hopes, with dreams and goals for the future,  -  however the 'rules' which we live our lives unfortunately don’t allow us to realize our desired destination.

It is now time for a change.


Your Childhood Innocence

Think back for a moment to your childhood, with the youthful innocence and enthusiasm that you brought into every activity.
Back then you treated everything as a game. Everything you did was fun and exciting - until someone told you to "grow up".

You were told that life isn’t a game and that you need to take things more seriously. You get told that your actions could have negative consequences; that you need to protect yourself from pain; that you must hold on tight to the things you have, and that you must follow the universally accepted rules that everybody else has grown up with.


The Unfair parts of Life.

•      Life is not always filled with perfection.
•     There are people you must, and you should have avoided.
•     There are organizations you should not trust, or have trusted.
•     You will experience different setbacks and problems.
•     You may experience a mistake or two.
•     You will go through different emotions.
•     You will sometimes fail at your choices.
•     You will experience criticism and rejection.
•     You might occasionally embarrass yourself.
•     You will win, but you will find more ways of learning how to win.

Just assume that things could go wrong, and have a plan or two in place to deal with that. And of course continue on with the adaptable plans for your desired future.




One method that leads to acceptance of the 'unfair,' is the act of disassociating yourself emotionally from the experiences.
In fact the standard prose of a manipulative person, is to question if you felt a certain way. Therefore to improve your success you must be aware of this.

In reality there are no absolutely good or bad situations, - it only feels like that at the time - there are interpretations that we as people make.
What one person might interpret as an unfortunate event, another person will interpret that exact same event in a more favorable way.
And because they see it in a favorable way, they can now make more of the situation, instead of playing the victim card. Leave that victim card for others, it is a manipulation technique, that will not help you long term.

Taking the possibility approach will do wonders for your self-confidence. 

You take charge of you and now are on the way to living life at a higher level.

 

10 Good Rules for Playing the Game of Life

Rule 1: Clear Goals

Setting clear goals gives you a definite direction in life and helps you live with a sense of purpose. It redirects all your efforts towards clear aims.Something like the idea, that while you are on the sports field or the court is to get the ball where you want it to go.



Rule 2: Sense of Humor

Humor is a great tool against the adversity that life may drop in front of you. Humor will allow you to move through or around these difficulties without falling into the "victim mentality" trap. Again playing the victim card will not help you win at the game of life - it is in fact a way for you to controlled - be it by an abuser or a 'helping' organization. You must instead use some humor to keep your spirits high while you move forward.


Rule 3: New Skills

Start today, and keep at going daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.  It can be either tangible, or hands on skills, or equally as important - thinking and people skills. You can learn from both good and bad, even how not to do it - will save you some time and make it easier for you.
The perpetual life student attitude and practice will bring you fast results.


Rule 4: Calculated Risks

To venture outside your comfort zone. even a little for a start, will change your chances of winning in the game of life. Taking calculated risks and stepping beyond the confines of your normality helps expand opportunities, (luck)- provides a super platform for growth and new insights, helps you solve problems, and also goes a long way towards helping you make better decisions as you make progress through this game of life.

All your problems are solvable, however you will rarely solve them while within the confines of your normal or previous comfort zone. You must stretch beyond that, as this is where opportunity lies for new understandings and perceptions to help you find solutions.


Rule 5: Cherish Friendships

It is better to have a network of people behind you, rather than fighting or hindering you. Sooner or later you will need the support of others to help you win this game. Therefore start by cultivating your friendships today, and care for the good ones as if you wish them to last forever.


Rule 6: Accept the odd Mistake

Life involves the process of learning and growth.You might make the occasional mistake or two. Learn from your mistakes - once or twice is enough - if you are repeating the same mistakes time and again, change something - now!

Learning from a small mistake made today will indeed save you from making a bigger mistake tomorrow.
Or, perchance, learning from a big mistake today does help you gain the clarity you need to move forward in a better way.


Rule 7: Generate Plenty of Ideas and New Experiences

In order to succeed in the game of life you need to be constantly opening yourself up to a world of new experiences. They can come in the form of ideas, people, places and knowledge.

And as you begin to think differently about your life and circumstances you gather unique ideas that you can use to help move your life forward in a better way. New experiences also bring with them new opportunities to help you win in the game of life. That word luck again.

To focus on one overall idea is good, yet to get ahead, different approaches to that idea, or different ideas do open up new and maybe better paths.


Sometime ideas don't turn out 100% as expected. Great, now you can adapt. Experience and responses of others and yourself to these helps you define your direction.


Rule 8: Be a little Kind to Others

It’s said that "those who show kindness will eventually be taken advantage of." And you would be right. There will be people who will certainly take advantage of your kindness, however that’s part of the game of life. Ensure they pay you well in compensation, for that.

Kindness is not letting them take any advantage of you, or you having lesser standards for yourself; it is accepting people where they are at now.

When you are kind to others it often activates the power of reciprocity, and so it should.
Mostly you feel more confident, in control, and fulfilled that you have made a positive difference in someone else’s life.
This confidence empowers your daily decisions and actions to help move your life forward in a better way.


Rule 9: Aim for some Balance

An ideal successful life is a balanced life. A life that promotes good health and provides long-term  stability. And the way to achieve it all, is to strive for a balance.


Rule 10: Work Smarter AND Harder

The final rule for winning in the game of life is to work both smarter AND harder. This naturally improves your luck and allows you opportunities that you otherwise would not have had.

Either one on their own, will give rewards, yet to get stable long-term success, both are needed.

 

One good life philosophy to have is this - from -Will Smith the famous actor, has said-

    "The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be out-worked, period. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me, you might be all of those things — you got it on me in nine categories. But if we get on the treadmill together, there’s two things: You’re getting off first, or I’m going to die. It’s really that simple, right? You’re not going to out-work me. It’s such a simple, basic concept. The guy who is willing to hustle the most is going to be the guy that just gets that loose ball."

Changing your Luck and Succeeding in the Game of Life

Do acknowledge that the results you get from life are a direct reflection of your habitual thoughts, words and actions.

• Choose your own path and not the path laid out for you by others.
• Dedicate yourself to something worthwhile.
• Aim for daily growth and learn from experiences, from other people, and from mistakes.
• Taking advantage of opportunities to move your life forward in a better way.
• Take responsibility for your life, choices, decisions and actions without complaining, blaming or making excuses. (This empowers others- not you).
• Cultivate curiosity each and everyday.
• Ask yourself solution orientated questions about your life, problems and circumstances.
• Stay flexible in thought and open minded to other perspectives, ideas and opinions.
• Define your true core values, and boundaries.
• Keep true to your highest core values.
• Consider necessary short-term changes for long-term gains.
• Decisions, and responsibility is OK.
• Consistently raise your personal standards. 
• Evaluate and change unhelpful thoughts, beliefs, habits and fears that are holding you back.
• Leave procrastination and instant gratification for others.

****

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