Controlling Parents - are they all the same? Why can't I have my own life as an adult?

Our Lives are both unique and tied.

Controlling Parents – How Ever Do You Cope?!!  You only want to stop being manipulated by your mom and/or dad. Just an ordinary problem free relationship or visits must be possible. Many adult children who have controlling parents, think that.

To recognize the unease you have is a very positive step forward in your life.


There are lots of stories, where the 'controlled' children remained out their influencer's reach, and then succeeded remarkably well in their lives. As many millions of dollars, pounds, or francs have been made by the distancing practice as have the family support model. Interestingly enough, predominantly - the dollars/pounds - rather than other cultural upbringings.


To get started, let us assume, you are an adult trying to make your own way in the world- 


1- Let go of your need to please your parents. We do grow up seeking approval, affirmation, and love from our parents, and that really is OK. Even as grown children, we may want them to keep loving us, approving of us etc.,  and that is why it’s difficult to confront them, when we don’t want to disappoint or anger them.
A secret for coping with controlling parents – or any toxic person in your life – is to recognize your need to please them, and let go of it. Or, at the least, learn how to observe it all in the third person.


2-Learn to recognize emotional blackmail. This is one of the best ways to take your life back, - (from any abuser in fact) - and you have started by your questions.
If you have controlling parents, you may recognize that they disguise their criticism with jokes at your expense, or by pointedly saying how well another is doing - seeming to try to make you feel guilty for past behavior, or constantly make you feel bad about your life.
They don’t seem to want to let you live your life! Before confronting difficult parents, it’s important to recognize and learn to deal with emotional blackmail.


3-Separate emotion from an action plan. An action plan says, "I want a better life, better relationships. and I will have it for me." You might have to do something you don’t want to do;-  change a job you enjoy parts of, move to a different place, set and stay with your boundaries, develop some assertiveness, and stand up to other  members of the family. All good challenges for you to meet.
It is easy to take your life back, and it’s effective.
Put aside the emotions of "I’m scared/tired/frustrated/miserable," - you were taught these responses for your parents benefit.


4-Stop wishing your parents less controlling, or different. These controlling parents are yours, and if you’re still wishing they were different, that is a good start, yet won't help your reality to change. Don’t  give up hope for a better relationship with your parents, as an adult you now have a different one.  They may continue to be overbearing, difficult, and so on....but really you are now an adult, and you are free to distance yourself emotionally, physically, socially, and financially. Start a little today.


 5-Cut your financial ties to parents who want to control. Some parents use a supply or not of money to control you- which might be OK as a child, but instead of staying financially beholden, you might find ways to free herself and take your life back. A bank loan is definitely not ideal, yet if you are 200% sure it is worth it and you can pay the interest - fees - and - principal off - it could be worth the release - even if the money was originally a gift.
It’s not a 'gift' if it’s taking an emotional toll, and used as such. Or, if everyone agrees that the money isn’t owed (the mortgage help or baby food was a gift, for example), then sign something together, that states there is no money owing - and put it somewhere independently safe.This paper contractual evidence does help.



6- Services- If a big deal or drama is made over babysitting - usually- start a babysitting club with some trustworthy friends. If they are helping maintain your home, or lifestyle - get some friends around to do yours and the friends. Your parents must redefine their own lives. If a regular visit, or meal is a trial - leave the county, or country - and send lovely postcards or photos on that family day. Your mental health, and your overall well-being will remarkably improve.


7- Same house-/accommodation- Develop different hobbies, or at least something educational or creative, Udemy has plenty of good courses for in home study - that separates your life from theirs.
They will disapprove, that is their power and control technique - listen -empathize - and move on with your life.
Moving out may be a better option - they will complain - abuse - cry - gossip etc. etc.- you can allow them this; - again - observe in the third person -move on with your life. Then they can begin to move on with theirs.

Read - Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life.

Then read or watch some harmless humour - and now begin to move forward in your life.


Are your parents toxic, and perhaps even destructive? A small percentage are, and they have a massive societal effect. Give up your expectations - it is your life, and you are allowed it. Assist them if you wish - that is fair enough - it helps them to feel as they have been acknowledged for the work in bringing you up. This is what most 'normal' parents are seeking.

 You must begin to 'rule' or take charge of your own life, it may be the healthiest thing you ever do for yourself.



Recommended links to help you...

Become Self Assertive, and more a Confident you, from today with -

Or take an Assertiveness course. These will help you stand your ground without becoming aggressive or hostile.
If you feel physically intimidated by people, you might want to consider a self-defense course, or training books as well.



Assertiveness training, stress handling techniques by the world famous David Bonham-Carter.

Plan your next escape ; - you choose where to - with Webjet.

pic courtesy public domain

Successes of the Tarot in finding my new life path, and a new relationship partner.

 Fairy princess spells, and a new life.

Tarot Spells - Fact Or Fiction ?  Spells, meditation, affirmations, and expectation.

Does the reading of the Tarot help in any way to predict your success in life or romance?

Well surprisingly it does have a positive effect. Should you read upon it, then dismiss it, probably not much.

Yet to clear the mind of the daily pressures with a desire to find an answer, a good reading will bring you to considering a changed pathway.

As you have the symbols brought to you; if they are re-associated or linked with a past known event or impression - then your mind and consideration is brought to a future expectation. One would hope you will put the effort in to progressively adapt yourself, to bring that expectation to some sort of reality.
Thus the secrets are revealed. Read the paragraph above again, and take notes to establish the simple methods of success.

Meditative commands or interceptions, work because of the way you have been taught as a child in school - similar methods of a perceived authority figure, quietness,(isolation from distractions), exposure, linking, absorption, then reconsideration.

Another word form the same process is a spell. They are extremely powerful because of the above, should you consider their frame. They are one easy way of helping you on the way to a life you desire.

Sometimes, even if you do not see or show what you really feel, the universe always knows and it only presents you what it knows is best for you. If you view life like this, you will be able to handle any event or 'issue.'


  Can you get your ex back with the Tarot? On one hand it is possible to get an ex back with the help of a love spell, however, there are certain catches to it.

• The first possibility is for you to get exactly what you want; this is the most ideal possibility that any person can dream of.

• The second possibility is for you to not get what you want because this is not exactly what has to happen for you.

• And thirdly, there is also a chance that a completely different person will come into your life.

This is actually a good thing most of the time because the universe has already determined that you have asked for someone not suitable for you, and thus has found the one who is.

It is important that should you do these powerful love spells, you keep an objective and open mind about it so that you will not miss what the universe is actually trying to tell you. And be open to all three possibilities.


Some of the things you learn in schooling or church are of little use to you now - but remember the method they used, and use it for yourself to get what you want.


Again meditative commands or interceptions, work because of the way you have been taught as a child in school - similar methods of a perceived authority figure, quietness,(isolation from distractions), exposure, linking, absorption, then reconsideration.

As you have the symbols brought to you; if they are re-associated or linked with a past known event or impression - then your mind and consideration is brought to a future expectation. 

One would hope you will put the effort in to progressively adapt yourself, to bring that expectation to some sort of reality.
Thus the secrets are revealed.


The Tarot helps - use it; - used as it is meant to be, it is another tool in your magic chest for getting what you want in life. It does make it easier for you.



Live Tarot readers for you today.


Desktop Tarot, books, cards and more - for you and your friends.



Award-Winning Tarot Cards, Kits, Books from The New World's trusted source.


photo courtesy pdp net

Poverty is not the answer - it is the devils trap, and as such I often go a long period of time without.

Riding the power of external forces, and going somewhere.

Poverty says, "I shouldn’t have it"....or... "I'm not allowed to have it." The spirit of poverty will tell you should be ashamed of what you have.

The spirit of success says that you are allowed to have, and can be proud of what you do have, with a measure of humility and gratitude.

Thinking in Christian terms, it is much like this:- 
(If you are not a Christian, suspend your prejudices for the moment, and follow the method, and see how it actually works)

The devil  doesn’t want you to be free financially… he doesn’t want you to tithe and give offerings. He (or she) doesn’t want you to live the blessed life, and use your resources to advance the kingdom of God, or good.


With the beliefs of acceptance and value, you in most religious terms - are Blessed. Which means having a seemingly supernatural power assist you.


When we use money for righteous purposes, we are laying up a treasure in heaven. That’s why we need to be good stewards of our money…

In Luke 16:10 Jesus, says…

"He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much."...........if you will be faithful with little, God will bless you with abundance.

If you have been trustworthy with someone else’s property, you will be trusted with property of your own.


 Deuteronomy 8:18

18; Remember the lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath.


Tim. 6:10
"…the LOVE of money (or worship thereof) is a root of all kinds of evil."

Money in itself is not inherently evil, what this means is that greed, covetousness, and selfishness, are all manifestations of the poisoned spirit.

How to avoid poverty?

• Does God want us to be poor or rich? Although God may give us poverty to test us and make us strong and humble, 
• He wants us to have wisdom, insight and understanding. These virtues bring wealth and riches.
• Hence, God don’t want us to eventually become poor. 

• He wants us to become a tree that bears good fruits – a truly wealthy person that shares blessings to the poor. 

• Now, if you are experiencing poverty, the following are the teachings of the Lord that can get you out of poverty and starvation.

We must humble ourselves to the Lord and praise Him – because He is the one who take us out from poverty and gives as wealth and riches.

     Samuel 2:7-8
    The LORD sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and he exalts. He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor.

    Deuteronomy 8:18
    “Thou shalt remember the LORD thy God: for it is he that giveth thee power to get wealth, that he may establish his covenant which he swear unto thy fathers, as it is this day.”

We must not over-indulge ourselves in pleasures. We should avoid drunkenness and gluttony. Pleasures, drunkenness and gluttony really drain our money, weaken our body, and cause diseases – another huge expense in the form of hospital bills- now or later.

    Proverbs 21:17
    He who loves pleasure will become poor; whoever loves wine and oil will never be rich.

    Proverbs 23:21
    for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.

    Proverbs 10:3
    The LORD does not let the righteous go hungry but he thwarts the craving of the wicked.


    Proverbs 22:16
    He who oppresses the poor to increase his wealth and he who gives gifts to the rich — both come to poverty.

    Proverbs 11:24-25
    One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.

    Proverbs 28:27
    He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many  curses.

    Proverbs 13:7
    One man pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.

Finally, we must not just use our mouth,- but we must use our hands to execute and do our works. 
People do succeed in throwing poverty away because mostly they use actions, and they have good plans – or develop them, as they go along.

    Proverbs 14:23-24
    All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty. The wealth of the wise is their crown, but the folly of fools yields folly.

************

Poverty self-generates a psychology of its own, which leads to different decisions (or not).

Belief, and action of success - and hope with a future plan leads to better decisions, and surprisingly good results.



 Recommended links to help you.

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.



Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-



Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.







Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -







Become the best you can be with Mindmint

A higher Awareness bringing you a better life.

Someone suggested self hypnosis - does it really work?

'Getting what you want in life'

When we think of hypnosis we often think of or remember the on stage shows of Derren Brown, Émile Coué de la Châtaigneraie, The Amazing Kreskin, - or the native witchdoctor and their spells.

Those all change peoples behaviour responses to the showman/shamans intonations or command.


When you see what is happening you can make the technique work easily - and do it for you to help you.

It is a simple 4 step system, with an invocation by someone in authority. In this case the authority of you is going to be you.

It's claimed to fix any health, love,weight, or money - any problem you have in fact. If you have a big problem- see your local licensed professional. 

What is does and will do - is change your response to triggers or events - if you have a good teacher.

You are better with a program without direct person contact initially, some therapists are in a guru mentality, and may take advantage of you.



One 4 step system (with a guarantee)
Step 1. CLEARING This is a hypnotic recording that allows the release of negative energy and influence in general. An  imagery used is that you are lying in a most pleasant stream of water. You are asked to conceptualize how you want to be.


Step 2. HYPNOSIS This recording will take you as deep into hypnosis as you want.
At the deepest level you are given hypnotic suggestions identical to the suggestions that relate to the other parts.

Step 3.  SUBLIMINAL
Brings growth into the suggestions (effective while you do other things).

Step 4. SLEEP LEARNING Continues the suggestions effect while you sleep;- the committment of action is the reinforcer here.


Other styles follow similar ways - and given time to experiment - you can even learn to do it for others.

Like everything, it is uncommon for bags of gold, or whatever you want to directly fall from the empty sky- you must move towards it or them with some activity, to make sure it works for you.

Having done years of sleep tapes alone, my advice would be a short sleep tape as you go to sleep--not the mass media TV-- and only a short one so your body can recover and rebuild while you sleep.
Then on awakening try for quietness -use that time for reading something helpful/inspiring or for your own thoughts.You may have to awake several minutes early.

Doing your self hypnosis exercises mid-morning, or mid-afternoon - while you can stay awake after,seems to have the fastest results.




Recommended links to help you now.



OR



Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition  


   


Turn your computer into the ultimate meditation assistant.





 





pic courtesy Keith Allison- flickr

Having the home team advantage and using it for your benefit

Creating your own advantage

How is it that you hear about people that make a complete reversal in their lives, and overnight become very successful, happy, and fulfilled beings.

Perhaps the reason this is so fascinating is that it happens so rarely.When it does happen, on the outside, the major life change is related to a career, location, mate, or some other important aspect of the person’s life. Inside them the progress has been going on unseen.

Making good decisions regarding these different areas of your life is an important factor in your success. In most sports, there is something called the home team advantage, which means that when a team is playing at home, it tends to perform much better than when they play away. 

When a team is at home, it is where it practiced, and is encouraged. cheered. and is supported by the spectators, whereas visiting teams are often booed. 

Consider this explanation from Wikipedia:

'In most team sports where the concept of home and away stadiums is found, the home team is considered to have a significant advantage over the visitors. Due to this, many important games (such as playoff or elimination matches) in many sports have special rules for determining what match is played where.......'

The home team advantage is an important concept in sport, and it is a proven factor in how well teams do. If this concept applies to teams, how do you think you can apply it to everyday life?


 When a team away from home scores a goal, people boo or do not make the team feel validated for its efforts. When the team away from home does something wrong, people may cheer.

 The psychological message transmitted is that people only approve of the team away from home when they are doing poorly.

Your success in your career and in your life can be affected by whether you are living, working, and associating with which crowd.

What generally separates people who do not have all the gifted attributes of success is the sheer determination and self-belief inside of them. 
Having heart and drive can make all the difference. If you are going to reach your full potential, you must possess heart and drive. This is something that wins, despite any uncontrollable obstacles that may arise.

Heart and drive can be killed, though, if they are not supported. The best thing you can do for yourself is to put yourself in a position where you are supported, where you have the home team advantage.


When you trace the cause of someone with a lot of potential falling behind in life, when you see sickness and ill health, when you find people not trying hard enough, when you see failure and despair, generally somewhere along the line you will find someone who has been negatively affected and otherwise discouraged by people somewhere along the way. 

I am sure there are some people you know who seem to have problems all of the time: Things go wrong for the person wherever they go. They get in auto accidents; they accidentally break things; they have all sorts of health problems; they make stupid mistakes and get fired from jobs; people around them have all sorts of issues as well. I have known many people like this.

• Have you ever known someone whose friends and associates are always getting sick? and/or
• always having accidents?
• getting into trouble?
• in crisis?
• having financial problems?
• always losing their jobs?
• always unhappy?

I have, and I urge you strongly to move away, from these people - you can support them - but at a physical or emotional distance. 

The continuous stream of negative results and their reactions to it have become their identity.

You have the ability to set the stage, and determine the supporting cast in your own life.

If you are spending time with a person who is invalidating your efforts and your life, the odds are you will be negatively affected. Similarly, if you are around someone who is constantly validating you and giving you approval, you may benefit tremendously through your association with this person.

I have known of many people throughout the years who were closely connected with someone, whether it be a parent, friend, partner, or someone else. 
The person they were connected with had a huge fear of the person leaving them, and therefore their personal interest was in keeping the person down, making sure that the person did not improve, or change, to such an extent that they could ever leave them. 

A parent who does not want his or her child to go away from home show all sorts of illnesses to keep the child around and may also discourage any of their efforts at self-improvement. A parent who has the need to feel superior to his or her child may also keep the child down in subtle ways.

In personal relationships, a man or woman may discourage a mate from trying to get a better job, looking better, and so forth, for fear that this might lead to separation and abandonment. 

This person might relay negative feedback about his or her partner’s accomplishments but hold back positive feedback or information that is likely to be helpful.

The objective of such people is to keep other people down. People can hold you back by direct means, and they can also do so through indirect means. For example, a friend or significant other who does not compliment or notice the positive things that you do, or who always finds fault in the positive things that you do, can have a very traumatic effect on you in the long run. 

Making you self-conscious of your faults and always pointing these out can also be a seriously negative influence. Relating about nothing other than negativity, impossibility, and so forth can also have a very negative effect on you. If any of this sounds familiar to you, it is probably time to evaluate your relationships.

Remember of the home team advantage - you have the right and power to choose supporting players, an even playing field, and a space that is bright - that allows you to be in your best light. 




 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.



Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-



Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.






Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...
Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.


Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -



 

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

photo courtesy of public domain

The ability to arouse our emotions either for good or bad is what really drives us

We can either do this for ourselves, or allow others to do it for - or
to us.


Your ability to use emotion to connect with others is something that will have a profound impact on your success in the world.

People are seeking connection, and  this is one of the most important things others generally desire. Their decision-making ability is based on emotions, and/or the seeking of that connection.

One of the biggest mistakes most of us make in our work or business, is thinking that being professional is enough. As well as the practical skills, an emotional connection and to allow another to  feel connected or heard

The more of a bond you create with others, the more you are likely to be employed, and the more you are likely to do well.

If people feel an emotional connection to you, they are likely to want to be around you.


A note in point - if someone is unable to connect with others emotionally, they will typically feel alone and isolated.

Connectivity is what every relationship is built upon. It’s getting in touch, feeling what the people you are with feel, seeing life the way they see it, and looking at the situation from their point of view.

 It’s about conveying to others that you appreciate what they’re doing and that they are of some value.


You can do this even if you do not like them,and what they are doing at that moment may not be of use;-

 Yet to them it is - so encourage them for what good they do.

As you must encourage and value you for the good you do.

pic courtesy of  www.public-domain-image.com

How to use the talking puppet to change people,or are you being changed? You and propaganda.

The puppet or marionette, is used to tell a story- and can be used to tell stories that are too troublesome to directly tell.

In old times of the religious church the practice of ventriloquism was a favoured way of getting the congregation awed by the voices of the spirits.
They were distracted, and couldn't tell where the voices was coming from:- (now we can do it with wifi and speakers).

With the voices of the ether speaking with a often deep power- the congregation was of course - after singing/hymns/lectures, ready to be awed.


A true story.

Having a close friendship with an attractive person of the opposite sex, I began to notice challenges as we got to spend more time together.

She would often get phone-calls from her friends at odd times, and being a cheerful responsible sort she would answer them and listen to their problems at all times of day-(and night).

I noticed that each of the girls that phoned really needed her to still be there for her. And she seemed to enjoy being there for them.

Naturally a couple of times the phone rang during intimate moments, which you got used to in a way.

A few months on, and a rumor started circulating at work (most of us worked at the same place) that things were not good at my home.

Within a few short weeks, it was the talk of the building. None of this was true; however, the rumor persisted because I always kept to myself. The friends of the girl seemed to be delighted by this rumor and seemed sure to keep it in circulation, at any given opportunity.

In this case, someone who was respected before. quickly became the lesser valued person, all based on this rumor. By the time the rumor had circulated enough, in those few weeks-life became very strained at work, and at home.

However, because no one knew much about me, the rumor ended up getting repeated over and over again, until it became the truth as far as anyone was concerned. Nobody else I thought was there to defend me and I didn't make a lot of effort to deny what was untrue.  

Not long after, the strain became too much for my partner, and we separated. I guess her friends enjoyed the now closer, and not limited time.

The not so subtle technique of puppetry- a distraction is formed, then a pattern is made that the 'empty-headed' follow. Cruel but true.

This is an example of how propaganda can be used against someone. Propaganda is a significant and dangerous thing you will ever confront in your life. It is something you need to guard against, and also something that you can often prevent just by being more known by those around you. If people do not have any information about you at work, they will simply invent it. If there is no information available about some person, place, or thing, others will always invent it. This is the weak person's nature.

In war, the news media will only present the story the favoured way, and one could say using false propaganda, which is meant to create problems for the enemy, by disrupting the peoples belief and support.

When you understand words and their massive power to influence the minds and actions of others, you can understand why propaganda and its effective use can undermine countries, groups, and people with ease. It can turn people against an enemy, it can make detractors support an enemy, and it can turn people against their own leaders. Propaganda is amongst the most effective and harmful tools available in warfare, business, and personal relations.

What I learned was one of the best ways to protect against false rumors is to always make yourself known and to be outspoken in a positive way, forming obvious alliances with other influential people.The weak have difficulties toppling the supported strong.

People should know your story- about your work in that place of business.When they know your story and your position, the less likely it is that rumors and falsehoods will circulate about you.

If you are confronted with a false rumor about yourself, the best thing you can do is to prove it untrue

The weak will take some convincing, sometimes you may have to engineer situations were they can excell, or not,- to help them out.


If you have show courtesy and have made people feel valuable and important in their own way, most will not want to spread negative information about you, and they might even go to great lengths to stop the spreading of such information.

Develop your own team of supporters - the weak are always there.


 The girl's friends in the story above may have been past saving- as their behavior only fitted a stable pattern that they knew. These ones you must leave to play in there own mud-hole.

 Normally if you use the third person technique with diplomacy, you will see a change.





https://commons.wikimedia.org photographer = Jorge Royan / http://www.royan.com.ar

What do I do now? I'm lost.

Choosing life's new direction is important. Especially to you. It is always best long term to choose your own direction, rather than allow things or someone to choose it for you.

For survivals sake, we must sometimes do what we can at the time- to eat, and live. As we might struggle through this time, it can be easy to fall into the trap of giving all our energy to the problems, then relaxing with a substance or group that keeps us contained.

In our society we may be the wrong color, religion, race, or be tarred with a brush some else has held.

 Remember they held it-not you;- you may have just stood still long enough to be painted.

Move a little past this and begin to think how can add your own lifes desires to the day.


Suspend your reality for a while, and....

To discover your life’s mission, ask yourself:

 

 

What has always come naturally to me? What am I naturally good at? What would I like to   become good at? Why?

What do I really think is important in life (values)?Why?


 If I were absolutely free of any must-be and have-tos, and had to choose a single thing to do or create, which one would I choose the most?

What feeling makes me feel good about myself?

What were the most pleasurable moments in my life? What makes me smile? (What will make others smile = cash)

What activity makes me feel so good that I could do it all day long? 

What would other people pay for? 
 
What helps me overcome challenges and hardships?
(Develops a support 'system') 

What helpful and positive message would I like to send to the World?

What would matter the most at the end of my life to me?

What can I use right now to begin? 

Think of ways to begin with little money first off-as returns must exceed investments for survival. 

What is first step I can take towards the path of success I have created?

Remember - lost is being unsure where you are in that moment, an unsettling feeling of being not connected with a reality you want or desire.

You have the ability to change the way you see the world, and step by step change it for you. 

photo courtesy of www.PDPics.com

When does the dance start - a story about intention

Desire and action bringing rewards

 As she shyly stood there in the dress of her dreams, the hall echoed with the sounds of the dance band.

All the other boys and girls really looked like they were having fun.She felt alone, and began to wonder if it was the way she looked, or even the dream dress she and her mom had sewn together.

 She remembered how they laughed together, and how her mom had quietly shared how embarrassed that she had felt at her first dance.
She had felt so beautiful when she stood in front of the mirror at home. Now all her friends had left her, and were dancing with the boys.
What was wrong? I am clean-even the priest had complimented her as she walked past the church on the way to the dance hall, and all the boys heads turned as she walked in.

The song ended, and her friends came back and sat with her, chatting excitedly about their dance partners.She tried to join in, yet they didn't really seem to want to listen. She thought about it, and replayed the scene in her mind of the boys coming over to ask each girl for a dance. why didn't they choose me? especially when they all seemed to look at me in the beginning.
In a few more minutes the music would change, and another dance would  be.
"I'll pick a boy to dance me," she said aloud. There was a sudden silence as all the other girls stopped talking. Then they began to say-"you can't do that-it is never done like that-that's unfair-you will pick the best one-what about us":
She said-"you know I think you are right-but I'm going to try just to see how it goes"

She stood up, and walked across the room-half doubting herself. As she reached the group of boys they turned and looked- she said " I would like to dance with you".............

Act upon your desire with an intent of purpose-most are afraid of that.

Most people will be able to led with that as well - note the groups seeming fear of the beauty and her confidence.
They may never approach you, and often not the one you want may end up approaching you--You must relax and move forward with some confidence. She already had been given positive directives before the dance had started.



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Perception and influence - the magician and the ant.

A walk to where?

Which garden path, are you being led up? The path you are choosing? Or one you are conditioned to.

Starting with the ant as an example, - it can only have a few hundred thousand cells in the entire nervous system, compared to man’s multiple billions of cells in his brain alone. Some would say a woman has even more.

 Each ant, like each person, is a living breathing identity with behavioral patternings- (learnt stuff) in its nerve cells. In the ant’s case, the behavioral patternings are few in number and almost entirely genetic in origin.

 As opposed to a person whose learning is more influential on the way they approach things.

The ant learns a little behavior from experiences, but mostly it merely responds to stimuli with a few simple responses programmed into its nervous system by its genes.

Sometimes they walk around and around until they perish.

 Naturally, the simple ant behavior system has  limitations. For example, one type of ant when it smells a pheromone given off by a dead ant’s body in the nest, immediately responds by cooperating with other ants in carrying the dead body out of the hive.

 And Harvard’s  E.O. Wilson performed one of the best psychology experiments ever done when he put dead-ant pheromone on a live ant. Quite naturally; the other ants dragged this useful live ant out of the hive even though it kicked and otherwise protested throughout the entire process.

Such is the brain of the ant. It has a simple program of responses that generally work out alright; but which are imprudently used by rote.
Another type of ant demonstrates that the limited brain of ants can be misled by circumstances as well as by clever manipulation from other creatures. This ant, when walking, will follow the ant ahead, and when these ants stumble into an obstacle, they will begin walking in a circle. until someone works it out.

 So that was the history, and the ant:- let's look how it applies to people.

 

The perception system of man clearly demonstrates just such an unfortunate outcome.
Man's thinking can be easily fooled, either by manipulation, by circumstances occurring by accident.
If the stimulus is kept below a certain level, the awareness doesn't get through.

A magician was able to make the Statue of Liberty disappear after a few magic words- (the political speech). The audience sitting in the dark was not aware that it was sitting on a platform that was rotating so slowly, below their sensory threshold, that no one could feel it moving. When a surrounding curtain was then opened in the place on the platform where the Statue had earlier appeared, it seemed to have disappeared.

Note the use of an established authority figure, some well recognized words, and who in fact has control of the environment, and timing.

 And even when the realization does get through, it is often not seen for what it is.

Another  magic trick is that he removes your wristwatch without your feeling it. As he does this, he applies the pressure of touch on your wrist that you think it was the only pressure of touch. But he has at the same time applied a separate  intense pressure of touch on your body in another place.
This high contrast takes the wrist pressure below perception

Last one- you can try at home for yourself.

Put one hand in a bucket of warm - not hot water and one hand in a bucket of cold water, for a minute or two.Then suddenly remove both your hands and place them in a single bucket of room temperature water. Now, with both your hands in the same water, one hand feels as if it has just been put in cold water and the other hand feels as if it has just been placed in hot water. *(Get medical, and professional opinion or supervision, if required).

When you see perception so easily fooled by mere contrast, where a simple temperature gauge would make no error, and realize that you are being misled by that contrast, you are well on the way toward understanding, not only how magicians can fool people, but also how life can fool you.

This can occur, through deliberate human manipulation or otherwise, if you don’t take simple precautions.

Predominantly- you must think for yourself;- sometimes the influence and teachings of the group is not the most helpful for you, or humanity.



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