It tries to serve as a blunt reminder that you are being put in an artificial position of no choice.
Generally of promise of rejection - as a child it would seem to be being possibly outcast = death.
And this fear is what the controller uses, as it may often work to cause immediate or rational compliance.
If you have, and you possibly have had this message growing up, you learn to conform - sometimes a good and helpful thing - or at worst become so afraid to stand up to abuse because of that fear of rejection. You may be primed to define yourself as “unworthy”, which of course you are not.
With statements like this there is a double standard, the authority uses the words because they cause you to question your actions or beliefs -thence you'll redefine your behavior.
You do actually have a choice, maybe tolerate it until you find your way, or create a distance.
If you continue to live by that way of unspoken, or spoken promise of rejection it isn't helpful and has led to depression, and low self-esteem, in some.
A person in a position of power is not just a teacher, police, judge, or government employee. It's also our elders and families.This is called a dysfunctional relationship because the elders decide and communicate that not everyone in the relationship has equal value.
Considering safety issues,(and financial):- are their statements preventing harm to you or others? - then the statements are OK, the way of message should really be better (sadly the government employ does seem to maintain a reservoir for the unskilled in true communications - just accept that, and your life will be easier).
To develop self-confidence is the key.
Self-confidence is the belief that you can handle a certain situation correctly. It is knowing that you can get through or achieve something.
Mostly in starting - it is important that you can be more confident by not thinking the opinion of others is the number one consideration.
Correcting this problem is easy to start:- write down somewhere private a few good things about yourself, work on reminding yourself of them during the day - then at night go over in your mind how well you did; and what you can change to do better. Stay with it, soon you won't even have to write them down.
You might have people who consider you their enemy, people who are jealous of you or people who just dislike you for one reason or another. They'll never tell you that you're great or that you're talented at a particular activity, and make everyone apart from you seem the best; and so you will find it difficult to get an honest opinion about your abilities from anyone.
If they were satisfied with your actions then they may tell you that you are a good person; if not, they may label you with labels like fool, an idiot or anything else that suits their own faulty perception.
Create a distance - mentally, or physically.
If you make mistakes - change your actions, it's best to accept your mistakes without criticizing or labeling yourself.
A mistake is just that:- [mis - take] - in films you get to do the take again, you will get it right.
Sometimes the underlying cause for a lack of self-confidence is having a poor self image. An example of this is if you think that you are ugly and so lack confidence whenever you meet new people. Everyone has a fault or two, the trick is to look past them, and keep going.
People will fall in love with those who can help them compensate for their weaknesses and those who have complementary personal traits. Presenting yourself as someone who is confident can increase your chance of making someone fall in love with you.
Be a little assertive:- which is the ability to express yourself and needs without being aggressive; it's a way of communication that allows you to stand up for your rights, and at the same time avoiding violating others' rights.
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Recommended links to help you.
Prosperity and a better life - easy techniques from Mindmint
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