Will I find the right person for me? Discovering if or if

tree of love and acceptance from thorinus.blogspot.com

Finding the right one for me

How will I know when I meet the right person? - or - Is this really the right person for me?''

I often hear these questions, and have asked them at times too.

There are different reasons why people get together.....

To seek/receive or give love, validation, security and safety
To share love and to grow emotionally and spiritually
To satisfy physical (includes safety as well as sexual) needs
To leave a current situation for a better, or hopeful situation.

In a perfect world for the normal among us - the sharing, or mutual growth is the ideal.

If you feel insecure and alone, you are likely to look for someone who will fill that little bit of inner emptiness, and give you the love you are seeking; so you feel adequate and worthy.

The problem is that no one can do this for you forever; - it is something you really only can do for yourself.

Instead of asking the question, "Is this the right person for me?" why not ask, "Am I being the right person?" Am I being a person who comes to a relationship filled with love to share, or am I being a needy person hoping to get love and validation? Or is the other person too needy for me right now?

Relationships don't work sometimes because each person is disappointed in not getting what they expected to get from the other person. (The long-term dream).

Here are few essential ingredients to look for, to see if the person is to be the right person for you:

There needs to be a basic spark of attraction. Mentally and physically; you can learn this easily if you choose to.

Each of you needs to be capable of caring, compassion, empathy and acceptance for who each of you are. An ease of acceptance, with a tolerance of the individuality present.

Both of you need to be open to learning in conflict, rather than just wanting to win and be right.

Both are best to want to learn or to have similar views on your future lives.

Other ingredients, such as common interests and values, acceptance of beliefs, etc, are also important, but the above three ingredients, will help to sustain the relationship.

To know if this is the right person for you, be aware if your intent in being in a relationship is to learn together and share. A person who comes from a growing or full place within, notices others, and may be attracted to a similar level person.

N.B. Conflict of some sort can occur in all relationships, and if both people are not open to learning about themselves and each other within it, the unresolved conflicts will eventually cause the end of a relationship. Since not many of us enter relationships fully healed, it is important to know that your partner is willing to work through things, rather than just protect against it with controlling behavior.
Mutuality is a good plan, as the unilateral desire to control things and manipulate them to satisfy our ideal outcome doesn't come from love. It comes from the fear of letting go, the fear that things aren’t going to turn out the way you want them to. Fear and control do not seem to make happy partners.

Develop a contentment within yourself - the positive results will surprise you.

Some recommended links to start you on your better life.....