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| Bare Maiden with your world in her power. |
Most girls or woman, and their male equivalents, use manipulative techniques to get what they want during a relationship, and more so in a breakup - this is their power-base.
Having not been able to either control you, or get exactly what they want quickly enough, they use their well practiced and/or their friend's techniques, to effect pain on you - so they maintain their belief (to them) of their omnipotence.
This is something you must keep in mind, when you have been 'discarded' or in their words 'dumped.'
Do go back and read the Miss Battles post to get a better idea of where they are coming from - this will help you move on to better things in your life.
Primarily, be thankful, it happened now - rather than in a seriously life threatening time. No matter how beautiful they are on the outside, or whatever other attributes they have or had - there is always someone better. They have in fact proved that, and their un-trustworthiness, by considering you beneath their or their friend's aspirations, and treating you as they have.
A few steps to getting over a breakup
1) Understand that you're thoughts and memories create the 'feelings' that you are are still in love with her. As attractive, as she was, that was a great life experience then.2) There are millions of date-able women in the world. There are literally millions of women as good, or better, than her.And of course millions who are similar or worse - let's think 50/50 for the moment - reality says otherwise - but think like this for now. There are over 3 billion women in the world and the median age for them world-wide is dependent on the country you are in then.
There are prettier women, there are sexier women, there are smarter women, there are younger women – anything you can think of there are millions more.
To be obsessed with this one in a sea of millions is a good focus, (she thought so) while you are with her, - but now you must pay attention to your own growth.
All her “great” qualities were how she presented herself, and something you made up in your mind. The truth is that women will change to please you in any way you desire. Women are actors in 'love', and your hobbies and interests will become hers. A better woman will always be found.
3) She is not your soulmate, your true love, the one or anything else. She is a girl you partnered with for a while.
Soulmates and true love is an invention of the mass media, movies and sold to the gullible masses.
If she was your soulmate or your true love you would still be with her and everything would be roses.
If true-love existed then she would still be with you. It isn’t true love you have, it’s true infatuation because she played you really well.
4) Realize that when another girl comes along you will begin to forget all about the old one. The new one will of course force this requirement as well. The way you get over your dog’s death is you mourn for a while and then you go to the puppy pound and pick up a new dog. Similarly, the way you truly get over a woman is to get a life outside of them.
5) Do not watch emotional movies or listen to popular music. The media is planned to hold in this place, so you will waste money buying her affections. Rather than consume media that makes you sad, you must consume media that uplifts you and motivates you for the future - whether you are with her or not.
6) Realize that you dodged a bullet by breaking up. As it could not last, it will not last, it is best that it’s over with now, instead of in the future when much more will be at stake. A little heartache is a whole lot better than being bled dry from an unhappy ex-wife.
This girl has internal immaturity, that is not repairable - much like a dog that always bites people no matter what you do. (Don't put the girl down - you will get in trouble - leave it,- these types often cause their own fatalities later, by cancer usually.)
7) Realize that you may be sad and lonesome for a little while and accept it. You wouldn’t be too human if you had no emotions at all. Maybe you’ll spend a week or two listening to sad music and drinking too much rum, whiskey, or beer. Just don’t let it become habit. Get it out, get it over with and move on to your new and better life. You have learned something here.
8) You can now learn from your mistakes and get a better companion for your future women. That doesn’t mean you should pay them more attention or buy more gifts, you absolutely must not.
If you want a woman to be head over heels in love with you, you simply cannot be too available to her. That doesn’t mean you must be rude or impolite, but it does mean you cannot be too eager to please.
Your woman must look up to you in some way to maintain her feelings of 'love' - security really - for you.
Ninety percent of woman want a free meal ticket - you do not want to be drained by these ones, you are seeking the 10% that will continuously participate and contribute actively to life - it is called a partnership for a reason.
9) Never, ever take advice from her friends, on how to get women. They will lie, and tell you to be nice and be yourself and/or buy gifts, knowing full well that they despise the losers who do such things. Similarly, do not take advice from internet “pick up artists” hellbent on sexual conquests, another STD is not a good idea.
The best person to take advice from is the guys who have succeeded in what you have worked out you want.
10) Realize that a lot of modern - particularly western - women will never be happy with any man as long as they live. The reality is they've been fed completely fabricated romance movies growing up, as has most of her friends.
She believes she deserves everything she sees on TV., and you are the one to pay for it for her. She will always think that her perfect man, her soulmate, her white knight in shining armor is out there somewhere.
Absolutely nothing a man can do will please such women forever. These women will die alone and will never, ever care - so long as they have a house to entertain their chosen few at.
These are the women whom you cannot please no matter what. If you’re dating such a woman you should let her go immediately and find a better companion. Don’t fall for the 'saving her' idea. She isn’t a damsel in distress and she is using that on purpose to get what she wants, always has done since she was a toddler.
11) If you need physical closeness or sex- find a companion with that mutually in mind, or pay a clean professional; or ideally - as Napolean Hill says - transmute it - redirect the hormonal and societal thinking into an achievement power for yourself, and your new future.
Getting over a breakup is actually quite easy when you think about it in a logical way, and don’t listen to others.
There is a light at the end of your tunnel, whereas if you had stayed on board with this woman she would have sat there not helping, while your ship was sinking then jumped into someone else's bed, forgetting about you soon enough.
The right choice has been made for you, breathe a little easier now.
Dust yourself off and find yourself a better life, - there are sports, hobbies, building an empire, dogs, boats, vehicles, books - many many things to refocus your life on.
Be good to yourself.
Go and get a vasectomy if you haven't already - it can be reversed if necessary - it will be the best investment as far as an insurance you will ever make.
Recommended links to Help you....
Hobby ideas from amazon.
'The Dangerous Woman' or 'Venus the dark side' -- Both Highly recommended reads
Or take an Assertiveness course. This will help you stand your ground, and get what you want easily.
