Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth - Who has the power in a relationship?...

Girls in control mode

Some girlfriends are clearly abusive – they hit, yell, or push their partners around.

Others will help only when it furthers their own life agenda, or engineer or invite negative reactions with joy.

Whether you are a man or women in this person's relationship - you must do what you can to protect and improve your life.

In fact over 90% of domestic violence call-outs, are events initiated by a woman, either just prior, or a buildup of a number of events.

You being able to recognize the less obvious types of abuse, will improve your life beyond belief.

If your girlfriend doesn’t feel any guilt no matter what she does or says, this will reinforce to you her 'grand' plans of control.

She might be possibly be a sociopath. More likely this is her standard operating plan or method of getting her own way in life. Even so, read The Sociopath Next Door, by Martha Stout. It is a popularized story, yet does have a number of red flags you will learn from the book.
 It is in proper terms a mental disorder, and the primary marker, is that a person is not being self aware of - a number of or any other peoples concerns- in relation to meeting their own self-focused (seemingly insatiable) needs.

 Even better-  Roy Sheppard's books 'The Dangerous Woman'  or  'Venus the dark side' .

Each child should have been taught-

 

Aim to become the best you can be.

• You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to.
• You will experience pain from time to time, but you’ll become better.
• You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.
• The most important part of you will always be what’s inside.
• In every place you are, you must leave your mark - a good one. 
• No matter what the condition, you must continue to grow.

 This brings you a strong sense of feeling of purpose, value, and meaning, and says to you how valuable you are – and how you and others in your world deserve to be treated with respect, kindness, and love.

This girl or women hasn't;- you must - if you wish to succeed - continue? this relationship at a distance.

If you’re searching for signs of an abusive 'friend', you are in an unhealthy relationship. You do know when you are not being treated right – but you may not know how to deserve to be treated better.

Honestly, if this girl is over 13 years, and this is happening - leave - this has been their life pattern, and may only change if they go through a catastrophe - you do not need that to happen to you.

5 Signs of an Abusive Girlfriend

You can change your life. Something like a pencil on paper: – you might not be able to erase what you’ve experienced, but you can overwrite it, and definitely start over with a fresh page, not repeating the previous lessons.

 The Signs:-

1-You don’t feel good about yourself after being with her

If you feel deflated, sad, incompetent, depressed, or tired after being with your girlfriend, then she will be sucking the energy right out of you. Maybe she’s not 'abusive' – maybe she’s a life energy vampire. A friend calls them 'draining people.' Maybe she isn’t life giving or inspiring. If you walk away from her with emotional or physical bruises,or even question this, then she is abusive.

2-Your girlfriend criticizes and complains a lot.

There are different types of abuse. Emotional, physical, sexual, and financial are three types of abuse. Neglect is another sign of abuse – even though a neglectful girlfriend doesn’t seem like she’s actually abusing you. Neglect is a type of abuse the children experience if their physical, cognitive, emotional, and social needs aren’t met. Your girlfriend doesn’t have this type of control over your life, does she? If so, it’s a sign of an immature coping technique learnt from their parent/s - leave now.

3-Your girlfriend is an energy vampire.

Energy vampires drain positive energy in many ways, such as:

• Intruding on your life, ignoring boundaries and privacy.
• Complaining constantly about their partners, jobs, children, bad luck, and illnesses.
• Criticizing your hair, appearance, job, children, partner, friends, and pets.
• Not taking “no” for an answer. A sign of an abusive friend is not considering your needs.
• Being unrelentingly negative – and encouraging you to be negative, too.
• Blaming everyone else for their problems.

This is a control technique used by many bad and corrupt authorities, and is a type of emotional abuse.

4-You can’t depend on your girlfriend

Financially you should not depend on her. Nor allow her to feed off your efforts without a valid and measurable agreed return. They may use words that get to you - even though you keep trying to ignore them. Feeding off your self-esteem. They might say they feel sick, or doesn’t love part of you anymore, and if any intimate relations occur, it will be only on her terms, with minimizing statements later on. If you ask them to stop abusing you, or stop torturing you they will smile and verbally say they aren't or would never do that.

5-Your girlfriend uses you

It’s a sign of abuse when your 'friend' constantly borrows money, asks you to drive them, their children or family around, makes you take care of her kids or house or drugs, or uses you in other ways. You do know when you’re being used.
Even if you can’t see it, your friends and family will say something questioning, or avoid coming to your place.

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Realize that a lot of modern - particularly western - women will never be happy with any man as long as they live. The reality is they've been fed completely fabricated romance movies growing up, as has most of her friends.
She believes she deserves everything she sees on TV., and you are the one to pay for it for her. She will always think that her perfect man, her soulmate, her white knight in shining armor is out there somewhere.
Absolutely nothing a man can do will please such women forever. These women will die alone and will never, ever care - so long as they have a house to entertain their chosen few at.

These are the women whom you cannot please no matter what. If you’re with such a woman you should let her go immediately and find a better companion. Don’t fall for the 'saving her' idea. She isn’t a damsel in distress and she is using that on purpose to get what she wants, and always has done since she was a toddler.


If you need physical closeness or sex- find a companion with that mutually in mind, or pay a clean professional; or ideally - as Napolean Hill says - transmute it - redirect the hormonal and societal thinking into an achievement power for yourself, and your new future.


There is a light at the end of your tunnel, do let her go now- whereas if you stay on board with this woman she will sit there not helping, while your ship is sinking -she has made the holes. 

 Dust yourself off and find yourself a better life, - there are sports, hobbies, building an empire, dogs, boats, vehicles, books - many many things to refocus your life on. 

 Be good to yourself.

Go and get a vasectomy if you haven't already - it can be reversed if necessary - it will be the best investment as far as an insurance you will ever make.



Recommended links to Help you....


Hobby ideas from amazon.

 

 'The Dangerous Woman'  or  'Venus the dark side'  -- Both Highly recommended reads

 

Become Self Assertive, and more a Confident you, from today with -

Or take an Assertiveness course. This will help you stand your ground without appearing aggressive or hostile.

Assertiveness training, stress handling techniques by the world famous David Bonham-Carter.

Plan your next escape ; - you choose where to - with Webjet.

 

 

pic courtesy of Bare maidens