Rules of the game that make us, - our Success, our Luck, and my and your lives.

Playing - will I win?

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else. Albert Einstein  

The Rules that Govern Our Lives 

 

We learn, or try to learn, to live in a world that others have created over the course of known history. We are schooled either formally in an institution, or by our observations to the created world around us.
As children often reply, when asked why do they go to school by their parents - "because you, and the government make me go"

People do live life partly on their terms, - some more than others, - and partly following the plans set by other people and society.


Laws, plans, and rules are created by  -


1; - governments and institutions, and
2; - a set of rules we think we have made for ourselves; that are reflected in our values, beliefs, and in our personal standards.

Some good and helpful, some not so much.


These rules have been conditioned into our mind over the course of a lifetime by others, and by society in general.

However, we have also played our part in this conditioning process. We have been willing, or unwilling actors - and have accepted things to be that particular way.

Most of us have good intentions and honorable hopes, with dreams and goals for the future,  -  however the 'rules' which we live our lives unfortunately don’t allow us to realize our desired destination.

It is now time for a change.


Your Childhood Innocence

Think back for a moment to your childhood, with the youthful innocence and enthusiasm that you brought into every activity.
Back then you treated everything as a game. Everything you did was fun and exciting - until someone told you to "grow up".

You were told that life isn’t a game and that you need to take things more seriously. You get told that your actions could have negative consequences; that you need to protect yourself from pain; that you must hold on tight to the things you have, and that you must follow the universally accepted rules that everybody else has grown up with.


The Unfair parts of Life.

•      Life is not always filled with perfection.
•     There are people you must, and you should have avoided.
•     There are organizations you should not trust, or have trusted.
•     You will experience different setbacks and problems.
•     You may experience a mistake or two.
•     You will go through different emotions.
•     You will sometimes fail at your choices.
•     You will experience criticism and rejection.
•     You might occasionally embarrass yourself.
•     You will win, but you will find more ways of learning how to win.

Just assume that things could go wrong, and have a plan or two in place to deal with that. And of course continue on with the adaptable plans for your desired future.




One method that leads to acceptance of the 'unfair,' is the act of disassociating yourself emotionally from the experiences.
In fact the standard prose of a manipulative person, is to question if you felt a certain way. Therefore to improve your success you must be aware of this.

In reality there are no absolutely good or bad situations, - it only feels like that at the time - there are interpretations that we as people make.
What one person might interpret as an unfortunate event, another person will interpret that exact same event in a more favorable way.
And because they see it in a favorable way, they can now make more of the situation, instead of playing the victim card. Leave that victim card for others, it is a manipulation technique, that will not help you long term.

Taking the possibility approach will do wonders for your self-confidence. 

You take charge of you and now are on the way to living life at a higher level.

 

10 Good Rules for Playing the Game of Life

Rule 1: Clear Goals

Setting clear goals gives you a definite direction in life and helps you live with a sense of purpose. It redirects all your efforts towards clear aims.Something like the idea, that while you are on the sports field or the court is to get the ball where you want it to go.



Rule 2: Sense of Humor

Humor is a great tool against the adversity that life may drop in front of you. Humor will allow you to move through or around these difficulties without falling into the "victim mentality" trap. Again playing the victim card will not help you win at the game of life - it is in fact a way for you to controlled - be it by an abuser or a 'helping' organization. You must instead use some humor to keep your spirits high while you move forward.


Rule 3: New Skills

Start today, and keep at going daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.  It can be either tangible, or hands on skills, or equally as important - thinking and people skills. You can learn from both good and bad, even how not to do it - will save you some time and make it easier for you.
The perpetual life student attitude and practice will bring you fast results.


Rule 4: Calculated Risks

To venture outside your comfort zone. even a little for a start, will change your chances of winning in the game of life. Taking calculated risks and stepping beyond the confines of your normality helps expand opportunities, (luck)- provides a super platform for growth and new insights, helps you solve problems, and also goes a long way towards helping you make better decisions as you make progress through this game of life.

All your problems are solvable, however you will rarely solve them while within the confines of your normal or previous comfort zone. You must stretch beyond that, as this is where opportunity lies for new understandings and perceptions to help you find solutions.


Rule 5: Cherish Friendships

It is better to have a network of people behind you, rather than fighting or hindering you. Sooner or later you will need the support of others to help you win this game. Therefore start by cultivating your friendships today, and care for the good ones as if you wish them to last forever.


Rule 6: Accept the odd Mistake

Life involves the process of learning and growth.You might make the occasional mistake or two. Learn from your mistakes - once or twice is enough - if you are repeating the same mistakes time and again, change something - now!

Learning from a small mistake made today will indeed save you from making a bigger mistake tomorrow.
Or, perchance, learning from a big mistake today does help you gain the clarity you need to move forward in a better way.


Rule 7: Generate Plenty of Ideas and New Experiences

In order to succeed in the game of life you need to be constantly opening yourself up to a world of new experiences. They can come in the form of ideas, people, places and knowledge.

And as you begin to think differently about your life and circumstances you gather unique ideas that you can use to help move your life forward in a better way. New experiences also bring with them new opportunities to help you win in the game of life. That word luck again.

To focus on one overall idea is good, yet to get ahead, different approaches to that idea, or different ideas do open up new and maybe better paths.


Sometime ideas don't turn out 100% as expected. Great, now you can adapt. Experience and responses of others and yourself to these helps you define your direction.


Rule 8: Be a little Kind to Others

It’s said that "those who show kindness will eventually be taken advantage of." And you would be right. There will be people who will certainly take advantage of your kindness, however that’s part of the game of life. Ensure they pay you well in compensation, for that.

Kindness is not letting them take any advantage of you, or you having lesser standards for yourself; it is accepting people where they are at now.

When you are kind to others it often activates the power of reciprocity, and so it should.
Mostly you feel more confident, in control, and fulfilled that you have made a positive difference in someone else’s life.
This confidence empowers your daily decisions and actions to help move your life forward in a better way.


Rule 9: Aim for some Balance

An ideal successful life is a balanced life. A life that promotes good health and provides long-term  stability. And the way to achieve it all, is to strive for a balance.


Rule 10: Work Smarter AND Harder

The final rule for winning in the game of life is to work both smarter AND harder. This naturally improves your luck and allows you opportunities that you otherwise would not have had.

Either one on their own, will give rewards, yet to get stable long-term success, both are needed.

 

One good life philosophy to have is this - from -Will Smith the famous actor, has said-

    "The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be out-worked, period. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me, you might be all of those things — you got it on me in nine categories. But if we get on the treadmill together, there’s two things: You’re getting off first, or I’m going to die. It’s really that simple, right? You’re not going to out-work me. It’s such a simple, basic concept. The guy who is willing to hustle the most is going to be the guy that just gets that loose ball."

Changing your Luck and Succeeding in the Game of Life

Do acknowledge that the results you get from life are a direct reflection of your habitual thoughts, words and actions.

• Choose your own path and not the path laid out for you by others.
• Dedicate yourself to something worthwhile.
• Aim for daily growth and learn from experiences, from other people, and from mistakes.
• Taking advantage of opportunities to move your life forward in a better way.
• Take responsibility for your life, choices, decisions and actions without complaining, blaming or making excuses. (This empowers others- not you).
• Cultivate curiosity each and everyday.
• Ask yourself solution orientated questions about your life, problems and circumstances.
• Stay flexible in thought and open minded to other perspectives, ideas and opinions.
• Define your true core values, and boundaries.
• Keep true to your highest core values.
• Consider necessary short-term changes for long-term gains.
• Decisions, and responsibility is OK.
• Consistently raise your personal standards. 
• Evaluate and change unhelpful thoughts, beliefs, habits and fears that are holding you back.
• Leave procrastination and instant gratification for others.

****

Recommended links to help you now.






Grow yourself online in the privacy of your own home





Become the best you can be with Mindmint

I'm lonely, - how do I get the Love others have? part 8 - naturally successful in love and life.

Beautiful within.

Part 8, of the simple 10 steps to go from lonely to being in love.

 Step 8: The being of a better you, bringing to you better friends.


By now, you will have experienced some positive results, as you have followed the instructions and worked each lesson in order.

Whether the results are a feeling in yourself or some reaction in others, you know this is working for you.



Your efforts are proving to be  worthwhile. You are becoming more lovable.

We have brought out the potential that is already within you. Though it was hidden for a time, your new efforts have brought it into the open. And allowed you to grow.


With this awakening, you have probably seen the error in some of the ways you related to others, and the effects that has had.
And, importantly you have also seen the things that you were doing right.

Today, you are far more into the good than you were when you began this course.

 Progress, and success - is a matter of building the good and eliminating the unhelpful.


By improving your inner self, your outside world changes, as does your assessment of it.

It would be nice if the outside world would change first, - yet even though it may - long-term results for you will come as well, from your changes.

There is a Universal principle known as the 'Law of Attraction'. Under various names, it's been known since the time of the ancients.
Even though a simplistic approach, (and only part of what is needed)- it states that your world in a reflection of yourself. "Like attracts like." "Water seeks its own level." "Birds of a feather flock together...." etc....

In terms of relationships, it includes all the people in your life. They are also a reflection of your behaviour and that you acknowledge is acceptable.

A better you means better friendships, and relationships, be it work,business, church, mosque, family or romance.

Think of how you gravitate to the same people, places and things. And how there is a sense of comfort or ease in some familiar way. As you change yourself, so you change the things to which you gravitate to, and are at ease with. Improve yourself and the good gets better, while the bad is replaced, or fades away.

We could have given you a course only limited to love spells and psychology tricks. Or encouraged you to move to another country, city ,or place, or religion or belief system.

These would have brought results for sure, yet the constant factor is YOU.

When you allow the power within you to flow, - you make the changes that lead to enduring results, and get the true results you want. 

In seven days, you have taken the steps to discover your lovability. It is growing, and though you have only been at it for a week, the process is going well. Keep going, it will become natural to you, and help you in any situation.


 1:

 Exercise: Look over the results your lists from each of your previous exercises. Do you see a relationship between them?
Do you see that the conclusions of one list might agree with some of the other lists? This is a clue for you to combine and coordinate your efforts. Put them all together to develop your future plan of action. Put all the papers together, and away privately.
And now start the plans this minute, and continue tomorrow, and the next day, and keep going - no matter of the temptations/coercions to go back to the old ways.

This is the Secret of successful people. You must apply it - the results will please you beyond your expectations.


2:

Meditation: Imagine yourself at the center of your world. See the connections between yourself and the people, places and things you experience. Ponder what they say of you. Know that the message is getting more and more positive because you have started the process of growth. Think of how you are lovable and so will attract love.

Go back through the previous meditations and write down a week as a daily plan of which one to do that day:- then follow that plan. Soon they will become automatic responses to events - and this will change everything for the better for you.


3:

Go to one of the dating links below - allowing up to 30 minutes;- notice how you can quickly see the profiles/people that you would not want to allow in your life now. Don't worry about the seemingly good ones today - time for that soon enough.
This exercise is for you to recognize the change in yourself. Sign out.


Thought for the Day: I am lovable and deserve to be treated with love, kindness and caring. 
I know that every day, I become more lovable.



PS:-Note again how this also works for success in anything.



Part 9 tomorrow...



Recommend links to help you.

Connect with Christian singles now.








Check out Military guys and gals near you now.










photo courtesy public domain

I'm lonely, - how do I get the Love others have? part 7 - musings of luck, fate, karma, and wyrd.

Gifts of the universe

Part 7, of the simple 10 steps to go from lonely to being in love.

Step 7: The philosophy of Wyrd, in arranging the paths of your  destiny and relationships

Wyrd - an old word with a meaning of :- to come to pass, to become, or to be due - as in the actions undertaken give the valued results.


It is often compared to fortune, or luck; and explained away as fate, karma, or destiny.


Much as you work to attract relationships, there are times when it may seem that an outside power is intervening, and seems to block you.
On the other hand, if you allow it, and release your previous resistance -it may send you to a specific place or people.

While you might just be attributing your lack of success to an outside force, it could also be the work of that force known as Wyrd, - you have brought it to yourself.
It is now time to bring the good you want to you.


Wyrd is a great ally. If we can perceive its intent, we can allow it to work for us, or keep it from working against us. To look inside yourself is to see the way of Wyrd, and direct its' path.

Runes,  Tarot,  self hypnosis, and other techniques also work well in revealing Wyrd’s work.

Along with holding your place, Wyrd may also work to prepare you for a future event. It may bring to you specific persons, places and things whose role is to prepare you for the future. They are temporary situations serving as teachers and testing grounds, if you will. They may last a few hours or a few years.

Wyrd will bring you to your highest good if you work with it, bringing you that which is yours to experience and enjoy.
This is especially true in relationships. It can bring you many satisfying temporary friendships along the way, and lead you to enduring relationships with friends and companions.


 1:

 Exercise: Take out the yesterday’s list you made. Go over it carefully, and compare the standards for your own behavior with those you apply to others.
Do you expect more from others than yourself, or do you set a high standard for yourself while setting a too relaxed one for others?
Do you need to raise some standards, or change some others?

Use this exercise to see the contrast between expectations of yourself and of others. It will help you review your standards and, if necessary, make changes.

This exercise should make very clear the difference between how you treat yourself and how you treat others.

2:

Meditation:  Imagine yourself in a small boat in a river, heading downstream. The current is strong in the middle and weaker near the shores. You can let it propel you swiftly, or you can steer slowly nearer the shore. The closer to the middle you ride, the more the river is in control of your trip.
When you drift to the sides, you have control, but you move too slowly. Knowing this, you use the river to move you where you want to go. You use the swifter middle current when you need it, moving to the sides when you need to control the steering.. Because the current changes gradually, you can move closer or further. Your ability improves, and you begin to enjoy the trip.

            Now imagine that this is the River of Wyrd/fate or destiny - It will take you to your destination safely as you skillfully negotiate the currents and the river. See yourself using the river’s power when you can, and at other times using your own steering skills. Safely navigate the River, you are the one in control.
Come back to the present reality, and remember the trip throughout the day.


3:

Begin to believe your changes and actions are bringing you results.

The Secret: This inner thought will allow you to notice more readily the good opportunities, and you are developing the easy confidence to move towards them for you.


Thought for the Day: Let the Wyrd work for me. It brings me better relationships and more happy experiences. I work with Wyrd, and I learn to make it work for me. 
(You can substitute Karma, Fate, destiny, etc. for Wyrd.)



PS:-Note again how this also works for success in anything.



Part 8 tomorrow...


Recommend links to help you.


Astrology Karmic Love readings for you

Grow yourself online in the privacy of your own home


Live Tarot readers for you.


Desktop Tarot, books, cards and more - for you




photo courtesy Eric Rolph at English Wikipedia commons

I'm lonely, - how do I get the Love others have? part 6 - your own standards.

You determine who you want.

Part 6, of the simple 10 steps to go from lonely to being in love.


Step 6: Don't Settle,


People do not usually review their personal standards. Standards are usually learned in childhood, become ingrained, and then are put aside.
It benefits us to review our standards from time to time. We need to know our own limits for determining the good and bad, or what we think good, and bad , are  for us.

Everyone needs a good set of standards. The problem is that while everybody has their own standards, some peoples’ standards appear somewhat low.

The secret of healthiness is setting the standards high without being inaccessible for you.
You need to determine what is acceptable and what is not.
You do need to set a standard that includes both high ideals and a lower limit. “This low and no lower!”

This is especially important for relationships. You need to consciously review your standards when it comes to acquaintances, friends and lovers.

You need to think over what you will and will not do, in your dealings with others.

Likewise, you need to establish what you will and will not tolerate from others.

Becoming lovable does not make you an open door to all who come.
You ultimately have the responsibility of choosing those who you will let into your personal life.

There is a desperate tendency among those who have been alone a long time.
They so want companionship that they jump on the first thing to come along. And with a rational companion of the same understanding - go for it; - this how friendships start.

Others keep every opportunity at arms length or further, in a state of fear.

Whether you are very lonely or not, you must put discretion first. You want what is good for you, and you should not settle for less. Compromise means you are losing out as well as the other party, and again if it is a happy mutual understanding to solve a situation, it may be good. It usually means the proposer of the compromise wants it more their way.

Stick to your standards. At the same time, do not become severe. Give people a chance to show you who they are.
Go back and read Becoming a better leader as a secret to getting what you want in life.

Everyone has shortcomings, and a severe set of standards will refuse most of mankind! Your standards can be firm, but not super rigid. Interestingly, good people are able to be guided.


The Secret: You will find that most of the people attracted to you have similar standards. People radiate toward those most like themselves.

There may be  many people whose behavior is not up to your standards. Let them live their own way, at a distance from you. Say NO to those who are wrong for you - especially say this to yourself. And develop the friendly warmth to say YES to those who are good for you.


1:

Exercise: On one half of a piece of paper, write a list five things you are willing to do. They should be examples of the lowest you will go. These are the low end of your standards.

Below them, list five things that are the higher standard. These are the kind of higher things that are always acceptable. and which cause no discomfort.

Now, on the other half of the paper, write five things you would never tolerate in another person. These are things which you find repugnant, and would never accept.
Below them, list five things that you welcome in others. These are good things that are always acceptable.

Take no more than ten minutes to make these lists. When finished, put the list away in a private place, and forget about it until tomorrow.


2:

Meditation:  Imagine yourself surrounded by a circle of light. This barrier burns bright, protecting you. Only those who are good for you may pass. Those who are wrong are kept away.
Realize that this barrier represents your standards. See it if you wish, as your personal magnetic field, or aura. The light works for you, drawing the good and repelling the bad. Imagine that it really does just that.
Bring yourself back to the world around you.

Repeat this meditation once in the morning, then once again at night. Giving the previous meditations a rest.

3:

Added Exercises: If you think you have trouble standing up to people, develop assertiveness. You can find books to help, Amazon, Fishpond, Beanbone, or Biblio- are good online bookshops to get these books from.

Or take an assertiveness course. These will help you stand your ground without becoming aggressive or hostile.
 

If you feel physically intimidated by people, you might want to consider a self-defense course, or training books as well.



Thought for the Day: Because I set a standard, I attract those who are good for me. I am strong. I have the courage to say NO to those who are wrong, and the goodwill to say YES to those who are right for me.


PS:-Note again how this also works for success in anything.



Part 7 tomorrow...



Recommend links to help you above, and...
Prosperity and a better life - easy techniques from Mindmint

photo courtesy public domain

I'm lonely, - how do I get the Love others have? part 5 - you being noticed

Being noticed for being you - like Mairani

Part 5, of the simple 10 steps to go from lonely to being in love.


Step 5: People are noticing the changes in you.

You are probably feeling some results. It will be becoming more apparent to you that YOU are lovable. And you will be able to have the relationships you choose.
You are already making progress, and only four lessons have elapsed, - but you have done the hardest thing.
You have faced the problem taken some direct action, and made the conscious choice for progress, and that is what leads to success.

Though some notable results take time and effort, there are; lots of smaller things that come soon.You will begin to pick up on how other people show that they sense a change.

They may say something like -

• "Is that a new haircut?"
• "Did you buy a new tie?"
• "I’ve never seen you in that blouse before..."
• "Are you wearing a new perfume?"
• They may comment on your clothing, hairstyle, cologne, or other item of your appearance.

It may sound strange to you, since your hairstyle, clothing and perfume might not have radically changed.

What is happening is that people are noticing the positive change, as in how you are viewing yourself; thence the way you are now presenting yourself to the world, in you.

It is not the response itself, although that is rewarding in itself - but the fact that it is positive, that counts.

By the way, the best reply is one that acknowledges their compliment. Just smile and gently reply, "Thank you."

Once you get results, it is important to remember force pushes people away, ease draws them close, we are after long term results here.


The Secret:-Do not take these small results as a green light to push things. Remain at ease. Be content to focus the work on yourself. Let the people continue to come to you, for the moment.


1:


Meditation:  Keeping with the first three days meditation (keep doing them). Number 4 will be sorted now.
See yourself radiating positive energy. Imagine that the energy brightens you. It reaches out and touches others. You see that those who have a similar, bright energy are drawn to you.They come to you at a safe casual even pace. Because you have a similar energy, they are drawn to you, and you to them. They are attractive to you, as you are attractive to them. See yourself attracting the people who are good for you, as you are good for them. Enjoy this feeling, and that as it flows both out and in, you feel better and you are more and more lovable.

Relax, and slowly come back to the real world - rest a short while, and carry on your day with the new found brightness, and the easy freedom you have.

 2:

Journal or diary exercise: (You can get nice ones from Amazon if you want.) Keep it private.
When you begin the day, write down from two to five types of relationships
that concern you. No more.First, list the ones you have that you want to improve. Next, list the ones that you do not have, but that you want.
This part of the exercise should taken no more than five minutes.
 Put it in a safe place and forget about it.

At the end of the day, allow 30 minutes and take out the list. Look it over.
Which one of the categories can be started soonest, or which are you most likely to succeed quickly. Which are the hardest? Arrange the list, rewriting it, starting with the easiest and closest and ending with the most difficult and last. This provides you with a strategy. You begin with the easiest objectives and work your way to the more difficult ones. You do not need to finish one 100% before starting another.

The whole list, and the philosophy of change is the important thing. However, the greatest effort ought to be on those which are most important to you, and which are within your reach now.Put the papers away privately for the day.

 3:


Go to a park, or environment where there are people and it is safe for you, preferably where you will see different people-(even a shopping mall), and say hello or greet a few new people, maybe a positive compliment, and move on -this is still not the time for involvement.We are again just observing peoples reactions to a growing you.


 4:

Go to a different dating website link- Allow yourself 30 minutes on a timer: -- choose one website from the links below,-- and using what you read there; hand write - not type- not enter in the computer; hand write with a pen - on a piece of paper - (there are psychological reasons, that will help you for doing it this way); your own dating profile, using the lessons learned from the previous 4 lessons. Sign out.


Thought for the Day: I am radiant with a burst of new, bright energy that shines its light on all. I am starting to attract those who are good for me.


PS:-Note again how this also works for success in anything.



Part 6 tomorrow...


Recommend links to help you.

Spiritual click- meet your soulmate 

Meet your golf mate today - dating and companions




Meet like minded Christians to date and chat  




New dating friends from around the world




pic courtesy of pdp.net

I'm lonely, - how do I get the Love others have? part 4 -growing the beauty within.

Positively in love and growing within.

Part 4, of the simple 10 steps to go from lonely to being in love.


Step 4: Unlovable to Lovable

As you have been following directions, you will feel more confident today.

You have taken some positive steps to unlock the lovability within you. You are working with the exercises,doing the meditations and using the daily thoughts.

At the very least, you're beginning to feel that you have the potential to be lovable, that you maybe thought was hidden from you.

As we saw yesterday, gross or crude behavior can repel people, as unkempt hygiene or dress will sadly often do.

What we need to recognize today is that anyone can become lovable. No matter how badly a person felt, behaved or carried themselves yesterday, you or they can always start the process of change right now.

The ability to become more lovable is a thing of today, not yesterday, or even last week.

Again, keep in mind that appearances are a small part of it. The real work is inside you. It is the work that only you can do.

            Your progress will undoubtedly reveal things that need change. Success often shows you the thoughts and habits which no longer need to have a place in your life. Most can be handled pretty easily.

            The way to overcome old problems is this:

            1) Recognize the problem, or the negative results of your action.

            2) Replace the response, or behaviour with something more positive.

            3) Stop doing the dumb things! (With very ingrained habits, stopping may be  gradual.)

            4) Notice the rewards or relieving feelings from the change.(measure them).

             And mix up actions 2 and 3, to ensure the success stays with you


           It may seem impossible or too hard at first.Some things will require more effort.


 The Secret:-Different actions and responses from what you have done before, will give you the different results.



 Your growing lovability will begin to show. Results may be so gradual that you do not recognize them right away. However, you'll begin to notice that people are friendlier, and that you are meeting new people. You will find improvements in your relationships with others, be they co-workers, neighbors, relatives, or friends.

**There will be a handful of unpleasant toads who remain as they were. They may be grudging acquaintances, unfriendly types or rivals.
 Do not let their attitude upset you. They have decided to be that way. Nothing that you or anybody else does would ever change them.

Let them live their life, and create a distance, either mentally as an observer in their life, or leave.

Focus on the people who are friendly, helpful and kind. It is easier and more productive to focus on people who like you than waste effort trying to change people who are hostile.

Put the most emphasis on the people who are themselves likeable and who treat you kindly.




1:

Meditation: Keeping with the previous three days meditation (keep doing them). Begin this daily meditation - choose say a different time;- Imagine yourself weighed down by heavy burdens. These may be a lot of full sacks, luggage, or backpacks and gear. Feel yourself slowly unloading these burdens, one by one. Feel them fall away from you, and Imagine the sound as they hit the ground behind you. Leave them there for a minute, and Now imagine that they all disappear, or vanish - leaving you standing there free and unburdened.
Take a few minutes, breathe evenly and calmly, and savor that feeling of lightness.

            Next, image yourself filling with good energy. Imagine that this energy can flow freely because it is no longer blocked by the weighted baggage. You are now in the free flow of the brilliant, friendly, happy energy -you own. Enjoy this feeling, and that as it flows, you feel better and you are more and more lovable. Relax, and slowly come back to the real world -rest a short while, and carry on your day with the new found brightness, and the easy freedom you have.

You'll only need to this particular meditation here, 2 or 3 times - to get it working for you.



2:

Journal or diary exercise: (You can get nice ones from Amazon if you want.) Take out the list you made yesterday, and look it over. Look at your assets.
Ask yourself these questions:

• Can you enhance them? 

• Can you use them to develop other strengths?

•  Now look at the other side of the list.  

• Can any of your strengths be applied to offset these shortcomings?

• Are there other ways to shrink the things you feel might be unpleasant about yourself?

• Look to see how you can capitalize on your strengths, build new ones, and minimize or eliminate your shortcomings. 

• From this, make a few brief (one to four words only) notes , about how you could possibly increase your strengths and diminish any weaknesses.

Do nothing just now, read over it once more only, and put the papers away privately for the day.


3:

Go to a park, or environment where there are people and it is safe for you, say hello or greet a few new people, maybe a positive compliment, and move on -this is not the time for involvement.
We are just observing peoples reactions to a growing you.



4:

Go to a different dating website link- Allow yourself 30 minutes on a timer: -- a website is below,-- and see how many of the profiles mention their life crisis's or problems. And how many of those ones say how they handled it, and how they approach life now.
Hint; there won't be too many, just take note of how the ones who have dealt with it now state their general approach to life.
**Stay very far away from the ones still in crisis, or with no new approaches; it will only cost you.
Sign out.

Thought for the Day:
Any un-loveliness fades away! And I am more lovable every day!

 PS:-Note again how this also works for success in anything.


Part 5 tomorrow..

Recommend links to help you.
Spiritual click- meet your soulmate 

Again - check these girls techniques to learn.


pic courtesy of public domain

I'm lonely, - how do I get the Love others have? part 3 - on being attractive to others

Some ideals are constant- the art of manners.

Part 3, of the simple 10 steps to go from lonely to being in love.


Step 3: Lovable Habits

Your inner development works best when supported by outer actions.
Actions are seen as a reflection of yourself, which of course they are.
What you do sadly tells people much about who you are. “Actions speak louder than words.”
As always actions have a more positive effect than talk.

 As you develop into a more lovable person on an inner level, so your habits should reflect this. There is much to be said in how an individual treats others. We are drawn to people who are thoughtful and considerate. On the other hand, we are repelled by those who are rude and selfish. This isn't to say that all mannerly people are attractive. Those who are not genuine are as noxious as rude persons, but in other ways.

• Your mission is to be genuine. Like attracts like, as a comfort factor mostly. 

• If you fall into the trap of being pretentious, you will pretty well attract people of a similar nature.

• If you are genuine, you will attract people who are honest and forthright.

• It is not enough to adopt a set of habits just to look good. You do need to back them up with the right attitudes.

Many of us have known someone whose behavior was exceptionally crude. It may have been their language, demeanor or lack of awareness, and response. You avoid including them. He or she may be a good person, but their behavior offends people.

The antidote is to develop the kind of behavior that people find acceptable. It is easier than you may think. The best remedy is basic manners.

• Make sure “Please” and “Thank You” are part of your everyday vocabulary.
   
• Minimize the use of swearing and vulgar references.
   
• Show consideration for those around you.
   
• Avoid doing things that might make them uncomfortable.
   
• Learn to be tolerant of the shortcomings of others without being a doormat.
   
• Use good, basic table manners when eating. Few people want to eat in the company of a slob.   (You don't need to know how to use all the extra forks at a fancy dinner, just be pleasant.)

 The Secret:- People who behave better will find themselves welcome in more places.

As you begin to develop your lovability, work to develop lovable habits. They can be the difference between companionship and loneliness.


1:

Meditation: Keeping with the previous two days meditation (keep doing them). Begin this daily thought - choose say a different time initially - lunchtime maybe -Imagine yourself going forth in the world and being welcomed everywhere. See yourself being met favorably. Imagine being invited to places that you have always admired, be they real or fictional. See your own courtesy being well-met. Know that within you, you are lovable and welcome. Know that this energy works through you See it really showing in the way you treat others.



2:

Journal or diary exercise: (You can get nice ones from Amazon if you want.)Take a piece of paper. Two columns. On one side, write down five things about yourself that you think people would find endearing. On the other, write five things which people might find uncomfortable about you. Take only five minutes to do this. When finished, put it away. Forget about it until tomorrow.




3: 

Special Exercise: If you have a tendency toward profanity, make a “cuss jar.” Try very hard not to use foul language Every time you and use a vulgar word, put money in the cuss jar. A dollar should be okay. By making yourself pay, you get added incentive to avoid using profanity. this will help minimize your use of it. When finished, donate the money to a good cause.-Say; The Earth Forest Program.

4: 

Go back to yesterday’s exercise: Allow yourself half an hour for this revision.Take out this list.
Look over it today, and see which of the things that you decided needing improvement, and the whys.

What little things have you done since you last saw this list, that have started you on the way to your desire? Did your activities work? Why or how can you do them differently to work for you? Write it all down, and what you can do in the next day or so to move on - on this piece of paper or an attached sheet.Put it away in a private space.
We will come back to this one tomorrow, as you see the progress as you improve and develop your strengths.

4:

Go to Amazon or Fishpond books and find a book on social graces and manners:- early 1900-1950's may be your best help - a link is below - and read and observe without desire or criticism -how people in previous ages have dealt with it. The library may be a good place too.

Thought for the Day: Everything I think, do and say is a reflection of myself.
 With the help of my God/s, I am really getting better and better.

 PS:-Note again how this also works for success in anything.


Part 4 tomorrow..


Recommend links to help you.

◊ Books and goodies - from Amazon
 

◊ Rare books and more from Fishpond  bookshop
 

Again - check these girls techniques to learn.


pic courtesy of  https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HawardenCameron.jpg-Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons

Navigating Uncharted Waters finding your way in the unknown path of life

On a ship or yacht, it is the law, as well as good practice to use an updated chart (a map for water).
What do you do when no such chart exists?

Depends a lot, on how you found yourself there,- are you choosing to take that route? - Were you forced in by accident, - or a greater power (the weather)? - Did you follow someone else's direction? - Did you make a mistake?

Exactly like life, as it seems to put you in those situations.

For a start - you have a learnt awareness of you and your capabilities - how far and fast is comfortable to go. You reconfirm your safety gear,and ensure all are ready in case of the worst.

You take stock of how it is now, and what you want the desired result or place to be.

You know your supporting crew, and which one's have the abilities- you are also aware of the detractors - whom you are guarded with.

You ensure you and your crew are adequately clothed and fed, with sufficient sleep.

 Being cognizant of the reality of nature- the weather and the tides or current - you use them to help you. The stars, and their predictability are your friends- you in fact  appreciate the darkness. The sun brings light, warmth, and a position marker, You pay attention to the existing indicators of birds, seaweed. fish and phosphorescence. and allow them to assist you.

If you have electronic tools, you use them all to establish your position or track; if you can communicate with an experienced honest associate to help you, you will. You attempt to find someone on board, or able to be communicated with on shore,- that has been here before, and succeeded in getting through; if not you take charge and carry on - improvising tools as you need to.

In this situation it is commonly the pirates awaiting the spoils- as a taxation or their takings that are your only off ship worries. You have enough skill to know who to avoid, - being the naysayers, the inexperienced, and the blowhards. And you have confidence in the experience as the master of your vessel to be sure of your success.

You make your way with good care, taking notes and making your own chart for another time when you may return, or lead others through the same passage, With lookouts at all positions on your vessel you navigate through the uncharted rocks, gently pushing aside the expected masses of floating trash, attracting numerous porpoises to joyfully surf in your bow wave.

Some of the crew are relaxed and carry on their daily tasks, and others are like a squawking seagull- which you accept -yet pay no heed to-they offer no value to the situation.They will settle down once you are in familiar waters with their bottle of beer or rum and have great pleasure in themselves as a new blowhard.


You make your way through the passage, with all intact, and a new found respect for yourself and your vessel. Knowing that you can do it easily again.



A poem to remember-


~ THE SLOCUM SOCIETY ~ 

In an age when mass society has rendered obsolete the
qualities of individual courage and independent thought,
the oceans of the world still remain,
vast and uncluttered, beautiful but unforgiving,
awaiting those who will not submit.
Their voyages are not an escape,
but a fulfillment.





photo courtesy wikipedia commons S.V. Alexander von Humbold- by Żeglarz

Having the home team advantage and using it for your benefit

Creating your own advantage

How is it that you hear about people that make a complete reversal in their lives, and overnight become very successful, happy, and fulfilled beings.

Perhaps the reason this is so fascinating is that it happens so rarely.When it does happen, on the outside, the major life change is related to a career, location, mate, or some other important aspect of the person’s life. Inside them the progress has been going on unseen.

Making good decisions regarding these different areas of your life is an important factor in your success. In most sports, there is something called the home team advantage, which means that when a team is playing at home, it tends to perform much better than when they play away. 

When a team is at home, it is where it practiced, and is encouraged. cheered. and is supported by the spectators, whereas visiting teams are often booed. 

Consider this explanation from Wikipedia:

'In most team sports where the concept of home and away stadiums is found, the home team is considered to have a significant advantage over the visitors. Due to this, many important games (such as playoff or elimination matches) in many sports have special rules for determining what match is played where.......'

The home team advantage is an important concept in sport, and it is a proven factor in how well teams do. If this concept applies to teams, how do you think you can apply it to everyday life?


 When a team away from home scores a goal, people boo or do not make the team feel validated for its efforts. When the team away from home does something wrong, people may cheer.

 The psychological message transmitted is that people only approve of the team away from home when they are doing poorly.

Your success in your career and in your life can be affected by whether you are living, working, and associating with which crowd.

What generally separates people who do not have all the gifted attributes of success is the sheer determination and self-belief inside of them. 
Having heart and drive can make all the difference. If you are going to reach your full potential, you must possess heart and drive. This is something that wins, despite any uncontrollable obstacles that may arise.

Heart and drive can be killed, though, if they are not supported. The best thing you can do for yourself is to put yourself in a position where you are supported, where you have the home team advantage.


When you trace the cause of someone with a lot of potential falling behind in life, when you see sickness and ill health, when you find people not trying hard enough, when you see failure and despair, generally somewhere along the line you will find someone who has been negatively affected and otherwise discouraged by people somewhere along the way. 

I am sure there are some people you know who seem to have problems all of the time: Things go wrong for the person wherever they go. They get in auto accidents; they accidentally break things; they have all sorts of health problems; they make stupid mistakes and get fired from jobs; people around them have all sorts of issues as well. I have known many people like this.

• Have you ever known someone whose friends and associates are always getting sick? and/or
• always having accidents?
• getting into trouble?
• in crisis?
• having financial problems?
• always losing their jobs?
• always unhappy?

I have, and I urge you strongly to move away, from these people - you can support them - but at a physical or emotional distance. 

The continuous stream of negative results and their reactions to it have become their identity.

You have the ability to set the stage, and determine the supporting cast in your own life.

If you are spending time with a person who is invalidating your efforts and your life, the odds are you will be negatively affected. Similarly, if you are around someone who is constantly validating you and giving you approval, you may benefit tremendously through your association with this person.

I have known of many people throughout the years who were closely connected with someone, whether it be a parent, friend, partner, or someone else. 
The person they were connected with had a huge fear of the person leaving them, and therefore their personal interest was in keeping the person down, making sure that the person did not improve, or change, to such an extent that they could ever leave them. 

A parent who does not want his or her child to go away from home show all sorts of illnesses to keep the child around and may also discourage any of their efforts at self-improvement. A parent who has the need to feel superior to his or her child may also keep the child down in subtle ways.

In personal relationships, a man or woman may discourage a mate from trying to get a better job, looking better, and so forth, for fear that this might lead to separation and abandonment. 

This person might relay negative feedback about his or her partner’s accomplishments but hold back positive feedback or information that is likely to be helpful.

The objective of such people is to keep other people down. People can hold you back by direct means, and they can also do so through indirect means. For example, a friend or significant other who does not compliment or notice the positive things that you do, or who always finds fault in the positive things that you do, can have a very traumatic effect on you in the long run. 

Making you self-conscious of your faults and always pointing these out can also be a seriously negative influence. Relating about nothing other than negativity, impossibility, and so forth can also have a very negative effect on you. If any of this sounds familiar to you, it is probably time to evaluate your relationships.

Remember of the home team advantage - you have the right and power to choose supporting players, an even playing field, and a space that is bright - that allows you to be in your best light. 




 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.



Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-



Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.






Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...
Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.


Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -



 

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

photo courtesy of public domain

When will things be better for me ? Stories of emergence ...

At times, I  have moments when I feel like I'm getting nowhere, almost like a slowly rusting pot.

Yes, I know that if I polish it, that it will be restored to all its glory, and if I use a power tool or acid-based instant cleaner, it may well pit.



 But, if I take the care to slowly and gently remove the layers, the  pot will be a joy to admire, and a family heirloom for generations.


As in the often told story of the butterfly and the chrysalis - it emerges in its beauty in its time.

We can find examples of people in today's world, that inspire us to take in the goodness of the world and emerge as the beauty we are.

Years ago I was visiting a close friend, and she drew my attention to a TV show.
Not being a TV bug (addict), I would not have seen it without this friend.

It was the initial show of Susan Boyle on a talent quest show.
Like as seen on TV, I too honestly questioned  her looks, yet as she sang - the beauty was stunning.
In fact one of the rare CDs I would pay money for.

Yes, that is Susan Boyle in that photo.  Isn’t she gorgeous?  Absolutely stunning.
 Watch her story on you tube, visit her facebook page- or wherever you are able to.

It seems that we sometimes need to hide out in the protective cover of a cocoon.  This was Susan Boyle’s life in Scotland.  But, one Easter, she took the first brave step out of her shell and began the metamorphosis into a beautiful butterfly, you see today.
And, you will realize your dreams can come true too.

We all know her story.  We all heard the beauty of her voice and saw the beauty in her soul.
 As you can see, in the magazine photographs she is absolutely stunning.  They captured her essence,with the clothes, makeup, and setting,- and it is gorgeous.

Why am I writing about Susan Boyle? As her story is well recognized, it is a great example of what you can do for yourself. J.K. Rowling, Fred Hollows, even one of your favorite entrepreneurs, can be your example - it will make things a lot easier for you.

Find others like her that inspire you, real people that through their tenacity, and a little self belief have become the butterfly.

As you look around, people with low self-esteem will treat others like trash  to reduce them to a lower level. so that they themselves feel empowered.

The idea, for you, is to persist.

A good person will treat you well, and may encourage you. You must encourage yourself first.


What is your gift?  If you could be king or queen for the day, what would the day look like?

If your dreams came true like they did for Susan Boyle, would you be happy with that life?


Dream a little dream tonight.  When you wake up tomorrow, take just one step toward making your dreams come true, then keep going, step by step. Begin your plan now.

photos courtesy of  https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/ISasha and www to http://www.susanboylemusic.com/