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| You determine who you want. |
Step 6: Don't Settle,
People do not usually review their personal standards. Standards are usually learned in childhood, become ingrained, and then are put aside.
It benefits us to review our standards from time to time. We need to know our own limits for determining the good and bad, or what we think good, and bad , are for us.
Everyone needs a good set of standards. The problem is that while everybody has their own standards, some peoples’ standards appear somewhat low.
The secret of healthiness is setting the standards high without being inaccessible for you.
You need to determine what is acceptable and what is not.
You do need to set a standard that includes both high ideals and a lower limit. “This low and no lower!”
This is especially important for relationships. You need to consciously review your standards when it comes to acquaintances, friends and lovers.
You need to think over what you will and will not do, in your dealings with others.
Likewise, you need to establish what you will and will not tolerate from others.
Becoming lovable does not make you an open door to all who come.
You ultimately have the responsibility of choosing those who you will let into your personal life.
There is a desperate tendency among those who have been alone a long time.
They so want companionship that they jump on the first thing to come along. And with a rational companion of the same understanding - go for it; - this how friendships start.
Others keep every opportunity at arms length or further, in a state of fear.
Whether you are very lonely or not, you must put discretion first. You want what is good for you, and you should not settle for less. Compromise means you are losing out as well as the other party, and again if it is a happy mutual understanding to solve a situation, it may be good. It usually means the proposer of the compromise wants it more their way.
Stick to your standards. At the same time, do not become severe. Give people a chance to show you who they are.
Go back and read Becoming a better leader as a secret to getting what you want in life.
Everyone has shortcomings, and a severe set of standards will refuse most of mankind! Your standards can be firm, but not super rigid. Interestingly, good people are able to be guided.
The Secret: You will find that most of the people attracted to you have similar standards. People radiate toward those most like themselves.
There may be many people whose behavior is not up to your standards. Let them live their own way, at a distance from you. Say NO to those who are wrong for you - especially say this to yourself. And develop the friendly warmth to say YES to those who are good for you.
1:
Exercise: On one half of a piece of paper, write a list five things you are willing to do. They should be examples of the lowest you will go. These are the low end of your standards.
Below them, list five things that are the higher standard. These are the kind of higher things that are always acceptable. and which cause no discomfort.
Now, on the other half of the paper, write five things you would never tolerate in another person. These are things which you find repugnant, and would never accept.
Below them, list five things that you welcome in others. These are good things that are always acceptable.
Take no more than ten minutes to make these lists. When finished, put the list away in a private place, and forget about it until tomorrow.
2:
Meditation: Imagine yourself surrounded by a circle of light. This barrier burns bright, protecting you. Only those who are good for you may pass. Those who are wrong are kept away.
Realize that this barrier represents your standards. See it if you wish, as your personal magnetic field, or aura. The light works for you, drawing the good and repelling the bad. Imagine that it really does just that.
Bring yourself back to the world around you.
Repeat this meditation once in the morning, then once again at night. Giving the previous meditations a rest.
3:
Added Exercises: If you think you have trouble standing up to people, develop assertiveness. You can find books to help, Amazon, Fishpond, Beanbone, or Biblio- are good online bookshops to get these books from.
Or take an assertiveness course. These will help you stand your ground without becoming aggressive or hostile.
If you feel physically intimidated by people, you might want to consider a self-defense course, or training books as well.
Thought for the Day: Because I set a standard, I attract those who are good for me. I am strong. I have the courage to say NO to those who are wrong, and the goodwill to say YES to those who are right for me.
PS:-Note again how this also works for success in anything.
Part 7 tomorrow...
Recommend links to help you above, and...
Prosperity and a better life - easy techniques from Mindmint
photo courtesy public domain
