25 Easy Ways To unlock the door way to success, and close it on failure

The power within ourselves to select our...

There seems to be as many thoughts and ways to success as their are US dollars in the world.

Sometimes, as well as focusing on the possibilities, and positive ambitions in your life, it pays equally as well to limit, or expunge (get rid of) a few of the unhelpful ones that block or slow our path.

As you read on, think of the best ways to deal with them for you just now, and to be really sure of your success write them  into a private journal, so you can look back upon your progress.

There are some nice journals you can get from  Amazon online - get one and continue your journey with ease.

So we begin the journey to notice and remove the road-blocks in our life.....

1-Distractions that keep you from special moments with special people. – Particularly your children, your chosen life partners and friends, and surprisingly yourself.
Count your mutual blessings, and appreciate what you have, be it time, things, or surroundings.  Let go for a little while and just BE in the world. There are 2 easy-to-read book authors that will add a lot of this value to your life;- 1) Carlos Castaneda, and 2) Marianne Williamson, buy several of their books and read them once or twice each year.

2-Compulsive busyness. – Note the similarity to the word business, activity is good- yet with an end purpose gives you a bigger reward. Schedule time each day to not be busy, many people say early am, if you aren't ready for that don't force it. You are better to take 15 minutes of quiet time at lunchtime, or even just after your day has ended, than create a failure reminder. Many call it meditation, reflection, or visualization time; do use it to rest your mind .

3-Negative thinking about your current situation. – Life is a mirror; we get the best results when we smile.  So talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems, both to yourself and to others. Success often requires some change to get there.

4-The needless drama around you. – Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you. There are people other than you paid to deal with most of that. Focus on the positives, and the negatives will begin to fade away.

5-The desire for everything you don’t have. – No, you won’t always get exactly what you want, but happiness comes to those who do appreciate what they already have, and build upon it.

6-Comparing yourself to everyone else. – Social comparison is the thief of happiness. and the manipulation of your loan or credit card provider. You can spend a lifetime worrying about what others have, but the envy wont assist you in getting you everything.

7-Thinking about who you were or what you had in the past. – You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago.  You’re always growing.  Experiences don’t stop.

8-Worrying about the mistakes you’ve made. – Let your mistakes be your motivation to work out a different approach or response, not your excuses.

9-Worrying about what everyone thinks and says about you. –You honestly can’t spend your life changing how people treat you or what they say about you. What you can do is change how you react and who you choose to be around.

10-Self-deception. – The first and best change you can take is to be honest with yourself.

11-A life path that doesn’t feel right. – Life is to be enjoyed, not endured.  When you truly believe in what you’re doing, it shows, and it pays.

12-Everyone else’s definition of success and happiness. – You can’t base your idea of success and happiness on other people’s opinions and expectations. Some of them are either too low, or a way of controlling you for their benefit.

13-Those who insist on using and manipulating you. – What you allow is what will continue.  Give as much as you predetermine, but don’t allow yourself to be used.  Do empathize with others, but don’t lose your own voice in the process.

14-Trying to impress everyone. – One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like us, and that’s perfect.

15-All the fears holding you back. – Fear is a perception, not a fact;- sometimes a valid warning, sometimes an indicator of a needed change. The best way to gain strength and self-confidence is to have a go at what you’re afraid to do.

16-Doubting and second-guessing yourself. – When in doubt just take the next small step.  Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the most positive choice.

17-People who continuously dump on your dreams. – It’s better to forge ahead alone, than allow negative people and their opinions derail you from your path. Others will crush your dreams.  Do just once what they say you can’t do, and you will either escape their mediocrity or inspire them.

18-Thinking the perfect time will come. – There are perfect moments - it is better you make and appreciate them. Let others wait for the perfect moment.  Sometimes you must dare to do it because life is too short to wonder what could have been.

19-'Band-Aids' and temporary fixes. – Sometimes necessary; --you must act, and accept these will fail, and ensure you have replacements set up to work for the long term. Deal with problems directly before they might deal with you.

20-Close-minded judgments. – Open your mind before you open your mouth.  Don’t hate what you don’t know.  Opportunities are there for you.

21-Other people’s mistakes and oversights. – Be tolerant of people’s mistakes and oversights, it simply means they are human. If it is important to your success, avoid them, guide them, or learn a new way from the experience.

22-Resentment. – Kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness, nor any forgiveness for acceptance.  It’s about knowing that resentment is valid, yet a huge time soak away from your goals. Move on, and learn for yourself.

23-Any prejudicial thoughts. –Treat everyone with empathy, even those who are rude to you – not because they are a pain, but because you are an example. 

24-Regrets of any kind. – You don’t have to be defined by the things you once did or didn’t do.  Don’t let yourself be controlled by regret.  Maybe there’s something you could have done differently, or maybe not.

25-Make moves to improve yourself.- Learn from the bad - what to change for the good, and do learn from the good what does work.
Learn from observing success in others, they may not tell you their 'secrets' - yet you will notice their actions and responses.

“Dost thou love life?  Then do not squander time,
for that’s the stuff life is made of.”
―Benjamin Franklin. 

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Affirmations alone don’t work ! Harmful and self defeating reactions are more likely.

Spinning the world, or is it?

Many people who have watched "The Secret" DVD, listened to the CDs or read the same book have experienced trying to make the Law of Attraction work for them, only to be disappointed.

And it will not work for them, apart from losing weight financially.(Money out of their pocket.)

They'll feel good about themselves initially, then bored, and then frustrated/disappointed or accepting of their 'status quo.'

Affirmations alone do not work in the way you hope, in any of the usual forms marketed to you.
There are several other components to the answer or our solution.

I first learned about the power of affirmations and visualization techniques and the laws of attraction/association over 30 years ago - also having been exposed to it years prior to that as a child.

The affirmation process is based on the following concept: thoughts create feelings, feelings create actions, actions create habits, habits create beliefs, belief systems create human identities, and your human identities create your reality.

This, like everything in the media, or even science - is only a part aspect or even half truth. The realities are either often unknown by the author or 'expert', or not a popular proposal.

As an adult I've embraced the whole concept, and spent time, effort, and money studying this subject, in an attempt to create the reality I wanted.

The majority of the self-improvement courses, books, and tapes taught me various methods of how to visualize and affirm what I wanted to create.

And again, using a good system, in a working manner will get you results.

Many of these techniques are touched on, sadly in a simplistic form, in "The Secret" materials.

It has been a great and valuable presentation, - as it has given a lot of people hope, a few a new direction in their life, and inspired a few more to begin to learn.

For me, I've meditated and visualized hundreds of positive affirmations daily. I've listened to hours upon hours of my own voice affirming what I wanted on an endless loop.

 I did mirror affirmations several times a day. I told myself that saying or thinking something negative was worse than saying a four-letter word. AFFIRMATIONS SHOULD'VE WORKED, 
but they weren’t working for me. I felt that disappointment., then the failure within - because I didn't at that stage understand why they weren’t working for me.

It became painfully evident that affirmations, alone, were disappointingly ineffective at creating the reality I wanted. Of course this is the polite version of that statement - really my first thoughts were rather uncomplimentary.


Sadly, this is one of the true secrets - relying on verbalization's alone to do the work you are meant to do actively, is unhelpful, and very very unhealthy. 

Almost like the magic pill - good short term, better than the other options, yet needs to be followed up with your own activity as a new healthy pattern.

You must see this reality: - success is a fun yet challenging path at times.

 In order for the affirmations, alone, concept to work you must have had a life with-

• functional role models, and have been 100% free of , or
• devoid of physical, sexual, or 
• all verbal abuse. 

Your mind would have to be a clean slate… free of all past pain, loss, and any dysfunctional experiences.

A great aspiration - yet for the absolute majority of people, probably not  100% real.

Unfortunately many of the self-help gurus don’t teach you to clean the slate of your mind first.
Driven by their own self-importance, they instead, teach that you can cover positive affirmations over a dysfunctional past and still create the reality you want.

As I discovered, the “keep going/pile it on top” theory, alone, will not work. It is better than the negative controlling offerings of others, yet brings little measurable change long-term.

It will not work alone, it only creates a cognitive dissonance leaving you stuck in place, buying even more of their products to stay emotionally up.

The average person’s mind is cluttered with contradictory information, courtesy of their past or present, and enhanced by the media.

 This restricts the input of positive new affirmations because of the Law of the Universe that states: 

"Nothing changes until IT becomes what it is."

Another secret here - change the outside a little, or your response to the outside - to change within, and your results long-term. (it need not cost a lot - and it is better so.)

You will only start to create long term positive change in your life when you learn how to clean the slate of your mind, and make the habit to keep it going like that.
That is the great thing about good meditation training.


It has been said that doing affirmations without cleaning your mind… is like putting on a clean white top or shirt before taking a shower!
Everyone sees how good and clean you look, yet the shirt or top soon becomes dirty, and quicker than before.

***Questions, are significantly better than self-affirmations*** Try it for a few weeks - make a poster on your wall/fridge/food cupboard/mirror- or somewhere you see it a few times a day - and where the 'great unwashed' will not demean you for it; firstly of a self statement you want, and then next time try a questioning statement -in a possibility manner- for a few weeks.



'The Secret'-at the amazon shop.



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Am I an instrument in my own failure or success? What the musician in us says ....

The story goes of one of the most famous violinists in the world, who took a valuable Stradivarius violin and played in a railway subway station.

Despite more than 1,000 people walking by, only a pre-school boy and a few other people stopped to watch him. Only one person said they recognized him.

How could one of the greatest musicians in the world play for - I think it was just under an hour- in a public place unnoticed?

If you felt you were somewhat good at something, you might also feel that people did not appreciate your abilities.

You might feel like you were wasting your time and should be doing something else. And one or two people in your circle will of course say that. 

( It could be time to find some new circles!)

You will generally seek out people you are comfortable with, it is only natural. Ensure to allocate your time with people who are exceptional, and who will give you evidence that you too are valued.


Without evidence of your own greatness, you will not be encouraged, and if you are not encouraged, most people give up;- which is not success; many people do lose faith in what they are capable of.



It is now you need to become your own mentor.

A great mentor will recognize abilities in people. They will encourage them to grow in the right direction. Soon, the student may believe they are capable and will achieve. Just a few people encouraging you can make a difference in your life. And if you have had this, you must remember those times occasionally.


 You must surround yourself with the sorts of mentors, acquaintances and friends who give you this evidence. And you must be that friend to yourself.


 In hospital, addicts commonly focus on an incident—or a series of incidents in their past—as a reason they are unworthy of being happy and/or loved. Most often, it is a parent who consistently made them feel unloved and unacknowledged, which created the issues for the child, in them. And it will mostly be true. Even if a child is good at something, an unskilled or bad parent will not encourage them.

Instead of taking one wrong message as evidence they could do something differently, they take the message as evidence they have failed and are no good, so that they may still be acceptable to their current group.


It is using the bad evidence that hurts us. Conversely, using good evidence can help us a great deal.

As a successful person you must speak of various achievements you have had in the past - to yourself - and always map out a future in a way that makes it seem as if it will work out for you.

When you think of the future, you must always always use all sorts of evidence of the things you have done in the past as “evidence” that things will turn out well for you, as you have the ability to deal with it.


Joshua Bell –the man with the violin in the subway– could be a metaphor for you of the way you are living your life, at this moment.

A lot of us look for evidence to prove that we are happy, successful, popular and so forth – and some of us find it.
However, unlike Bell, many of us do not realize we are successful and great and so we stop playing without that outside evidence that we are. Become the powerful dancer in your own life.

Look within, and remind yourself quietly and constantly of your positive attributes.Doing so will make your path through life easier and rewarding. Choose your very own place in the world.

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photo courtesy of  wikipedia commons- Andreas31

Becoming a queen or king in a world of pawns

We All Have the Potential to Be Powerful Kings and Queens

A pawn is cannon fodder for kings and queens. It's also the most expendable piece in a game of chess.  Like many of you, I was conditioned to be good....to play by other people’s rules.

It has taken me a long time to develop the audacity to assert my right to live my life by my rules... ....to be assertive on my own behalf.

I think I shocked a lot of people. Some people, of course, don’t like the new me and excused themselves from life.

It didn’t take me long to realize I was better off without them.

Their absence in my life allows me to develop more supportive relationships with people who believe in me and support my ideals; and me being now no longer the subservient, but the chooser of circumstance. 

We are taught, as we grow up- through harsh consequences - that we don’t dare challenge the authority of the illusory potentates. Read the Bold Sheep Post, and then return here.

Even the most powerful king sooner or later discovers it doesn’t take much to reduce “important” to “impotent.” All of them  - “potentate,” “important,” “impotent,” and “potential,” “potent” have a base that means powerful.

We have this destructive myth in our culture that others are strong and powerful, and we are weak and need to be protected.

Real power resides in love rather than fear.  This is the power of our inner royal selves....whether we are male or female.....gay or straight.

We All Have the Potential to Be Powerful Kings and Queens

Choose your hero - whether it be a fantasy character, or real person - if that is not what you want elect a symbol of nature or man - made to represent your stance in life. A mentor or symbol is a wonderful shortcut to success.

We all have the potential inside ourselves to be of note,  and make a difference.  It takes an ongoing dream, learning valuable skills, perseverance, patience, and practice. Our opponents may not play fair.

 But, we will win in the end if we play the game according to our own rules.
 You must know in your heart and inner being that is OK to have, and you deserve to create your own game of life. Think about a winning strategy to stay one step ahead of  your opponent, adjust it as you need. Of course start some action on it now, and keep at it routinely.


We have to exercise our potential to experience our full power.  If we don’t, we will become expendable pawns.

 ****

Adversity forces us to become resourceful and to advocate for ourselves.  It forces us to discover our potential.  We all have it inside ourselves. 
With some action, we will get things where we want them to be.



 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -







Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

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Catching fish with strawberries?- attraction made easy.

Of course it is possible. I think Dale Carnegie, in his writings of 'How to Win Friends and Influence People,' used the story where he says he likes strawberry cake and cream, yet uses worms to catch fish.

Two messages here-

He is trying to get across that-1- you must use the desirable item/attractor to get the result you want.
The fish meaning christian provision.(food-goodness).


And-2- choose your attraction consciously.(being aware)

Now carp, and catfish will take strawberry enhanced bait- Do you want to catch them?

 Maybe other baits would work faster or better, for the result you want.

Sometimes the experience of those who have gone before us can be used to make our lives a little easier.

Beware of the hooks though.



pic courtesy of Public Domain Images