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| Believe in your abilities and value yourself to succeed. |
Step 2: Lovability is not a body thing
Society has long perpetuated the idea that appearances are crucial to relationships, and it will continue to do so while money is involved.
Each generation has promoted certain facial and body types as ideal.
The impression is that to be lovable, one must try to be as close as possible to that physical ideal.
It is promoted in nearly all public media, as the way to win friends and companions.
[Hint - advertisers pay the wages, expenses, and pleasures, of the media entities - so the more you think you need exactly this fashion of item to be acceptable; the more satiated they are.]
The very world around you exposes the “proper body” thing as trickery. Why does that ugly man have so many friends? Why does the larger woman have a very active love life? How come the skinny one with the long/short hair is among the first invited to any party or event? Obviously, appearances are not everything, to everybody.
The Secret:- In every case, one thing is that some people are comfortable “in their own skins”.
They are so comfortable with their physical appearance that they do not spend time trying to change it to be desirable. They do stay within the social norms of cleanliness, grooming etc. To focus on other things which are more important, is better; attention to being non-offensive is good. As is clothing yourself in styles and colours for your enjoyment.
Body type is not the final decider in the love stakes. Fat, thin, short, tall, dark, light, all have the natural ability to attract friends and companions.
The real key to friendship is an inner being. The attraction is a matter of who you are,- to yourself; not too much on how you look.
The immediate thing is to get comfortable in your own skin. Look at yourself and accept that this is who you are right now. Realize that there are people who will be perfectly satisfied with you as you are right now. It happens for others all the time. It can and will happen for you.
Also, know that for every body type, there are people who find it attractive. There are people who like physical types other than those promoted by society. Somewhere, there are people who would find you alluring.
***One thing about appearances may have to change, no matter what type you may be. People respond best to a clean, neat appearance. You go far in making a good impression when you wear clean clothes and maintain a clean, fresh appearance. Do not minimize this. Many otherwise acceptable people have been shunned because they ignore person hygiene. Very often, they are so self-absorbed that they do not realize it.***
Even if you are attempting to change your body through diet, weight gain or exercise, realize that your body is just right for today. You do not have to wait until your reach your goal to enjoy being comfortable in your body. Even as a body changes, it is still alright for its time and place.
I promise you, it will change - whether you are 13, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60- or anywhere in between, nature has plans for you, (and for your detractors if they exist as well.)
1:
Twice a day meditation: Really easy one this:- Image yourself in a positive light. Think of your body. See it bathed in brilliance. Appreciate every curve and contour, each limb and joint and angle. Draw up a loving feeling for you body. Take your time (say more than 5 minutes) with this meditation. Emerge from your meditation feeling good about yourself.
2:
Journal or diary exercise: (You can get nice ones from Amazon if you want.) On a piece of paper, make two columns - and write down what you do not like about yourself right now - think carefully, this is mostly what you think - not someone said to you.
Only five to six things at the very most just now.- no more - and why you don't like them.
Next, on the opposite side of this page, write what are some of the things you could do to change - using what you have now.
Now turn the page over, and write down five to ten things you like about yourself, and next to each thing write a few words as to why. Spend no more than thirty minutes on this project.
When you finish the list, put it away in a very private place, and forget about it until next week.
You are now on your way.
3:
Go back to yesterday’s exercise: Allow yourself half an hour for this revision.Take out this list.
Look over it and see which of the things you offer will match the things you seek in new friends.
Begin to consider which things are good enough, and which need improvement, and why.
Are there any qualities you need, or would like to develop? Write it all down, on this piece of paper or an attached sheet.
We will come back to this one tomorrow, as you see the progress as you improve and develop your strengths.
4:
Go to a different dating or singles website, than yesterday- a link is below of one - and observe without desire or criticism -how people focus on one side of the page of qualities or the other. Sign out - your journey continues.
(You don't need a dating site to find people - we are using them here as a safe observation tool to learn.)
Thought for the Day: I am comfortable in my body.
It is the perfect body for me today.
PS:-Note again how this also works for success in anything.
Part 3 tomorrow..
Recommend link to help you.
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