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| My life desires - a contemplation. |
One of the best signs of a healthy relationship, on a basic level is from Winnie the Pooh, by A.A. Milne.
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
This goes both ways - you must establish what will bring that thinking out in your partner, and consistently do that, to keep a good relationship. As it would be valid for you to teach them, how you might best like it.
In a perfectly healthy relationship, as it progresses, you do feel sure of your partner- without having to ask for their reassurance..(Trust).
There are some signs of unhealthy relationships, and we often ignore the 'red flags' in the rush of enthusiasm. Not everyone is perfect, of course, the level of imperfection you decide to accept - is your choice, and decision alone.
The worst sign of all types of unhealthy relationships is the
first one: secrets. If you can’t talk about what your partner says and
does to you, then it’s an unhealthy relationship.
Another big sign of an unhealthy relationship is if you feel unhappy, insecure, and unloved, a major amount of the time, when you’re with your partner.
If either of these is the case, you need to evaluate properly
Some relationships are better at a distance, or with different people - the key word to consider is partnership - with all of its qualities.
Read on......for the 10 most unhealthy signs......
1. You keep your partner’s actions and words a secret. If you can’t tell your family or friends about the things your partner says and does, then you may not be in a healthy loving relationship. If you lie to protect her or him, then it’s time to get out of that unhealthy relationship. You’re not just with the wrong girl or guy…you’re helping them being the wrong type of person.
2. Your partner wants you to change. If your partner doesn’t love you as you are, and says or verbalizes a requirement that you change - you must consider truthfully 1;- whether it would be better to change; or 2;- is this a one-sided method of control.
This is one of the most important signs of unhealthy relationships: a woman who doesn’t love or accept you as you are.Or a man. Your partner has fantasy's of some type, - do you want to be part of that fantasy? And is it worth it to keep up with it long-term?
3. Your partner doesn’t trust you. Constant phone calls, demands on your time, and jealous fits are NOT signs of love! If your partner doesn’t trust you or accuses you of lying, then you need to re-evaluate your actions. You may be doing something or acting in a way that makes them insecure - equally - it is very very common for many not nice people to accuse you of what they are in fact doing or planning.
If it is the first, find out how to make it easier for both of you, if it is the second -talk about it quietly.
If it does not change - leave- quietly, and with both of your safety in mind. If they open your mail (as an new or unusual practice) or show up at work unexpectedly, he or she doesn’t trust you. This is a sign of deep insecurity, which needs to addressed;- being best together with a rabbi, priest, or similar 'impartial' believable authority as soon as possible.
4. Your partner puts you down, in private or in front of others. If they call you names, ridicule your thoughts or opinions, or makes you feel like a fool, even in jest (joking) more than once or twice - then they're no good for you! You can address the first one or two times, by saying about how you feel when they.. and you would prefer this .... behaviour.
Should they minimize your request, or continue to do it, or even discuss it in the third person with you or others - leave - their internal psychology is too immature for the life you want.
5. You don’t feel like an equal partner in your relationship. Does
your 'partner' make all the decisions – or do you? An
unequal balance of power is a sign of an unhealthy relationship, and a
definitely either time to find out how to bring the relationship closer to a 50/50 contribution of thought or reality - or a sign it’s time to get out. Most importantly if you aren’t being treated equally,
6. You and your partner don’t have the same long or short-term goals. If you can’t agree on financial issues, family matters, or goals for your future, then you may want to think twice about your relationship. Nobody has the exact same plans for the future, but the happiest couples will have the same focus.
7. Your partner says they love you, but doesn’t act like they love you. Believe their nonverbal behavior (actions) over verbal behavior (talk,money, and things are cheap!). If she or he talks down to you, this needs to stop - it is verbal abuse, and leads to power and control issues a lot of people cannot manage.
8. You feel unhealthy, guilty, unhappy, depressed, or sad about your relationship. This tip is based on the quote of Piglet and Winnie the Pooh above. If you don’t feel secure, comfortable, and loved in your relationship, then you may be with the wrong person. If you truthfully putting in the effort to be the best you can, and honestly applying yourself to the partnership and you still have a perception of insecurity- it’s a sign you’re in an unhealthy relationship and you should think about leaving.
If your 'friend' or partner makes you feel unhealthy about yourself, they may have more unspoken challenges than you.You must create some distance -- be it emotionally or physically while you make yourself stronger.
If you’re in an unhealthy relationship, learn how to empower yourself, improve your relationship, and change your life for the better.read The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?: A Woman’s Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go by Patricia Evans.
9. Your family and friends aren’t supportive of your relationship. We shouldn't choose our partners based on our family and friends’ opinions, in fact, some families are the cause of all the problems - but we should evaluate their opinions. If your family or friends have strong reservations about your partner, ask for specific reasons. Find out the true basis of their feelings, and try to be objective, - do be aware they might be feeling insecure themselves.
10. You’re wondering about the warning signs of unhealthy relationships. The most important warning sign of love 'gone unhealthy' is your intuitive feeling! Why are you worrying about your relationship? The primary question to ask is would you want your sister, best friend, son or daughter to be in this relationship?
To find the strength and courage to either fix or leave an unhealthy relationship, you may need to talk to someone.
If these signs of unhealthy relationships are pointing you out the door, read Be Brave and How to End a Relationship - It was written it for all us who know their relationship is not helping us, but want to leave either safely, with some of our dignity intact, or with a future harmony in life.
Recommended resources to help you...choose a couple....
Winnie the Pooh - a fable well worth having and reading
Should I Stay or Should I Go? A Guide to Knowing if Your Relationship Can — and Should — Be Saved by Lundy Bancroft
'The Dangerous Woman' or 'Venus the dark side' -- Both Highly recommended reads
Or take an Assertiveness course. These will help you stand your ground without becoming aggressive or hostile.
If you feel physically intimidated by people, you might want to consider a self-defense course, or training books as well.
Plan your next escape ; - you choose where to - with Webjet.
*If your situation is unsafe/or may be unsafe - get local trusted registered professional advice from more than two unrelated identities.see important note.
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
This goes both ways - you must establish what will bring that thinking out in your partner, and consistently do that, to keep a good relationship. As it would be valid for you to teach them, how you might best like it.
In a perfectly healthy relationship, as it progresses, you do feel sure of your partner- without having to ask for their reassurance..(Trust).
There are some signs of unhealthy relationships, and we often ignore the 'red flags' in the rush of enthusiasm. Not everyone is perfect, of course, the level of imperfection you decide to accept - is your choice, and decision alone.
10 Signs of Unhealthy Relationships
Another big sign of an unhealthy relationship is if you feel unhappy, insecure, and unloved, a major amount of the time, when you’re with your partner.
If either of these is the case, you need to evaluate properly
- a- the rewards of persisting;
- b- the how to- of changing you or them;
- c- your sanity and or safety;
Some relationships are better at a distance, or with different people - the key word to consider is partnership - with all of its qualities.
Read on......for the 10 most unhealthy signs......
1. You keep your partner’s actions and words a secret. If you can’t tell your family or friends about the things your partner says and does, then you may not be in a healthy loving relationship. If you lie to protect her or him, then it’s time to get out of that unhealthy relationship. You’re not just with the wrong girl or guy…you’re helping them being the wrong type of person.
2. Your partner wants you to change. If your partner doesn’t love you as you are, and says or verbalizes a requirement that you change - you must consider truthfully 1;- whether it would be better to change; or 2;- is this a one-sided method of control.
This is one of the most important signs of unhealthy relationships: a woman who doesn’t love or accept you as you are.Or a man. Your partner has fantasy's of some type, - do you want to be part of that fantasy? And is it worth it to keep up with it long-term?
3. Your partner doesn’t trust you. Constant phone calls, demands on your time, and jealous fits are NOT signs of love! If your partner doesn’t trust you or accuses you of lying, then you need to re-evaluate your actions. You may be doing something or acting in a way that makes them insecure - equally - it is very very common for many not nice people to accuse you of what they are in fact doing or planning.
If it is the first, find out how to make it easier for both of you, if it is the second -talk about it quietly.
If it does not change - leave- quietly, and with both of your safety in mind. If they open your mail (as an new or unusual practice) or show up at work unexpectedly, he or she doesn’t trust you. This is a sign of deep insecurity, which needs to addressed;- being best together with a rabbi, priest, or similar 'impartial' believable authority as soon as possible.
4. Your partner puts you down, in private or in front of others. If they call you names, ridicule your thoughts or opinions, or makes you feel like a fool, even in jest (joking) more than once or twice - then they're no good for you! You can address the first one or two times, by saying about how you feel when they.. and you would prefer this .... behaviour.
Should they minimize your request, or continue to do it, or even discuss it in the third person with you or others - leave - their internal psychology is too immature for the life you want.
6. You and your partner don’t have the same long or short-term goals. If you can’t agree on financial issues, family matters, or goals for your future, then you may want to think twice about your relationship. Nobody has the exact same plans for the future, but the happiest couples will have the same focus.
7. Your partner says they love you, but doesn’t act like they love you. Believe their nonverbal behavior (actions) over verbal behavior (talk,money, and things are cheap!). If she or he talks down to you, this needs to stop - it is verbal abuse, and leads to power and control issues a lot of people cannot manage.
8. You feel unhealthy, guilty, unhappy, depressed, or sad about your relationship. This tip is based on the quote of Piglet and Winnie the Pooh above. If you don’t feel secure, comfortable, and loved in your relationship, then you may be with the wrong person. If you truthfully putting in the effort to be the best you can, and honestly applying yourself to the partnership and you still have a perception of insecurity- it’s a sign you’re in an unhealthy relationship and you should think about leaving.
If your 'friend' or partner makes you feel unhealthy about yourself, they may have more unspoken challenges than you.You must create some distance -- be it emotionally or physically while you make yourself stronger.
If you’re in an unhealthy relationship, learn how to empower yourself, improve your relationship, and change your life for the better.read The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?: A Woman’s Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go by Patricia Evans.
9. Your family and friends aren’t supportive of your relationship. We shouldn't choose our partners based on our family and friends’ opinions, in fact, some families are the cause of all the problems - but we should evaluate their opinions. If your family or friends have strong reservations about your partner, ask for specific reasons. Find out the true basis of their feelings, and try to be objective, - do be aware they might be feeling insecure themselves.
10. You’re wondering about the warning signs of unhealthy relationships. The most important warning sign of love 'gone unhealthy' is your intuitive feeling! Why are you worrying about your relationship? The primary question to ask is would you want your sister, best friend, son or daughter to be in this relationship?
To find the strength and courage to either fix or leave an unhealthy relationship, you may need to talk to someone.
If these signs of unhealthy relationships are pointing you out the door, read Be Brave and How to End a Relationship - It was written it for all us who know their relationship is not helping us, but want to leave either safely, with some of our dignity intact, or with a future harmony in life.
The best way to predict if your relationship will last is
to ask yourself if you’re willing to keep living with these signs of
unhealthy relationships. What do you want from your life, relationship, what level can your
partner meet? You are allowed to claim your own life. Don’t end up being be a passive observer in it!
Thought for the Day: Because I set a standard, I attract those who are good for me. I am
strong. I have the courage to say NO to those who are wrong, and the
goodwill to say YES to those who are right for me.
Recommended resources to help you...choose a couple....
Winnie the Pooh - a fable well worth having and reading
Should I Stay or Should I Go? A Guide to Knowing if Your Relationship Can — and Should — Be Saved by Lundy Bancroft
'The Dangerous Woman' or 'Venus the dark side' -- Both Highly recommended reads
Or take an Assertiveness course. These will help you stand your ground without becoming aggressive or hostile.
If you feel physically intimidated by people, you might want to consider a self-defense course, or training books as well.
Plan your next escape ; - you choose where to - with Webjet.
*If your situation is unsafe/or may be unsafe - get local trusted registered professional advice from more than two unrelated identities.see important note.
pic courtesy public domain
