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11 Signs Someone in your life-space is Toxic to You.

Some people will complicate your life. Either by their own habits, or mostly to fill their own lives with some value.

These people are not helpful in your quest for a good, if not better life.

Time slips away as they draw you in to their world, and you deal with their issues, and as you take a step back, you wonder why you feel so drained.

This is the definition of a toxic person, one to avoid, or protect yourself against. If these actions are repetitive, or damaging to you - that is the true indicator.

Figuring out What a Toxic person is by their actions/in-actions.

1-They drain you. – You feel psychologically and emotionally depleted after spending time with them, instead of uplifted.

2-They are not supportive. – You choose not to tell them about new, important aspects of your life because they’ve been un-supportive or demeaning about your ideas in the past.

3-They are up to no good. – They regularly partake in activities that are against human norms.

4-Their values and interests are opposite to your own. – Dissimilar value systems doesn’t necessarily mean the other person is wrong, it just means they aren’t right for you, at this moment in time.

5-They are often unreliable. – They break their promises sometimes, or does it feel like they lie to maintain control. If they are consistent in their untruths - choose to limit your exposure to that part of their life.

6-They aren’t meeting you a little way. – If you are always the one calling your friend to make plans and going out of your way to be with them, do bring up a solution, if that doesn't work after a few times - find out why.

7-They are jealous of you or others. – Jealousy is: "I want what you have and I will take it away from you."

8-They have zero ambition. – Beware; a lack of ambition can be contagious. They probably need to be given a lot of security - can you afford this??

9-They constantly drive you to moments of insanity. – Another power and control technique - especially used by domestic abusers - women mostly, they are trying to be seen as the perfect one - and set you up for a fall.

10-They talk about others - or other groups in a black and white demeaning way. A lot of groups are not good, and avoidable e.g. politicians, some government agencies - yet to talk about the others, without concrete actions indicates a manipulative personality.

11-They threaten you or your valued things, achievements - Something similar to the jealousy or envy- they are unable or unwilling to do things for themselves, so they will reduce what is yours to make themselves appear valuable to the world. These ones particularly are unsaveable - dispose of them by whatever means possible - within the law.

How to End a Toxic Relationship or Friendship

If you still want to or have to allow this person in your life, just to a lesser degree:

Stop responding to fake crisis calls. – Don’t drop everything and offer to help all the time. Suggest they can deal with it, and move on with your own day.

Take positive control of negative conversations. – It’s okay to change the direction of the conversation to something better in their world.

Demonstrate that you won’t be insulted or belittled. – Say something like, "I know how it must be for you....I have to go now."

Be reasonably honest. – That means with reason (play nice), not partly as in half truth. Some people really don’t consciously recognize their own tendencies or their inconsiderate behavior. They can be shown what verbalizations or actions do get them good results for them. Your fair and tactful honesty may ensure that any future is built on mutually beneficial ground.

If you just want to completely end your relationship with the person in question;

Stop taking their calls completely. – If you’re stuck seeing them on a regular basis, like a coworker, keep things on a 100% professional level alone. Find a reason to leave and excuse yourself as needed.

Firmly tell them you’ve had enough. – If you’ve decided it’s time to cut a truly toxic influence out of your life, you can let them know honestly (without being cruel). “I just can’t be friends with you right now” isn’t fun to hear, but it has the benefit of putting everybody on the same page.

Make new friends worth having. –Give your time to friends you connect with and enjoy. The long shadows of toxic friends shrink considerably when you’ve got better things to do with your time than worry about their negativity.

If they are a real pain - go and read the toxic people post, then come back here.

Finally, Be a Good Friend

It is a good start to cut toxic people out of your life, yet you can easily get quality friendships if you want them. Not all of the 17 billion people in the world are bad, there are a few good ones out there.

Part of the responsibility is with you to maintain and direct the partnership in the way that makes both of your lives better. And for you to begin to take control of your own life direction.

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