Will I find the right person for me? Discovering if or if - not, and why.

Finding the right one for me

How will I know when I meet the right person? - or  - Is this really the right person for me?''


I often hear these questions, and have asked them at times too.



There are different reasons why people get together.....

• To seek/receive or give love, validation, security and safety
• To share love and to grow emotionally and spiritually
• To satisfy physical (includes safety as well as sexual) needs
• To leave a current situation for a better, or hopeful situation.

In a perfect world for the normal among us - the sharing, or mutual growth is the ideal.


If you feel insecure and alone, you are likely to look for someone who will fill that little bit of inner emptiness, and give you the love you are seeking; so you feel adequate and worthy.

The problem is that no one can do this for you forever; - it is something you really only can do for yourself.

  Instead of asking the question, "Is this the right person for me?" why not ask, "Am I being the right person?" Am I being a person who comes to a relationship filled with love to share, or am I being a needy person hoping to get love and validation? Or is the other person too needy for me right now?

Relationships don't work sometimes because each person is disappointed in not getting what they expected to get from the other person. (The long-term dream).



Here are few essential ingredients to look for, to see if the person is to be the right person for you:

• There needs to be a basic spark of attraction. Mentally and physically; you can learn this easily if you choose to.

• Each of you needs to be capable of caring, compassion, empathy and acceptance for who each of you are. An ease of acceptance, with a tolerance of the individuality present.

• Both of you need to be open to learning in conflict, rather than just wanting to win and be right.

• Both are best to want to learn or to have similar views on your future lives.

Other ingredients, such as common interests and values, acceptance of beliefs, etc, are also important, but the above three ingredients, will help to sustain the relationship.
 

To know if this is the right person for you, be aware if your intent in being in a relationship is to learn together and share. A person who comes from a growing or full place within, notices others, and may be attracted to a similar level person.


N.B. Conflict of some sort can occur in all relationships, and if both people are not open to learning about themselves and each other within it, the unresolved conflicts will eventually cause the end of a relationship. Since not many of us enter relationships fully healed, it is important to know that your partner is willing to work through things, rather than just protect against it with controlling behavior.
Mutuality is a good plan, as the unilateral desire to control things and manipulate them to satisfy our ideal outcome doesn't come from love. It comes from the fear of letting go, the fear that things aren’t going to turn out the way you want them to. Fear and control do not seem to make happy partners.


Develop a contentment within yourself - the positive results will surprise you. 



Some recommended links to start you on your better life..... 

  Buy Roy Sheppards book - "..Be The One", and read it, and start to work at it

Live Tarot readers - to find a new direction - for you today.


Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition 






Every Relationship starts with a date - search for free now.


Recommended link

Find people you know, a search by Spokeo

pic courtesy of pdp.net Sabine Sauermaul

Money can and does buy happiness and contentment - no matter what your leader tells you

A meeting of successful minds

It, as well as an artificial - or real depending on your circumstances - pressure, is a resource used as a token of exchange in a hierarchical society.

In Roman times we had Caesar and his associates, then the progression of kings, queens, lords with their hangers on, and today much the same.

With an elevation of status (above you - it seems) of royalty and their ministers, priestesses, priests and gurus of types - the magic system continues.

So the reality of the system is that money is important; - and as a means of exchange. By not having access to an amount (note the ability to extract a tithe or tax by the above mentioned), you are placed as a heretic, an outcast in society.

The power for you is in the marshaling of the resources - whether others use it for good or bad, it is up to you to use it as you see good.

There will always be froth at the top of the good, there will always be the the worst of society employed by large organizations - the inadequate persons of life both gravitate to - and are taught to belong there.

It is important for you, to put aside both that thought, and somehow that the use of, or your control of this resource stream is not for you - it must be, for you to survive, and do well. You alone know what is best for you.

Expectations are why one person can be poor but still proud, independent, and reasonably content while the guy or gal next door is merely content to slide into a swamp of misery, blame, and dependence.

The power for you is in the marshaling of the resources - whether others use it for good or bad, it is up to you to use it as you see good.

If we feel we can make important decisions about our lives and carry them out, we're more likely to be happy in ourselves.

Even people who've been rendered poor by disasters, theft, financial mistakes, or abuse are better off when they can think, "Well, maybe I put myself here and maybe I didn't. But in any case, I can now choose how to respond to the situation I'm in." We always have that choice given time. We can use our appreciation of the situation to act in our best benefit.
To dramatize the negative is a deceit used in the bag of power tricks – by making someone powerless, the rescuer/persecutor in fact now is rewarded - money or ego.

If a "poor" person who has chosen material poverty for religious reasons, to pursue adventure, to live a simple life, or to avoid paying high taxes may actually feel they have more and better choices because of their lack of .
Conversely, a well-off person who yielded to a pressure to become a lawyer, or marry the "right" spouse, or pay a big mortgage in a country-club neighborhood may feel eventually trapped.

Expectations – generally our own -for ourselves, either to fit in or be accepted - ultimately dictate our happiness or contentment in our life.


The genetic theory of happiness, is a very minor factor; as an example – if you were to walk a path through a small unformed grass track daily – it will change to be formed. And the natural way.
So you can teach yourself to react/respond in the way best for you by beginning and continuing until it becomes natural for you.
It is like saying women are better than men, or blacks better than whites.
The physical attributes are in fact different - the power is in the using. The thinking (success) patterns can be formed.


Think of a happiness set point as being like a thermostat. If your happiness is "set" to the equivalent of 16 (60 F) degrees, then you may sometimes be "warmer" and sometimes "cooler," but you'll always return to that setting.
If your set point is 22 (72 F), then you'll still have ups and downs, but you'll always return to a "warmer" state of happiness.

But we also have the ability to change the settings on our personal "thermostats." If you were born with a low set point, you can choose to be able to raise it.


So -your thinking what does happiness and contentment have to do with money? Well as before - put aside that the sky is falling in - the country/people/world you live in is not at your expectation level.


It is a good and noble pursuit for you to be passionate about - only those you wish to control you for their own reasons of fear, or power secondly;- will try to teach you to believe otherwise.


Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.


  
Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.








Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -







Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

The Tarot helps - use it; - used as it is meant to be, it is another tool in your magic chest for getting what you want in life. It does make it easier for you.



Live Tarot readers for you today.



pic courtesy public domain

Thinking right - appreciating and living with yourself

The value and power of action to inspire

We all have certain habits and ways of thinking about the world that are the right ways, at least for me.

• When I make a friend, I do everything to keep the friendship going and to be a friend to them.
• If I get a book, I always read and try to understand the contents. 
• If I start something, I always make sure that I finish it, as best I can.  
• I like to exercise, and if I buy some exercise equipment, I read the manual and I use the equipment as recommended.
• If I buy a vehicle, I take care of it, and make sure it is always in the best condition possible; I do all I can to maintain it properly.
• If I buy some clothes, I read the label, and care for them.
• And so on....

We need to really appreciate what we have today, whether it is an asset or ourselves (and one would hope we consider ourselves an asset).

One of the most important things in life you can do is to proceed towards your dreams.
Your dream could be something material like owning an car, home, or boat, - or it could be spending your time (or life) with a certain type of person.

What happens, however, when someone achieves his or her dream? Regardless of how your life is going, for sure there are many dreams you have already accomplished. But, once you achieve your goals, what then?

Many of us have had the experience of starting on the road to fulfilling our dreams - somewhere that we think is going to make us happy, and then when we get there, what now???.

Not being happy, because our lives may not have really changed in a way we'd hoped for, after achieving that one dream.

The secret here;- is that it was part of the dream, that you achieved - there is more -relax and move on with it.

An often result seen, is of taking someone, be it ourselves or another for granted- is less care and attention given:- much like an apparently discarded car.


Enjoy what you have now, as this appreciation or gratitude will attract more to your life.

Value your dreams, goals, and aspirations both while you are on the journey, and as you achieve them.

If you dream of doing something, keep moving, keep moving.-never stop short of the finish line - while maintaining the thought in your mind that 'I am OK.'




 Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.



 Become the best you can be with Mindmint





 

Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.







Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -








Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-  



photo courtesy of public domain

I feel like being i am dragged away - what control do I really have?

Do you too feel at times subject to external forces?

As conquerors throughout history, have used force and subterfuge to get what they want, for themselves or their kings or queens.
We too are often used for another's purpose.
The control and influence would be better to come from within us, for ourselves.
Recognizing that is the start of a new way of life.
Sometimes we think we are alone in our problem/s, but to look beyond our present circle, and gently act to change that, we can experience the change we desire,
Many a slave,has contentedly remained a slave- be it to a fashion, owner, or thought.
Yet many slaves will create their own world, and leave the imaginary chains of slavery.

A true story.

As she was taken to jail, she walked numbly questioning what would happen now?
Showered, cleaned, inspected and re-clothed in the uniform clothing of the prison, she sat dejectedly on the edge of her bed. Alone in her small cell, she began to shiver with the fear of it all.
As night fell, she slept-then didn't, with snippets of dream scenes layering themselves in a confusing garden of thought.

Hesitantly awakening with the noise and light of the morning, she slipped as she got out of bed, landing heavily on the heated floor.
Picking herself up- she asked what now? 

The door was opened by some unseen and remote authority- and the call for breakfast food was sounded.
Making her way down the stairs to the group dining room, she was assaulted by the stale smells that seemed to come from every corner.After what was only a minute or two- or was it hours- she arrived at the counter got her food then made her way to her numbered seat, and carefully sat down.

The food reminded her of films of concentration camps- tiny amounts of distasteful almost cardboard-like lumps.
Why am I here? she asked herself silently; what did I do to deserve this? As the others scoffed their platefuls quickly.
Eating slowly- knowing that this was all there was-(or was it?)- she finished and prepared for the day.

The controller's bell sounded to leave the table-and to take their trays and dishes to be washed. As she stood by the trough with tears in her eyes, washing hers and others dishes, an older woman eased beside her, and said-"nice day love, isn't it"
The younger woman- mumbled " not really. How ever could it be?"

The older lady replied-" you know, I woke up this morning and praise me - I was still alive, and then this wonderful buffet of food they put on here, and all I had to do was a few dishes with my friends. What more could I ask for? And later on, I'm going to sit outside in the fresh air with my thoughts, and my friends if I ask them to come. Then you know- the best thing of all. I get to sleep again tonight in my own private room"

The younger women said "sounds like we are in different places. I'd like to be were you are"
The old lady took her gently to one side with her arm around her, and said-" you are dear. We are both in the same place- looking at it in a different way".............



In fact life may not be what you , or where you want  - You must view it be of your benefit to be that.




photo courtesy of wikipedia commons by Charles-Évariste-Vital Luminais

Leading myself into situations - How did I get into this one?

And how did I end up here?

You know our thoughts, our hopes of how it is to be, or how it will be, and especially our desire to be accepted - whether it be from our group or authority can shape our activities and results totally.

It seems there isn't an answer to get what we want, rather than what we do get.

What goes into the mind with an emotion - and with acceptance is what will be internalized 
(this is who or how I am)- to become yourself.

Generally you must meet all of these criteria to have a long lasting effect.

Examples (for good and bad):-

• Sitting with a close friend watching the same type of film over a period of weeks.

• Singing in a church you love with a group.

• Reading and sharing a series or style of books-then beginning to dress or act like the characters.

When bad stuff happens, accept the fact that it happened- not that it is you.


An old re-shareable story.

A hunter goes into the bush. He finds an old human skull. The hunter says: “What brought you here?” The skull answers: “Talking brought me here.” The hunter runs off to the king. He tells the king: “I found a dry human skull in the bush. It asks you how its father and mother are.” 

The king says: “Never since my mother bore me have I heard that a dead skull can speak.” The king summons his advisers and authorities - and asks them if they have ever heard anything like this. None of his wise men has heard the like, and they decide to send guards out with the hunter into the bush to find out if his story is true and, if so, to learn the reason for it. The guards accompany the hunter into the bush with the order to kill him on the spot should he have lied.

The guards and the hunter come to the skull. The hunter addresses the skull: “Skull, speak.” The skull is silent. The hunter asks as before: “What brought you here?” The skull does not answer. The whole day long the hunter begs the skull to speak, but it does not answer. In the evening the guards tell the hunter to make the skull speak, and when he cannot, the guards kill the hunter in accordance with the king’s command. 

When the guards are gone, the skull opens its jaws and asks the dead hunter’s head: “What brought you here?” The dead hunter’s head replies: “Talking brought me here!” 

The Talking Skull - a translated Nigerian folk tale

 *********

Note the finding of a new discovery, consider why did the hunter want to share it with the authority?, the controlling power of the authority, the persistence of the hunter in a way that did not work for him at that time. The finality of it all- his technique of bringing the King and his subservients to the discovery, rather than creating a curiosity so that they would find it themselves. The giving up of power to those who want to maintain the status quo. The hunters belief system, and his actions  that brought him his results.



So, how do you change it to get what you want?

Change within to change without - use your emotions to re-define your world.

If it is really difficult - leave for a time:- meditate (or sit quietly listening to the good of nature) - go to a library, and read some harmless humor-find an empty mosque, temple, or church- even and especially if you offer to sweep the floor to be there regularly; - or change where or how you might live. 


Recommended links to help you.....

• Patricia Evan's books:- Recognizing and dealing with verbal abuse. (read them all!)

• George Simon's books:- Dealing with manipulative people. (buy and read them all!)

'The Dangerous Woman'  or  'Venus the dark side'  -- Both Highly recommended reads


Live Tarot readers - to find a new direction - for you today.


Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition 




Morgana Rae & Charmed Life Coaching, Inc.
 Make money by putting LOVE first and Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Become Self Assertive, and more a Confident you, from today with -

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

pic courtesy of www.publicdomainpictures.net

What do I do now? I'm lost.

Choosing life's new direction is important. Especially to you. It is always best long term to choose your own direction, rather than allow things or someone to choose it for you.

For survivals sake, we must sometimes do what we can at the time- to eat, and live. As we might struggle through this time, it can be easy to fall into the trap of giving all our energy to the problems, then relaxing with a substance or group that keeps us contained.

In our society we may be the wrong color, religion, race, or be tarred with a brush some else has held.

 Remember they held it-not you;- you may have just stood still long enough to be painted.

Move a little past this and begin to think how can add your own lifes desires to the day.


Suspend your reality for a while, and....

To discover your life’s mission, ask yourself:

 

 

What has always come naturally to me? What am I naturally good at? What would I like to   become good at? Why?

What do I really think is important in life (values)?Why?


 If I were absolutely free of any must-be and have-tos, and had to choose a single thing to do or create, which one would I choose the most?

What feeling makes me feel good about myself?

What were the most pleasurable moments in my life? What makes me smile? (What will make others smile = cash)

What activity makes me feel so good that I could do it all day long? 

What would other people pay for? 
 
What helps me overcome challenges and hardships?
(Develops a support 'system') 

What helpful and positive message would I like to send to the World?

What would matter the most at the end of my life to me?

What can I use right now to begin? 

Think of ways to begin with little money first off-as returns must exceed investments for survival. 

What is first step I can take towards the path of success I have created?

Remember - lost is being unsure where you are in that moment, an unsettling feeling of being not connected with a reality you want or desire.

You have the ability to change the way you see the world, and step by step change it for you. 

photo courtesy of www.PDPics.com

Persistant thought and view of the world

Are things always the same? It really depends on your lense or how you can see the world-read this little story about a mermaid written by Ed. 

  

Beth the Mermaid

By Edwin Tomes / merknight7777@yahoo.com

This story was written for a friend.

The old man sat on the beach looking out over Californian the beach. He was wearing a colorful Hawaiian shirt with tan cargo short. His face kindly looking like some one’s grandfather. The sun was halfway across the sky he notice when he look up judging time of day. She would be coming now he knew. It was the reason why he was here.
Among the crowd of people a striking woman moved among them. She stood out among the many beautiful people walking along the crowded sidewalk. Her silky brown hair reached to just the tops of her very short cut off jean shorts she..........--read the rest here=
http://www.edsmermaidpage.com/beth_the_mermaid.htm

Note carefully how the words persist even for others -According to the Internet Archive this page was loaded in  August 2, 2002

pic courtesy of  www.clipartlord.com

Enjoy the silver spoon

The sun rises on our success

To use a symbol as a talisman.

The story follows-

Early spoons were made of wood, the word 'spoon,' in fact, said to arise from the Anglo-Saxon spon, 'a chip of wood.'

Many people used pewter spoons, but traditionally, especially among the wealthy, godparents have given the gift of a silver spoon to their godchildren at christening ceremonies.

Note the symbols of;-wealth, protection and the beginning of life in the big world.

 The custom is centuries old throughout Europe- noted authors mention it as far back as the 1600's.

 Often denigrated as only affordable only by rich persons,-with a negative journalistic inference, it's more likely that the spoon has come to symbolize wealth.

Choose it for yourself- the bringing of a object; be it a silver spoon, the sun, or a unique mark to your conscious thought will remind you of your path.
Many people use other's symbols-it is better for you to have one of your own as well.

Keep it private-if you are asked-"it is a lucky charm"



Exercise:You can buy or make a talisman or charm, either to carry or to place somewhere important. Get one posted from Amazon, or go to the local dollar store. It does-not have to be expensive - it is a talisman or symbol - a selected or chosen object to remind you of your good and helpful thoughts. Re-read the silver spoon post here.
If you can, make something, or a 2 or 3 of them, the process, meditation, and thinking while making will work wonders.
Put the charm were you see it each morning and night - if not carried with you if small.

If a situation turns to an unwanted one - revise, and bring out the talisman again.



Recommended links to help you now.



Grow yourself online in the privacy of your own home


Live Tarot readers for you.


Desktop Tarot, books, cards and more - for you




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Truth by assessment.

The truth as seen in reality

I had long before remarked that, in relation to practice, it is sometimes necessary to adopt, as if above doubt, opinions which we discern to be highly uncertain, as has been already said; but as I then desired to give my attention solely to the search after truth, I thought that a procedure exactly the opposite was called for, and that I ought to reject as absolutely false all opinions in regard to which I could suppose the least ground for doubt, in order to ascertain whether after that there remained aught in my belief that was wholly indubitable.

 Adapted from  the great philosopher Rene Descartes.

 Discours de la méthode pour bien conduire sa raison, et chercher la vérité dans les sciences, part iv.from The Project Gutenburg.



Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition  


   




.pic courtesy of Public Domain Images