Rules of the game that make us, - our Success, our Luck, and my and your lives.

Playing - will I win?

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else. Albert Einstein  

The Rules that Govern Our Lives 

 

We learn, or try to learn, to live in a world that others have created over the course of known history. We are schooled either formally in an institution, or by our observations to the created world around us.
As children often reply, when asked why do they go to school by their parents - "because you, and the government make me go"

People do live life partly on their terms, - some more than others, - and partly following the plans set by other people and society.


Laws, plans, and rules are created by  -


1; - governments and institutions, and
2; - a set of rules we think we have made for ourselves; that are reflected in our values, beliefs, and in our personal standards.

Some good and helpful, some not so much.


These rules have been conditioned into our mind over the course of a lifetime by others, and by society in general.

However, we have also played our part in this conditioning process. We have been willing, or unwilling actors - and have accepted things to be that particular way.

Most of us have good intentions and honorable hopes, with dreams and goals for the future,  -  however the 'rules' which we live our lives unfortunately don’t allow us to realize our desired destination.

It is now time for a change.


Your Childhood Innocence

Think back for a moment to your childhood, with the youthful innocence and enthusiasm that you brought into every activity.
Back then you treated everything as a game. Everything you did was fun and exciting - until someone told you to "grow up".

You were told that life isn’t a game and that you need to take things more seriously. You get told that your actions could have negative consequences; that you need to protect yourself from pain; that you must hold on tight to the things you have, and that you must follow the universally accepted rules that everybody else has grown up with.


The Unfair parts of Life.

•      Life is not always filled with perfection.
•     There are people you must, and you should have avoided.
•     There are organizations you should not trust, or have trusted.
•     You will experience different setbacks and problems.
•     You may experience a mistake or two.
•     You will go through different emotions.
•     You will sometimes fail at your choices.
•     You will experience criticism and rejection.
•     You might occasionally embarrass yourself.
•     You will win, but you will find more ways of learning how to win.

Just assume that things could go wrong, and have a plan or two in place to deal with that. And of course continue on with the adaptable plans for your desired future.




One method that leads to acceptance of the 'unfair,' is the act of disassociating yourself emotionally from the experiences.
In fact the standard prose of a manipulative person, is to question if you felt a certain way. Therefore to improve your success you must be aware of this.

In reality there are no absolutely good or bad situations, - it only feels like that at the time - there are interpretations that we as people make.
What one person might interpret as an unfortunate event, another person will interpret that exact same event in a more favorable way.
And because they see it in a favorable way, they can now make more of the situation, instead of playing the victim card. Leave that victim card for others, it is a manipulation technique, that will not help you long term.

Taking the possibility approach will do wonders for your self-confidence. 

You take charge of you and now are on the way to living life at a higher level.

 

10 Good Rules for Playing the Game of Life

Rule 1: Clear Goals

Setting clear goals gives you a definite direction in life and helps you live with a sense of purpose. It redirects all your efforts towards clear aims.Something like the idea, that while you are on the sports field or the court is to get the ball where you want it to go.



Rule 2: Sense of Humor

Humor is a great tool against the adversity that life may drop in front of you. Humor will allow you to move through or around these difficulties without falling into the "victim mentality" trap. Again playing the victim card will not help you win at the game of life - it is in fact a way for you to controlled - be it by an abuser or a 'helping' organization. You must instead use some humor to keep your spirits high while you move forward.


Rule 3: New Skills

Start today, and keep at going daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.  It can be either tangible, or hands on skills, or equally as important - thinking and people skills. You can learn from both good and bad, even how not to do it - will save you some time and make it easier for you.
The perpetual life student attitude and practice will bring you fast results.


Rule 4: Calculated Risks

To venture outside your comfort zone. even a little for a start, will change your chances of winning in the game of life. Taking calculated risks and stepping beyond the confines of your normality helps expand opportunities, (luck)- provides a super platform for growth and new insights, helps you solve problems, and also goes a long way towards helping you make better decisions as you make progress through this game of life.

All your problems are solvable, however you will rarely solve them while within the confines of your normal or previous comfort zone. You must stretch beyond that, as this is where opportunity lies for new understandings and perceptions to help you find solutions.


Rule 5: Cherish Friendships

It is better to have a network of people behind you, rather than fighting or hindering you. Sooner or later you will need the support of others to help you win this game. Therefore start by cultivating your friendships today, and care for the good ones as if you wish them to last forever.


Rule 6: Accept the odd Mistake

Life involves the process of learning and growth.You might make the occasional mistake or two. Learn from your mistakes - once or twice is enough - if you are repeating the same mistakes time and again, change something - now!

Learning from a small mistake made today will indeed save you from making a bigger mistake tomorrow.
Or, perchance, learning from a big mistake today does help you gain the clarity you need to move forward in a better way.


Rule 7: Generate Plenty of Ideas and New Experiences

In order to succeed in the game of life you need to be constantly opening yourself up to a world of new experiences. They can come in the form of ideas, people, places and knowledge.

And as you begin to think differently about your life and circumstances you gather unique ideas that you can use to help move your life forward in a better way. New experiences also bring with them new opportunities to help you win in the game of life. That word luck again.

To focus on one overall idea is good, yet to get ahead, different approaches to that idea, or different ideas do open up new and maybe better paths.


Sometime ideas don't turn out 100% as expected. Great, now you can adapt. Experience and responses of others and yourself to these helps you define your direction.


Rule 8: Be a little Kind to Others

It’s said that "those who show kindness will eventually be taken advantage of." And you would be right. There will be people who will certainly take advantage of your kindness, however that’s part of the game of life. Ensure they pay you well in compensation, for that.

Kindness is not letting them take any advantage of you, or you having lesser standards for yourself; it is accepting people where they are at now.

When you are kind to others it often activates the power of reciprocity, and so it should.
Mostly you feel more confident, in control, and fulfilled that you have made a positive difference in someone else’s life.
This confidence empowers your daily decisions and actions to help move your life forward in a better way.


Rule 9: Aim for some Balance

An ideal successful life is a balanced life. A life that promotes good health and provides long-term  stability. And the way to achieve it all, is to strive for a balance.


Rule 10: Work Smarter AND Harder

The final rule for winning in the game of life is to work both smarter AND harder. This naturally improves your luck and allows you opportunities that you otherwise would not have had.

Either one on their own, will give rewards, yet to get stable long-term success, both are needed.

 

One good life philosophy to have is this - from -Will Smith the famous actor, has said-

    "The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be out-worked, period. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me, you might be all of those things — you got it on me in nine categories. But if we get on the treadmill together, there’s two things: You’re getting off first, or I’m going to die. It’s really that simple, right? You’re not going to out-work me. It’s such a simple, basic concept. The guy who is willing to hustle the most is going to be the guy that just gets that loose ball."

Changing your Luck and Succeeding in the Game of Life

Do acknowledge that the results you get from life are a direct reflection of your habitual thoughts, words and actions.

• Choose your own path and not the path laid out for you by others.
• Dedicate yourself to something worthwhile.
• Aim for daily growth and learn from experiences, from other people, and from mistakes.
• Taking advantage of opportunities to move your life forward in a better way.
• Take responsibility for your life, choices, decisions and actions without complaining, blaming or making excuses. (This empowers others- not you).
• Cultivate curiosity each and everyday.
• Ask yourself solution orientated questions about your life, problems and circumstances.
• Stay flexible in thought and open minded to other perspectives, ideas and opinions.
• Define your true core values, and boundaries.
• Keep true to your highest core values.
• Consider necessary short-term changes for long-term gains.
• Decisions, and responsibility is OK.
• Consistently raise your personal standards. 
• Evaluate and change unhelpful thoughts, beliefs, habits and fears that are holding you back.
• Leave procrastination and instant gratification for others.

****

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Successes of the Tarot in finding my new life path, and a new relationship partner.

 Fairy princess spells, and a new life.

Tarot Spells - Fact Or Fiction ?  Spells, meditation, affirmations, and expectation.

Does the reading of the Tarot help in any way to predict your success in life or romance?

Well surprisingly it does have a positive effect. Should you read upon it, then dismiss it, probably not much.

Yet to clear the mind of the daily pressures with a desire to find an answer, a good reading will bring you to considering a changed pathway.

As you have the symbols brought to you; if they are re-associated or linked with a past known event or impression - then your mind and consideration is brought to a future expectation. One would hope you will put the effort in to progressively adapt yourself, to bring that expectation to some sort of reality.
Thus the secrets are revealed. Read the paragraph above again, and take notes to establish the simple methods of success.

Meditative commands or interceptions, work because of the way you have been taught as a child in school - similar methods of a perceived authority figure, quietness,(isolation from distractions), exposure, linking, absorption, then reconsideration.

Another word form the same process is a spell. They are extremely powerful because of the above, should you consider their frame. They are one easy way of helping you on the way to a life you desire.

Sometimes, even if you do not see or show what you really feel, the universe always knows and it only presents you what it knows is best for you. If you view life like this, you will be able to handle any event or 'issue.'


  Can you get your ex back with the Tarot? On one hand it is possible to get an ex back with the help of a love spell, however, there are certain catches to it.

• The first possibility is for you to get exactly what you want; this is the most ideal possibility that any person can dream of.

• The second possibility is for you to not get what you want because this is not exactly what has to happen for you.

• And thirdly, there is also a chance that a completely different person will come into your life.

This is actually a good thing most of the time because the universe has already determined that you have asked for someone not suitable for you, and thus has found the one who is.

It is important that should you do these powerful love spells, you keep an objective and open mind about it so that you will not miss what the universe is actually trying to tell you. And be open to all three possibilities.


Some of the things you learn in schooling or church are of little use to you now - but remember the method they used, and use it for yourself to get what you want.


Again meditative commands or interceptions, work because of the way you have been taught as a child in school - similar methods of a perceived authority figure, quietness,(isolation from distractions), exposure, linking, absorption, then reconsideration.

As you have the symbols brought to you; if they are re-associated or linked with a past known event or impression - then your mind and consideration is brought to a future expectation. 

One would hope you will put the effort in to progressively adapt yourself, to bring that expectation to some sort of reality.
Thus the secrets are revealed.


The Tarot helps - use it; - used as it is meant to be, it is another tool in your magic chest for getting what you want in life. It does make it easier for you.



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Why does everyone else seem to be happy? What is their secret?

A youthful happiness for us.

Finding your Happiness, is it even possible?

Picture the child at the playground, or the party, - with bags of lollies or nice clothes. She or he is surrounded by toys, doting parents, and other happy kids.

Yet, although their world appears to be exactly as they’d want it, they are sobbing in apparent distress.

A dramatic representation for sure, yet many of us are not all that different from the little boy or girl on the playground. Many of us are going about, or seeing happiness distinctly wrong.

Despite what we may believe,or are told, we are not really seeking our own happiness at all. We at times don’t know ourselves well enough to figure out what we actually want. We conform to the ideas and ideals of our society, our family, and other influences, that sway our own point of view.

Unless we are careful, we spend our lives repeating patterns and filling other's prescriptions from our past, that don’t serve us in the present, and we wind up seeking someone else’s idea of happiness for us.

There are many influences from our early environment that we internalize, repeat or adapt to.
For example, a narcissistic parent who acted superior and domineering. Perhaps, she boasted about herself, while putting you down or disregarding you completely. Growing up, you may take on her point of view toward yourself.
You will have mean thoughts or “critical inner voices” that tell you you’re inferior or that you are insignificant and only take up space.

You'll also run the risk of repeating the negative traits of your parent, in which case, you’ll notice having your own thoughts or feelings of superiority or entitlement.

Maybe you’ll act out the same condescending, critical attitudes toward your children, or your partner/s, or sidestep confrontation, to retreat into your self and avoid standing out.

These adaptations will have made you feel safe in your childhood, but these same traits will be hurting you and holding you back as an adult.

To achieve true happiness, we have to drop the baggage from our past, and resist any urge to play the victim role that others prefer us in.
When we acknowledge our own ability to choose, and thence our own power, we have a much stronger sense of resilience and can better handle life.

 Happiness involves maturity, knowing we that can’t control others, only ourselves.
Being parental toward those around us keeps us from focusing on changes we can make for ourselves. On the other side, being childish and allowing others to control us, again, undermines our power and potential.

Overall, contentment or happiness doesn’t come from filling our days with fun things. Thrill-seeking and instant gratifications don’t work for too long, as we become numb to them, or tired of the efforts as they fail to fulfill us on a deeper level.
To find and lead a life that has particular meaning to us, we can feel more satisfied and joyful.


   Happiness means being willing to evolve. We are most alive when we plan and expand and try new things. Happiness means maintaining your interest in new and lively choices that will keep the spark inside you alive.

When we look at these principles, we quickly realize that seeking happiness isn’t selfish. When we are authentic, happy and fulfilled individuals, we are far better for the people around us and for society at large.
We are better parents, better partners, better bosses, co-workers, friends and citizens. As we follow the path we have carved for ourselves, we can still expect old influences to seep in and critical inner voices to flood our heads.

It is up to us to satisfy, and answer those thoughts to some degree, thus freeing us, and allowing our release from their hold.

We then become the designers of our happiness, and begin to lead a fulfilling life.




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To get a romantic love, is it possible for me? - or an external force?

Fate in romances, and our choices

It seems as if love is like an external force. It’s something that happens to us, strikes us like the romantic cupid's arrow or overcomes us like a sunny day.

The problem with thinking of love this way, and that is that it focuses outward. It overlooks our own sense of power and leaves us to believe that we are victims of our romantic fate, without control.

Subconsciously this may be true, yet really we do have the abilities within to get what we want.

There are many popular reasons why people are either single or pulling out of their relationship.

• "I don't want to be hurt"
• "Women are so dramatic."
• "Men just want sex."
• "I’m just not good at intimacy."
• "I need to be by myself right now."
• "No one finds me attractive."
• "I'm too busy right now."

These statements are often based on critical inner voices, destructive thoughts directed toward oneself and others.
Most of this negative self-talk is wrong (and is often someone else's statements we have taken on):-  and can be covering up something else — something deeper.

If we want to give ourselves the best chance of finding and maintaining a rich and rewarding relationship, we have to look inside ourselves. The dating world can be full of obstacles, but our worst enemy is usually in our own heads.

Love for some of us, is the ultimate experience in that we feel so attuned and connected to someone else.
Yet, hopefully it is also a process of adventure and discovery that is internal.

Understanding that inner world is really the most important to letting ourselves get close to someone else. And keeping that romance happening for us.

Here are a few ways we may be getting in our own way when it comes to intimacy.

1. Avoiding pain:

Love hurts. The saying is both tired and true. Yet, as much as it gets lamented in pop songs or portrayed on movie screens, we don’t really let it sink in. Part of us feels, once we find the right person and make the smart choices, love will be easy — blissful, less complicated than all those other relationships around us.

Many people pull back the moment things get close. Caring about another person deeply is a truly painful thing. It makes us value them more, ourselves more and our lives more. Inevitably, it reminds us of time and loss. On another level, love challenges an old and familiar identity. It brings us into maturity and forces us to separate from our past. When we get close to someone, it shifts underlying emotions — things we’ve buried and sat on for years.  We have to recognize the ways we’ve been hurt and understand how those wounds inform our current behavior. This means being willing to feel pain without trying to numb ourselves or gloss over the feelings that come up.

2. Retreating into a fantasy:

Once people get scared in their relationship, many couples have a tendency to form a fantasy bond, a defense that allows us to feel as if we’ve joined with another person. (Soul-mates for the time).

 This illusion will make us feel safe and secure,and seems to offer a sense of control and security,
but it undermines most feelings of real love. When people retreat into fantasy they start to relate as a unit, presenting themselves as a couple instead of as two individuals who are genuinely drawn to each other.

They start to impose confines and restrictions on each other, so neither party feels threatened,(hopefully), yet both feel limited. They become critical and demanding toward each other rather than respecting each other’s individuality and independence.
And this, for most, creates a hotbed for resentment and drives them apart.


Couples are much better off maintaining a sense of themselves as two separate people with sovereign minds who genuinely care for and appreciate each other.

This independence encourages us to respect our partner and treat him or her kindly. Only when we see someone as separate from us, can we genuinely care about how they feel, and we are better able to keep our attraction to them, and our-self, alive.


3. Protecting ourselves:

Both men and women say how much they want to find love, then, once they find it, feel like not being  close for some reason or reasons.

Some complained of feeling tied down or pulled on, and others become incredibly insecure and jealous. Every single one of these people could trace these reactions back to their early lives: parents who intruded on them or rejected them, caretakers who shamed them or frightened them. (The invocation of others again).
In response to painful events in their life, these people adapted, taking care of themselves or vowing to never trust anyone.
These survival mechanisms do serve a purpose, yet can leave us isolated from some possibly good for ourselves.
These defenses push our partners away and end up causing a lot of pain.
Getting to know our defenses is a key step in learning how we limit ourselves in our relationships.


4. Believing our inner critic:

 The critical inner voice is an inner enemy - or must be treated as one- that drives us to avoid closeness, to shut off emotions and retreat into a fantasy.
It puts us down in countless ways, tearing into our appearance, performance, personality and aspirations. It is a pain, in the sense that it both soothes and punishes us.
Sometimes, it sounds like a mean coach, "No one will ever want you". Other times it sounds like a comforting parent, "Don’t bother with...you are just fine on your own."

The critical inner voice can and will seriously undermine our life and our romantic desires.
It turns us against us, and our partner or potential partner in ways that make it even harder to achieve real success or intimacy.
This voice is a phantom from our past. It is not represent the true reality.
It is indeed a destructive filter through which we see the world that tries to keep us in someone else's box or place in life.

At every stage of a relationship, when the critical inner voice tries to exert its influence, we must confront it as a third-party threat. Make sure to identify it and separate it from your real point of view. There are useful exercises and techniques to help you do this. See the links below- they do work.

Recognizing you have a power in your relationship by challenging your past defenses. doesn’t mean not liking, or even blaming yourself. Quite the opposite - you can feel good about becoming the best you can be.

It allows you to work on the only thing you have any real control over in your relationship, you.
When you’re able to maintain a sense of yourself as an independent, aware, and loving individual, then no matter what anyone else says or does, you will feel your own sense of control and empowerment, and stay open to success in the real love in your life.

 *****

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I'm lonely, - how do I get the Love others have? part 10 - love spells bringing you success.

Creating your own reality by design.

Part 10, of the simple 10 steps to go from lonely to being in love.

Step 10: Love Spells


We are still in the esoteric mode - just stay with it - the poems and the associations have a sound and effective basis.

Now you can cast your spell.

Do Yesterday’s Exercise first-

 Yesterday’s exercise: Look over your list again. Do you think it is right, or are there changes to make? 

Make whatever changes you think are necessary before you cast your spell. This will help you be definite when you make your spell, and it will assure that what you think you want is what you really want.

Now we go to work;- well fun really.

There are 'love spells' for you, no matter what your ideas: Christian, New Age, Heathen, Wiccan, metaphysician, etc. A few samples.are here to start you on the road.

Each tradition usually has its own set of love spells for you to use.

Now cast your spell!

Metaphysical Style Type Spoken Spell

There is One Mind, One principle, One Universal Soul, One Love, and I am one with that One.
I am now connected with the Universal Love of the One, and through my word I am sending it forth now.
The great Love, guided by the All-Knowing Mind, is now seeking and finding companions for me. The power knows the right ones for me. It knows where they are, and I let it work to bring them to me.
This One great power is now attracting to me my rightful friends/companion. It is drawing them to me, and they will be seen in good order.
I know that the power is working for me, and I give thanks that new friends (companion) are in my life. So it is!

Heathen Spoken Spell

Three ladies danced across the land

                                        Bringing love into my hand:
                                                      The first called him [or, her]
                                                      The second brought him,
                                         The third bound us together.
                                                    Whatever the weather.


Candle Spell

Use a green or pink candle with an easy appropriate incense (Jasmine, Apple or your favourite new one). Get a small, inexpensive figurine of a cat. It can be as tiny as you wish. Start the spell normally. If Pagan, invoke a deity related to Love. As a key point of your spell, place the figurine beside the candle. Speak the following charm:

Kitten, kitten, hark to me,
A lover (friends) I would have, you see.
Look and find that one for me
Bring him (her) to me, so will it be!

Christian prayer.

Oh Lord, I ask for your forgiveness for all my sins, and now pray to you to help me become one with you.
As I get better, I know you will guide the right people to me, so we can continue in our path together in Christ.
As I let you bring them to me, my faith will let me determine those who are a joy to our journey.
I thank you Oh Lord,
Amen.



You can make your own - in fact to have a 2-4 line saying you have created for you - is the ultimate 'spell' to quickly and easily get that you have planned for yourself.

It has to be positive - I used to say 'I'm not having that', which is a good standards determination.
But my success immediately improved, and remarkably once I sat down for a while and came up with a 2 line rote which I internalized - that was a possibility re-frame.



1:

Yesterday’s exercise: Look over your list again. Do you think it is right, or are there changes to make? Make whatever changes you think are necessary before you cast your spell. This will help you be definite when you make your spell, and it will assure that what you think you want is what you really want.



2:

Meditation: See yourself stepping out into the world, glowing with brilliance. Imagine yourself as confident, lovable, and happy. Know that as this energy radiates from you, it brings you more of the good companionship you seek. Know that your inner lovability is now working for you, and that you deserve all the good you desire.


3:

Exercise:You can buy or make a love charm, either to carry or to place. Get one posted from Amazon, or go to the local dollar store. It does-not have to be expensive -much like the cat figurine for the  new age candle prayer, it is a talisman or symbol. Re-read the silver spoon post here.
If you can, make something, or a 2 or 3 of them, the process, meditation, and thinking while making will work wonders.
Put the charm were you see it each morning and night -if not carried with you if small.

If a personal relationship turns to an unwanted one- revise, and bring out the talisman again.

Thought for the Day:  I am ready to go forward, confident that I am lovable. I will attract the people who make me happy, and who are happy with me.


PS:-Note again how this also works for success in anything.



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I'm lonely, - how do I get the Love others have? part 9 - the power of magick, within you.

The magick of a love earned.

Part 9, of the simple 10 steps to go from lonely to being in love.


Step 9: Love Magick

Having become more lovable, you are now ready to help the process.

This lesson may seem like esoteric fantasy, yet stay with it. The psychology is in fact sound, and the processes even in their different or odd framing will produce results. So here we go..

Magick can help, after you have worked through the preceding lessons. 

Love spells have a long and ancient history,and in the right manner do work for you.

Whether they are in the guise of either a Christian, Pagan, or other prayer, or tarot/rune reading or any similar methodology, The fact is that when you are ready inside yourself - they seem to bring circumstances to you.

However, there are a few “rules of the road” to discuss before we begin. Much like we said above, a love spell can only bring you what you 'deserve'. 

It cannot and will not bring you circumstances for which you are not ready. As in the rainbow and pot of gold analogy from before, you must undertake some activity to get it. Even those who are struck by lightning (an averagely rare occurrence) have actively or inactively been somewhere for that to come to them.

The spells work with the 'Law of Attraction', which means ‘like attracts like,’or a water fills or flows to a space available for it.

 If you want the perfect wealthy non-drinking Prince Charming, or the polite and lovely Centerfold Girl who is a wonderful homemaker and party girl combined, you can pretty much forget about it, unless you have, or are something or someone they want. 

Note - perfect combinations exist only in our mind - our ambition is to get close to that.

If you want someone with whom you will be comfortable, however, that is easily possible, and this is your aim, as it will bring you a long-term happiness.

Secondly, you have to be careful not to ask for a absolutely specific person or type, unless there is a lot of them, it takes too long to get one; then they have some bad bad parts which will do you no good.

Plus, the measure must mostly be yours, not your friends, or relatives. 

Good authentic relatives will guide you, and support your decision making; friends can see what you cannot see - yet it is your life you are designing.

At best, looking for a 10 out 10, be it the current George Clooney, or Raquel Welch -"jams up" the magickal works. 

At worst, it backfires in ways that can be so exasperating. 

 Besides, love does not always look or present itself in the media portrayed package way you expect. 

Third, you cannot be too indefinite. You really do have to have some idea of what you want. 

Do not just say “A man” or “a woman” or “new friends.” Think of attributes you would like them to have. Use your previous lists. You can ask for a kind, gentle and caring individual, and someone who matches your standards. 

Take the time to examine yourself, your motives, and your desires. A little self-checking before the spell can save you a lot of exasperation afterward.

 Ask for what you really want, and be sure that what you think you want is actually what you want. 

My experience as a normal 'average' person, leads me - to promise you - you will get what you design for -

 Life Secret:- do the meditations, thinking, and exercises, allow good to happen - and very very importantly - allow yourself permission to have what you get, and look after it.

Think about what matters to you before you cast a spell, and do include it in the spell.

1:

Exercise: On one side of a page, write ten to fifteen things you want in friends. On the other half, write ten to fifteen things you want in a lover. Spend no more than ten minutes on this entire exercise.
When you have finished, put the list away privately and forget about it until tomorrow.


 2:

 Meditation: Imagine the kind of people you want in your life. Think deeply on their temperament, interests, and attitudes. Ponder deeper reasons why people appeal to you. Muse over this for a while, and  next, think of what you do not want. Think on the unwanted only briefly, as like most of us- what we don't want can out-shadow the good we want in life.Aim for the good - your aim is true.
Finally, reflect again on what you want. Know that within you is the power to attract the right people to you.



  3:

Go to one of the dating links below - allowing up to 30 minutes;- notice how you can quickly now see the sort of profiles/people that you might want to allow in your life now. Stop there, still a bit more to do to get what you want.
This exercise is for you to recognize the change in yourself. Sign out.

When you are at work, shopping or in the company of other people, practice being your new self, and notice the ease it feels with you.
If you have done all the lessons to date well - you will feel that others are finding you an attractive person to be around. (Some won't -they have their own life path - stay away from them, emotionally, mentally, or physically.) Focus on the good, and move on through your day.



Thought for the Day: Because I am the right person for what I desire. The friends (lover) I seek are (is) right for me. 


PS:-Note again how this also works for success in anything.



Part 10 tomorrow...



Recommend links to help you...


 Spiritual click- meet your soulmate 

Connect with Christian singles now.









And  If you need some help with the visualizing process.



Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition  


   


Turn your computer into the ultimate meditation assistant.






photo courtesy public domain

I'm lonely, - how do I get the Love others have? part 2 - be happy in your own self

Believe in your abilities and value yourself to succeed.

Part 2, of the simple 10 steps to go from lonely to being in love.

Step 2: Lovability is not a body thing

Society has long perpetuated the idea that appearances are crucial to relationships, and it will continue to do so while money is involved.

Each generation has promoted certain facial and body types as ideal.

The impression is that to be lovable, one must try to be as close as possible to that physical ideal.
It is promoted in nearly all public media, as the way to win friends and companions.

[Hint - advertisers pay the wages, expenses, and pleasures, of the media entities - so the more you think you need exactly this fashion of item to be acceptable; the more satiated they are.]

 The very world around you exposes the “proper body” thing as trickery. Why does that ugly man have so many friends? Why does the larger woman have a very active love life? How come the skinny one with the long/short hair is among the first invited to any party or event? Obviously, appearances are not everything, to everybody.

 The Secret:- In every case, one thing is that some people are comfortable “in their own skins”.
They are so comfortable with their physical appearance that they do not spend time trying to change it to be desirable. They do stay within the social norms of cleanliness, grooming etc. To focus on other things which are more important, is better; attention to being non-offensive is good. As is clothing yourself in styles and colours for your enjoyment.

Body type is not the final decider in the love stakes. Fat, thin, short, tall, dark, light, all have the natural ability to attract friends and companions.

The real key to friendship is an inner being. The attraction is a matter of who you are,- to yourself; not too much on how you look.

 The immediate thing is to get comfortable in your own skin. Look at yourself and accept that this is who you are right now. Realize that there are people who will be perfectly satisfied with you as you are right now. It happens for others all the time. It can and will happen for you.

Also, know that for every body type, there are people who find it attractive. There are people who like physical types other than those promoted by society. Somewhere, there are people who would find you alluring.

***One thing about appearances may have to change, no matter what type you may be. People respond best to a clean, neat appearance. You go far in making a good impression when you wear clean clothes and maintain a clean, fresh appearance. Do not minimize this. Many otherwise acceptable people have been shunned because they ignore person hygiene. Very often, they are so self-absorbed that they do not realize it.***

Even if you are attempting to change your body through diet, weight gain or exercise, realize that your body is just right for today. You do not have to wait until your reach your goal to enjoy being comfortable in your body. Even as a body changes, it is still alright for its time and place.
I promise you, it will change - whether you are 13, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60- or anywhere in between, nature has plans for you, (and for your detractors if they exist as well.)

1:

Twice a day meditation: Really easy one this:- Image yourself in a positive light. Think of your body. See it bathed in brilliance. Appreciate every curve and contour, each limb and joint and angle. Draw up a loving feeling for you body. Take your time (say more than 5 minutes) with this meditation. Emerge from your meditation feeling good about yourself.

2:

Journal or diary exercise: (You can get nice ones from Amazon if you want.) On a piece of paper, make two columns - and write down what you do not like about yourself right now - think carefully, this is mostly what you think - not someone said to you.

Only five to six things at the very most just now.- no more - and why you don't like them.

Next, on the opposite side of this page, write what are some of the things you could do to change - using what you have now.

Now turn the page over, and write down five to ten things you like about yourself, and next to each thing write a few words as to why. Spend no more than thirty minutes on this project.

When you finish the list, put it away in a very private place, and forget about it until next week.
You are now on your way.


3: 

Go back to yesterday’s exercise: Allow yourself half an hour for this revision.Take out this list.
Look over it and see which of the things you offer will match the things you seek in new friends.
Begin to consider which things are good enough, and which need improvement, and why.
Are there any qualities you need, or would like to develop? Write it all down, on this piece of paper or an attached sheet.
We will come back to this one tomorrow, as you see the progress as you improve and develop your strengths.

4:

Go to a different dating or singles website, than yesterday- a link is below of one - and observe without desire or criticism -how people focus on one side of the page of qualities or the other. Sign out - your journey continues.
(You don't need a dating site to find people - we are using them here as a safe observation tool to learn.)

Thought for the Day: I am comfortable in my body. 

It is the perfect body for me today.

 PS:-Note again how this also works for success in anything.


Part 3 tomorrow..


Recommend link to help you.





 



pic courtesy of publicdomainpics,net

"I'm lonely, - how do I get the Love others have? part 1 - planning the dance

The simple 10 steps to go from lonely to being in love.

Step 1: Make Yourself Lovable

            Think for a minute about why you are reading this. It is only natural to want more for yourself........

 

• Are you alone and looking for friends?

• Are you dissatisfied with the company you keep?

• Do you want better companions and acquaintances?

• Do you seek a romantic companion, a lover or mate?

• Or do you wish to brighten your prospects for new relationships?

Any of these alone is a valid reason to be doing this.

The point is that you want to have better relationships with people.

Look briefly at all of your relationships, from casual acquaintances to close friends to rivals. You are the connecting thread.

When you are seeking new friends, better friends, companions or lovers, the one constant factor is you. Nothing changes unless YOU take action.

This is the powerful key to having better relationships. It is better for you to take the first step.

Everything about you sends a message to others. Through your gestures, posture, body movements, tone of voice, manner of speaking and attire, you broadcast yourself. You show people who you are. Changing clothes and looks will help, though there is more of you that tells the story.
It helps to think that you also broadcast an unseen message, or aura. People who get close will sense it, even if they do not consciously know it is there.


Through meditation and other techniques, you can begin to radiate your interest in better relationships. You can also help by thinking of the kind of relationships you desire. Back your thoughts with feeling.

 This takes a little time, but if you work at it a little each day, you will get results.

1:

Once a day meditation: Take a few minutes from the day you are in, and imagine that within you is a powerful internal magnetic force. Picture, and feel this force as it radiates out from you. Imagine that it radiates in waves that grow ever stronger. Mentally see it attracting people who are good for you.. Each pulse draws them closer. At the same time, see it repelling those who are bad for you. See it sending them away.

Next, see yourself as bright and attractive. Imagine that you are encircled in a bright, positive glow.  The glow becomes brighter and more appealing. Enjoy the feeling of this healthy, happy burst of brilliance.

Now holding that feeling slowly re-enter the knowing of the environment around you.

Each day feel this magnetic force will grow within you, and you will notice good results.

2:
Journal or diary exercise: (You can get nice ones from Amazon if you want.) On a piece of paper, make two columns - and write down the kind of people you hope to attract.
Put five to ten traits or qualities you want in these people - no more - and why you want them.
Next, on the opposite side of the page, write five to ten things about yourself that you can offer people. Spend no more than ten minutes on this project.
When you finish the list, put it away in a private place, and forget about it until tomorrow.
You are now on your way.

3:

Go to a dating or singles website- a link is below of one- and observe without desire or criticism -how people focus on one side of the page of qualities or the other. Sign out - your journey continues.



Thought for the Day: I open myself up to friendship, and to the possibility of better relationships in my world.



 PS:- this also works for success in anything- do one aspect at a time though - that really is the faster way


Part 2 tomorrow..


Recommend link to help you.


www.foreign date finder.com

pic courtesy of publicdomain

Your and my right to a better life. Poverty is an indoctrination of control and fear

Poverty is in no way - a virtue

Strong words - yet very true. We do have a right to a better life.

Often we do not fully address the issue of the quality of life available to us. Instead, positioning ourselves as we are directed, by those we listen to.


It is now time to change that for you.


There are a lot techniques, tools and even prayers, and spells; to get money, healing, love, and all those things we want in life. They are important, yet there are primary steps to make it easier.


Mostly the quality of our lives is an expression of our minds. What we habitually think, question, and believe shows in our experience of the world.  By changing our thought and our habitual actions/reactions, we can change the quality of our lives, and the results we get.

This does take more than a few prayers or meditations. It requires choosing, and a desire to change for the better, with implementing the actions.
Of course, learning what works the best way as you go along, and doing those new ways.


Many people wish for a better life. Yet to get to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you have to get it physically somehow first. Quality living only really comes, and stays with, people of quality. Many who want a better life are people who need to work as becoming quality persons.


This can be done easily, with excellent results. The payoff is quality of life that endures for the rest of your life.


Abundance begins in our minds.


One of the most promoted beliefs in our world, is that poverty is virtuous, while prosperity is 'sin.'  It is not only a myth, but a deceitful falsehood.
This introduced belief has kept millions from enjoying prosperity. It allows misery, sickness, degeneracy and victimization, and is behind much of our world’s needless suffering.


Where there is lack, there is disease, accident, crime, control, and despair for some. When there is plenty, and it is allowed- there is health, safety, peace and optimism.


You can learn to have an abundance of good in your life.

You will not have to work as hard or as long as you thought. A person who has a prosperous mind will find the work that she or he enjoys.They will enjoy their well-being without becoming a slave.



The myth of virtuous poverty is used by anyone hoping to appeal to the common trend.The rich do indeed prefer to be an exclusive minority. When a guru, prophet, or journalist/author wants to play to the masses, flattery helps. What better way than to tell the poor that they are virtuous while the rich were sinful?  Governments and administrations do use the same stunt to placate the mass of the people.


The current myth about virtuous poverty depends heavily on the middle eastern tales of Jesus.  Because Christianity dominated Europe in the Middle Ages, its mythology has had a tremendous effect on Western culture.  Yet - Pagans, Heathens, Christians of all forms; it makes little difference really.


Poverty is in no way a virtue. Care and good management of your life and wealth is. Poverty is a breeding ground of misery and criminality, or at the very least the criminal's desire to have for themselves;- using their 'skills' as is. Poverty breeds misery; misery leads to despair, and despair brings out the worst in people.


One of the necessities of Prosperity is to stop serving the poverty idea to your mind. It will bring almost an immediate change for you. It is OK for you to have.

One technique for focusing the mind is the use of repeated statements. However, the affirmation is not a complete cure.


The trick is to get your affirmation to be accepted subconsciously, and with ease. Many of the New thought schools teach that if you ram home an idea, the subconscious will work to make it come true.

This is a great system for them, and can work if it is done often enough.(Note the time/money quotient, and where it is swayed to.)

The gurus will use an absolute statement, such as “I am wealthy.” They love that “I am”, and they promote the idea that if a person repeats it enough, the subconscious will accept it and make it come true. Actually the more a poor thinking person persists, the more their internal censor resists. It is not unusual for a person to be worse off because of the strong desire for an equilibrium.


 The trick is to work gradually.  Instead of saying 'I am wealthy', you can say 'What can I do to be wealthy?....What do I change for me?'


 Be aware that affirmations are a small part of the process. They get you started. A prosperity mentality does not come just because you repeated statements.  There is other work to be done.

Another help is a focused meditation.  A simple one is to meditate and image a symbol of wealth.
Go to the silver spoon post.- Imagine that this symbol is emanating energy. The energy looks like a light, and focus the light to yourself. Think that this power is now filling me.  I let it draw me to prosperity.  I let is flow outward and draw prosperity to me….” Use your own words.  After a few minutes, end the meditation.  Let the image of the symbol fade, as you become aware of the actual world.

What the meditation does, is that it helps focus your mind and create an atmosphere conducive to prosperity.
          
There is a personality to which prosperity is drawn, and there is a personality that repels prosperity.

The key is to eliminate the poor traits and replace them with prosperous ones.


A noticeable difference between prosperous and poor people is behavior. Rather than being a person who is rude, profane and filthy, start being clean, dignified and courteous. Your value to yourself and others will be higher, with better results.

Here are things you must do


Be clean and neat, an easy to start with discipline that changes your view on life, and others view of you. Look to your hygiene and appearance, and bath regularly and brush your teeth.Look after your clothes, and footwear. The same goes for your home space, and vehicles.Be a little clean and tidy.


Properly wealthy people show manners. Do add 'please, and thank you' to your vocabulary. Show courtesy without being subservient or noxious. Conduct yourself appropriately, in each setting. That includes your language, no vulgarity is good. A civil way of speaking invites others to listen to you.

Luck, and opportunity favours people of dignified disposition and clean appearance.

Make yourself valuable

Wealth favors people who have something to offer. By the same token, it evades those who are indolent and wasteful.

There is a probability that you are more valuable than you might think. Even if that is not so, you can make yourself more valuable. By learning skills and gaining knowledge you become more useful and thus have better prospects for prosperity.


Make a list of your talents and abilities, where you want to go, and what steps you will take to increase your value.


                                                                   ******


Recommended Links to help you...Choose a couple... 

Napoleon Hill's books - the bibles of success.



Les brown - the master of motivation - helping you. and-



Discover the ideas to achieve the life of your dreams, with help from the master of success.







Make money by putting LOVE first and do Unlock the flow of wealth into your life...

Develop a millionaire mindset easily and quickly with -



 

Become the best you can be with Mindmint

A higher Awareness bringing you a better life.







pic courtesy public domain

Will I find the right person for me? Discovering if or if - not, and why.

Finding the right one for me

How will I know when I meet the right person? - or  - Is this really the right person for me?''


I often hear these questions, and have asked them at times too.



There are different reasons why people get together.....

• To seek/receive or give love, validation, security and safety
• To share love and to grow emotionally and spiritually
• To satisfy physical (includes safety as well as sexual) needs
• To leave a current situation for a better, or hopeful situation.

In a perfect world for the normal among us - the sharing, or mutual growth is the ideal.


If you feel insecure and alone, you are likely to look for someone who will fill that little bit of inner emptiness, and give you the love you are seeking; so you feel adequate and worthy.

The problem is that no one can do this for you forever; - it is something you really only can do for yourself.

  Instead of asking the question, "Is this the right person for me?" why not ask, "Am I being the right person?" Am I being a person who comes to a relationship filled with love to share, or am I being a needy person hoping to get love and validation? Or is the other person too needy for me right now?

Relationships don't work sometimes because each person is disappointed in not getting what they expected to get from the other person. (The long-term dream).



Here are few essential ingredients to look for, to see if the person is to be the right person for you:

• There needs to be a basic spark of attraction. Mentally and physically; you can learn this easily if you choose to.

• Each of you needs to be capable of caring, compassion, empathy and acceptance for who each of you are. An ease of acceptance, with a tolerance of the individuality present.

• Both of you need to be open to learning in conflict, rather than just wanting to win and be right.

• Both are best to want to learn or to have similar views on your future lives.

Other ingredients, such as common interests and values, acceptance of beliefs, etc, are also important, but the above three ingredients, will help to sustain the relationship.
 

To know if this is the right person for you, be aware if your intent in being in a relationship is to learn together and share. A person who comes from a growing or full place within, notices others, and may be attracted to a similar level person.


N.B. Conflict of some sort can occur in all relationships, and if both people are not open to learning about themselves and each other within it, the unresolved conflicts will eventually cause the end of a relationship. Since not many of us enter relationships fully healed, it is important to know that your partner is willing to work through things, rather than just protect against it with controlling behavior.
Mutuality is a good plan, as the unilateral desire to control things and manipulate them to satisfy our ideal outcome doesn't come from love. It comes from the fear of letting go, the fear that things aren’t going to turn out the way you want them to. Fear and control do not seem to make happy partners.


Develop a contentment within yourself - the positive results will surprise you. 



Some recommended links to start you on your better life..... 

  Buy Roy Sheppards book - "..Be The One", and read it, and start to work at it

Live Tarot readers - to find a new direction - for you today.


Creative Visualization, Manifesting, Guided Meditation, Self Hypnosis, Improving your Intuition 






Every Relationship starts with a date - search for free now.


Recommended link

Find people you know, a search by Spokeo

pic courtesy of pdp.net Sabine Sauermaul