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| Cage of life and humanity |
Fear becomes a way of life. You don't trust yourself, and don't trust anyone else, either. Some people respond to their outer critics by acting out against others, or to batten down the hatches and disappear.
Most peoples responses are to never fully trust again, period.
In moderation, that is a valid approach in part, as the trusting-ness often led us into the situation.
Put back in your mind though; that not 100% of the world are awful 100% of the time. Some good in humanity, and nature at different times, does exist.
Being labelled with PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress, it does seem accurate - all we really want to do is:-
1- not have had it happened,
2- never have it happen again to us,
3- destroy the person or cause responsible, for some small level of satisfaction.
(number 3 is a good plan - but stay within your regime's or jurisdiction's law -
- it does save time and hassles)
4-focus on rebuilding what we had, or desired.
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Despite it all being “invisible” externally, is as real as a devastating physical wound, for those that suffer its disabling effects.
On a positive note - in time - we do become healed, and better equipped for the future with our new knowledge.
It can keep getting triggered by small reminders, only serving to hold us, or put us back in a place of not coping, or unsure even if our feelings our valid, or is it OK to even think that way.
No one else, really understands what we have been through, and they offer only bandages or platitudes which serve to cover the inner damage we feel.
To us it is as real as this moment now sometimes, - our inner critic's voices questioning us, and the seeming intensity of all we only wish to be dulled, so that we can cope, and get on with our life.
We do need to silence the lies that those inner voices (responses) tell us about ourselves, that we have used for so long as part of a coping method. - (NB. they are usually invocations from someone wanting power over you).
The inner critic tells you that you're defective and responsible for every bad thing that happens to you. The outer critic tells you that most human beings shouldn’t be trusted because they are all potentially, dangerous.
Both your inner critic and outer critic lie to you.
Most of the stress comes from the list of thoughts above, and our lack of resources, or even being allowed to deal with it.
Your plan for you, is to develop thoughts of altering your responses, not abolishing the feelings.
To re-frame the events and responses as a movie (in which you are a less passionate observer is perfect, or to re-frame or physically distance yourself is as good).
Being respectful of a your internal resistance, is critical in your long term improvement...gentle, respectful work is amazingly powerful.
*not pushing for results- as your abuser/authority has done, and who are never satisfied until they fully disable you, driving you into a deep depression and isolation from others - This is the politician's,- banker's,- abuser's,- authority's, and warmonger's game plan, to have ultimate control over you.
Whether it is war, losing friends, family, or your things; being hurt physically or psychologically - we can improve our lives to a happy place - or one of contentment with ourselves at least.
You are allowed, and it is OK to become the leader in your own life.
Recommended links to help you.
Assertiveness training, stress handling techniques by the world famous David Bonham-Carter.
photo courtesy wikipedia commons peter cruise
