Many times we look at others, and question why, or excuse ourselves from success, by satisfying ourselves in thought and emotion by thinking or saying - 'they had - we couldn't/won't/wouldn't. How come they have, or they are able to? I'm not good enough, or too good to do that.'
Apart from the family dynasty's some are in, or the places they live in-which are all changeable.
It comes to beliefs, as we've talked about before, and actions - some call traits - a quality that makes one person or thing different from another.
A few general success traits follow -
Responsibility; Once you conceive you have choices, you then accept responsibility for making choices. It's a common thought that responsibility is always seen as a big thing - some dreary, painful duty. Because in a way it's a privilege. Accepting responsibility is accepting and acting on our personal power.
Even when we've been subjected to bad health, crime, betrayal, fire, earthquake, or accidents, it feels better to be able to say, "I'm responsible for what I do now" than it does to lay about and blame God, the government, your mother, the unmentionables, or an uncaring world.
Accepting it and acting positively does reinforce our self belief of success, and lay the foundation for greater, later satisfaction.
Planning ahead; Could well be one of the first traits listed for greater life satisfaction. No, the first draft of plans don't always work, but they're better than not having any. It is important to feel a connection to the future - we then understand that actions we take today have consequences tomorrow.
Creativity or spirituality; Creative or spiritual people "see beyond" - not only in the sense of things that others miss, but also in feeling connected to things that haven't happened yet — but can, depending on our choices.
Examples could be finding some way to use someone else's discards, or figuring how to make great meals from simple, inexpensive ingredients. It could mean making inexpensive entertainment for ourselves and our children when money is tight. It could mean seeing a way to make an independent living after losing what we thought was a secure job.
It is simply seeing and acting on possibilities that others may not perceive. Both creativity and spirituality involve looking within oneself and living with one's own mind, feelings, and beliefs. That can be painful at times, but doing so builds inner resources that in turn can help build a life satisfaction.
Support networks; If looking within is important, so is considering others. Even for hermits, others must be considered.
True friends will offer support, both emotional and physical.They may be a guide in a world of darkness.
Equally importantly, for us to have good friends, we usually need to be good friends. Being good friends, means we're less self-absorbed in our own problems - more giving, more in tune to our surroundings, and more conscious that we live in a world where things outside us matter.
A belief in lemonade; You don't have to be an optimist all the time. In fact, optimism may be overrated when it comes to being successful. A possibility thinker is a better standard to have.
Terrible things can eventually have positive consequences. That doesn't mean we don't feel a loss or grief or fear or annoyance when bad things happen.
Yet we know that "this, too, shall pass," and that we may find growth and new opportunity on the other side of suffering. In the terrible moments, we may cry to our God, "Why me?"
But do not get stuck there for a lifetime like some people seem to.
By acknowledging the possibility of positive consequences, we are open to them and help create them.
Frugality; Certainly satisfied people are neither extravagant, wasteful, or stingy. Uncontrolled spending and obsessive cheapness both imply an unhealthy relationship with money. Frugality, on the other hand, speaks of personal wisdom. It also speaks of a number of the other traits we've talked about above. Choice. - Responsibility.- Creativity.- A connection with the future. Frugality means setting and following priorities.
It means choosing not to buy this while saving for some more important that. It means seeing the good possibilities within limitations and difficulties. Frugality is only partly about money, it's much more about mindset.
Not thinking poor; Obviously, being genuinely poor can be desperately stressful. It's challenging to not know where your next rent payment or next week's groceries are coming from.
It can be painful seeing others casually acquiring things that are beyond your reach. But middle-class and upper types have their own version of "thinking poor." How many people with perfect lives - lie awake at night fretting about their debts or fearing that something — inflation, recession, divorce, illness, downsizing — will come along and sweep away all their hard-won possessions? Or having a consuming desire not to seem poor.
People on the road to satisfaction acknowledge the possibilities of loss, but they don't allow fears to dominate their lives.
Learning to relax; (embracing the madness) When a plan or a routine fails ... there may or may not be a time when you feel like you're falling. The first instinct is to thrash around grasping for what isn't there any more, but what you really need to be doing is deploying - or rapidly composing - Plan B.
Plan B often proves a little flawed, but that's OK, it is a starting point and at least gets you going again. Get past the panic. - relax.- accept.- keep moving.
A small daily meditation helps, too.(meditation - not medication). It helps calm the seeming unreality of it all, and wake up the creative part of the brain. you'll find your new normal.
Gratitude; A short well said parable about gratitude (and perspective). "I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet." The lesson, of course, is be grateful for what you have. Satisfied people are grateful people. They dwell not on what they don't have, but on what they do have that's worth having.
Spend a few minutes each night, and think of three plus things you're grateful for, big or small. Write them down. Every so often, (weekly) go back and read them over, and share them with your children or trusted friends. You'll soon notice that, even if your life feels not the best, you have a lot to be grateful for - and a lot of "gratitude attitude" will carry you along.
Consider each a quality that one at a time, will give you what you want:- if needs make it so, address one a week, and so on --It gives you a heightened understanding of how today's choices can become tomorrow's realities.
The ultimate things that create happiness and life satisfaction? Small choices. Day to day. Made over and over with contentment during a lifetime. Now is a good time to start, and is a good time to begin, for you.
photo courtesy public domain
