If we are not an emotional place that we are thriving in - have we really been honest in our initial self assessments. (I'll talk about abuse later.)
To have some power to create events that help us, we had better be open to some learning, from the right places.
Choose your teachers wisely, for the results you want, not what someone wants for you.
At this point, you are ready to move forward in your life - take note of the following ideas.
Ask some simple questions of yourself - How do you want to live your life? Ten and twenty years from now, when you look back, what kind of life will you
want to see? Even further, when you look back in your 80s or 90s, what
kind of life would you like to see?
Forget the things for the moment, use the vision of how your life will be: - A very strong technique is to envision a group in your imagination, with you, say at the same table- talking about how it is, and how well it's been for you, all.
Forget the things for the moment, use the vision of how your life will be: - A very strong technique is to envision a group in your imagination, with you, say at the same table- talking about how it is, and how well it's been for you, all.
Sadly, many people live according to what other people say to them or expect of them. Another month or year passes and a new item in their life, which is upgraded the next year - and the cycle goes on.
When we have that clarity about our life, it is a lot easier. We don’t live according to what the trends are or what everyone is doing. We are aware of them, though let the trends work for us, not us to buy into them.
Develop a sense of what you accept in life, and allow only that in. In simple terms a diet has often been broken by one hamburger, or one bar of chocolate. A learning process, that I'm afraid -works for most people and animals.
Allow an accepted experience in, and it becomes acceptable if the walls/boundaries are not there.
Anger is one sign our boundaries have been invaded.Anger in itself is a healthy response to threats to ourselves, our identity, or abuse. Yet, many of us know the dire consequences we will face if we dare express that anger. To survive, some of us have become masters at repressing anger.
The anger itself is good- it is a signal- it is now up to you to use that signal to change things for the better.
Much as we might think opposing force is natural - it may not get you what you want long term.
Everybody tells us to leave, but neither is that the optimum answer. No one action will fit all situations.
Pick your heroes/mentors well, and even if they are not with you at the time, you would have asked yourself - how they would have dealt with the situation.
And go briefly back to the event in your mind later, and ask how can I do it better if it happens again - or what led to it, do I want to change that.
You can see again the advantage of knowing yourself. You do have to work within your regimes laws.
When we have that clarity about our life, it is a lot easier. We don’t live according to what the trends are or what everyone is doing. We are aware of them, though let the trends work for us, not us to buy into them.
Develop a sense of what you accept in life, and allow only that in. In simple terms a diet has often been broken by one hamburger, or one bar of chocolate. A learning process, that I'm afraid -works for most people and animals.
Allow an accepted experience in, and it becomes acceptable if the walls/boundaries are not there.
Anger is one sign our boundaries have been invaded.Anger in itself is a healthy response to threats to ourselves, our identity, or abuse. Yet, many of us know the dire consequences we will face if we dare express that anger. To survive, some of us have become masters at repressing anger.
The anger itself is good- it is a signal- it is now up to you to use that signal to change things for the better.
Much as we might think opposing force is natural - it may not get you what you want long term.
Everybody tells us to leave, but neither is that the optimum answer. No one action will fit all situations.
Pick your heroes/mentors well, and even if they are not with you at the time, you would have asked yourself - how they would have dealt with the situation.
And go briefly back to the event in your mind later, and ask how can I do it better if it happens again - or what led to it, do I want to change that.
You can see again the advantage of knowing yourself. You do have to work within your regimes laws.
Evaluate yourself under the following, now - and then regularly - initially nightly, then weekly.
(It is from Benjamin Franklin's 13 Virtues - a long time ago - use it -it will guarantee your success- it has mine--you do need other stuff as well)
(It is from Benjamin Franklin's 13 Virtues - a long time ago - use it -it will guarantee your success- it has mine--you do need other stuff as well)
- Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
- Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
- Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
- Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
- Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
- Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
- Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
- Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
- Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
- Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
- Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
- Waste no time on sex as an escape
- Humility. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.
The idea is to help us make
an accurate assessment of our progress - to know when we do and when we
don’t - need redirecting.
The idea isn’t to bludgeon ourselves with the abusive person’s favorite weapon:.... “you aren’t good enough.”
The consistent message is that you are good enough, some modifications will make your live go in the direction you want.
photo courtesy public domain
The idea isn’t to bludgeon ourselves with the abusive person’s favorite weapon:.... “you aren’t good enough.”
The consistent message is that you are good enough, some modifications will make your live go in the direction you want.
We must consider our-self strong, courageous, and resilient, able to create our own reality in the savannah of life.
photo courtesy public domain
